Chapter 593
Chapter 593
The ride back had been rather uneventful.
I was constantly looking back to see the people following us. Or rather to see if I could get the people that should be following us.
To my utter confusion, I couldn't see anyone.
It made no sense, surely; they would have people following us, right? They wouldn't just let us leave like that for no reason.
In Agent Coulson's shoes, well, it should have been obvious that I and Thor were the worst kind of 'prisoners' to interrogate. Me, who just spouted off random bullshit, and Thor, who sounded like he was a bit challenged. In response, and giving it some thought, letting us 'go free' and then watching our every move might give them better insights.
But I can't find anything.
Maybe I was becoming far too invested, but it was now eating away at me.
Regardless, we got back to town quickly, but I didn't recognize the immediate area. Not surprising considering I didn't really explore it. I mean, it was a town with probably a few thousand people; it wasn't tiny, but it was small enough that you could honestly get by without a car. Which says something, considering this is the states.
The ride, though, had been rather quiet. The older man who 'rescued' me had only glanced at me a few times from his rearview mirror.
Obvious suspicion is obvious.
We finally pulled up to a brick building; it could be a loft or it could be an office; I honestly couldn't tell.
But I followed them in getting out of the car, taking my first breath of freedom. It was my first time getting properly arrested!
"Erik!" Two women ran out of the building nearly as soon as we stepped out. Though, their immediate attention landed on someone else. "Thor!" One of the girls exclaimed, running up to him as if to see he was okay.
"I am unharmed, Lady Jane." Thor smiled rather coolly.
"What were you thinking!?" She hit his shoulder once, then a few more times. "You said you wanted to 'investigate,' not rush in and start attacking people!" She hit him a few more times.
"Aye, I apologize for worrying you, Lady Jane." He just nodded his head, seemingly knowing how to navigate having her angry and hitting him.
He must be in this kind of situation a lot.
"Why do you have a bunch of dicks drawn on your face?" The other girl next to them asked.
"....I was going to ask that next." The one named Jane also added.
Thor blinked, walking over to the car, and adjusted the side mirror to get a look at his face. He then snapped his head over to me, and if looks could kill.
"Who…are you exactly?" The girl named Jane looked at me, and they all sort of looked at my name.
"Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg, at your service." I politely introduce myself.
"Oh, that's posh." The other girl commented. "And charming, do you do that to every girl you meet? Also, I'm Darcy, 23, a senior at Culver University. I'm single, I like my coffee with three shots of milk, and my phone number is—"
"Darcy!" Jane smacked her arm.
"What!?" She rubbed the part on her arm that was just hit. "Why am I not allowed to score with the handsome guy? Are you calling dibs on this one too?"
"Darcy!"
She's fun.
"Keep your distance, Lady Darcy; this is no man!" Thor stepped between him. "This is the foulest of creatures in the universe. You stand before a demon."
They both peeked out from behind him.
"Are all demons hot?" She asked.
"Thor, you can't just go around calling people like that." Jane sighed, pushing past him. "I'm sorry, he's just…adapting to our country. Don't take it personally."
"It's fine; I've met racists before." I shrugged. "Nice to meet you…"
"Jane Foster." She shook my extended hand, giving a glare at Thor as he tried to stop her. "Miss Foster." I nodded. "And Darcy…?"
"Darcy Lewis." She waved.
"Nice to meet you both." I smiled.
"Let's stop causing a scene on the street." Erik seemed to usher both the girls inside. "Let's talk inside."
It seemed like Thor was still trying to keep me away from them strangely. Even though he was the one who…well, he sort of 'invited' me for lack of a better word. I looked around as we walked up the stairs and into a loft-like space, and it was…well…. "Did you get robbed?"
Several of them shot me looks like I wasn't wrong.
"The government spooks came." Darcy said rather casually. "I'm not even going to get my college credits now."
"I think this is a little more important than your college credits." Jane sighed. "My life's work was all taken without even a word I could say."
"It's alright, Jane." Erik put a hand on her shoulder. "We can start fresh. It just proves you were on the right track."
"It took me years to build up to where I was." She threw her hands up. "Now, I have no equipment. No notes, no... nothing." She flung her hand, gesturing to a whiteboard. "That's all I could remember off the top of my head, just the original formula I used, and it's not even complete. I can't remember the rest, and it's going to take me probably a year to do the proper tests to note it down again."
I looked at the whiteboard and was seemingly ignored as I looked at it.
Huh, it's not bad.
