An Unexpected Proposal

May 14, 2020

"You're here first."

Cabelenus noticed Alicia sitting at the restaurant and approached her.

"Did you arrive already?"
Alicia sprang up, like a dog welcoming its owner. Although they hadn’t been apart for long, there was an odd emptiness now that they were distanced. Moreover, thanks to Lady Morco’s help, Alicia was dressed up and couldn’t help but feel somewhat expectant of Cabelenus' reaction.

"We should eat right away, you're probably hungry."
Contrary to Alicia’s expectations, Cabelenus merely sat down with an indifferent expression. Alicia hesitated for a moment, then sat down beside him. Even as the food was being served, she kept sneaking glances, but Cabelenus appeared unbothered.

"I’m not sure if the food here will suit your taste."
"It’s fine."
"Unlike the South, the North doesn’t use many spices, so it might seem a little bland to you."
"I see."

"Alicia."
"Yes, yes… ah."
Alicia, who had been responding mechanically, awkwardly smiled as she felt his gaze on her face. Cabelenus tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes, staring at her.

"What are you thinking?"
"Well…"

A blush spread across Alicia’s pale cheeks. She wanted to say she was hoping for a compliment, but it was too embarrassing to admit.

"Say it."
"...Do I really have to say it?"

"If you want me to judge your thoughts however I like, then by all means."
Cabelenus gave a slight nod. Alicia was at a loss for what to do, her lips moving but no words coming out as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"...I thought you'd tell me I looked different."
"..."

"I’m embarrassed, but… I thought maybe I was a bit prettier."
Once again, it felt shameful to say such words. Alicia couldn’t bring herself to look up, instead poking at the vegetables on her plate with her fork.

"I’ve never told anyone they were pretty."
"Yes, I suppose not."
Alicia nodded enthusiastically, but the reply seemed to irritate Cabelenus. He furrowed his brow slightly and spoke again.

"Really."
"Yes."
"..."

"..."

But that wasn’t a very good response. Seeing Alicia lower her head more, the crease in Cabelenus’ forehead deepened. He hesitated for a moment, then spoke again.

"...I’ve thought about kissing you."
"Excuse me?"

Alicia froze mid-bite, and though she could still feel his intense gaze, she couldn’t bring herself to look up.

"And it bothered me."
Cabelenus nodded slowly. The dress that gently revealed his form suited Alicia, but the thought of others possibly thinking the same made him feel uneasy. When he first met her, she had been a woman so plain that no one would have looked at her, but that was no longer the case. It wasn’t just a feeling—it was a deeper unease.

"So… should I not wear it next time?"
The heat surged up, then quickly subsided. Alicia startled, lifting her head in reflex.

"No. Wear it if you want. That’s not something I’ll interfere with."
"But you said it bothered you."
"It did. But that’s my thought. It’s not yours."
"I don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable."
She didn’t want to be hated. She wanted to stay in his presence. Alicia gazed at him with longing.

"I don’t like when others look at you."
"Excuse me?"
"I wouldn’t mind keeping you locked away and only letting me see you."
"..."

"Would you follow my wishes just because I said I was bothered by it?"
Cabelenus raised his chin slightly. Beneath the shimmering chandelier, his sharp eyes looked predatory, like a wild beast ready to pounce.

"I just…"
"Giving you orders is easy, but that’s not what I want. I want you to be someone who can choose and make decisions on your own."
"Why?"
"Because I miss you."
Cabelenus revealed his hidden feelings as he gently touched his chin. What he wanted wasn’t an obedient slave, but an equal partner—his wife. A noblewoman who everyone admired, someone to hold a position of high esteem without question. Cabelenus was going to elevate Alicia to his own level.

"The reason I don’t like that dress is because I thought, now others will think you’re pretty, too."
"But you’ve never said I was pretty…"
Just as the heat had seemed to fade, it surged again. Alicia stammered, unsure of what she was even saying.

"I said I never said it, but I didn’t say I wouldn’t say it."
"..."

At this rate, her heart might just burst. Alicia stared at him, dazed, before quickly bowing her head. She feared she couldn’t hide her bright red face unless she did so. She fiddled nervously with her fingers beneath the table before finally nodding.

"...I will wear it."
She didn’t know how long she had debated before saying those words. Alicia cautiously lifted her face and looked at Cabelenus. Despite his rather unpleasant words, he didn’t seem upset at all.

"Okay. Do as you wish."
He replied indifferently, cutting into his meat. Alicia glanced at him a few more times before finally picking up her utensils. There were many pieces of cutlery, but there was no need to worry about how to use them. Cabelenus had started eating slowly, and following his movements wasn’t difficult.

***

"Did I do it right?"
"You got the answer right, but just now, Miss, you used formal language again."
"Oh, sorry, I mean… my bad."
"It’s fine. It’s hard to change everything at once. You’re doing well, so don’t be too hard on yourself."
Lady Morco smiled gently as she set down her teacup.

"But I really want to do well."
Alicia laughed awkwardly as she placed her teacup down, following her lead. It was still difficult for her to lower her voice without making it obvious, but learning new things always felt fascinating and fun. She couldn’t help but feel a little excited.

"Don’t worry, you’re doing well. It’s not something you can rush. If the formal language really bothers you, you can try again later."

“…Is it okay?”

