Chapter 310: If We’re Brothers, Help Me Cut Down the Other Prime Minister Candidates! New
I am sorry for the delay this weekend was busy cleaning up. As this week and next weekend is full festivals and their preparations (Holi Festival) and I have to travel to hometown, I will only update till Thursday and will continue on next Sunday.
Xu Yanmiao pondered deeply
[How about… calling him Lian Yuchun? This name sounds beautiful, rolls off the tongue smoothly, and has a great meaning—”continuously encountering spring.”]
The officials: This name is great! This name is great! Let’s go with this one! Now that we’ve chosen, can we check out some gossip?
Lian Hang’s lips curled into a smile. He was already thinking about how to thank Xu Lang.
[Or maybe Lian Sheng? It’s a single-character name like Lian Hang’s, which makes them sound like father and son.]
[Plus, “Lian Sheng” has a great meaning—it suggests continuous victories and sounds powerful… That seems like a good choice too?]
The officials: This one is great too! Bless Lian Hang’s child with continuous victories—it sounds so auspicious! This child is destined for greatness! Let’s go with this one! Now, should we take a break and check out some gossip?
Lian Hang had no objections and was already looking forward to the decision.“I must prepare a grand thank-you gift for Xu Lang—999 taels of silver for good fortune!”
Then, Xu Lang hesitated again.
[Maybe I should think some more… Hmm, Lian Feng sounds pretty good too. It gives off a vivid image, like a painting.]
The officials were thrilled: This one also…
[Actually, Lian Ying is nice too. “Lian Ying” sounds like “Lian Ying” (continuous victory).]
The officials: That also…
[If we don’t consider the child’s meaning and instead think about Lian Hang’s future, maybe Lian Zhong would be good?]
The officials: Maybe…
[But Lian Zhong doesn’t sound very pleasant. What about Lian Jie? It sounds like “integrity” (廉潔), which the old emperor would surely like!]
[Lian Cheng also sounds nice… No, Lian Cheng is better—both visually appealing and pleasant to hear!]
[Or maybe…]
The officials were exhausted.
It seemed like Bai Ze would keep struggling with this for days.
Only Lian Hang looked deeply moved.
“Xu Lang! You are so kind to me!”
—Add more, more, and even more to the thank-you gift.
The old-fashioned, slightly misogynistic emperor, who wasn’t great at respecting others, gave Xu Yanmiao a sidelong glance.
“It’s just a name—why is he taking so long? So indecisive! If he keeps this up, how am I supposed to eavesdrop on my divine artifact?!”
With a casual wave of his hand, the emperor declared, “Lian Hang, I heard you’ve been blessed with a son? Let me give him a name.”
The old emperor: Watch me cut through the nonsense like a sharp blade!
Lian Hang: “…”
Bound by imperial authority, Lian Hang hesitated to speak, but his eyes reddened involuntarily.
—He had a tendency to tear up easily.
In the past, Lian Hang would have been thrilled—overjoyed, even—but now… If the emperor named his son, could he still use the name Xu Lang had chosen?
Lian Hang thought to himself: Your Majesty, this is too much! You know how much I wanted Xu Lang to name my child!
Unfortunately, Xu Lang was oblivious.
[Wow! Lian Hang must be so happy!]
[Though I do feel a little regretful that I won’t get to name Lian Hang’s son… I spent three days thinking about it! But this is a name bestowed by the emperor, which must be a great honor in a feudal society, right?]
Lian Hang gave Xu Yanmiao a resentful look.
That used to be the case… but you’re Bai Ze!!! (shocked expression)
Resigned, he stepped forward to express his gratitude.
Xu Yanmiao: [But why is the old emperor in such a good mood today? What got him so excited that he suddenly decided to name Lian Hang’s son?]
The old emperor leaned back lazily in his chair, keeping the smile on his face.
“There’s nothing particularly interesting happening lately. Xu Yanmiao, you won’t get the chance to turn me into a spectacle this time.”
—He even felt a little smug, as if he had finally turned the tables.
[Huh? Nothing interesting happened?]
The crown prince withdrew his gaze in disappointment.
The officials also… secretly felt a little let down.
The old emperor’s smile widened as he opened his mouth.
“Lian—”
[Wait a minute?!]
[Old emperor, why did you go to the Nanfeng Pavilion?!]
“?!”
Nanfeng Pavilion?!
The officials’ eyes widened in shock.
The crown prince was momentarily speechless, too stunned to react.
Princess Wanshou’s smile faded slightly.
