Harem Streamer System: Every Crime I Broadcast Wins Me a Superheroine

Volkner Interstellar Museum…

Judy's eyes twitched.

Her fingers drummed furiously against her crossed arms as her teeth ground in silent agony.

Because what she was witnessing was nothing short of unholy.

The smug little minx, Vixen was still feeding Shadow.

And worse—she was dragging it out on purpose.

Judy had been watching for a while, and the pattern was clear. Shadow would frown, try to mumble something about being full, and right as he so much as moved his lips──Vixen would glance over at Judy.

Confirming she was watching.

And then, with a sweet little giggle, she'd pop another bite-sized snack into Shadow's reluctant mouth.

His jaw chewed with the enthusiasm of a man who had been force-fed a meal by a mother-in-law he really didn't want to disappoint.

It was torture.

Not just for Shadow, but for Judy too.

The chat was eating it up.

[💀💀💀 SHE IS NOT LETTING HIM GO]

[This is what's called "Territorial Prowess."]

[Bro blinked twice. HE NEEDS HELP.]

└ [He's been blinking SOS for five minutes. 😭]

[NAH VIXEN IS EVIL FOR THIS LMAOOO]

[Judy's about to commit a crime. A big one.]

[Lowkey? I don't even think she likes him like that. 🤷‍♂️]

└ [Nah, that's COPE. Accept it.]

･･･

Pale and nauseous, Shadow held a firm and against his lightly trembling stomach.

"… Witch wasn't lying…"

He muttered weakly.

"She really does have weird taste… these taste like shit the more I eat them."

Vixen just hummed.

"Mmm? But you don't have to say you're okay, dear. I know you're not okay just from eating snacks alone… right?"

Shadow swallowed thickly.

He glanced at the snack pack in her hand like it was a loaded weapon designed to terminate him.

The thought of another bite made his stomach do flips.

"… to be very honest──only a pig could eat a ton of these and still want more."

As if on cue—both of them turned toward the corner.

There, sitting in his own personal kingdom of crumpled snack bags, was Marmot Man.

Sweaty. Greasy. Hairy.

Absolutely demolishing bag after bag, crumbs flying from his chubby cheeks like he hadn't seen food in a decade.

Shadow and Vixen just stared.

The chat lost it.

[OH MY GOD. HE'S REALLY BUILT DIFFERENT.]

[HE IS THE PIG.]

└ [Not really the best word to use…]

[This man is eating like rent is due in the morning.]

└ [Bro got the metabolism of a Greek god wtf.]

[They say there are two types of people in this world.]

└ [Add them both and Marmot Man still weigh more.]

└ [Bruh 💀…]

[Please don't let Vixen and Shadow sit next to each other on the plane.]

└ [Bro finna get that aerial throat work. 😝]

Meanwhile, across the room, Witch had been quietly observing something else.

Judy.

Specifically, the heatwave of rage radiating off of her.

A slow sigh left Witch's lips as she strolled up behind her cousin, then folded her arms.

"… So. You jealous?"

Judy flinched.

She whipped her head to the side and found Witch giving her a smooth side-eye—half-curious, half-not giving a damn.

But Judy had never been one to back down from speaking her mind.

"Pffft. Jealous? Me?"

She scoffed, then shook her head.

"Not even a little bit."

A pause.

"… and sure, that sounds like I'm just trying to do the whole playing defensive—but I'm really not. I'm a grown-ass woman. I don't have time for something so stupid."

Her expression was firm. Unshaken.

But Witch had known her cousin for too long to be fooled.

The side-eye intensified.

"… alright, then."

She rolled her wrist lazily.

"Since you're not jealous, what's got you so pissed? Because I know it has something to do with those two lovebirds. As far as the word can go… I guess?"

She didn't sound fully convinced that Shadow and Vixen were actually a thing.

Honestly, neither was Judy.

Judy exhaled sharply and lowered her head.

"Again… I'm not jealous."

Her voice was softer this time.

"I just… really felt a connection with Shadow, y'know? It's hard to find people who actually get me. But he—he listens to my ramblings. The random stuff I get excited about? The facts people call boring?"

She looked down at her hands.

"… he actually finds them interesting."

A slow blink from Witch. Then a raised brow.

"So, uh… what does that mean, exactly?"

She tilted her head.

"Does that mean you actually like him?"

Judy blinked.

Then, immediately, she shook her head.

"No, not at all."

She sighed.

"I just appreciate that he shares the same hidden interests as me. At work, I can't talk about this stuff because barely anyone cares… they're more concerned with trying to get me to release my news sources and all that garbage. Pssssh. No one cares about all my conspiracy theories. Well, unless I force them to."

