I Don't Need To Log Out

The Gamers Guild members were, once again, gathered outside a fast food restaurant.

It had become something of a tradition—meeting up, sharing a meal, and talking about everything from the game to real life. But this time, there was a slight change.

Instead of just the usual five, there was one extra person with them.

Maria.

She looked around at the group, still somewhat surprised. "Wow… I never thought I'd actually meet any of you IRL."

Pierre smirked. "We live close by, so it's not that surprising. And besides, it doesn't count. EVR is IRL too."

Maria rolled her eyes. "You know what I meant." Then, with a softer smile, she added, "But still, thanks for inviting me."

The group had extended the invite since they were all within a reasonable distance from each other, and Maria was only a year older than them. It didn't feel out of place.

They had considered inviting others as well, but there were… complications.

For one, Arlon would never agree to share his personal information. That was a line he had always been firm on, and no one questioned it.

Then there was Evan and Carmen.

Unlike the rest of them, they lived farther away. On top of that, they were still minors, meaning travel would be a hassle.

Well, Evan was a minor for the next two months. Carmen was already 18 for almost a month now.

It was June who had ultimately put the discussion to rest.

"This is an important topic. If it were up to me, I wouldn't let Evan and Carmen join us even in the game," she had said when they were considering inviting them.

They hadn't argued. They all understood what she meant.

Because even though it had gone unsaid, they knew what they would be talking about today.

Next week.

The upcoming Field Training would mark the beginning of their real battles.

They would be heading back onto the battlefield—back to fighting against the Keldars.

They didn't know exactly who they would face yet. But they knew what it meant.

This time, it wouldn't just be about survival.

It wouldn't just be a mission.

For the first time in their lives, they would fight with the intent to kill.

Voluntarily.

Again, since they had already accepted it, they had no intention of turning back on their words.

They had made their choice.

And they knew that what they were about to do was something heroic.

Even though their own lives weren't at risk, the reality was that they would be saving countless others.

But that didn't make it any easier.

Because for people who had grown up in a peaceful world, killing had never been a necessity.

It was one thing to fight. To push forward, to survive. But choosing to kill? That was different.

That was why they had decided to talk things out—not to seek a way out, but to at least lighten the weight on their shoulders.

Maria leaned back in her chair, exhaling. "Again, thanks for inviting me. Last time, Arlon was the one I talked to, and he helped a lot. But I don't think I can bother him again."

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She was talking about the time she had spoken with him before deciding whether or not to join the training with the goal of killing Keldars.

At the time, she had accepted the offer, partly because of the push she had gotten from Arlon.

She didn't regret that decision.

But she still needed to breathe.

Lei gave her a reassuring nod. "No problem at all. We're actually in the same boat, so you being here helps just as much."

Zack, for once, was uncharacteristically silent.

It wasn't like him. Normally, he had some kind of comment—whether sarcastic, confident, or just plain ridiculous.

But tonight, his mind was elsewhere, and everyone could see it.

Ironically, the one with the most determination was Carole. Just like last time.

But no one assumed it was because she wouldn't have to kill anyone as a healer.

They all knew better than that.

Because Carole had already made it clear—she would fight too.

She had been training the new techniques she learned from Mirek, preparing herself. She wouldn't stand on the sidelines.

Maria glanced at her, then at the others.

"So, what do you think?" she asked. "Anyone having cold feet?"

There was a short silence before Zack finally spoke, his voice quieter than usual.

"Not cold feet," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "But… it's hard. I'm gonna be honest—if I were in a random group with strangers, I'd probably just… pretend to fight and leave the killing to someone else."

It was a shameful thing to admit.

But from the way the others looked at him, it was clear they understood.

June leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. "That's not surprising," she said.

Zack frowned slightly. "You're not gonna give me crap for that?"

"No," June said simply. "Because it's normal. It's always been normal. Even on Earth."

She glanced at the others before continuing.

"Back in the day, I read about real-world battles. Do you know how many soldiers actually shot to kill?"

No one answered.

"Less than one-fifth," she said. "Most of them just fired randomly, avoiding their enemies altogether. It was their way of coping—telling themselves they were fighting without actually having to live with taking a life."@@novelbin@@

She let that sink in before adding, "Especially in modern wars."

Zack exhaled through his nose. "Yeah… I guess that makes sense."

June nodded. "So, it's okay to feel that way. But this time, I don't think we have the option to do that. Our numbers are already too low."

Zack immediately straightened. "I wasn't gonna do that anyway," he said quickly. "It was just a thought. If I leave the load to you, I'd feel bad."

Lei smirked slightly. "That's a relief. We weren't planning on carrying you anyway."

Zack rolled his eyes. "Great. Thanks for the support."

The group chuckled, but the weight of the conversation still lingered.

Because they all knew the truth.

This wasn't a hypothetical conversation anymore. It wasn't something they could put off.

They didn't actually have a way to ease each other's minds.

But talking always helped.

Even if it didn't provide solutions, at least it made the burden a little lighter.

Lei leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. "So, you said you talked to Arlon last time. I didn't think he was the kind of guy who'd care."

"You're right," Pierre chimed in with a smirk. "The guy knew this world was real, yet he still killed Keldars without batting an eye. I'm telling you, he has to be a criminal."

Maria chuckled at his tone. "I don't think that's it," she said. "But yeah, he's definitely… different."

She let out a small breath, her expression softening.

"He really helped me a lot. You guys had each other to rely on, but I was alone. No one to talk to, no one to lean on. So I consulted him."

Pierre raised an eyebrow. "And what, he just gave you some grand wisdom?"

Maria shook her head. "Not exactly. He didn't give me an answer. Instead, he taught me how to create excuses for myself."

Lei frowned slightly. "Excuses?"

Maria nodded. "Ways to justify what we're about to do. Reasons that will let us live with it."

The table fell quiet for a moment.

She continued, her voice steady but thoughtful.

"I think he's right. If we want to do this, we have to convince ourselves. Make it simple. Tell ourselves things like, 'Keldars would kill the children in Trion if we don't stop them' or 'They're the real bad guys.'"

She looked down at her hands for a moment before looking back up.

"This is exactly why I accepted the offer. Because at the end of the day, someone has to do it. And if not us… then who?"

Lei tapped his fingers on the table, thinking. Pierre exhaled through his nose, arms still crossed.

They all knew she had a point.

It wasn't about feeling justified. It was about finding a way to live with their choices.

And that was something only they could do for themselves.