Chapter 865: Dragons Are Hardheaded
Valerie wasn’t usually one for early mornings.
She liked staying up late, going to bed with a mild buzz, and waking up at around noon with the lips of one of her partners somewhere they shouldn’t be.
But today, Valerie woke up early to be a filial daughter.
Gulban was still recovering after losing his powers and receiving the divine immortal equivalent of around-the-clock care for senior citizens.
As Valerie slipped into her father’s room carrying a tray, she realized that he was already awake.
The old man was still in bed but on his phone and playing Candy Crush.
"Brought you some stuff, Dad," Valerie announced her arrival.
Gulban looked up at his daughter, then the time. "What are you doing up at this godforsaken hour?"
"It’s only six a.m. You don’t have to be so dramatic... And you’re also awake, you know?"
Gulban sat up a bit, and his coloring and condition had both improved a lot. Though he was still a ways away from his former larger-than-life and vibrant self.
But at least his beard of flame was starting to return. That really was enough for Valerie for now.
"I slept for over sixteen hours yesterday. It’s not surprising for me to be awake, so what’s your excuse?"
Valerie placed the tray over her father’s lap. "You have a Granddaughter who’s not even twelve months yet. I don’t know if you know much about infants, but they don’t really give a fuck about one’s sleep schedule."
Truthfully, Valerie woke up before Odessa even started making noise. But she didn’t need her dad to think he was worried about him, or he’d become insufferably mushy.
Gulban looked down at the tray in front of him in clear displeasure. "And... What the hell is this?"
Valerie didn’t understand the confusion. "Some breakfast and some meds Lailah made."
Gulban poked at something on in a bowl. "Lailah made this?"
"No, I did. She just made some meds for you." Valerie clarified.
Gulban looked relieved. "Thank god... I thought the witch was trying to kill me, but you’re just a terrible cook. I’m relieved."
Valerie’s wings turned deep red. "What are you talking about, old man!? There’s nothing wrong with that!"
"What is it supposed to be?"
"Oatmeal!"
"And these...?"
"T-They’re just bits of cubed apple!"
"Yes, but how you somehow managed to undercook and burn them at the same time is something I don’t understand." Gulban covered his nose in abject horror.
"Whatever, you don’t know what you’re talking about! My husband and wives love it when I cook for them!"
Gulban began singing ’What you Won’t Do For Love’ by Bobby Caldwell.
"Shut up and eat it!" Valerie snapped.
Gulban lifted a trembling spoon and siphoned a bit of the congealed, horrific mass.
"You can’t make me eat this! This is elder abuse! Your husband doesn’t even turn this black when he gets angry!"
"Dad!"
Gulban looked at his spoon and then his daughter. "..And neither do you, for that matter!"
"Just eat it, old man! And be grateful that your loving daughter wanted to make something nice for you!"
Gulban was running out of ways to avoid eating this monstrosity.
Finally, he acquiesced a bit and decided to try it.
Valerie watched him eat with bated breath, and when he didn’t react poorly, she was slightly relieved.
Gulban slowly put his metal spoon back down. "I’m sorry."
Valerie beamed with pride. "Pretty good, huh? And you did all of that griping and complaining for no reason-"
"I’m sorry for thinking that I could raise you on my own with no mother." Gulban finished. "If you had more feminine influence, then maybe you wouldn’t be creation’s oldest tomboy without a lick of cooking knowledge or manners. And you drink too much too."
Valerie’s wings turned dark black as she cracked her knuckles. "You’re right, I’m not super girly. Which means I won’t hit you like one either, YOU PIECE OF SHITTTTT!"
-6 Minutes Later...
Gulban had gone from showing serious improvement to being black and blue all over in a remarkably fast fashion.
Now, the old man was eating his oats with a can of beer poured in because he claimed that it helped them taste better.
And he wondered why Valerie also had a drinking problem...
The butterfly-winged goddess started to leave in a huff, the vein in her head still prominent and displaying her agitation.
"Val-Val."
Valerie paused. She hadn’t heard her father call her that name in years.
"What do you want, Dad?" She hissed as she looked over her shoulder. "Don’t complain about anything else, or I’ll doworse than Lucifer’s son did."
"Bah." Gulban waved his hand dismissively. "It’s not about your terrible cooking... It’s about more than that."
