I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Chapter 301

Discord: https://dsc.gg/reapercomics

◈ I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

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The Inheritor III

Just as the Southern and Northern factions—the Funeral faction and the Anti-Funeral faction—were about to clash in a decisive battle, the Saintess broke her quiet neutrality and finally made her move. As if she had been waiting for this moment, she sent a telepathic message to all the key members.

Everyone, stop what you’re doing. I’ve come to end this war.

The Saintess’s declaration wasn’t anywhere near as domineering in tone, of course, but the message was similar in effect. The two factions that had been ready to blow each other’s heads off were left with no choice but to lower their fists.

After all, the Saintess was an absolute powerhouse with the abilities of Time Stop, Clairvoyance, and Telepathy. The reason she had remained silent until now was solely to protect the peace of the Korean Peninsula. If she were to join the battle, risking the exposure of the Constellations’ true identities, the balance of the battlefield would tip in an instant.

“However, this doesn’t mean the conflict is completely resolved. We’ve only managed to secure an hour-long ceasefire,” the Saintess said with an emotionless yet somehow triumphant tone. “Once time is up, the fighting will immediately resume. That is why you need to step in now, Mr. Undertaker.”

“I’ve stopped the conflict for now, so you should use this time to intervene and reveal to the world that you didn’t actually die.”

“Saintess, are you a demon?”

The Saintess tilted her head, her face as innocent as a child’s.

That made it even more terrifying. She genuinely believed that the key players in this pandemonium would accept my suddenly appearing on the battlefield and saying, “Surprise! It was all a hidden camera prank! Teehee☆ Did I scare you?”

Yes, sometimes, the purity of an angel is no different from the cruelty of a demon—

“No, even I’m not that naive,” she said, stopping my thoughts in their tracks. “In all likelihood, Mr. Undertaker, you will face the fiercest ire and scorn of your comrades. Should the worst-case scenario come to be, you might even be ex-communicated.”

Shouldn’t I be more worried about being physically dismembered over basic ex-communication?

“Wait a minute. You know that, and yet you’re still urging me to go out there?” I countered, balking. “Why?”

“Hmm.”

The Saintess’s indifferent gaze swept over my shoulders, elbows, hips, and knees. Coincidentally, those were the parts that would look nice if they were cleanly severed. A chill ran down my spine.

“Because your relationships and physical health being put at risk is better than innocent lives being lost,” she concluded. “You have to give what you can and let go of what you must.”

In other words, regardless of what role I played—Undertaker or otherwise—the safety of the Korean Peninsula would always, absolutely take precedence above all else!

Goosebumps slithered across my skin. Could this really be the personality of someone who held the title of Saintess? Perhaps it was this very cold-hearted nature that led her to falling into Corruption faster than anyone else.

“Mr. Undertaker, four minutes have already passed,” the Saintess urged. “If you use the passage under the suspension bridge, you’ll reach the Inunaki Tunnel quickly. But given that tensions are high, you need to intervene as soon as possible.”

“If I go there, I’ll die.”

“Maybe. But if you don’t go, Dang Seo-rin or Cheon Yo-hwa might die.”

A groan escaped my lips.

What should I do? What should I do?

‘Should I go with the scenario that I was briefly kidnapped by an unknown Outer God and barely managed to escape? Yeah, I can manage that. With my acting skills, I can even deceive the heavens!’

Yes, no matter how you sliced it, it was all the fault of the Anomalies at the end of the day.

Just as I was about to pull out this all-purpose excuse that proved infallible in our bleak, apocalyptic times, something caught my eye. On the Saintess’s computer, beneath the table surrounded by fish tanks, there was a decoration that didn’t fit the interior at all.

Executor of Wills – Undertaker01: Saintess’s Exclusive Model

It was a doll that replicated my appearance and physique down to the very last detail. If you carefully manipulated your Aura to act as a fuel supply, the doll would automatically output my voice in recorded lines.

I stared at the doll, which had been deactivated and was lying there lifelessly, and the moment our eyes met, a bolt of realization struck me.

“That’s it!”

“Huh?”

“Saintess! I’ve found a way to stop the fight between the Funeral faction and the Anti-Funeral faction without getting dismembered!”

