A Madman in Love

Whoosh—

The night breeze brushed against Suin’s face as she stepped off the bus from the rear exit. Despite it being nighttime, the air was oppressively warm.

"Phew."

Suin exhaled a short sigh and swept her short hair back with one hand.

Though cutting her hair had been prompted by Seo Jaehee, she was glad she had done it.

Her friends said it suited her, and it did feel refreshing.

"Is he here? What about Seo Jaehee?"

As she turned into the alleyway, voices suddenly emerged from the shadows.

Suin instinctively froze mid-step, catching sight of a group of unruly boys loitering ahead.

"He’s just up there."
"Alone?"
"Yeah."

Suin quickly pieced things together and hastened her pace, moving away from the murmuring boys.

"Let’s go. Let’s beat that bastard to a pulp."

She heard their footsteps behind her. Though her ears twitched at their movement, her body remained composed as she walked ahead calmly.

What kind of trouble has he gotten into this time?

Cursing him silently, Suin rounded the corner, and there he was.

"Lee Suin."

The source of her irritation, Seo Jaehee, appeared in front of her.

"Gah!"

Suin nearly yelped in shock.

If Jaehee and the boys behind her crossed paths, she couldn’t even imagine the chaos that would ensue. Without thinking, she pushed Jaehee square in the chest, forcing him into the cover of the trees lining the street.

"What are you—"

"Shh."

She silenced him with her hand over his mouth, glaring at him.

"What the hell are you doing this time?"

She felt a surge of irritation, though it wasn’t clear whether it was directed at Jaehee or herself.

Even now, amidst this chaos, her instincts to protect him—this guy who was twice her size—were taking over.

"You idiot! Seo Jaehee isn’t here!"

"Nothing down there either?"
"Shit, no. You guys were too slow, and now he’s gone!"

The boys sprinted down the wide, paved path of the Hyesung estate entrance, glancing around without suspicion. They reached the grand gate and began inspecting the premises.

"Whoa, this place is huge."
"Is this where that rich family lives? Looks like a park beyond the gate."

Noticing the motion-detecting CCTV cameras, the group retreated, muttering among themselves.

Hidden in the shadowy grove, Suin and Jaehee remained undetected.

As the boys’ footsteps faded, Suin finally exhaled in relief.

"They’re gone."

Calming her racing nerves, she lowered the hand that had been covering Jaehee’s mouth.

"Lee Suin."

Jaehee’s voice, low and soft, came from just above her head.

Suin glanced up indifferently.

His sharp jawline was inches from her forehead, and above it, his black eyes gazed down at her, dark and unreadable.

In that moment, as her eyes met his deep, fathomless gaze, Jaehee spoke.

"I like you."

He paused briefly, then added, "I love you."

His voice was heavy with longing, a raw plea for her to look at him, to see him.

"..."

Suin froze.

For a moment, it felt as though time, space, and every thought and sensation within her had come to a standstill.

"Lee Suin."

Jaehee called her name again, lifting his hand to rest it on her shoulder.

His palm was warm, his touch gentle, as though trying to thaw her frozen state.

But instead of comfort, a shiver ran down her spine.

Goosebumps rose on her shoulder and crept up her neck, a mixture of dread and excitement that made her heart race.

Suddenly, Suin was scared.

She was terrified of herself—of how her body and heart seemed to be drawn entirely toward him.

That fear spurred a defiant reaction.

She roughly shoved Jaehee’s hand away and bolted out of the grove.

"Hey! Lee Suin!"

Grinding her teeth, Suin sped up, practically running.

"Suin!"

The sound of Jaehee chasing her made her sprint even faster.

"Hey!"

"Shut up!"

She shouted at the top of her lungs, her harsh tone startling Jaehee into stopping in his tracks.

Perhaps he mistook it for outright rejection. Whatever he thought, Suin didn’t care.

She dashed through the gates of the Hyesung estate, running along the long garden path until she reached the annex and locked herself inside her room.

"Hah… Hah…"

Her ragged breaths were deafening in the silence of her room.

She wanted to tear her pounding heart out of her chest.

"Shit, Seo Jaehee."

Love?

What did he know about love?

