An Unexpected Proposal

May 25, 2020

"Greetings, Your Grace. My name is James Nixon."

James quickly bowed with proper etiquette before Cabelenus.

"I see."@@novelbin@@

Cabelenus gave a small nod in acknowledgment. Even as he did so, his hand remained firmly wrapped around Alicia’s shoulder.

"If you're going to continue the lesson, do it indoors."

Alicia is sensitive to the cold, after all. Cabelenus added the remark but inwardly clicked his tongue. It was a ridiculous display of possessiveness, even to himself. A man as keen as he was instinctively wary of others eyeing what was his, beyond mere logic.

"I'm fine."

"The scenery in Schwarhan all looks the same anyway. Just go inside."

As if checking her temperature, the back of Cabelenus's hand brushed against Alicia's cheek. He had allowed the painting lessons so that she wouldn't grow bored, not to make her suffer.

"I suggested it because staying inside all the time was becoming stifling."

"……."

That simple complaint sent an odd chill through his heart. Cabelenus tightened his grip on Alicia’s shoulder.

"And I can't shiver in the cold forever. I need to get used to it."

Like the people of Schwarhan. Alicia swallowed back her words, forcing a smile. She didn't want Cabelenus to know she had yet to truly adapt to life here.

"You don’t need to get used to it."

"But being outside often has helped. I think I'm adjusting."

"You’re not adjusting. Your body is just getting numb."

Unable to bear it any longer, Cabelenus removed his coat and draped it over Alicia. The size difference caused the hem to trail along the ground, but he paid no mind, pulling it snugly around her. Caught off guard, Alicia blinked, now practically buried in the fabric.

"This is much better."

Unlike Alicia, who was visibly flustered, Cabelenus smirked in satisfaction.

"But now, Your Grace will be cold."

Alicia hurried to return the coat, but Cabelenus stopped her.

"Choose. Either go inside, or wear that."

His unwavering gaze left no room for negotiation. In the end, Alicia relented and turned to James.

"If it’s alright, shall we move the lesson indoors?"

"……."

"James?"

"Oh, of course."

James smiled at Alicia, but the expression quickly faded. As soon as Alicia and Cabelenus turned away, his smile disappeared entirely. He simply watched as the two figures grew more distant.

***

"So this is the finished painting. Well done. It seems you have a talent for this."

"Actually, James did most of the work. I barely contributed."

"……James again."

Cabelenus muttered under his breath, irritated at the name that resurfaced whenever he least expected it. It was just a name. Names existed to be spoken. He knew that logically, but his emotions refused to accept it.

"Pardon? What did you say just now?"

Alicia tilted her head in confusion. Without answering, Cabelenus pulled her hand toward him and pressed a light kiss to the soft skin of her inner wrist. A faint flush rose to her cheeks.

"Do you enjoy the painting lessons?"

"Actually, there’s something I need to discuss."

"What is it?"

"Now that my mother's portrait is complete, James's lessons should come to an end."

"……."

Cabelenus's head tilted slightly. He knew he was being childish, but he couldn't help himself. It irritated him—the way Alicia softly murmured another man's name.

"James is an excellent teacher. He’s kind, knowledgeable, and so—"

"And so?"

Cabelenus's piercing gaze made Alicia’s expression waver. But despite her nervousness, she didn’t stop speaking.

"I’d like to continue learning from him."

Of course, only if Your Grace permits. Her last words were so quiet they were barely audible, but Cabelenus heard them loud and clear.

"……Would that be alright?"

As silence stretched between them, Alicia bit down anxiously on her lower lip. Instead of answering, Cabelenus pressed his thumb against her lips.

"Don’t bite."

"……."

"There’s no need to be nervous."

"……."

"I'm in quite a good mood right now."

Alicia blinked slowly. It wasn’t her imagination—Cabelenus was definitely smiling.

"Having desires is a good thing."

"A good thing?"

"It means you’ve developed a sense of want. And once you want something, you start to crave it."

Those who desired much, those who had much, found it difficult to leave. His fingers gently brushed against her cheek.

"If there’s something you want, speak up. If it’s within my power, I’ll give it to you."

"……And what if you don’t know just how much I might end up wanting?"

Alicia exhaled softly.

"Hearing that only makes me more curious about the extent of your desires."

"……."

"Ask for anything. Keep demanding. I can give you more than you could ever imagine."

The man smirked, radiating unshakable confidence.

"I was only joking. I’m fine as I am."

"We’ll see. Human greed knows no end."

"Excessive desire always leads to ruin."

As time passed, Alicia became more certain of what she truly wanted. But that desire was reckless, something she could never bring herself to say out loud.

"It’s strange."

Cabelenus's fingers trailed down, lightly grazing the curve of her chin.

"What is?"

Alicia clenched her fists. If only he looked at her with cold indifference—it would be easier to stay guarded. But his leniency always left room for hesitation.

"I prefer rational, practical thinking. Yet, for some reason, I don’t like seeing that side of you."

"……."

