616 The Capital of Youth
Qiao Xi had always been doubting herself. She felt like couldn’t do or learn anything well. Ever since she was young, her parents had been discouraging her, telling her that she was terrible. She was told that she could only rely on her brother in the future. Wang Wentao also said that he was the only one who would not despise her. He was willing to lower himself to be with her.
As time passed, Qiao Xi felt that she was useless and deserved to be despised on for the rest of her life. She felt sad when she heard the oppressing words, but she believed them. No one told her that she could get up and become stronger.
“Qiao Xi!” At that moment, a clear voice interrupted her thoughts. Qiao Xi looked up in a daze. Her eyes and nose turned red, and tears were welling up in her eyes. Shen Hanxing was standing in front of her, looking at her with a serious expression.
Qiao Xi felt an itch in her nose and her tears almost dropped. She tried her best to fake a smile as she said, “Mrs. Ji, I can’t do anything well. I’ll only cause you trouble. I can’t do it.”
“Qiao Xi, stop saying that you can’t do it!” Shen Hanxing’s heart ached. She looked at Qiao Xi with a determined gaze and asked in a deep voice, “You just have to ask yourself if you want to do it!”
Ask herself? Qiao Xi was a little dazed. No one had ever asked her if she wanted to do it. Both her friend and lover had once said to her, “You should have done this”, “You shouldn’t have done that”, and “You’re really stupid”. No one had ever told her that she could express her own thoughts. As for Qiao Xi? Of course she wanted to! She was only in her early twenties. She could be a waitress or a hotel cleaner. She could find a good job with her good looks, but what if she was in her forties? What about when she became fifty years old? Would she still be doing this day after day? She wanted to have a decent job, to be able to help others, to be someone’s hope, and to be looked up to. But was she worthy?
“Qiao Xi, you still have a long life ahead. You can’t just focus on the shortcomings and ignore your strengths. You’re kind, meticulous, quick-witted, and thoughtful. You’ve taken good care of grandma. You are very diligent and learn things very quickly. You’re not stupid at all, you just haven’t tried it.” Shen Hanxing held Qiao Xi’s hand, trying to give her strength. She looked into Qiao Xi’s eyes and said, “You don’t have to think so much. Just tell me, do you want to do it or not?”
“Hmm…” Qiao Xi’s throat was dry. She struggled to utter a word, feeling as if she was in a dream. Was she as good as Shen Hanxing said? So, what she had done was not meaningless, right? Her heart was filled with mixed feelings. With her poor vocabulary, she had no idea how to describe her feelings at this time. She felt like something was urging her. Intense emotions engulfed her continuously. It was as if a stubborn bull was pounding in her heart. She almost felt her heart crushed. All she could hear was the sound of her heartbeat.
Qiao Xi’s eyes warmed up, and her tears fell uncontrollably. She could taste the salty taste of tears. She stuttered with emotion and sobs, “I want to, yes!” At first, her voice was very soft. As she spoke, her voice became louder and stunned herself. It turned out that she could speak and express herself loudly too.
Shen Hanxing could not help but chuckle when she saw Qiao Xi’s stunned expression. She handed her a tissue and said in a soft voice, “If you want to, then go and try. If you’re not good at it, you can learn something else. There are many positions in the Starry Foundation. You’ll be able to find one that suits you best. Go ahead. It’s fine even if you don’t do it well. You’re young,” she said with a smile, “You’ll have plenty of time to start over.”
Qiao Xi’s tears fell like rain as she looked at Shen Hanxing. She could not help but feel envious again.