I May Be a Virtual Youtuber, but I Still Go to Work

— Parallel (VTuber) Gallery —
[?????????????????????????????]

Am I dreaming right now?

A few days ago, the Battle Colosseum forum was full of rumors about Signal Flare being a woman.

And I was sitting there, laughing my ass off, going,
"Idiots, it's obviously just voice chat trickery. How are you falling for this? LMAO."

But it was real?

Signal Flare is actually a woman?

Her voice is stupidly my type, but—

I can’t help getting pissed because I’ve run into this damn woman too many times as an enemy.
Every time, I got my head blown off by those damn double-barrels.

(Ma-tak emoji)

[Comments]
— Parallel831: Damn, that’s a reward.
— Parallel091: Oh, you got rewarded for all that suffering?
— Parallel425: Someone get this guy a mod badge.

— Parallel152: Wasn’t the Battle Colosseum forum literally just a support group for people getting their asses kicked by some elementary schooler yesterday? LMAO
ㄴ Parallel315: Dude, barely any MongMongs hang out there.
ㄴ Parallel315: Most of them didn’t even watch Find Rain, that’s why.
ㄴ Parallel315: If they had, they’d be losing their minds right now like, “Wait, YOU were YOU?!”
ㄴ Parallel914: For real. You only see what you know.

As expected from the Momo Gallery post that just went up—chat was going insane the moment they saw Magia’s username: "Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks."

The reactions were mixed.

First, there were the social butterflies—the only VTuber they cared about was Rain.
These were the newcomers who had discovered Rain after she featured on a track for last season’s Show Me the Rhyme runner-up. Their reactions were lukewarm.

— What the hell is Signal Flare, you weebs?
— Here they go again, getting excited over their niche nonsense.
— Is this about a game?
— There was a Signal Flare in Battle Colosseum?

Next, there were the Battle Colosseum junkies who followed both Momo and Rain.
These were the ones who praised Momo during her own streams, then facepalmed in Rain’s chat whenever she talked about Momo’s beyond atrocious gameplay.
They were the kind of people who hated how bad Momo was at games but kept coming back for more—like addicts who couldn't quit their fix.

Naturally, they immediately recognized the infamous troll.

— HOLY SHIT LOL
— I FOUND THE LAST PIECE OF THE PUZZLE
— I thought that voice sounded familiar.
— Wait, so Employee D, Momo’s manager, AND Signal Flare were all the same person? WTF.

Finally, there were the diehard first-gen fans who had tuned in purely because of Find Rain.
They had zero interest in gaming discourse. Their only priority was forcing Magia to debut as a VTuber.

It was like they had formed an entire Magia Debut Promotion Committee overnight.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: Info: Signal Flare doesn’t stream, but they have their own page on TreeWiki. ::

— Bro, I just checked, there’s no page. WTF.
— Is this true??
— Of course not, dumbass.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: Her voice is cute, her impressions are spot-on, her rapping is fire, she’s cracked at games—DAMN IT, WHAT CAN’T YOU DO, EMPLOYEE D??? ::

— This dude is already simping.
— Damn, people are out here donating bone broth.

The audience was fractured into distinct groups, like oil and water refusing to mix.

And with Rain momentarily stunned into silence, the entire chat had basically devolved into a collective monologue.

From an outsider’s perspective, it looked like a sound issue or a stream malfunction.

TreeWiki editors were already getting ready to add a new Incident section to Rain’s page.

But in reality, this brief moment of silence was just Cheon Do-hee waiting.

Waiting to see how Magia would react.

…So she’s trying to just ride this out quietly.

Even if she wasn’t a streamer, she had to realize—this was the perfect timing to own the moment.

Chat, donations—every single message was about Signal Flare and Employee D.
If she wanted to make a name for herself, there wouldn’t be a better chance than right now.

But Gia firmly believed she was below the VTubers of Parallel.

Even with countless hands reaching out, it never occurred to her that they might be reaching out for her.

…Does she not realize that staying silent will just make the fire burn hotter?
This woman was infuriatingly brilliant in the worst ways.

Still, Do-hee had anticipated this outcome.

She finally spoke up.