Princess Xiangyang, on the other hand, was already rolling up her sleeves, fully prepared to embarrass her father on the spot.
All the unspoken words boiled down to one thought—
[Old Emperor, how could you do this to the gentle and dignified Empress?!]
Crown Prince: Exactly!!!
Princess Wanshou: That’s right!!!
Princess Xiangyang: Father, you’ve gone too far!
Among the officials, many wore expressions of disapproval. The Imperial Censor was already drafting a scathing rebuke in his mind.
[Huh?!]
[Gao He, why are you there too? And you even met the old emperor in a private room? There’s no way you’re up to something… exciting, right? No way, right? Isn’t the old emperor homophobic?]
Gao He instinctively squeezed his eyes shut and shrank his neck.
“Your Majesty! We can’t hide it anymore! I… I can’t help you!”
The old emperor froze in place, sitting rigidly in his chair like a giant statue.
[Wait, why did he dismiss all attendants?]
Xu Yanmiao kept flipping through information.
[Something feels off… He wouldn’t be secretly doing something shady, would he?]
[Found it! Found it!!!]
[Hahahaha! Brother More Money, you never fail to impress! You actually came up with a way for the emperor to make personal income?! If you don’t get rich, who will?!]
[The emperor asked if there was a way to increase his private treasury, and you suggested… selling horse manure from the royal stables!]
[But honestly… there are a lot of horses in the imperial stables—Wuhu! Brother More Money even did the math! Selling horse manure could bring in 200,000 guan per year! The old emperor is absolutely thrilled, hahaha! He even told the empress that he had been sitting on a treasure trove without realizing it!]
The old emperor, noticing the Minister of Revenue’s gaze, gripped the dragon throne slightly tighter.
“What?! What’s with that look, Yuan Jinke?! You trying to steal my money?!”
Meanwhile, the Minister of Revenue looked deeply concerned.
“200,000 guan a year… It’s not good for the emperor to have so much private wealth—it could lead to extravagance! As Minister of Revenue, I’ve clearly been negligent, failing to detect His Majesty’s financial schemes sooner!”
“I need to figure out how to divert that money to the national treasury. The country has plenty of expenses that need covering!”
Completely unaware of the silent power struggle between the emperor and the Minister of Revenue, Xu Yanmiao enthusiastically continued reading.
[Hahaha! No wonder they chose to meet at Nanfeng Pavilion—old emperor, you were afraid the Minister of Revenue and the Imperial Censors would find out, weren’t you?!]
The old emperor stiffened, his neck tense with guilt.
Who’s afraid?!
A mere Imperial Censor? So what if they submit memorials impeaching him for selling horse manure and disregarding royal dignity?!
He simply didn’t like listening to nagging—he wasn’t trying to be a tyrant! Xu Yanmiao, what do you even know?!
And as for the Minister of Revenue! Today, he would prove once and for all that he wasn’t afraid of some Minister of Revenue!
The old emperor cleared his throat and spoke. “Lian Hang, this is your first time becoming a father, and I imagine you must be eager to name your eldest son. I am not an unreasonable man. This imperial bestowed name will only be a childhood name.”
Lian Hang sighed in relief and stepped forward to express his gratitude.
“The old emperor said: ‘A turtle symbolizes longevity, so the child’s nickname shall be Gui Niangzi (龜娘子).'”
Given the historical context, 龜娘子 (Gui Niangzi) follows the traditional pattern of using simple, often humble or even unflattering childhood nicknames for nobility. These names were meant to protect the child from bad luck or to reflect certain virtues. In this case, 龜 (turtle) symbolizes longevity, while 娘子 (Niangzi) was sometimes used as a suffix for affectionate or humble nicknames, even for boys in ancient times.
So, in the same way that Wu Niangzi (五娘子) and Zhu’er (豬兒, “Little Pig”) were historical childhood names, Gui Niangzi (龜娘子, “Turtle Niangzi”) fits into that naming tradition.
Lian Hang gave his deepest thanks, feeling immensely grateful.
Xu Yanmiao was also delighted. [Yes! This means I can still give Lian Hang’s son his official name!]
In the end, Lian Hang’s son was named Lian Ying.
At first, Xu Yanmiao had shortlisted seven names but couldn’t decide on one. He handed them over to Lian Hang, who then struggled between Lian Sheng (Victory) and Lian Ying (Pillar).
The two debated for a long time.
Xu Yanmiao finally said, “Let’s go with Lian Ying! Lian Sheng is too straightforward, and it might put too much pressure on the child. If he doesn’t always win, he could end up being mocked.”
