How to Steal the Protagonist's Women

Ficker!

A small light flickered repeatedly from the ruby.

"..."

"..."

"XX:..."

[...] 

Viola, Armonia, my dick, and I—everyone remained silent.

Except for one bastard.

[For lunch earlier, I had chicken soup...]

Fucking vlog...

I've been watching this guy for a while now, and he's got a personality shift that puts Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to shame.

He's a completely different person from what my intel suggested.

That cheerful smile—once that guy arrives, he'll pound me a thousand times into a cutlet and deep-fry me in the fires of hell.

I calculated my options as quickly as possible and arrived at one possible outcome.

'Armonia.'

[Yes.]

'Let's stick to the original plan. Any response from Zodiac regarding our plan yet?'

[I sent a transmission, but there's no definitive response yet. However, there is a faster way to resolve this.]@@novelbin@@

'What is it?'

[You could personally travel to Zodiac and explain the situation. Even with warp travel, it would take approximately two days. During that time, communication and Enel usage would be impossible.]

Advice and Enel—could I really overcome the handicap of losing both?

But there was no other way.

'Got it. Go quickly!'

[Understood. Just in case, I'll enable personality traits for all key individuals so you can monitor them. You'll also receive alerts for any changes. …Please be careful.]

With those final words, Armonia's transmission ended.

As she had mentioned, a status window appeared above Viola's head, and another one above mine.

Confirming the transmission was cut off, I turned to Viola.

Her face had gone pale—so much so that she seemed like a completely different person from the Viola I knew.

Clutching onto me, she looked up with urgency and spoke.

"We have to leave now! I-If my brother finds out… I don't care what happens to me, but..."

Viola urged me to leave, tightly wrapping her arms around my waist.

She didn't want to let go.

I placed both hands on either side of her head and spoke.

"Viola, come with me."

"Huh?"

I finished what I hadn't been able to say earlier.

The original plan was to stay here with Viola (while also training her), get confirmation from Zodiac that the mission was successful, retrieve Enel first, and then take Viola back to Kivotos.

I had intended to gradually persuade her to come with me, but... there was no time for that anymore.

This plan only worked under the assumption that Viola would follow me.

If she refused, it would all be meaningless.

But I was certain she would.

Her longing for the outside world, her desire to be free from her brother, the rejection from those around her—

I had given her a way to escape all of it.

She would follow me.

"Yes! I'll go with you, Suho!"

"Thank you for trusting me."

"But… what about my brother…?"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything."

To ease her concerns, I kissed her.

As I prepared to leave, Viola looked at me with fearful eyes, pleading for me to stay.

She seemed uneasy, likely overwhelmed by everything happening all at once.

I understood how she felt, but there was something important I had to do today.

I managed to leave after promising to return tomorrow.

Before I left, Viola made sure I had unrestricted access to the secret passage and urged me to come back.

***

Outside, the night had already turned into early dawn.

I made my way back to the village chief's house.

This time, instead of climbing through the window like before, I used the key I had received yesterday.

Click!

"For a guy who locks my door so securely, he sure doesn't mind leaving his own house wide open..."

I carefully stepped inside the chief's home.

According to the old woman, the chief knew something.

If that was the case, he might have left behind some records for himself.

"I know it's on the second floor..."

Upon reaching the second floor, I found three rooms.

But it was easy to tell which one belonged to the chief.

"Seriously, who the hell labels their own bedroom door with 'Chief'...?"

Was he really that proud of his title?

I hesitated for a moment before testing the doorknob.

It turned easily.

So, he locked my door but left his own completely open?

Did he think locking just my room was enough to keep everything safe?

As soon as I stepped inside, I was greeted by the sound of loud snoring.

Grrrrk!

"...Haa..."

I was already starting to miss Armonia.

She wouldn't snore, would she? …Then again, if she did, that might actually be kind of cute.

GRRRROOOOK!

Ugh, I needed to find something quickly just to stop hearing that.

Shaking off my random thoughts, I activated the mana stone I had received from the patrolman.

Shuuuuuung!

A sudden burst of light illuminated the room—so bright it could put Tien Shinhan's Solar Flare to shame.

Shit! This is way too bright! Am I about to get caught?!

GRRRROOOOK!

"..."

Just in case, I grabbed what looked like a random rag from the floor and placed it over the chief's eyes.

GRRRROOOOK!

"..."

That snoring was as unbearable as that damn hero's vlog.

I started searching the room.

Thud, tap, creak, thump….

GRRRROOOOK!!

"...Might as well search properly."

Looking at the chief, I was once again reminded of just how peaceful this village was.

Back in the big city, even the smallest noise at night would wake me up, thinking my sister was sneaking in to steal my money.

As I rummaged through the room, I opened the wardrobe—and there it was.

A safe, nestled between the clothes.

The safe was made of metal, but rusted in several places.

"Okay~ Armonia, unlock the—Shit!"

I was screwed.

Armonia wasn't here.

And the safe was way too heavy for me to just pick up and take with me.

"Well, there's gotta be a key somewhere."

I resumed searching the room.

But the only thing I found was…

"What the hell… Why does the chief even have this...?"

A lockpick.

A damn lockpicking tool.

For those unfamiliar, a lockpick is a tool used to bypass locks.

And here it was, in the chief's house.

