I May Be a Virtual Youtuber, but I Still Go to Work

… ─── Parallel (VTuber) Forum ─── …

[?]
What the hell.

What’s going on with EmployeeD’s placard?????

(Upvotes: 395 / Downvotes: 0)

[Comments]
— Parallel784: EmployeeD?
ㄴ Parallel1 (OP): YEP YEP YEP YEP YEP.
ㄴ Parallel385: Did the mods get sick or something? LOL.
ㄴ Parallel711: This dude’s so starved for content he’s watching external streams LOL.
ㄴ Parallel784: FR LMAO, Parallel’s on full break today.
ㄴ Parallel784: No, seriously, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING???
ㄴ Parallel242: What is it?
ㄴ Parallel784: /movgun_mooving ["Mooving" | Special Guest for 4th Week of October Private Match]
ㄴ Parallel784: Go check it out.

[Mugeon / MovGun]

@movgun_mooving | 1.81M Followers
Former Battle Colosseum pro, now a full-time streamer.

Live | Special Guest for 4th Week of October Private Match | 22,994 viewers
#BattleColosseum #Parallel

The chat was moving even faster than when Momo’s viewership hit its peak.

This was what 23,000 live viewers looked like.
And that number was still climbing.

Livia from VachuVachu peaked at 40,000 once, and the chat speed had been about the same.
Momo once told me that even 5,000 viewers were enough to make reading chat impossible.

Maybe being good at FPS games really did help with reaction speed.

I waited patiently for the chaos in the chat to settle before I calmly introduced myself.

"Somehow, I ended up getting invited to this private match by Mugeon. So here I am, saying hello to everyone. Nice to meet you—I’m EmployeeD from the Parallel Operations Team."

— KYYYYAAAAAAAA
— THE GREAT MUGEON
— HE ACTUALLY DID IT
— Bro… I think I’m starting to respect you
— But seriously, what is that placard???
— Are you debuting???
— So cute
— No way, the placard and voice match so perfectly LOL
— Where do you stream???
— THIS WASN’T EVEN ANNOUNCED BUT LOOK AT THAT DESIGN WTF
— 1.5th gen confirmed???
— EMPLOYEE D! EMPLOYEE D! EMPLOYEE D!

"For reference, this illustration was drawn by first-gen talent, Akari Dora. Since I work for a VTuber company, the boss said it wouldn’t be right for me to join a match for official promotion with just a voice."

The chat was still going crazy,
but the moment I dropped the words promotion, official, employee—everything flipped.

— Promotion?
— What do you mean, EmployeeD???
— ???
— BRO THIS IS A DEBUT STREAM WTF
— No way, right?
— Wait… so this ISN’T a debut???
— …oh.
— DORA MOMMY AAAAAAAAAA
— WHO USES A PLACARD FOR A “PROMOTIONAL” STREAM?!?!
— YOU LIED TO ME
— DON’T DO THIS TO ME
— NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
— LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES
— I’M GOING DARK MODE

:: Anonymous has donated 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: "LMAO we all know you're debuting anyway, just admit it." ::

:: Anonymous has donated 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: "See you soon as 1.5th Gen EmployeeD~" ::

I ignored all the debut-related donations and messages.

If I responded even once, they’d start spinning it as "She’s clearly considering it but pretending not to!"

If I stayed silent, they’d let it go on their own.
No need to stir the hive.

Seeing that I wasn’t reacting, Mugeon jumped in at the perfect moment.

[Alright, alright, Parallel fans—calm down. I got a message from their boss:
Please don’t bully EmployeeD too much, they’re only here for official promotion and private match participation. Understood?]

— RRRGHHH
— DAMN YOU, MOMO!!!
— FREE EMPLOYEEDDDD
— DOWN WITH MOMO THE DICTATOR!

Of course, not everyone was thrilled about my presence.

— "Didn’t they usually only invite top-tier players?"
— "Idk, maybe they got in through a special connection lmao."
— "Mugeon must be running out of people to invite."

Yeah. That’s more like it.

There were plenty of people who had no idea who Signal Flare was.
And even those who did know might’ve thought, "Aren’t they just a Diamond player?"

After all, everyone in this lobby was at least Master-tier.

Maybe Mugeon was aware of the skepticism, because he quickly followed up.

[So, why did I invite EmployeeD today? Simple: for the private match. And what are these matches known for? Skill. The fact that I went out of my way to bring them in means I expect them to perform.
So, EmployeeD—what do you think? You’re the only Diamond-tier player here. Think you can prove yourself today?]

If he had only praised me, it would’ve felt awkward.
But by pointing out my lower rank, he balanced it out.