The Saintess tilted her head again. “If you’re suggesting that you take turns serving everyone for a year, I can only advise you to reconsider Ah-ryeon’s personality...”

“That would just be a different kind of hell. I’m not that foolish. Let’s go with a more traditional method.”

“Traditional?”

I looked her dead in the eye. “Saintess. Have you ever watched Korean dramas?”

https://dsc.gg/reapercomics

In the dark depths of the Inunaki Tunnel where the Funeral faction and the Anti-Funeral faction had set up opposing barricades, a clear voice suddenly rang out.

[Everyone, please listen to me for a moment.]

It was the Saintess’s voice. Of course, not everyone was allowed to hear it live—that right was reserved for the members of the Regression Alliance stationed in each faction, such as Do-hwa and Yo-hwa.

Seo-rin was an exception. She wasn’t ostracized for not joining the Regression Alliance. She was just transported to the rear after being injured during the battle.

[Don’t be alarmed.]

[The Undertaker has been found.]

“What?”

“Huh?”

Confusion echoed back at her from across the battle line, and a commotion broke out in both factions, who had been eagerly waiting for the ceasefire to end.

If it had been anyone else speaking, they would have dismissed it as nonsense, but the trust the Saintess inspired was as valuable as gold-standard medication during the COVID-19 pandemic. After all, it was the Saintess who had guaranteed that the Undertaker had gone missing, which led to this mess in the first place.

Ji-won was the first to regain her composure, according to the Saintess’s later testimony.

“I always knew His Excellency was safe. His Excellency is the center of the world, the salt of the earth. If someone like him had passed away, the world would have collapsed immediately. The fact that we’re still alive proves his grace.”

She received glares from everyone without discrimination between factions.

As a reminder, Ji-won had the Mini-Map ability, so she knew full well that I was alive. Even without any hints from the Saintess or me, she had played along with my act without a single misstep.

At this point, it was starting to get scary.

As the tunnel grew colder, Do-hwa spoke up with a smirk.

“Well, it was a disappearance from the start, not a death. But if he’s alive, why hasn’t he shown up yet? What kind of nonsense has he been up to...?”

[There’s a reason for that.]

“Oh, I’m already looking forward to how heart-wrenching that reason will be. My tear ducts are ready to burst...”

[Everyone, come to my place. Mr. Undertaker is waiting here too.]

A short while later, the members of the Regression Alliance gathered one by one at the Saintess’s residence. When they saw me lying on the bed, they each cried out in their own way.

“T-Teacher!”

Yo-hwa, who had the fastest legs, rushed over and grabbed my shoulders.

“A-Are you okay? Teacher?”

“He was found in the Void,” the Saintess said.

“He was already unconscious when found. He responds to external stimuli, but he doesn’t seem to recognize me. You can think of him as being in a vegetative state.”

“A... vegetative state...”

“More accurately, you can think of it as amnesia.”

I blinked at the flustered Cheon Yo-hwa and said, “I’m sorry, but who are you? Do you know me?”

Yes, that’s right. I pulled out the cliché of amnesia, a time-honored tradition in countless K-dramas. No, in creative works worldwide!

“Hmm, this is strange,” Ji-won, who never hesitated to prove she was the top dog in any situation, chimed in. “I thought His Excellency the Undertaker had Complete Memory. But amnesia? Isn’t that the exact opposite?”

“Yes, that’s why I was surprised too,” the Saintess replied. Since we had already coordinated our stories, her response was smooth.

Above all, the Saintess was a professional loner who used Time Stop to practice her lines before she spoke to another human being! There was no risk of anything in her tone or words giving her away!

“Last I saw him, Mr. Undertaker mentioned that he was going on a business trip to track an Outer God. I’m cautiously speculating that this Outer God might have interfered with his Complete Memory.”

“This can’t be.”

“An Outer God powerful enough to erase even His Excellency’s ability... Just how strong is it?”

Murmurs filled the air.

I continued to play the fool, pretending not to remember anything. It was truly a performance of a lifetime—especially given the dubious dagger-eyes Do-hwa was shooting my way. I had to put even more effort into my acting.

- Dad.

Ha-yul approached the bed and clung to my legs. Her Aura wavered, giving her voice output a trembling quality.

