A Madman in Love

Suin was determined not to back down.

Even if it meant facing life-and-death stakes, she swore she wouldn’t retreat in front of Seo Jaehee. She had promised herself that, over and over again, for the briefest of moments.

“Did you forget?”

She faltered.

Barely three seconds passed before Jaehee’s overwhelming presence forced her a step back.

“...What’s there to forget?”

Suin smoothly turned back toward her desk, feigning nonchalance. She grabbed her bag, making it seem as if stepping back had been her intention all along.

“I have nothing to say.”

Jaehee’s shadow loomed over her, eclipsing her entirely.

Ignoring it, Suin busied herself, slipping her tablet and phone into her bag with calculated calm.

“Really?”

The sultry warmth of his breath caressed the nape of her neck as he spoke, sending an icy-hot shiver down her spine.

“Hey!”

Suin snapped, spinning around.

Jaehee was right there, towering over her, his body blocking her entire field of vision as he leaned closer, his intense gaze locked on hers.

“If you’re planning to run, don’t even try.”

“...”

Regret hit her like a wave.

She had provoked him, she had turned her back on him—and now, there was no way out unless she physically shoved him aside.

“What do you even want to talk about?”

Knowing she couldn’t undo her mistakes, Suin decided to fight back instead.

“How many times do I have to repeat myself like a broken record?”

“...”

“How many times do I need to say it before you’re satisfied? Not that you even listen.”

“Say something worth listening to. Not something I don’t want to hear.”

“Forget it. I’m not doing this.”

The real problem was the heat.

No matter how much she tried to stay cold and indifferent, her body betrayed her. Jaehee’s smoldering gaze trailed her face and lips with such relentless intensity that her temperature seemed to rise against her will.

She felt flushed.

“Answer me.”

His expression only made things worse.

Every ounce of his emotion—frustration, desperation, and raw heat—was written all over his face, transparent and unrestrained.

“Why isn’t it me? Why Baek Ihyeon?”

“Why does it have to be you?”

“It’s obvious—it should be me.”

As always, Seo Jaehee was the root of the problem.

His obsession seeped through his gaze, his words were filled with exasperation, and even his breathing carried traces of hurt.

How could anyone not be shaken by a man like that?

“Lee Suin’s man should be me. Only me.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

A man like him, so utterly confident, so unhesitant...

It was impossible for her heart not to race.

“You’re the only woman in my life, Suin.”

“...”

Her heart didn’t just race—it felt like it was about to burst. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, but it was useless.

“Me? The woman in your life?”

Suddenly, she was furious.

“How can you say something like that with a straight face?”

Once the anger started bubbling, it poured out like a dam breaking through the smallest of cracks.

“You didn’t contact me once in the past ten years!”

Her voice rose, almost shouting, but it wasn’t just anger—it was something deeper.

“Not even a simple ‘how are you,’ not a single email or text!”

Her outburst wasn’t just about the present. It came from something buried deep inside her—emotions she’d hidden for so long that they had taken root.

The face that came to her mind unbidden, the fleeting whispers of his name in the wind, and the feelings she had to suppress all on her own.

The words she had whispered to herself in those quiet moments:

“So you’re leaving without a word, huh?”

“I graduated, Jaehee. Did you graduate too, Jaehee?”

“Not even one call… Guess you didn’t care enough to wonder.”

“Forget it. We’re living separate lives now anyway.”

Suin was hurt.

Deep down, she had felt that same sting of disappointment.

“And now, after all this time, you want me? What kind of nonsense is that?”

“...”

“Do you think I’m some dog who’ll come running, wagging its tail, the moment you call?”

God, she hated this.

“Enough.”

The emotions she had unleashed spilled over, leaving her regretful and bitter. Even that regret felt ridiculous.

“Just stop.”

With a sigh of exasperation, Suin twisted her shoulders, gripping the handle of her bag tightly, intending to walk away.

But Jaehee didn’t step aside.

Instead, he let out a low breath and said, “I couldn’t.”

Suin froze.

Looking down at her, his storm-gray eyes now carried a heavy, wistful sorrow.

“I sealed my emotions away.”

Sealed?