But no key in sight.

"Wait a minute..."

I checked the chief's personality traits, and two things stood out.

-[Kleptomania], [Old-School Lockpicking Lv.23]-

"What the hell… Don't tell me he opens this safe without a key?"

Judging by how well-maintained the lockpick was, he must have taken care of it regularly.

A village chief with thief skills.

I've seen all kinds of people in this world, but seriously...

But now...

I was stuck.

Coming all this way only to leave empty-handed?

If there was a safe, it had to contain something valuable—either treasure or important documents.

Without thinking too much, I shoved the lockpick into the safe's keyhole and started jiggling it around.

"Damn it… How am I supposed to—huh?"

[Old-School Lockpicking Lv.1 has been unlocked.]

[Due to Hand Technique Lv.555, the level has been adjusted to 25.]

A new trait had been added to my skill set.

-[Old-School Lockpicking Lv.25]-

Thanks to this, unlocking the safe was a breeze.

I had never used a lockpick before in my life, yet my hands moved effortlessly, opening the safe as if I had done it a hundred times.

"I should probably talk to Armonia about this later… Not that she'd have any answers either."

I had no idea why this was happening, but for now, the only thing that mattered was what was inside the safe.

I peered inside.

Right in front of me, two fake crystal pearls sat there, almost as if greeting me.

Below them, a pile of precious metals filled the bottom of the safe.

"These look real enough… Ah! There it is."

Hidden beneath the gems, a stack of documents caught my eye.

A quick glance at the contents told me what they were.

A journal.

"So he does have a family. He's just living here alone."

His daughter had married the lord's son. His son was working as an administrator managing the lord's lands. His wife seemed to be living well in the estate as well.

Judging by most of the entries, the chief wanted to leave this place as soon as possible.

"Hm… Seems pretty normal so far... Oh?"

Some of the older documents weren't journals—they were more like archives.

And in those archives…

"…This lunatic… How many people did he kill?"

Names of people killed by the hero, along with descriptions of the incidents, were recorded in disturbing detail.

And it wasn't just here—there were records of incidents from the estate as well.

A quick skim was enough to see that the number wasn't just in the dozens… No, it had to be at least a hundred.

"I'm taking this."

I grabbed one of the chief's old robes and wrapped up the valuables and journals, tying them securely before leaving the room.

Except for the fake crystal pearls. Those could stay.

I stashed the stolen items inside the secret passage within the tree and went to sleep.

The next morning, as I walked out into the living room, the chief was already there, waiting for me with a blank expression.

"Make me breakfast."

...This bastard. He said that as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

But I couldn't use Enel right now.

"I'm sorry. I'm feeling unwell today, but I'll make sure to cook for you tomorrow."

"Ugh… Useless. Absolutely useless! Fine."

The chief stomped up the stairs and slammed his door shut.

"What a goddamn piece of trash…."

Luckily, the chief hadn't checked the state of the safe yet.

He probably didn't open it often—who constantly checks their own safe anyway?

I left the house, grabbed the chief's stolen bundle from where I had hidden it yesterday, and headed out of the village.

I was going to see the old woman.

The moment she saw me, she gave me a sharp glare, clearly unimpressed.

"What is it this time?"

"I have something to tell you."

***

"Why the hell would I—"

"You'll like it. Trust me."

"Ugh… Fine! Get going."

After parting ways with the old woman, I returned to the village.

30 minutes later—In the village.

I had to shake off a bunch of clingy women before I could finally track down the patrol guard I always met.

I discreetly pulled the excited She-Hulk into a secluded alley to talk.

"I think I'm free tonight. How about a drink—"

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!"

What the hell?!

She suddenly let out a lion's roar, making the surrounding treehouses tremble.

The animals lurking in the alleys scattered as if an earthquake had hit, and people ran out of their homes like they had just received an emergency war alert.

I barely managed to calm her down and told her to meet me outside the village later.

The meeting spot? The old woman's house.

"W-What? Why not just go to a tavern?"

"Lately, it's been hard to get any privacy… I figured we could… you know, just the two of us…"

…Goddammit.

This was excruciatingly embarrassing.

Why the hell did I have to flirt with She-Hulk just to get her to drink with me?

But hey, it worked.

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!"

Her roar echoed like the dramatic voiceover from an arcade game when a cursed sword gets unsealed.

Honestly, given her sheer physicality, she could probably rip apart a hundred cursed swords with her bare hands.

"Oh, and one more thing—"

***

"YES! I'll definitely be there!! Hahaha~!!"

"See you later, then."

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE."

Satan's personal patrol guard…

If I actually ended up drinking with her until midnight, I doubted I'd survive as myself.

Not that I planned to drink in the first place.

With that settled, I immediately made my way to the secret passage leading to Viola's house.

***

The moment I arrived, Viola ran straight into my arms.

"I was worried you wouldn't come…"

"Come on, why would I do that?"

I kissed her and explained everything to her.

Viola and I held each other as I gently lifted her left hand.

"Viola..."

"Yes?"

"I truly love you."

"Hic… How can you say that…? I'm so happy."

"Thank you for trusting me."

"I… I love you too."

As we kissed, I cheered inwardly.

"Philia, my first love… thank you! I think I can finally let you go. From now on, my first woman is Viola!"