Her face twisted at the admission.

"… which I might've done to a few interns."

"… hrrm. Stressful."

"I know, right?" Judy groaned. "Tell me about it."

The chat had switched gears.

[This is actually kinda deep.]

[I feel her. Finding people who genuinely enjoy your weird interests hits different.]

└ [Realest thing I've read all day.]

[Witch tryna act like she don't care, but she's invested.]

└ [I mean, it's her cousin, of course she cares 🤷‍♂️ she doesn't have to show it in every fibre of her being that she cares. The fact that she can ask and listen is enough.]

[Meanwhile, Vixen feeding that poor man like he's in hospice care.]

└ [Judy watching like a Shakespearean tragedy. 💀]

└ [This sentence has never been uttered.]

･･･

But before anyone could say more—

BOOM!

A massive explosion shook the entire room.

A wall was ripped open like tissue paper.

Dust and debris rained down. The air filled with smoke.

Every hero immediately jumped into a battle stance.

Shadow shoved Vixen aside.

Marmot Man dropped his snack bags, his cheeks still stuffed like a chipmunk.

Sniperess was already crouched behind cover.

And in the center of the destruction—

A dark, hulking silhouette emerged from the smoke.

The chat went feral.

[HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK]

[RUN THE ADS BEFORE WE DIE.]

[Bro we are COOKED.]

└ [WHO IS IT?!?]

└ [You dumb fuck! It's that tsundere from earlier!]

[IS IT THE THIEF? IS IT A VILLAIN?]

[SPAM "L" IN CHAT TO LOWER HIS ATTACK POWER.]

･･･

The dust settled.

A deep, rumbling voice echoed through the space.

"… I see."

Heavy boots stomped forward.

"So this is where you all are hiding."

A figure stepped out.

The air froze.

Shadow's eyes narrowed.

Judy's pulse spiked.

The entire team braced themselves.

Smoke still curled in the air, swirling around the imposing figure of Mr. Invincible as he stepped forward. The man was built like a battleship, towering over the wreckage as his chiseled jaw clenched in barely restrained disdain.

His golden, high-collared cape billowed behind him as he swept his gaze across the gathered heroes.

His lips curled into a sneer.

"First off…"

He spoke with absolute condescension.

"Just be good little homo sapiens and hand over the damn alien cube."

He cracked his knuckles.

It popped like the sound of gunfire.

"And maybe, just maybe, I'll let you all off with a few broken bones."

Judy instinctively spread her arms out to stand her ground in front of the secured display case that held the cube.

Her lips parted.

A fierce, defiant retort—

"Oh yeah?! Well──!!"

Wait, where was she going with this?

Her brain stalled. Panic kicked in. Her hands clenched.

"… Not if we—uh—break your d- damn bones first and uh… stuff, you son of a bitch!"

An awkward silence stretched for just a second too long.

Sniperess, already crouched behind cover, blinked at her.

"… She's not great at making snarky comebacks, huh?"

Witch nodded dully beside her.

"Uh-huh."

Judy's face turned red as she snapped her gaze to them.

"Oh, piss off!"

She barked with a deep scowl.

"I don't work well under pressure, for goodness' sake!"

She turned back to Mr. Invincible and firmed her stance, setting her jaw as she stared him down.

The chat had a field day.

[😭😭 That comeback was HELLA tragic.]

└ [Bro, she buffering mid-sentence. 💀]

└ [Chat, give her some credit, she tried.]

└ [Nah, that was an AI-generated response, no way.]

[Did no one notice he said homo sapiens?]

└ [For real, bro learned a new word and thought he was cooking with it. 💀]

└ [Where's Invisible Woman?]

└ [This comment reeks of gooner energy.]

[Mr. Invincible's hairline is so straight, I know he swung by the barber before coming here.]

└ [That's crazy dedication, I respect it.]

└ [His barber came in clutch ong 😭]

･･･

Meanwhile, Shadow had already leaned forward with his hands outstretched as shadowy claws sprouted to curl with an unnatural sharpness. His eyes burned with focus as he locked onto the obstacle before him—

That obstacle being—

Mr. Invincible, who frowned at him in pure disgust.

"Hrrm."

The larger man crossed his arms.

"So you're the only man here…"

His eyes narrowed with contempt.

"Then I'll assume you're the one with enough gall to touch the breasts of my woman."

Silence.

Shadow blinked.

"Bro, what…?"

Mr. Invincible's gaze burned into him.

"How dare you?"

A hand lifted.

"Uhhh—"

Marmot Man.

