I May Be a Virtual Youtuber, but I Still Go to Work

The double-barrel shotgun was one of the loudest weapons in Battle Colosseum, rivaling even the anti-materiel sniper rifle from random supply drops.

But no matter how loud a gunshot was, it was easy to miss in the chaos of a battlefield—especially for stream snipers who had to keep checking both their own position and the location of their favorite VTubers.

BOOM! BOOM!

{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> (Headshot) iIIiiIIiIiIiIII }}

With two shots, one enemy fell.

{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> momoMyomyoMyoMyoMyo }}
{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> (Headshot) MomoPeachPeachMomoPeach }}

{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> (Kill) iIIiiIIiIiIiIII }}
{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> (Kill) momoMyomyoMyoMyoMyo }}
{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> (Kill) MomoPeachPeachMomoPeach }}

As three names instantly appeared on the kill feed, the viewers—who couldn’t see Gia’s screen—finally caught on.

— It’s started.
— Holy shit, did you see how fast she wiped that squad?!
— Damn LOL.
— This is what I call a signal flare.
— Her voice does NOT match this playstyle, WTF.
— I thought she was hacking for a second lmao.

And if enemies were dying near Gia, that meant loot.

[Ooh, Level 3 backpack. Jackpot.]

— LMAO.
— The CEO’s getting murdered, but Employee D is just looting.
— Momo’s gotta want to punch her right now.

Gia’s habit of mumbling while playing was getting broadcasted loud and clear—
And it made the situation even funnier.

On one side, her teammates were screaming for their lives.
On the other, she was casually stocking up.

The contrast was insane.

“Employee D?! Now is NOT the time to loot! We’re literally about to die!!!”

[It’s fine, CEO. I believe in you. Show them the power of your hard-earned battlefield experience.]

[EMPLOYEE D, HLP! SAVE ME!!!]

[Oh, a shield battery. Jackpot.]

[AAAAAAAAHHH.]

— This side’s playing a battle royale, that side’s playing a survival horror, and Gia’s just playing a farming sim…
— Rain’s louder here than she was in her actual rhythm game stream.
— Even the kidnappers would get tired and let her go LOL.
— Momo, please turn Rain’s volume down…

It looked like absolute chaos, but Gia was systematically taking down snipers.

The more attention the streamers attracted, the more freedom she had to rampage.

This was the unspoken agreement between her and Do-hee.

“CEO, you be the bait. I’ll do the hunting.”
“And if you fight back and kill a few yourself, that’s fine too.”

{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> (Kill) ILikeMySenior }}
{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> (Kill) VTuberLifeIsOver }}
{{ Human Signal Flare Kim Fireworks >> (Kill) MyChickenIsCold }}

The Pavlovian conditioning was so deeply ingrained that even as she was desperately fighting off enemies, Do-hee still found comfort in those kill logs.

As long as she stayed alive, Gia would come save her.

If there was ever a time to use the survival skills that Gia had drilled into her through Battle Colosseum’s worst torture matches, it was now.

And Factory was the perfect place to hold out.

A complex, multi-floor structure with rope ladders allowing for three-dimensional combat—
Her specialty.

As long as she didn’t mess up, she could stall for a long, long time.

Honestly?

It was all thanks to Gia.

If she stayed in an open field, stream snipers would hear the double-barrel shots and swarm.

So for survival, she had been forced to retreat into buildings.

— Wait, is Momo actually surviving longer than usual?
— Has she actually improved at this game???

But despite Do-hee’s surprising survival time, all eyes were still on Gia—
Because of her kill log.

There were so many snipers flooding Factory that Gia’s speed-clearing an entire squad stood out even more.

— Holy shit, Employee D’s kill feed hasn’t stopped for a second.
— How the hell does she wipe a squad and finish looting in under a minute?!
— How the fuck does she do this with just double-barrels???

Within just 10 minutes, the gunfire had significantly died down.

- - Survivors: 55 - -

Of the 35 people who had died, Gia had personally eliminated 17.

Excluding the few that had killed each other or been picked off by Momo,
The majority of deaths were all her doing.

At this point, the viewers were dying to know.

How the hell was she doing this?
They could hear the occasional BOOM—
But other than that? Nothing.

It was like watching an invisible war machine steamroll the battlefield.

— Shit.
— Rain, I think it’s time for you to die so we can get a perspective swap.
— This stream doesn’t have a channel-change button, huh?
— Can we… make that happen?

Basically, they were telling Rain to hurry up and die.

And she was not happy about it.

[Excuse me, Puddles. Just because I suck at this game doesn’t mean you should tell me to die. That’s just… very sad. Isn’t it?]

It had been lighthearted so far.

But then—

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: You’ve literally just been running away this whole time. ::

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: Should I just take out the nearest Puddle myself? ::

The moment it started crossing the line, Gia finally stepped in.

Her voice cut through the radio static like a knife.

[Puddles, if you keep telling Rain to die, I will start banning people.]

And the audience froze.

They had been thinking of her as Signal Flare.
Not as Parallel’s manager.

The realization hit them all at once.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 11,111 Clouds! ::
:: Employee D, please, have mercy. ::

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::
:: I was just kidding I was just kidding I was just kidding I was just kidding I was just kidding ::

Did Gia forgive them?

Not a chance.

[The person who donated 15 Clouds is getting a one-hour ban. That’s Rain’s exclusive donation amount.]

Do-hee, who had just finished wiping out a squad, was genuinely impressed.

She had thought Gia was just being an agent of chaos today—
But no.

Gia wasn’t just throwing them into hell for fun.
She was protecting Rain, too.

That said, Do-hee wasn’t above testing her luck.