What the hell does a seventeen-year-old like him know about the weight of responsibility that comes with love?

"Forget it. I’ll just forget it."

Suin forced herself to steady her breath, grabbed her bag, and began organizing her notes and assignments.

But as she stared down at her math book, an unbidden thought crept into her mind.

The love equation Einstein had once written about.

―Love = 2□ + 2△ + 2● + 2V + 8＜

―A heart reluctantly turns back to a path it cannot tread, full of longing for the journey it must take. Even when it knows the path is forbidden, the irresistible pull to follow it—that is love.

At seventeen, Suin pondered the concept.

Seo Jaehee.

Do you even understand what it means to long for something?

***

Recalling how dismissive she had been of Jaehee’s first confession, Suin let out a dry laugh.

She, too, had been nothing but a child.

Having everything or getting what you want easily doesn’t necessarily mean someone lacks longing or desire.

Still, the question lingered.

Did Seo Jaehee truly feel that longing?

Ping!

As Suin emerged from the subway station onto the street, her phone buzzed with messages. It was Miju, still pressing her questions.

Thinking it might be best to offer just enough to satisfy her curiosity, Suin replied.

Miju: Did you see Seo Jaehee?
Suin: I did.
Miju: What’s he like at thirty? I bet he’s ridiculously sexy. He was already sexy at eighteen.

The image of Jaehee from earlier that day came to Suin’s mind with startling clarity.

Miju was right. The thirty-year-old Seo Jaehee was dangerously sexy, leaving an indelible impression that refused to fade.

Miju: Well?

Suin couldn’t help but recall his solid frame, the slow, deliberate sensuality he exuded, and the intense, almost suffocating gaze he had fixed on her.

Suin: The same.

She shook her head, trying to dispel the vivid memory, but Miju’s excited reply came almost instantly.

Miju: The same? Now I really want to see him.
Suin: Why would you?

That damned “Soo-chin-nom.”

Suin: Stop it. It’s childish.

Though her response carried a scolding tone, Suin’s gaze grew shadowed.

She had only pretended not to notice.

It wasn’t possible to be oblivious.

Even the stillest lake in the deepest forest ripples when touched by the faintest breeze.

Smiling to herself at the thought, Suin sent a laughing emoji in reply.

Miju, you really are my friend.

***

*Eighteen Year Old: Jaehee and Suin*

"I love you, Lee Suin."

Seo Jaehee was a man of action.

After his first confession, he seized every opportunity to declare his love.

Whenever, wherever, and as often as he could, he repeated it like a mantra.

"I love you! Lee Suin!"

Suin, however, tuned him out completely.@@novelbin@@

She might as well have paid attention to cawing crows flying overhead before sparing a glance at the boy shouting his love for her.

"Seo Jaehee loves Lee Suin."
"Suin, why don’t you date him?"
"Doesn’t your heart flutter? He’s so crazy about you!"

Although she didn’t dislike school, there were many days she wished she didn’t have to go.

Jaehee, acting like the protagonist of the world, had turned her life into a spectacle. Curiosity, questions, even envy followed her everywhere.

And sometimes, outright harassment.

"Look at her acting all high and mighty."
"She’s playing Seo Jaehee like a fiddle while flirting with Baek Ihyun."

The criticism often stemmed from the audacity of her ignoring someone as "great" as Seo Jaehee.

"Why does it matter if Suin doesn’t accept Jaehee? She has her reasons!"

When the attacks went too far, it was Miju who always stepped in, her anger blazing as she defended Suin.

And it was always Suin who pulled her back, telling her to let it go.

One day, Miju asked her a question.

"Be honest. Do you really have no feelings for him, or are you just pretending?"

"I don’t."

Suin answered firmly.

At least, she thought she didn’t.

Unbeknownst to her conscious mind, she had felt a secret thrill at Jaehee’s devotion, and she had stolen glances at him when no one was looking.

But she hadn’t realized it. Not until her other best friend, Yoo Ahjin, brought it up.

"Suin, you value friendship over love, right? If the two overlap, you’d choose friendship, wouldn’t you?"

"Of course. Friendship comes first."

"Then help me out. I really like Seo Jaehee."