Funny it is that I'm actually an expert in this kind of thing. My Magic uses similar calculations to actualize that I may as well be an expert in theoretical astrophysics even if I have no real schooling for it.
"What about you, muscle man? Heard you went all Rambo on the goons; did you punch any of them in the face?" Darcy asked Thor.
"That's right." Thor said proudly. "It will do you well to know that many of their number had fallen to my might."
"Even if that does make me feel better, you can't just—" Her words stopped. "What are you doing!?" She shot up from her seat from the corner of my eye, basically running at me.
I held the marker in my hand, and I had already erased her calculations. "Fixing this for you."
"That's, you erased it… I did that when it was still fresh in my mind; I don't even remember it now…." She looked distraught.
"It was flawed." I replied. "It looks like you were doing work on calculating the trajectory of a rogue Einstein-Rosen Bridge." Also known as a wormhole. But in more laymen's terms, a portal. Basically, what I do on a daily basis. The light that whisked Jeanne away, that was essentially the same thing in application. Probably what she was noticing before anyways. She didn't stop me as I began writing, filling up the whiteboard with various calculations.
"There were a few pieces I didn't have context for. I assume you had specialized equipment that you included, in which case, this is the most basic formula that you can tweak, and it should save you quite a bit of time. But otherwise, you didn't account for certain things like gravitational anomalies through higher and lower dimensions. And your numbers when accounting for the universal curve were off by a bit; I fixed that. Otherwise, it was mostly just a few minor fixes and things you just didn't know about. Honestly, it was very impressive you got as far as you did." I twirled the marker once in my hand before setting it down.
Everyone was staring at me like I had three heads.
"What?" I looked back at them.
".....You're actually an astrophysicist?" Erik blinked.
"...Why did you think I would make something like that up?" I questioned. That seems like something silly to just blatantly lie about.
"To be fair, you drew dicks on Thor's face. I've known you for like five minutes, and I'm surprised." Darcy casually added.
Okay, maybe that's a fair assumption.
Some rando that they know nothing about except he drew on Thor's face waltzes in and fixes a rather important formula; I suppose I could see it.
Jane was just staring at it wide-eyed.
I don't think she blinked once.
"Hey, how about you take a picture of it this time?" Darcy told her. "You know, in case another random person comes up and erases it again."
"Y-yeah." Jane nodded absentmindedly, fumbling out her phone and snapping a picture.
Well, Erik wasn't looking at me like I might try to wear their faces at the first opportunity now.
"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly…" I gestured to Thor and them and the room. "How did all this happen?"
Darcy laughed and kept going. "It was weird, a bunch of lights, a freak storm. Anyways, not our fault. Drop him off at the hospital; shit accidentally hit him again. Next thing I know, Jane drove him out to the desert to break into a government facility, and Thor threw hands with a bunch of spooks."
"Oh, I got this!" Darcy quickly spoke up. "So we drive out to the desert because Jane thinks there's something special going on, and she hits Thor with her car—"
"Nice." I shot her a thumbs up.
"Hey!" Thor huffed.
Darcy laughed and kept going. "It was weird, a bunch of lights, a freak storm. Anyways, not our fault. Drop him off at the hospital; shit accidentally hit him again. Next thing I know, Jane drove him out to the desert to break into a government facility, and Thor threw hands with a bunch of spooks."
"....right." I was still utterly confused but could piece some things together.
Thor said he got banished; did they quite literally run into him as he was thrown down here?
Hmm.
That begs a question. "What exactly were you guys chasing out here in the first place?" Because it seems unlikely they were spamming that big rainbow light—oh right, that should be the Bifrost—enough that Jane here was able to fucking calculate its trajectory.
"It's part of Jane's research." Erik answered, crossing his arms. "She was trying to verify a certain cosmic phenomenon that her instruments were picking up."
Hmm.
I rubbed my chin, giving it some thought. "Hey Thor, have you heard of the convergence?"
Thor blinked for a moment, eyes lighting up. "You believe…?"
"Probably." I shrugged.
The Ancient One spoke about the convergence. Perhaps Jane was able to notice the phenomena happening in other places, feeling the proverbial aftershocks because the 'realms' were thinning.
I guess it doesn't matter.
She's pretty much a genius for being able to do so.
"What's the convergence?" Darcy asked. "It sounds like a bad band name."
"Tis a once-in-a-ten-thousand-year phenomenon when various cosmic bodies align. I know not the details, only hearing stories from my parents." Thor said rather vaguely. "...Right, that doesn't sound sketchy as hell." She snorted. "Do you also do horoscopes? I'm a Leo, by the way."