Valerie paused with her hand on the door just in case her father wanted to spout more bullshit. "Go ahead."
Gulban looked embarrassed as he twisted his spoon around in his ungodly concoction.
"It is... unlikely that the big man will awaken anytime soon. As he is the only one who can restore me, the multiverse will be left without a Maker. I’m sure you understand why that is a travesty."
Valerie nodded slowly, as she understood the implications of a reality where their eternity was not well-maintained.
"Someone will have to assume my responsibility, you know...? Our enemies cannot have accomplished two great victories in one fell swoop."
Valerie slowly pointed at herself. "You mean... me?"
"You were intended to be my heir when I retired, Valerie."
Valerie felt her chest tighten as she shook her head. "Y-Yeah, I know that, but... It’s not what I want anymore. I can’t be away from my family for that long, I don’t want to be!"
Gulban sighed. "Valerie, countless beings would die if we did not help them. I know very well your feelings surrounding your family, but we must think about those other than ourselves here!"
Valerie’s head was pounding. Her vision was becoming blurry.
"Surely you must feel it even now," Gulban said gently. "The chaos that arises as the universe grows with no one to properly trim its hedges...?"
Valerie’s wings turned a deep, sad blue.
Because she could feel it.
With no maker to tend to creation, creation was growing in ways that it shouldn’t. And worlds that were like blank templates were being altered in the wrong direction by the most minute of circumstances.
There was a time so very long ago when Valerie had actually wanted to assume her father’s responsibility.
But that was long before she met the man and woman she loved and started a family with them.
She hadn’t pondered the idea of leaving their side ever since. Why would she?
Nothing could have made her feel happier and more fulfilled than they did. And though they could get on her nerves sometimes, there was never a single day where she considered walking away from them.
And she felt that way even now.
"Take your meds, Dad. I’ll send someone to come look in on you later."
"Valerie..." Gulban called.
Valerie didn’t heed his words, though. She just shut the door behind her and left him to enjoy the breakfast she had generously made.
-
Valerie wiped her face so many times after leaving that she was sure she must have scrubbed a layer of skin off.
She tried her best to put on a brave face and not look as shitty as she felt, or else everyone in the house would swarm her like gnats around a porch light.
And right now, Valerie just wanted to breathe and keep her thoughts to herself.
She was aware that she was being selfish. On two different fronts, in fact.
But she didn’t know what else to do. Leaving her loved ones was not an option.
Gulban’s role required him to pop across billions of realities in under thirty seconds at any given moment. With the multiverse being infinite, there was always an infinite amount of things that could go wrong.
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Sometimes, he barely even had time to call his daughter just for a few minutes. That was already hard on Valerie.
She didn’t want his life to become hers. All that loneliness, isolation, and inability to do anything other than work for a universe that would never know of her existence.
In fact, she could think of nothing that she would’ve liked less.
But did she even have a choice in the matter?
"You’re not going!"
"Yes, I am!"
"I said no!"
"I can just split myself and send-"
"What part of ’no’ are you not getting!? You’re getting in bed, and you’re going to eat these biscuits!"
"My love, I don’t want any bis."
"YAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"
Valerie had accidentally stumbled on a hard-to-watch scene.
Abaddon and Tatiana were on the floor, seemingly fighting.
Tati had their husband in a textbook armbar that was likely to pull his shoulder from its socket.
Odessa was on the ground nearby, clapping her hands and showing a gummy smile.
"What... is going on here?" Valerie asked, but was unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.
Both beautiful individuals slowly strained their necks to stare at Valerie from an awkward angle.
"Our husband is trying to leave for the summit with Lailah today!" Tatiana confessed.
"Snitch!"
Tatiana just stuck her tongue out and applied more force to her submission hold.
Abaddon felt an odd pressure come from above his head.
When he looked up again, Valerie’s eyes were glowing red, and her wings were dark black.
"Now, my love, I can explain..." Abadon began.
Valerie was already starting to float up in the air.
"I don’t want to hear it... there’s nothing you can say to make this okay."
Abaddon gulped.
"We all told you... YOU’RE STAYING IN BEDDDD!!!!"
The last thing Abaddon saw before the world went dark was his wife’s elbow drop from the metaphorical top rope.
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