Harry Potter and the Fortunate Queen

Chapter 468 - Endings and New Beginnings

Chris sat down on the ground in front of the grave. She stared at Jason's name on the grave for she didn't know how long.

"You know . . . I wish you had stayed the way you were last year," Chris mumbled as her throat started to close up. "It was easier to hate you than this . . . At least you would have been alive."

Chris's eyes burned and her vision blurred with tears, but she cleared her throat and tried not to cry.

"I wish I could go back to hating you, I wish you would still be that cynical self-preserving Slytherin I met in the first year, the jerk who didn't care about anyone else, the boy I . . . fell in love with . . . I wish you had stayed the same person rather than this. Anything is better than this. I wish you never had met me if that's how it was supposed to end."

Tears finally spilled out of her eyes and it took her another several minutes before she could talk again.

"I'm not going to pretend that I will ever forgive myself for this. Maybe you would want me to . . . of course you would want me to but I can't . . . I will not. I will always carry this with me. I will always remember that I am the reason you are not here. I'm sorry. I truly am."

Chris fell quiet and silently wept until her eyes dried up or her body became too tired. She saw the sun getting high in the sky and realized it was getting late in the morning. She knew she needed to go because any moment now Jason's mother was going to come to visit her son's grave and she would be in more pain and more furious if she saw Chris.

So Chris got up, looked at Jason's name with her blood red eyes.

"Thank you," she touched the tombstone. "I won't insult you by calling you brave, so, thank you for being you. Thank you for everything."

***

It took Chris another week to visit all the graves, and on the last day she arrived to visit Remus and Tonks's grave with Harry. Since they died holding hands, they were buried together with one tombstone with both their names. It was extremely hard for both Chris and Harry. They almost spent an entire day on the graveyard that day.

The plan for the way back home was Harry dropping Chris at her house first and then going back to the Grimmauld Place, where he was living with Sirius and Aurelia for now. But Chris noticed that Harry wasn't doing so well, so she decided to go back to the Grimmauld Place with him and stay the night there.

"You don't have to, you know," Harry said as they reached the street of Grimmauld Place.

"I already sent Dad a message," Chris replied. "And I have to if you keep saying you are fine."

"I am fine," Harry insisted but Chris just stared at him, so he caved. "I mean kind of."

"Yeah, I know, Chris said as they stopped between the 11th and 13th Grimmauld Place.

Suddenly, Chris tensed realizing that now that she wasn't a witch, the Grimmauld Place might not open up for her. Wordlessly, Harry took Chris's hand as if he already knew what Chris was thinking. The very next second, the gate of 12 Grimmauld Place appeared and Chris breathed a sigh of relief. Still holding her hand, Harry led her inside and she couldn't help but smile slightly.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" Chris asked as they entered the house.

"I . . ." Harry turned red. "I didn't know what you were thinking. But I have thought of all the magical places and ways for you to bypass the wizard rules just in case."

Chris's smile got a bit wider at Harry's thoughtfulness.

"So you thought of all the wizarding places that I might not get in now?"

"I think you can get anywhere if I'm with you, I can always make sure that you –" Harry was abruptly interrupted by Chris's sudden kiss.

"Thank you," Chris whispered as she pulled back just a little bit.

Their faces were still very close, so Harry rested his forehead against hers and smiled. After the day they had, filled with grief, guilt and tears, this was peaceful.

However, just as Harry's shoulder started to relax, a loud voice broke their trance. Sirius's voice came from the kitchen and Harry looked down, the smile disappearing from his face. Immediately, Chris's face turned serious with concern.

"What's going on?" She asked. "Why is Sirius yelling?"

"Sirius . . ." Harry sighed. "He is not dealing with Remus's passing well, especially now that even Aurelia is leaving too."

"Aurelia is leaving?" Chris was surprised considering Aurelia's talk with Chris's father the last time they met. Her father advised her to stay with Sirius to support him, but now she was leaving?

"Yeah, she told Sirius and me two days ago, and since then, Sirius has been . . . cranky," Harry said as Sirius's yelling got a bit louder.

" . . . not what I asked, you stupid house elf!"

Chris and Harry slowly walked closer to the kitchen, maybe to stop him from yelling at poor Kreacher, the Black family house elf. But before they could enter the kitchen, a soft voice spoke up.