"You could afford to be a little less restrained."

His golden eyes flickered as they studied her reaction. She was far better than before, but he still didn’t feel as though he had her entirely in his grasp.

"If you wish to continue the painting lessons, you may."

But it was only a matter of time. Cabelenus nodded slowly. He was a hunter who knew patience, but also a hound that never let go once it had sunk its teeth into its prey. Never once had he considered the possibility of not obtaining what he wanted.

"Really? I can?"

"Yes. But on one condition."

"A condition?"

Alicia barely swallowed the breath she had been holding.

"James. Stop saying his name."

"James?"

The unexpected condition made Alicia's lips part slightly.

"I don’t like hearing another man’s name from your mouth."

Cabelenus’s words made Alicia’s face grow even warmer. She had always known that he had no reservations about expressing his emotions. She shouldn’t have been pleased by that fact, yet she liked that he looked straight into her eyes when he spoke. She even wanted to ask why hearing another man’s name displeased him so much. But she couldn’t. No matter how obvious the emotions were, sometimes it was necessary to pretend not to see them. Swallowing back her questions, Alicia slowly nodded.

"If that’s what Your Grace wants, I won’t say it again."

"……."

"Is something wrong?"

"I thought it would be enough for you to stop saying his name."

Cabelenus frowned slightly. The thought of Alicia never saying James’s name again lessened some of his irritation. But it wasn’t enough. What he truly wanted was something more.

"……Your name."

"Pardon?"

"Say my name."

Cabelenus’s gaze locked onto her.

"I… I couldn't possibly…"

Flustered, Alicia raised her hands as if to refuse, but he caught them firmly. Watching her lips part and close hesitantly, Cabelenus became certain—this was the answer.

"Cabelenus von Schwarhan Blanche."

"……."

"Say it once."

Cabelenus’s grip tightened slightly.

It was the first time he realized how anxious a mere name could make him. Born into royalty, he had been called by titles more often than by name. And those who had once spoken his name freely were nearly all gone. Only Jerpeneus, his last remaining kin, remained. To Cabelenus, his name had never held much significance.

"I… I…"

The weight of his expectant gaze burned against her skin. Alicia desperately averted her eyes, but it was useless. She was already caught.

"You’ve called me before."

"When did I—"

Alicia’s voice trailed off as a memory surfaced. There had been a single moment when she had said his name.

"…You heard that?"

She looked up at him, her expression almost pitiful.

"Yes."

Cabelenus gently traced the furrow between her brows with his fingertip.

"…I’m sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I called a name I shouldn’t have."

Her voice trembled.

"I permitted it, so it doesn’t matter."

"……."

"More than that, I didn’t dislike it."

The way you said my name.

Alicia swallowed hard. She had wanted to ignore it, but it was impossible. The way he looked at her—it was unmistakable. It was the gaze of a man looking at a woman. Exactly as she had always longed for. And yet, she didn’t know whether to feel glad or sorrowful.

She had never let herself forget reality. She understood better than anyone—this wasn’t a relationship that could be sustained by mere feelings. Cabelenus had too much, while she had nothing. That meant she had nothing to lose, whereas he had everything to protect. The outcome was obvious. Cabelenus was a man who understood his position better than anyone.

If he ever sought to keep her, it would be as his mistress at best. That was the logical solution—the only way to maintain both his honor and his desires without losing anything.

If I can just stay by his side, nothing else matters…

Wanting anything more would be greed.

Alicia had never intended to ask him for much. If he wished for her to be his concubine, she could accept it. No matter the form, she wanted to remain by his side. Whether as a mistress or a servant, it made little difference. But that was only possible while he remained unmarried.

Once he took a wife, she would no longer have a place by his side.

Marriage among nobility wasn’t about love; it was about political advantage. Still, marriage carried obligations—respect between husband and wife. A mistress had no place in that equation. No matter how discreetly hidden, the presence of a mistress was a stain, and illegitimate children even more so.

Alicia didn’t want to become a stain on Cabelenus’s life. She didn’t want to ruin him.

"…I can’t say it after all."

"Why?"

Because if she spoke his name, the emotions she had barely managed to suppress would break free. Alicia forced herself to swallow her unspoken answer.

"I don’t want to say Your Grace’s name. It isn’t something I should do."

"Isn’t something you should do?"

His expression twisted in displeasure.

"I don’t forget my place."

"Your status is irrelevant. Besides, you are—"

A sudden knock interrupted him. Cabelenus’s brows furrowed. He wanted to snap at whoever dared disturb them, but reason held him back. Grinding his teeth, he exhaled sharply and pressed his fingers against his temple.

"Enter."

"Forgive the intrusion, Your Grace. There is an urgent matter."

Gajev entered, bowing respectfully.

"What is it?"

"Well…"

Gajev hesitated, glancing at Alicia.

"Step out for a moment. You can retire for the night."

Cabelenus wasted no time rising from his seat. There was only one kind of conversation that couldn’t be held in Alicia’s presence.