Lian Hang hesitated. “Then why not change it to the Sheng that means flourishing instead?”
Xu Yanmiao nodded thoughtfully. “That’s a good point!”
And so, the two of them wrestled between Lian Sheng and Lian Ying for another long while before finally deciding—
“Lian Ying! It sounds elegant and strong!”
“Alright, then Lian Ying it is!”
Xu Yanmiao grinned. “Look! Ta-da—”
Lian Hang, momentarily confused, watched as Xu Yanmiao had someone bring in a large wine jar. “Wine? Why are you giving me wine?”
“It’s Shaoxing wine,” Xu Yanmiao said proudly. “Your son is turning one, and as his uncle, of course I have to give him a gift! This is aged Shaoxing wine—the older, the better. It took me an insane amount of effort to find this: a century-old jar of Shaoxing wine! It’s still sealed, so you can put it back in storage. When your son grows up, it’ll be a 120-year-old vintage!”
“A century-old Shaoxing wine?!” Lian Hang blinked rapidly, feeling moved to the point of tears. “That’s too precious—”
This was something that could serve as a family treasure!
Take the most prestigious winery in the empire, for example. It earned the title of the best in the land because it housed two jars of aged wine—each nearly 200 catties, aged for 110 years, buried in the second year of the Wu Zhang era.
A high-ranking noble once opened one of those jars, and the wine had thickened into an almost jelly-like consistency. When poured into a cup, it trembled like fine syrup. Mixing it with premium wine created an aroma that spread for ten miles.
Wine like this, when gifted at critical moments, could work wonders. It could even be used to buy an official position.
—Back in the distant Liang Dynasty, imported grape wine was so rare that someone once bribed a powerful eunuch with a single dou of it and secured a governorship in return.
And a century-old vintage? Equally priceless.
Xu Yanmiao chuckled. “Precious? Only to others. I don’t drink, and I don’t need wine to curry favor with anyone. This is my gift to my nephew—if you want to return it, let him tell me himself when he grows up.”
Lian Hang was stunned. “Wait… You can do that?!”
Xu Yanmiao was equally shocked. “Why not?!”
The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Xu Yanmiao slung an arm over Lian Hang’s shoulder, drawing out his words. “Shall we go? Treat me to a horse race?”
Lian Hang wiped his tears away and broke into a smile. “Let’s go!”
The Grand Xia dynasty banned gambling, but horse racing was one of the few public entertainments that carried a gambling-like thrill.
On both sides of the racetrack, vendors had already set up stalls with tents, tables, and chairs, offering fruits and snacks for guests as they waited for the race to begin.
Just as Lian Hang was about to take his seat, Xu Yanmiao grabbed his arm. “Hey, isn’t that Prime Minister Dou?”
—Even though Dou was no longer the Prime Minister, Xu Yanmiao was simply used to calling him that.
Lian Hang focused his gaze. That eighty-year-old man, still brimming with energy, cheering loudly at the racetrack—who else could it be but Dou?
And beside him…
“Huh? Why is the Grand General here too? He looks like he’s being extra cautious about something.”
Xu Yanmiao recalled something from that morning’s court session, right after the emperor had given Lian Hang’s eldest son his childhood name—
“Didn’t His Majesty announce that Prime Minister Dou had officially retired and that the position was now vacant? He even asked the ministers if they had any recommendations for a successor.”
Xu Yanmiao rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Could it be that the Grand General wants the position? His rank does qualify him to compete for it.”
After all, a former prime minister recommending a successor was a common way of selecting the next one.
[Let me check.]
Xu Yanmiao casually activated the system.
[Oh ho!]
His eyes lit up.
[He’s not aiming for the prime minister’s seat himself—he’s backing the Minister of Rites! Since if the Minister of Rites gets promoted, the Vice Minister of Rites will have a shot at taking his place!]
[Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk!]
Xu Yanmiao smirked with the wisdom of an old sage.
[Now this—this is love.]
“Smack—”
A hand landed on Xu Yanmiao’s shoulder.
Xu Yanmiao jumped and turned around. “Huh? Minister Zhou? What are you doing here…?”
Where did this guy suddenly pop out from?!
The Minister of Personnel cleared his throat and looked at him expectantly. “Xu Yanmiao, tell me—what do you think of my character?”
Hurry, say it! List all the great things I’ve done, all my achievements! Can I become the next prime minister? This might all depend on you!
And while you’re at it, maybe throw some shade at the other candidates too!
What do you think?
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