"Stop yelling at him, Sirius, I asked him to make you some food," Aurelia said quietly but firmly. "Since you haven't eaten anything since yesterday. And even yesterday, you just nibbled at the sandwich Harry made you."

Sirius got quiet for a moment before speaking in a lowered but still angry voice,

"It's none of your concern."

"How . . ." Aurelia sounded exasperated. "How is that not my concern? You are practically starving yourself, Sirius? How will you survive like this?"

"I survived Azkaban for 12 years," Sirius retorted. "Unfortunately for you, I will survive this too."

"Unfortunately? For me? What exactly do you mean, Sirius?" The anger was apparent in Aurelia's voice too. "Why don't you speak directly?"

"What's there to speak about? I'm becoming a problem for you. You're tired of me. That's the reason you're so eager to leave, aren't you?"

"Sirius, I'm not leaving tomorrow," Aurelia sighed. "I just said I might leave in a few days. My work . . . they are asking for me. It has nothing to do with you."

But the way, Aurelia said the last part so very quietly made even Chris wonder if Aurelia was telling the truth. So of course, Sirius picked it up as well.

"You can't even look me in the eye," Sirius sounded defeated. "Why do you think that, Auri?"

"I – it's not that –" suddenly Aurelia's voice became hoarse and stopped.

"Auri, are you ok? What is –?" Sirius sounded very worried.

Chris and Harry exchanged a worried look as well and peeked inside to see Aurelia looking very pale as she held her hands over her mouth and was doubling over as if she was about to throw up.

"Aurelia is still not ok?" Harry whispered to himself, then told Chris. "I saw her throwing up two days ago too. She said it was just a little something she ate."

"I'm fine, Sirius," Aurelia said after a moment, she calmed herself down. Though she still looked pale.

"No, you are not," Sirius said looking frazzled. "What is it? What's going on? Did something happen? Did I do something? Was it something I said? Why are you leaving me too? Just tell me!"

Sirius ran a hand through his already tangled and messy hair and his eyes looked bloodshot and crazy as he spoke. Aurelia stared at him for a long minute and her gaze felt concerned yet hesitant. Only then did Chris realise what she and Harry were doing. They were openly eavesdropping on Sirius and Aurelia. At first, she stopped at the doorway because she didn't want to intrude, but now it felt like she was witnessing an intimate moment between Sirius and Aurelia, which she and Harry should not have. As soon as the thought crossed Chris's mind, she backed away and pulled back Harry with her.

"We should let them talk," She whispered, but Harry looked back at the kitchen doorway like he wanted to know what was going on. However, after a second of hesitation, he nodded and they started to back away.

"I'm pregnant."

Aurelia's voice made both Chris and Harry freeze in their steps.

"You are WHAT?" Sirius sounded shocked.

"Look, you do not have to explain anything. I won't ask you to take responsibility or anything. You don't have to be in this child's life. I can manage this on my own. I didn't want to tell you this in the first place, that's why I am leaving," Aurelia's voice sounded very clipped and professional as if she was trying not to show any emotions behind her words.

There was a stunned silence on the other end. Chris guessed Sirius was speechless or maybe he had fainted hearing the news but then his voice broke the silence.

"Why?" He asked calmly. "Why don't you want me to be around our child? Do you already know I would be a foul father?"

"What?" It was Aurelia's turn to be surprised. "No, of course not – Sirius, did you forget that you promised your mother you would never continue the Black family line? That this pure blood family will die with you? I know how much this family has tormented you, how much you hate them. How can I expect you to do this?"

"I . . . did. Right, I did promise her that," Sirius's voice became quieter. "But do you really think a promise to my horrible dead mother would be more important to me than my own child and you? . . . I love you, Auri. I have for a long time now."

There was a brief pause on the other end before Aurelia replied, her voice thick with emotion. "I love you too, Sirius. Of course, I do."

This time it was Harry, who pulled Chris towards the stairs.

"Let's go," Harry said making a face. "I don't want to hear anything weird anymore."

Chris chuckled and let him pull her after him. As they reached the stairs, they heard Sirius speaking again,

"One month? You have been pregnant for more than one month? You were pregnant while fighting in the battle? Anything could have happened to you . . . what would have I done? I was already worried about you and now –" Sirius sounded like he was crying.

"Sirius, calm down, I am fine. We are fine," Chris heard Aurelia say before Chris and Harry climbed farther up the stairs and went to Harry's room.

[To be continued]