"Darcy, why don't you go get some coffee for everyone." Erik took out his wallet, handing her a few bills.
"Aight, but I'm pocketing the change." She grabbed it, happily walking out the door.
That got a small chuckle from me.
It seemed like Jane finally broke from her stupor. "Thank you, this means a lot to me. I think… I can probably rebuild from here and save a long time." She said towards me.
"It's fine." I waved it off. What was a few seconds of effort from me meant the world to someone else. I would have to be several kinds of an asshole to just ignore that.
"And you!" Jane walked up, grabbing Thor's collar. "You promised me to get my research back. You said if you got this 'Magic Hammer' of yours…and…god, why did I believe something so stupid?" She let him go, sighing. "You have a lot of explaining to do!" She poked him a few times.
Thor, despite her anger, smiled happily.
Huh, was I watching a bit of romance in the making?
"The demon can vouch for me, Lady Jane. My hammer was stolen before I arrived, but it was there, I swear it as the God of Thunder." Thor spoke righteously.
"I feel like it's kind of racist that he keeps calling me that." "Why do you keep calling him that, Thor?"
"Because he is a demon!"
"Is it because I'm Asian?" I threw it out.
"Jesus, Thor. Are you seriously calling him that because he's Asian?" Jane's eyes widened.
"No! Absolutely not, I am not against any race!" Thor quickly defended himself. "I know not these' 'Asians, but I assure you, I have no hatred against any race!"
"Except me apparently." I crossed my arms.
"Demons do not count!" Thor grunted.
"Okay, mister small spear." I rolled my eyes.
"...small spear?" Jane asked.
"It's nothing!" Thor tried to interject. "I assure you, it is false, though. Whoever spoke of my name meaning such was incorrect. I do not have a small spear; it is mighty and satisfying for all who have beheld it."
"...." Jane looked at him and scrunched her nose.
"I mean… I did not mean it that way…" He fumbled.
Heh.
Where did you get your credentials?" Erik asked, coming back after looking at the whiteboard. "Our community isn't very large; I would have thought I'd recognize you if you were one of us."
"Credentials?"
"You…have credentials, right?"
"....."
"...Where did you go to school?"
"...high school?"
Erik opened his mouth and closed it again. "Did you not go to college?"
"I don't think there is any college that would take someone who dropped out of high school." Erik let out a noise and rubbed the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. He didn't ask me any questions after that.
"Okay, I don't care what education you have. I could tell with just a few looks that you weren't just making things up. But aside from that, why…where did you even come from?" Jane asked rather pointedly. "What were you doing in that government building?"
"I was arrested." I admitted it.
"...seriously?"
"Ask Thor; he was there. Though he may not remember, he got tased…a lot." "I did not wet myself!" Thor quickly declared. "Do not believe his lies." He raised a hand, pointing at me. "Demons are known for spreading falsehoods."
"Why am I in the middle of this big mess?" She sighed. "Was he telling the truth? Was there this 'magic hammer' there?"
"Jane, you can't believe—"
"Erik." She cut him off. "You always told me about uncovering every possibility."
"I didn't mean something insane like a magic hammer, like gods and…actual magic. Jane, Thor is a story I was told in my childhood. That's it, stories." Erik threw his hands up in exasperation. "It's nonsense."
Thor looked at me with genuinely pleading eyes.
Wow, he really cared about this, didn't he? The fact that he called me a demon and kept throwing out insults, yet said I would vouch for him.
He's really an idiot, isn't he?
And again, I felt like he was actually really young, nothing like the Thor I knew back home.
It felt like I walked right into the middle of a drama with only the vaguest idea of what was going on. "So to summarize what's happened. You were chasing a strange astrological phenomenon, drove into the middle of the desert, and hit him." I pointed to Thor.
"That's…accurate." She pursed her lips. "And he was naked."
".....Is that part important?"
She blushed a little.
Thor seemed proud of her visual response.
"Right, so you ran over a naked Thor in the middle of the desert. Then, the government comes and confiscates your research and all of your devices that go along with it?"
"Basically, yeah." Jane grumbled.
"Then…this idiot decides to storm into the government building…?" I jabbed my thumb at Thor. "And he apparently had your help…?"
Jane awkwardly looked away. "We heard something about a satellite crash, then a bunch of locals were talking about a Hammer. Thor got all freaked out and wanted to run right over. After my stuff got taken, I decided to help him because he promised to get it all back after he got his 'Magic Hammer.'"