"Okay. I’m sure a lot of you have questions about our dear Employee D’s in-game username. If you’ve watched my streams, you already know, but—yeah, it kinda just…turned out this way."

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: So the rumors about Signal Flare becoming Momo’s manager were real?? ::

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: Wait, so she actually got locked in a basement to stop her from sniping Momo?? LOL ::

"We didn’t lock her up—we hired her as a manager. And she was good at her job, so we promoted her to staff."

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: FREE EMPLOYEE D!! ::

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: 😭😭😭 Poor Employee D, trapped inside Parallel forever… 😭😭😭 ::

"Hey, I just said we didn’t lock her up!"

Of course, no matter how much Momo tried to cover for her, it wasn’t good if Gia stayed completely silent.

15,000 people were here for one reason.
They wanted to see Employee D.
They wanted to hear from Magia.

If their expectations weren’t met, their excitement would turn to disappointment.

And it was already happening.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: But seriously, can’t Employee D speak for herself? ::

— Fr
— She just said hi and went radio silent. Puddles are SEETHING.
— The leaves are gonna rot.
— The round boi’s gonna square up.
— The chuling’s about to breathe fire.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::
:: Guys, have some awareness. The boss literally told her to keep quiet. ::

— Oh shit.
— Damn.
— 👀
— Poor Employee D.
— DICTATOR MOMO, FREE EMPLOYEE D!!!

Even with all the backlash, Magia would not directly engage with chat.

This was Rain’s stream, and CEO Do-hee was present, too.

Would she just keep dodging until the stream ended, leaving everyone disappointed?

No.

That’s why Do-hee was here. To manage expectations and to shield her.

"Employee D. The people want you to speak for yourself. What do you think?"

[About what?]

"They want you to explain why you’re Signal Flare."@@novelbin@@

[Do I need to? I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong to the viewers.]

"Oh, but you have done something wrong to me?"

[Yes. Mmm. But I’ve reflected on that a lot since becoming a manager.]

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: I keep flinching whenever I hear her voice. You are Signal Flare, huh? LOL ::

— At least she admits her crimes LOL.
— She didn’t do anything to us, though~
— For real.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: Remember the Ultra Rage Momo arc. ::

— Hey, it’s Ultra Rage Momo. Get it right.
— Watch yourself.
— Goodbye.

No matter how much chat whined, Magia wouldn’t budge.

And soon enough, they’d realize—the only way to interact with her was through Do-hee.

Eventually, they’d ease off.

More than anything, Magia’s ridiculously cute voice would make it impossible for them to stay mad.

Despite the casual way she spoke, Gia’s voice had a childlike innocence to it—like she might actually start crying if they pushed her too hard.

Of course, thanks to her overwhelming cuteness, Momo’s long-dead reputation as a violent tyrant was suddenly making a comeback.

Not that it mattered. The important thing was that people saw Gia as someone who needed to be protected.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::
:: Employee D, you’re not being hit at work or anything, right? ::

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: If the Sashimi Master of Gwanro-dong is your boss, I’d be scared too… I’d have pissed myself the moment I saw her face. ::

Seriously, how long had it been since Do-hee casually mentioned that her parents ran a seafood restaurant?
This ridiculous rumor had been going strong for years now.

Do-hee clicked her tongue in irritation.
“What the hell was that dono? You trying to get a Parallel-wide permaban?”

— Scratched?
— She’s scratched.
— Violent Oppressive Dictator Momo confirmed.

Of course, Do-hee was a pro. She knew how to turn even this into content—and use it to her advantage.

“You see what happens when you don’t talk, Employee D? Now people are misunderstanding things. Clear it up for them.”

[The CEO got hit more than me. I kept switching accounts to hunt her down.]

“…Hey.”

— This little shit.
— Look at how proud she is, LMAO.
— How did Momo survive this???

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::
:: So, uh… how many sniper accounts do you actually have? ::

“They’re asking how many sniper accounts you own.”

[That’s classified business information.]

— "Classified business information," my ass.
— What is she, a Michelin 3-star hitman?
— She’s gotta have at least ten.

As the back-and-forth continued, a realization dawned on the audience.