The unfamiliar word made Suin blink in confusion.

“It was the best I could do,” he explained, his gaze softening.

“If I so much as exchanged a few words with you, I wouldn’t have been able to stay in the U.S. If I’d heard your voice, I’d have wanted to return to Korea immediately.”

His words carried raw sincerity, each one exhaled with intensity.

“So I had to seal the version of me that was completely consumed by you.”

A little heightened.

“And yet…”@@novelbin@@

A lot desperate.

“You were all I thought about. It was always you.”

Suin was at a loss for words.

“Madly so.”

The sheer weight of his emotions, so urgent and nearly desperate, made her own feelings seem trivial, like petulant whining.

“What am I supposed to do? The moment I saw you after coming back to Korea… it all came undone.”

Damn it.

“I couldn’t hold back anymore, nor was there any reason to.”

Damn it.

“Do you understand now? It wasn’t a sudden realization—it’s always been you. I never let you go.”

Suin’s throat tightened, her emotions welling up uncontrollably.

“Even during those ten years, even before that, Lee Suin… you’ve always been my first love.”

First love.

Jaehee’s last words struck a chord deep within her, stirring a mix of emotions that threatened to suffocate her.

Her eyes stung, but she forced herself to hold back tears, blinking hard.

“...Not me.”

She spoke slowly, her voice as composed and emotionless as she could manage.

“I don’t feel anything deep for you. Honestly, I don’t even know. I’ve never thought about it.”

It was the truth.

To Suin, men were no more than classmates, colleagues, or acquaintances.

Perhaps it was the resentment and anger she’d harbored toward her father—the first man in her life—that had made relationships with men feel irrelevant to her.

The only man who had ever stirred her emotions, though, was Seo Jaehee.

‘He’s the only one for me, too.’

Maybe… maybe he was her first love as well.

Maybe they…

“And that’s why I can’t understand your feelings.”

Suin pushed the surge of emotions back behind a locked door, suppressing them with force.

Because once these feelings faded, as they inevitably would, they’d leave behind nothing but scars on her heart, like shallow puddles evaporating in the sun.

“My feelings haven’t changed. I told you ten years ago, didn’t I? No. I don’t want you.”

“That was a lie.”

“Why would I lie to you?”

“I don’t know why. But your eyes were lying.”

“What do you mean you know that?”

“Because you looked like you were about to cry.”

Suin flinched.

Seo Jaehee never missed a thing.

She had thought she had deceived him well, but once again, he had seen right through her.

Because, back then, she really had wanted to cry.

And he had noticed.

“I don’t want to talk about the past. I’ve already given you my answer. Respect it and stay in your lane.”

“What was your answer again?”

“You forgot?”

“Yeah.”

“I told you—I have someone else.”

“And it’s not Baek Ihyeon, is it?”

“It is Baek Ihyeon.”

“Hmm.”

“Do you want me to say it again? Baek Ihyeon and I have mutual feelings for each other!”

Her firm insistence was met with an unexpected reaction—a brief, almost mocking chuckle.

His sudden laughter felt ominous.

Shouldn’t he be angry?

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because of you.”

“When have I ever been funny?”

“You are. Very.”

Confused, she demanded an answer, but Jaehee, his faint smirk lingering, replied with his usual arrogance.

“Honestly, Lee Suin, you’re surprisingly sloppy.”

“What…?”

“You give me all these hints, but you expect me not to figure it out?”

“What are you talking about—”

Before she could finish, Jaehee stepped closer, his eyes flashing with a sudden intensity.

“Saying you have mutual feelings means you’re not actually together.”

What?

“It means nothing has happened between the two of you—yet.”

Ah.

She had made a fatal mistake.

The word “mutual feelings” implied nothing concrete, no definitive relationship. By saying that, she had essentially revealed that her position was still open.

“In other words, Baek Ihyeon and I are starting from the same place.”

Jaehee’s lips curved into a dark smile, his gaze sharp and predatory.

“No, that’s not right.”

Before she could respond, he growled his next words, low and dangerous.

“I’m starting first.”

Without warning, his large hand gripped the back of her neck and pulled her forward.

And then, his lips crushed hers.