Alicia knew that the more she practiced speaking, the more natural it would become, but Lady Morco was a noblewoman and much older than Alicia. Even though she was used to being aware of her social position, it was still difficult for Alicia to speak casually, especially when addressing someone of higher rank.

“Of course. If it’s uncomfortable for you, you can speak when you feel more at ease. After all, you’ve only just arrived in Schwarhan. I understand that getting used to a new environment can be exhausting. You don’t need to rush.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. It is my job to look after your well-being.”

After a light reply, Lady Morco instructed Sirin to bring over the candy jar. Once their lessons were over, Lady Morco always made sure to give Alicia a piece of candy.

“Thank you for your hard work today. That will be all for today’s lesson.”

“Are you giving me candy again today?”

“It’s a sweet bribe, a reward.”

Lady Morco used a small tongs to take a candy from the glass jar. The candy, made by the Schwarhan mansion’s chef, was sweet and sour. Over time, Alicia had grown so accustomed to the taste that just seeing the jar would make her mouth water.

“A bribe?”

“The effort may not always be visible, so it’s easy to feel disappointed. But the sweetness that spreads in your mouth is something you can feel immediately.”

Lady Morco smiled as she handed Alicia the candy. As soon as Alicia put it in her mouth, the sweetness immediately filled her senses.

“That’s true.”

“If you find learning difficult, just think of the sweetness of this candy. Even if there are hard moments, once you have what you want, it will be even sweeter than this candy.”

What she wanted. Alicia felt the candy melting on her tongue and thought of the man she imagined was now flipping through papers. She knew that some things couldn’t be achieved with effort alone, but there was only one thing she wanted.

“Oh, and as I mentioned last time, a guest is expected to visit today.”

“Do I need to get fitted for clothes again?”

“Clothes? No. The guest visiting you today isn’t a tailor, but a painter.”

“A painter?”@@novelbin@@

Alicia’s eyes widened.

“Yes, he’s actually one of the most famous emerging painters in Schwarhan. It seems there was some misunderstanding while I was passing along the message.”

“A painter is coming to see me?”

“I was told that he intends to repaint a portrait you have. Is that not the case?”

At that moment, Alicia’s body stiffened. She only had one painting.

“I haven’t seen it myself, but I’ve heard that the painter is very good at portraits,” Lady Morco continued.

The mention of portraits made Alicia even more certain. She clenched her fists, thinking of Cabelenus. Since returning to Schwarhan, he had been incredibly busy. He had worked day and night to make up for the time he had been away. They could rarely dine together, and most of the time, they only saw each other briefly at night. But a painter? Alicia hadn’t even considered the possibility, and it made her throat tighten.

“Being a new painter doesn’t necessarily mean he’s unreliable, but his skill is certainly solid. So don’t worry too much.”

“…”

“Portraits are tricky, aren’t they? Everyone has different tastes, and especially the people being painted want to look as good as possible. But if they’re too idealized, they’ll get upset if it doesn’t look like them. Still, I’ve heard that everyone who has had their portrait painted by this man has praised his work.”

Lady Morco, misunderstanding Alicia’s expression, quickly began praising the painter’s skill. However, Alicia wasn’t listening. Her mind was consumed with other thoughts.

“If you’re really uncomfortable, should we just not call him?”

“What?”

“If you don’t like the painter…”

“No!”

Alicia exclaimed hurriedly, snapping back to attention. After swallowing quickly, she continued.

“No! It’s not that I don’t like him at all!”

She knew that she couldn’t compare the painting she owned to one done by a skilled artist. She had heard that a good portrait painter could make their subjects look as though they were alive. She didn’t want to miss the opportunity to see her mother again.

“You don’t have to be in such a hurry. If there’s anything you don’t want, we won’t do it. Relax.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to apologize to me. Just give your orders. ‘Bring the painter.’ That’s all.”

Lady Morco appeared kind, but there was a clear distinction between their ranks. Alicia swallowed nervously as she glanced at Lady Morco, who was waiting for her command.

“Bring the painter. And bring my portrait too.”

“Yes, of course.”

Lady Morco smiled, then called for Cizna and Sirin. Shortly after, a young man carrying a painter’s kit entered the room.

“Good afternoon. I’m the painter James Nixon.”

The man with silver hair bowed politely to Alicia. At that moment, a heavy silence filled the room.

He was so beautiful that it took Alicia’s breath away. His hair was tied simply, and the cuffs of his old shirt gave no hint of vanity, yet his handsome face was flawless—perfect, in fact. Looking at him almost made Alicia wonder if she was dreaming.

“Nice to meet you.”

Alicia smiled first, unbothered by his appearance, unlike the others in the room.

“I’m honored to meet you as well. If it’s alright with you, may I address you as ‘miss’?”

After setting down his art supplies, James noticed that Lady Morco and the maids were regaining their composure. They quickly hid their surprise, but their earlobes were faintly red.

“Yes. That’s how everyone else calls me, so you may too.”

“…”

“What’s the matter?”

“Miss, he’s not a noble.”

Lady Morco whispered in a voice low enough for only Alicia to hear.

“Then how should I address him…”

“Just use his first or last name. No need for honorifics.”

“Oh, right. I understand, no… I understand.”

Alicia firmly composed herself, then turned back to look at James. With a face full of tension, she cautiously parted her lips. Up until now, all the people she had met had been connected to Cabelenus, but James was different. It was only natural that she would feel a bit nervous.