I wasn’t about to take it personally.

"Everyone here is a high-tier, well-known player, sure. But you never really know until you try, right? Since I was lucky enough to get invited, I’ll make sure to show everything I’ve got."

A Diamond player standing among top-ranked pros—
How could I not be excited?

These were players I wouldn’t normally even encounter in ranked games.
They were practically in a league of their own.

But did I see them as untouchable like Momo and the first-gens?
Not at all.

Ever since I won my bet against Mugeon, a new horizon had opened up for me.
Just thinking about how to beat these players was fun in itself.

Losing to someone?
I couldn’t care less.

Because my only goal today—was blowing Mugeon’s head off.

Sure, there was a bit of personal spite.
But it was all for the sake of first-gen promotion.

Takedown Mugeon.
In the smoke.
Headshot.

Oblivious to my intentions, Mugeon clapped.

[Alright, great to hear. So, EmployeeD—should we do the official company promotion now? Or wait until after the match?]

I subtly checked the viewer count.

Live | Special Guest for 4th Week of October Private Match | 25,132 viewers

We had started with 23,000.
That meant another 2,000 people had shown up since the match began.

:: Anonymous has donated 1,000 Clouds! ::
:: "So, is EmployeeD the same person who sniped Mugeon 60 hours ago?" ::

More and more people were connecting the dots.
The speculation was still spreading.

Which meant—
The perfect moment to reveal the announcement would be after I won.

The more people who saw me destroy Mugeon,
the more people who would remember the name ‘1stGen1stAnniversarySongReleasesNov5.’

Like hell I wouldn’t land at least one kill in two matches.

I didn’t stream snipe, of course.
But I had already analyzed which maps Mugeon preferred and where he usually landed.

"I’ll do it after the match. As I mentioned earlier, I have an announcement from Parallel, so I’d appreciate it if everyone stuck around until the end."

Please, RNG gods.
Just don’t put me on Mugeon’s team.

Of course, things in life never go exactly as planned.

[Alright, time for the team draft. Eight players left in the pool. Naturally, those with weaker performances in previous matches have ended up in this phase. Let’s begin the second draft phase.]

Even though this was a private match, the Mooving Crew took winning very seriously, which was why they always held a draft to select teams.

Each of the eight captains would pick two teammates in a staggered order—rolling dice to determine the picking sequence, then reversing the order for the final pick.

And, as expected, since my skills hadn’t been proven yet, I had been pushed to the second phase along with the players who hadn’t performed well last week…

One by one, the captains selected their teams.
By the time the seventh captain had filled their three-member squad—

[Oh, would you look at that? EmployeeD, welcome aboard. We meet again.]

— LOL
— Welp, saw that coming.
— Bro, the second I saw Mugeon roll first, I KNEW this would happen.
— This is comedy gold.
— Well, at least you’ll get carried.
— VIP Battle Colosseum ride, ON.

…And just like that, I ended up as the final pick on Mugeon’s team.

[I guess since your skills are still unverified, the other captains didn’t want to take the risk. But I believe in you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have invited you here in the first place. Since we’re on the same team now, let’s give it our best, yeah?]

— Bro, why would you say it like that? Now it just sounds sad.
— EmployeeD isn’t in Master tier because they don’t wanna be, not because they can’t be.
— Mugeon, you are a terrible person LOL.

Oh yeah. Real inspiring.
Just fantastic.

I CAME HERE TO BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF, YOU BASTARD.

This was bullshit.
This had to be rigged.
There was no way this wasn’t some conspiracy on Mugeon’s part to sabotage my plan.

Setting aside the professional front for a second—
The fact was, even if you combined the average viewership of every other ex-pro and streamer in this match, it still wouldn’t match what Mugeon had watching him right now.

If I wanted maximum impact, I needed to take him out.
And now I was stuck on his team?

Was the universe against Parallel’s success?

Fine.
If that’s how it was going to be, I’d just have to change my approach.

If I was the kind of person who gave up just because of an unexpected setback, I wouldn’t have joined this match in the first place.

This was the job Momo had entrusted to me—
My first official corporate promotional duty.

I wasn’t going to half-ass it just because the situation wasn’t ideal.

If I couldn’t eliminate Mugeon…
Then I’d just have to win the whole damn thing.

If I carried my team to first place, then it wouldn’t matter that Mugeon’s viewership overshadowed mine. The results would speak for themselves.

And so, I changed my mission objective.
Instead of taking out Mugeon within two rounds, the new goal was:

Get first place. No matter what.

Fueled by pure determination, I boldly declared—

"Mugeon, just don’t hold me back. I’m planning to win today."