Wait. She’s got a sharp tongue.
If she used to be a troll, does that mean she used to beat the crap out of the CEO, too?

And so, curiosity sparked.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::
:: Be honest. You think the CEO is trash at games, don’t you? ::

“Hey! I’m not that bad! I still hit Gold before every season ends, right?”

[True. But… you do play like absolute garbage at the start of every season because you can’t adjust to the meta.]

“…What do you mean absolute garbage?”

[You’re dogshit at the start of every season. But I’ll at least say you’re better than Rain.]

[What the— Why am I catching strays all of a sudden?]

“Rain, shut up. You do suck. The fact that I’m being compared to you is what really offends me.”

[Noooooo.]

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::
:: You’re a Gold scrub. How are you even allowed to feel offended? ::

— LMAO
— Signal Flare’s probably Diamond at minimum.
— Now that I think about it, the fact that this adorable voice is the one running around with double-barrels is insane.
— Cuteness (Physical Damage).

Do-hee was dead serious about Battle Colosseum, so that comment actually stung.

“…So, Employee D Signal Flare. Are you gonna carry us today?”

And, of course, Gia took it just as seriously.

[It’s gonna be tough since I’ve got two deadweights. But I’ll try.]

“…There’s only one deadweight, Employee D.”

[No, there are two.]

[Wait. Am I the deadweight?]

[Rain is ten times heavier than the CEO. Not in body weight, of course.]

Her slight hesitation was all it took to set chat on fire.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::
:: ???: "Rain actually weighs 0.5 tons." ::

— 500kg???
— Not even a 3-plate squat, she’s just casually half a ton??
— HUGE RAIN DAIMAXXXED.

BAM!

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 100,000 Clouds! ::
:: So you’re not a goddess—you’re a forklift. It all makes sense now. No wonder you keep breaking keyboards. ::

— A FORKLIFT, LMAO.
— I’M LOSING IT.
— Dammit, I laughed. My pride hurts.
— LOL.
— Bro, I just spat out my drink.

It was a bit chaotic, but the dynamic had been fully established.
Chat baited.
Do-hee and Rain set up.
Gia spiked it home.

Sure, all the punches landed on Do-hee and Rain.
But that was actually great for Do-hee.

A streamer needed to be able to hit their audience…
But they also had to take hits like a pro.

— Parallel (VTuber) Gallery —

[This is… an employee?]

(a_lot_of_reflection.clip)
(actually_i_hit_her.clip)
(business_secret_♡.clip)
(forklift.clip)

At first, she wasn’t talking much.
I thought, Yeah, she’s a normal person. Maybe she’s struggling a little.

But the MOMENT Momo opened the floodgates, she turned into an absolute riot.

Why the hell is this woman just doing office work???
If Momo doesn’t make her a full-time streamer, I swear to god—

(Recommended: 351) (Disliked: 1)

[Comments]
— Parallel155: Thought her voice was adorable at first. But now that I know she’s Signal Flare, she’s just straight-up a comedian.
— Parallel561: So this is the kind of person that becomes a troll, huh? LOL.
— Parallel415: I can’t believe we only get to see this today.
ㄴ Parallel816: REEEEE FREE EMPLOYEE D!!!
— Parallel683: The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. Let’s go raid Momo’s stream.
ㄴ Parallel861: +1.
ㄴ Parallel251: (Agreed emoji)
ㄴ Parallel901: +200,000.
ㄴ Parallel009: If Momo doesn’t bring her back after this, she should just quit streaming.

— Parallel (VTuber) Gallery —

[Attention, Momo, who is currently streaming]

Release Employee D.

If you do not comply, we will begin mass-posting cursed memes to Momo Gallery, Dora Gallery, Komari Gallery, Maru Gallery, and Rain Gallery every hour after the stream ends.

Consider this your final warning.

[Comments]
— Parallel716: Momo’s the one holding her hostage, so why do the mods have to suffer?
ㄴ Parallel536: Who said it’d only be the mods?
— Parallel325: At least this gallery doesn’t have 　　　 .
ㄴ Parallel536: Yet.
ㄴ Parallel771: MODS, GET HIM!!!
ㄴ Parallel124: Yeah, I think I’ll take a break from the forums for a few days.