The greasy, snack-devouring menace wiggled his fingers awkwardly.

"Another manly man here?"

He tilted his head.

"Or did you guys forget about me again?"

Mr. Invincible slowly turned to him.

The air thickened with a sort of silent tension.

His eyes narrowed further.

"You pig… do you really think you can speak to me, Mr. Invincible, like that?"

Marmot Man just blinked. Then scratched his hairy belly.

"Huh?"

He tilted his head further.

"If you're Invincible… then why can I see you?"

The entire room collectively slapped a hand over their faces.

A symphony of groans filled the air.

The chat went nuclear.

[WE CAN'T TAKE HIM ANYWHERE.]

└ [Dumbest man alive, I love him.]

└ [I've lost brain cells but gained happiness.]

└ [I swear Marmot Man is on purpose dumb, no way.]

[Mr. Invincible doesn't seem like the type to joke around tho… shi kinda scary lol]

└ [Bro looks like he's seen war.]

└ [He's built like that one silent military vet who still wakes up at 4 AM.]

[Wait… one of the main reasons he's here is coochie?]

└ [He doesn't want any other man messing with his girl. RESPECT.]

└ [Ong I wouldn't let Shadow grope my girl's breasts like that and get away with. ✌️]

･･･

Mr. Invincible scowled further. Then—

"Disgusting."

A sonic boom erupted.

The floor cracked beneath him as he launched forward—

A nuclear force of speed and fury.

He barreled straight for Marmot Man──like a destructive rocket making a beeline for a harmless village.

His fists were locked. His trajectory was deadly.

Witch's eyes widened.

"Sniperess! Quick!"

A sharp ping!—

Sniperess instantly fired a high-caliber sniper round.

The bullet hit—

—and shattered into fine dust on Mr. Invincible's skin.

The man didn't even slow down. He was still coming.

A blur. A streak of death.

The impact was instantaneous.

BOOM!

Dust. Debris.

A shockwave that rattled the very museum walls.@@novelbin@@

The world went silent. Then—

Judy's voice.

"MARMOT!!"

As the smoke cleared──there he was.

Standing. Completely unharmed.

Marmot Man touched his whole body, patting his chest, arms, stomach—his entire hairy form.

He blinked.

"… I'm safe?"

His voice shook.

"B-, But how—h-, how──?!"

The chat erupted.

[WHAT HAPPENED?? I DIDN'T SEE SHIT.]

└ [Same, bro. It was too fast.]

└ [We need an instant replay, my eyes weren't ready.]

[Yo, that was a bulletproof body shot, wtf.]

└ [Welp, the name fits now. Bro's actually invincible.]

[If Marmot Man has a secret power I will lose my mind.]

└ [Imagine if he's actually OP but just doesn't know it.]

└ [Average Isekai MC. That shit be pissing me off! 😡]

･･･

Marmot Man's breath was shaky.

He still couldn't believe he was alive.

He should've been paste on the museum floor.

A crater. A memory. And yet… he was standing.

His fingers curled into a trembling fist.

"I'm… alive?"

His voice wavered, thick with confusion.

Crouched low like a tiger with her tail flicking, Dog Girl suddenly sniffed the air.

Her ears perked, and she turned her head sharply.

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A shift. Something in the atmosphere had changed.

Standing beside her, Vixen caught the subtle tension and gave her a slow side-eye.

"You felt that too, huh?"

At the same time, both of them turned their gazes to where Shadow was supposed to be.

He wasn't there. Gone.

Dog Girl's tail wagged in excitement as a toothy grin spread across her face.

"Ohhhh, the boss is gone!"

Witch lifted a skeptical brow. "He is?"

Judy's expression stiffened as she turned her head.

"Shadow?"

Everyone's eyes snapped to the point of impact, to the collision site where Mr. Invincible had been about to turn Marmot Man into a smear of regret. And there—standing between them—was an unstoppable force.

Shadow.

His arms were crossed in front of him, bracing against the overwhelming power of Mr. Invincible's strike. His body trembled like a frayed wire on the verge of snapping.

"Nghk──!!"

The muscles in his arms vibrated violently.

His boots skidded slightly against the cracked marble floor as his entire body shuddered under the sheer force pressing down on him.

Yet, he stood. Unyielding.

Mr. Invincible's scowl deepened.

"So… you really are a real man."

Shadow let out a strained grunt as his Shadow Factor Suit flickered with instability. The nyxion particles across his body fractured as tiny tendrils of darkness broke apart like static interference. But then──

Another grunt.

The suit held firm. Reinforced itself, as though Shadow was forcing it to obey.

The chat absolutely lost its mind.

[Nightwatch who???]