“…Employee D. It’s been really rough over here. Wouldn’t it be nice if you came to help? I’m so tired…”

But while Gia’s approach to streaming was professional,

Her in-game personality?

Still an absolute menace.

[Five minutes. Sabondi Archipelago.]

“You little—”

— AHHAHAHA SHE’S MAKING YOU WAIT AGAIN.
— FIVE MORE MINUTES, SURVIVE ON YOUR OWN.
— NO CARRY FOR YOU.
— ALL ABOARD THE PAIN TRAIN.

***

Momo had always been the type to turn even the most persistent stream snipers into content.

As long as they weren’t actively ruining the match, she’d treat them like mischievous regulars rather than enemies.

After all, if they were going to show up anyway, it was better to beat the shit out of them than stress herself out trying to ban them all.

She was the kind of person who’d start a stream just to wrestle with these lunatics.

“Come at me with whatever move you’ve got. I’ll take it.”

Standing firm like a pro wrestler, shoulders squared, ready to take on all challengers.

Of course, being that tough of a punching bag meant she was constantly getting stream-sniped in both ranked and casual matches.

Even the snipers who would’ve stopped if she’d shown any signs of frustration—
They kept coming back because she never broke.

That’s why I picked Factory as our drop point.

On a day like today, snipers were inevitable.

And if anyone could survive in a hellhole like Factory?

It was Momo.

She’d become a specialist in these grueling indoor fights.

And I was right.

Unlike Rain, who was getting hunted like prey,
Momo was actually fighting back.

She was barely hanging on—her shields and health kept dipping into dangerous levels—
But she wasn’t dying.

It was like she was seriously trying to survive the full 20 minutes I had set.

[Ao! FUCKING stream snipers! Can you guys take a break?! And if you’re gonna rush me, at least all come at once! You coordinated this, didn’t you?! You planned it out!! What is this, a fucking fan meet-and-greet?! Why the hell are you lining up like this?!]

[CEO!! SAVE ME!!]

[YOU’RE DOWN AGAIN?!]

[These fucking Puddles keep knocking me down and running away!!]

[THEN KILL ONE, AT LEAST?!]

[I TRIED. I DID. CEO, why aren’t you empathizing with me? I’m about to feel so lonely, so very, very humid.]

— What the fuck is Rain even doing??
— Has she spent more time crawling than standing?!
— Shit, the stream’s getting humid.

I had set the 20-minute mark for a reason.

That was roughly the limit of how long Momo could hold out in Factory.

If she barely failed right before I arrived,
I could mess with her just a little more before saving her.

And it seemed like some of the old viewers had already realized what I was doing.

The ones who had been watching Momo for years?
They had already started reminiscing.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::
:: Shit. My old-man spine is standing up straight again. ::

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: Been busy with real life, so I haven’t watched a VTuber in years, but damn. Today’s stream makes me wanna come back. ::

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: Signal Flare, how could I ever forget you… ::

As they reminisced about the past,

I, too, was thinking about three years ago.

After all,

I loved hearing the CEO scream.

[Employee D?! Has it not been five minutes yet?!]

[FUCK! IT HURTS! STOP!!]

[STOP, YOU FUCKERS!]

[HOW MANY GODDAMN MOLOTOVS ARE YOU THROWING?!]

I loved it when she called me a bastard.

I loved it in her streams.
I loved it at work.
I loved it in DMs.
I loved it in chat channels.

I loved how, no matter where or when I provoked her,
she always reacted exactly the way I wanted.

And most of all—

I loved it when I finally arrived to save her
And she unleashed all her rage at me.

“CEO, I’m almost there. Are you still alive?”

[LOOK AT MY FUCKING HEALTH BAR. WHAT DO YOU THINK?! ARE YOU TAUNTING ME RIGHT NOW?!]@@novelbin@@

“Ah, you got me.”

[DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE?!]

Yes.

This was the sound I lived for.

— That’s workplace harassment.
— Threatening murder, huh?
— She came to help, and this is the thanks she gets LOL.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: Signal Flare was just trying to help, CEO. :( ::

[IF YOU WERE GONNA HELP, YOU SHOULD’VE FUCKING HELPED 20 MINUTES AGO! HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?!]

I snickered.

“Should I just turn around and leave, then?”

[ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!]

“You don’t seem that desperate.”

[YOU BASTARD—!!]

— EXCUSE ME, YOU NEED TO SAY “PLEASE HELP ME” FIRST.
— Say it nicely.
— Beg for it.

Sometimes,

When people feel too much happiness,
They start mumbling things they don’t really mean.

And when it happens,

They’re so dazed that they don’t even realize what they’ve said.

Like me. Right now.

“Hehe. It’d be nice if I could play with CEO like this every day.”

—Parallel (VTuber) Gallery—

[This is a green light, right?]

I was too focused on the stream to notice at the time,

But after replaying it a few times,

It’s so obvious.

(Hehe, it’d be nice if I could play with CEO like this every day. Clip)

If we interpret “like this” as “collabing”…

Doesn’t that mean she wants to keep appearing on Momo’s streams?

(Hmm… emote.)

(Ah-ha! emote.)

Momo was blocking her from streaming.

(Baseball bat emote.)

Momo must take responsibility and make Employee D debut as a VTuber.

[Comments]

— Parallel461: This kind of over-interpretation deserves an upvote.
— Parallel843: I’m moved…
— Parallel735: How do we have such wise scholars in this thread?

— Parallel019: Should I make a pilgrimage here?
ㄴ Parallel810: Please help me ace my exams.
ㄴ Parallel904: Please make my stocks moon.
ㄴ Parallel161: Please turn me into a cute anime girl.
ㄴ Parallel351: ???
ㄴ Parallel010: ???