De-mia lé

CHAPTER ONE -THE BETRAYAL TRAIL

I always thought I was meant to accomplish great things… … I could hear the phantom jeers

 “WHAT AN ARROGANT BITCH” 

 that always greeted me at every twist and turn of my life, but you know, it never really seemed like arrogance to me, more like the wide eyed certainty of a child dreaming of becoming an astronauts, a president, or even superman it contained nothing but that a wish? ..or a dream? untainted by failure.

It’s been so long and painful–after years of failure and pain–I don’t really care anymore. I really didn't think I was something special but if anything, I, for one–if not anything else–add my parents’ love.

Then mum died. 

And I was proven wrong.

My world broke, losing all semblance of life it had–yet not completely, not yet shattered like glass under hammer.

Devastated I sought my dad another pillar of mine, seeking his strength to hold this collapsing sky but it to crumbled. He was different, kinda of free yet drowning in some sort of guilty…… 

“No that must be my own imagination. He'd loved my mum more than anything in this world.….”

“….yes, that must be why dad's hand shook while reading mum's will” he still couldn't grapple with the reality of mum gone.

 Affirming this to my self once more, I told myself he need's time, but, He drank. He raged. He threw objects at my face and snarled.

“ Hide that disgusting face” 

Suppressing all my emotions and building resentment. I told myself.

“It must be grief, he must be sad, confused on how to go on with life and I, his daughter, will bear this burden until he becomes the man he once was” at least that was what should have happened but it seems I really was nothing special at the end of the day.

Tonight in this freezing storage room–reeking of mildew and old blood–as I near the peak of my already fading life, I find it hard to come in terms with my situation, yet I finally understand. I was naive.

SPLASH. SPLASH. SPLASH.

Tears dripped into the ice crusted puddle beneath me.

“.…” The cold gnaw at my bones but the Silence now glaring after my tears dried hurt worse, my golden iris the only source of light in this unforgiving dark and cold room but even that seems to dim with my dying breath and fading strength. 

SPLASH. SPLASH.

And yet, it seemed there were still more tears within me, even my already weakened body seems to betray me.

 All I wanted was a happy life, one with my dad and mum, was that to big a dream, instead I get, a cold storage room thrown right at me, the icy floor my only embrace and yet as if that wasn’t enough, as if life didn’t want to stop until I was completely broken..… No I can't continue to delude myself, its not life, it a monster I once called my dad.

…Footsteps…

He stood in the doorway, his silhouette warped in the darkness. He probably had been theere for sometime. There, he stood proud, yet a complex glint flickered in eyes, maybe still looking for something to latch onto, so even while I felt I might die at any moment I still noticed, coming up with reasons for him, I thought, maybe he was forced, yes it has to be, because nothing seems to make sense anymore, am I too naive or dumb to believe the love my dad had shown was real, to ignore all, and only happy moments of my already stagnant life.

But as if realizing his mistake, he frowned, his brow furrowing

“ Get that disgusting face out of my sight” he smirked as if his heart had come to sort of peace.

“ why are you doing this to me I thought you loved–” I said using what little strength I had left, but he cut off my words which were more like a whisper by now.

“ ‘shut up,’ !! he yelled”

“ …you and your mum never seem to understand” his voice thick with hatred “you both, making me to be the villain” viens throbbed in his temples the way it always did when he and mum argue on money.

Memories flashed through my mind: His laughter has we played tag around the house. Times when he took me shopping. The love he showed to me and mum.LIES.ALL LIES!!!

“I never wanted things to end this way but what do I get for all my hard work, what do you give me in return, NOTHING, NOTHING!!!”

“she took my life, my dream, my purpose and even my love, your mum took it all from me, she took EVERYTHING!! away from me ”

“ You.. loved her.. you…loved us ” I said my throat screaming from pushing itself 

“Chains” He crouched “ you both are, and were chains” slamming his foot against the floor.

“I had to leave everything behind, you know what…. maybe things wont have gotten this bad if your mum, that stupid wife of mine, just gave me all her inheritance but as obstinate as always, she willed it to you, this ingrate, this bastard!!"

“So I ended her, it wasn’t easy but necessary” his voice dropped, cold has the floor beneath me.

“why…why..why?!?!?” still foolish looking for a reason

For a second his eyes looked like the man I once new but..

“Ha ha ha...!!!!” he laughed, his laughter a dry rasp.

“You think I'm sorry? Pathetic, it seems you inherited more than her looks” like a madman he ranted on, not worried of been found, each of his words piercing my heart, sinking it to an abyss. hatred bloomed, chilling as ice.

  “And you know what, I NEVER felt so alive but you just add to ruin it you, this ingrate that doesn’t know her place, bastard I raised with my own hands, started laying claim my own properties, MY! properties” my already weakened body seemed to gained strength as my fist tighten on its own

“Not even transferring the rights to me, leaving me as a guardian… And you, that face of your mother. Her ghost haunting me through you”

“ I knew then and there, I had to get rid of you or you will grow to take everything from me like her….. and there….”

“ I met someone” he said, almost tenderly “ I met her, she till as radiant as ever. And with her, I finally overcame the thread that was you”

He looked down at me hoping to seem me despair, breakdown completely, but I wasn't going to give that satisfaction my already dimming iris radiating such intense hate that….

 he flinched backwards, noticing this he grew angrier.

“Punch.crack.blood.Ribs splintered.blood spluttered” punch after punch rained down on me like a cascade of symphony- no melody, just twisted rythm.

“You bastard” he yelled, punching until his breath grew ragged, my breath now vanishing from my body, each punch intent on taking what was left of my already crumbling life but this just served to boost my hatred, if I were to ever survive..

“ You will regret this……” I rasped

He laughed but it trembled “ Die quietly, and I might bury you beside her” 

His faded foot steps as he left the room resonating with my fading heartbeat 

The door clang shut.

I hated the fact that even in death he seemed to leave an impact on me. The hate stayed– bright and alive, sharper and colder–while I fell into the embrace of the creeping darkness. Then I blacked out.