[🔥🔥 HOLY SHIT, SHADOW BLOCKED THAT?]

└ [BRO JUST STOPPED A FUCKIN' SONIC BOOM PUNCH, HELLO???]

└ [Shadow moving faster than sound and we ain't talking about his damn mouth 😭]

[I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST A STEALTH GUY WTF]

└ [Same shit we thought about Nightwatch to be honest and yet here we are. 🤷‍♂️]

[This dude just outpaced Mr. Invincible with absolutely ZERO acceleration.]

└ [That means he was already moving at insane speed before launching in.]

└ [Shadow's reaction time is literally inhuman. No wonder he pulls so many chicks.]

[Shadow Factor Suit >> Anti-Disaster Suit.]

└ [Ehhh, depends. Anti-Disaster takes strength & flight but Shadow Factor is SPEED.]

└ [Either way, Nightwatch ain't pulling these feats ong.]

･･･

Mr. Invincible's expression twisted.

His lips curled back into a nasty smirk.

"Well?"

His deep voice rumbled.

"I thought you'd have a little more balls to talk again."

His sneer darkened.

"After all… you must've enjoyed squeezing the lovely breasts of my woman."

A low chuckle left Shadow's lips. His head tilted slightly as his undecipherable mask hid his expression.

"Yeah."

His voice was almost playful.

"I enjoyed squeezing those big invisible tits. In fact, I wanted to twist those dimple nipples and suck them a bit… after all, she said she had a shower between her legs and was ready to bust it all on me. You call her your woman but she sounds like everyone's woman at this point…"

Silence.

The sheer audacity.

Judy's jaw dropped.

Dog Girl let out a wheezing laugh.

Vixen let out a whistle.

"Oh, he's wild for that."

Chat exploded.

[🔥🔥🔥 BRO JUST WENT FULL GOBLIN MODE WTF]

└ [SHADOW ACTUALLY HAS NO FEAR.]

└ [HE SAID THAT TO MR. INVINCIBLE'S FACE??]

└ [💀💀💀💀 I know bro's dead.]

[Dimple nipples is crazy… and kinda hot…]

[Why'd that shit make my dick stand… 🤦‍♂️]

└ [Tbvh, shit made me bricked too. 🤷‍♂️]

[Biggest Shadow W of all time.]

└ ["I coulda gone for a nipple twist" I'M IN TEARS.]

└ [Mr. Invincible about to commit a war crime.]

Mr. Invincible's brows twitched.

A vein pulsed at the side of his head.

"You bastard."

Steam blasted from his nostrils like the exhaust of a merciless war machine.

With a furious roar, he pulled back his fist and shot forward, a living missile of destruction.

Shadow barely had time to phase──BOOM!!

A single punch sent him flying, smashing through two pillars before slamming hard into a reinforced wall.

Dust and debris rained down.

Shadow groaned, clutching his side.

"Ugh… okay, not exactly what I was expecting…"

He coughed, shaking his head.

"But… kinda needed that."

His HUD flickered. He stared at the display.

"System."

His voice was strained.

"Recalibrate the nyxion particles. I need better reaction time for phase shifting and darkness manipulation."

[Processing… Estimated completion: 57 seconds.]

Shadow exhaled through his teeth and pushed himself up, his eyes locking onto Mr. Invincible once more.

He tilted his head.

"Where's your girl? Touching herself now that she finally experienced the touch of an attractive man?"

Silence. A crack formed in the air—

Mr. Invincible's sheer rage became a tangible force.

"You."

He took a single step forward.

The floor cracked beneath his foot.

"BASTARD──!!"

Chat was losing its collective mind.

[🔥🔥🔥 SHADOW WINS AGAIN LMAO]

└ [This is the most toxic beef I've ever seen.]

└ [Bro playing a psychological war while getting his damn ass beat 💀💀💀]

Just as Mr. Invincible prepared to launch—

SHHNK!

Three hexagonal throwing weapons sliced through the air to embed themselves in his chest.

They bounced off harmlessly.

Mr. Invincible scoffed. "Is that all?"

Witch smirked.

BOOOOOOM!

A massive explosion tore through the museum.

Fire and smoke consumed Mr. Invincible as the force blasted him backward.

Before he could recover──BLAM!

Dog Girl's foot slammed into his jaw.

WHAM!──Vixen's fist collided with his stomach.

A brutal flurry of attacks.

He didn't bleed, but he staggered.

Judy pumped her fist.

"YES!"

Then—

An unnoticed motion occurred behind her.

A shine of steel. A whisper in the air.

Invisible Woman appeared.

A dagger in hand.