Wow, she definitely has a big crush on him, doesn't she? Otherwise, that's a bunch of malarky that a reasonable person shouldn't believe at all.
Right, I basically got down what's been going on.
No wonder the Ancient One called this a clusterfuck.
And due to my actions, Jeanne accidentally grabbed the hammer first and was whisked away to Asgard. "I'm with Erik; this sounds kind of absurd when you say it out loud." I was the magical half-devil, part god, part dragon, and even I found the whole thing rather nonsensical from her perspective. "However…Thor is speaking the truth. There was a hammer there not long before he came."
Technically, I was his uncle; I couldn't just let him flounder like this when both of them are so obviously shooting those looks at each other.
"See!" Thor exclaimed proudly. "I was speaking the truth."
"I…tentatively believe you for now." Jane settled on.
Erik seemed to sigh, not even bothering anymore.
I felt a little bit of pity for him. It was hard for some people to acknowledge the supernatural side of the world, especially when there was a lack of evidence.
"Hey guys, I'm back." Darcy came in, holding a thing of coffee. "Since nobody told me what they wanted, I just picked things I liked, so if you don't like them, then I just get extra." She set them down on the desk. "Wonderful, this…coffee, a good drink to celebrate with!" Thor was obviously in a good mood.
I shrugged; there was one there for me too, so I took it. I wouldn't pass up free coffee. However, I looked at Darcy strangely because she held a plastic water bottle over my hand and spilled it intentionally.
It only took a fraction of a second for me to jerk my hand back, letting out a hiss. "Motherfucker!" I unintentionally blurted out and grabbed at my own hand.
Jesus, it felt like my hand was put in a hot stove for a second. Like…there was no actual damage; my skin wasn't even red, but it fucking stung a surprising amount.
Conceptual weakness is bullshit; even if I wasn't actually harmed, it hurt.
"Darcy, what the hell!?" Jane was the first to react. "What did you do!?"
She tilted her head rather oddly, looking at the bottle in her hands. "There's a church down the street; I slipped them a tenner if they'd give me some holy water. The priest there looked at me like I was crazy, but he did a whole blessing thing on my water bottle."
"...wait…" Jane's eyes widened when she looked at me. "Is he actually a demon?"
"Hah, I told you!" Thor exclaimed loudly.
Even Erik looked at me with eyes wide, stunned into silence.
"Did you throw holy water at me?" I looked at her incredulously.
"He called you a demon; I was curious." Darcy seemed utterly unfazed and just shrugged. "Didn't think it'd work."
I've never had someone throw holy water at me before. Shit, I didn't even know holy water could harm me.
Well…technically it didn't.
There was a sort of autonomous portion to it that would flare up by itself when I was in danger. But it didn't even flare up the slightest amount.
Strange.
An actual devil, their skin would have been burnt and seared just from touching it. Mine just stung a surprising amount, but there was no actual damage.
Does…my Aura not recognize that as harmful? There was a sort of autonomous portion to it that would flare up by itself when I was in danger. But it didn't even flare up the slightest amount.
Strange.
Motherfucker, it still stung.
Who just goes and gets holy water on a random whim!?
Conceptual weakness can kiss my ass. Damn, it brought back bad memories from when I got stabbed by that crazy exorcist.
It doesn't really sting anymore, but I'm still annoyed!
"You realize this could have gone really badly for you, right?" I looked at her in disbelief.
"Yeah, hindsight is 20/20." Darcy nodded. "Are you going to take my soul now? Just so you know, I look really good in chains, and I could totally rock a collar."
I grabbed the bottle of water out of her hand and splashed it onto her face until it was empty.
".....Alright, I kind of deserved that." She wiped away the dripping water.
"A-are we just going to ignore this?" Jane looked around. "Jesus Christ, are you really a demon?'
"I told you! I am Thor, God of Thunder; I do not lie!" "Except about your spear." I said offhandedly.
"My spear is not small, and I will take my pants off to prove it!"
I let out a groan because this was not a conversation I wanted to have. I frowned because out of the corner of my eye, I felt someone staring at me, and it got my attention because it wasn't coming from the people in the room.
I glanced out the nearby window as they were shouting among themselves here, thinking it may be one of those Shield guys keeping tabs, but it was someone else. They noticed my gaze immediately and started walking away.
How did I know they weren't with the government?
Well, because the person was wearing those same 'beads' as the ones from Wakandans.
Isn't that interesting?
@***@
A/N
I also have a boosty if you can't use the above under the same name.
What do you think?
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