- Dad... As long as you’re alive, that’s enough. That’s all that matters.

“Th-that’s right, Ha-yul.” Ah-ryeon crouched by the bedside and patted Ha-yul’s back. “As long as the guild leader is safe— Right, it’s a huge relief. I-I told you, didn’t I? If we believe, the guild leader will definitely return.”

Ha-yul sniffled, wiping her tears.

- Yes, you’re back, and that’s all that matters.

My conscience!

My conscience hurts!

And then, last and maybe least was Dok-seo, staring at me from the back with a hint of some inscrutable emotion playing across her face. Her eyes seemed to say, Mister, do you really have to go this far?

Whenever I thought about just who caused this mess, the urge to beat her up and do so much more overwhelmed me.

If I ever fall for Oh Dok-seo’s sweet talk again, I swear I’ll quit being a regressor. Seriously.

“Ah, s-so, Teacher,” Yo-hwa stuttered. “Are you going to stay like this, not remembering us? Huh? Will you recover in the next cycle?”

“Calm down, everyone,” the Saintess said calmly. “Although I didn’t anticipate this outcome, Mr. Undertaker always prepared for the possibility of something happening to him.”

“Teacher did...?”

“Yes. As you all know, what Mr. Undertaker feared most was his mind being Corrupted. A situation where his perception was distorted.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. The people gathered here had heard my warnings to beware of that pink entity dozens, if not hundreds, of times.

“And the amnesia Mr. Undertaker is experiencing is undoubtedly a form of perception distortion. He has prepared for this situation meticulously.”

“Ah...!”

“Moreover, the countermeasure is something you’re all familiar with.”

Under everyone’s gaze, the Saintess pointed to a corner of the living room. There, sitting quietly in its display was the Executor of Wills – Undertaker01: Saintess’s Exclusive Model.

“The dolls he gave you—they contain memories of each of you. You could think of them as backup external hard drives.”

“Th-then?”

“Yes. If you gather all the Executor of Wills dolls in one place and connect them to Mr. Undertaker, his amnesia can be cured.”

Exclamations of admiration filled the room.

“As expected of His Excellency the Undertaker. I always wondered why he recorded his will in dolls instead of writing it down. So he thought this far ahead.”

Actually, no.

The dolls didn’t have any function like that. They were just simple dolls that mimicked my voice.

“I-I really... It’s just such a relief. When Teacher suddenly asked me to use NPC Creation on the doll, I-I thought, ‘Teacher seems fine, but there must be something wrong with his brain.’ But in fact, Teacher had it all planned out!”

Actually, no.

More importantly, being treated like my mental cognizance wasn’t all there by Yo-hwa of all people had this teacher starting to doubt our student council president’s objectivity.

“Th-that’s right. I also thought the guild leader might have a doll fetish... I’m so glad the guild leader isn’t just a pervert. Right, Dok-seo?”

“Huh? Oh, um, uh-huh! That’s right! Yep, there’s no way Mister would give out 1:1 scale dolls of himself to people around him without any thought! He’s not a lunatic!”

Dok-seo, I’ll deal with you later.

Anyway, my allies quickly made round trips to and back from their quarters with their dolls in tow. The bed was lined with dolls upon dolls that looked exactly like me. Seeing this, Noh Do-hwa muttered, “No matter how you look at it, this looks like a suspicious ritual of the Void...”

“Please restrain yourself, Commander Noh. By the way, only your doll seems to be covered in dust.”

“What’s so pretty about this creepy doll that I should take care of it? It’s even creepier that everyone else has been diligently maintaining their dolls. Sorry, but please stay away from me...”

Whoosh!

A magic circle formed under the bed. The extraordinary light made the comrades instinctively step back.

“Oh! His Excellency’s magic is activating!”

“Hmm. There’s something scribbled on the magic circle. Team Leader Yu, can you read it...?”

“It’s runes. My apologies. I can read Latin or Greek, but runes are beyond me.”

Of course she couldn’t read them. The runes were just “magic” text I scribbled randomly.

The magic circle that was bright enough to fill the living room with light was actually the manifestation of Aura I had secretly leaked under the blanket.

The Aura mastery I had built up over hundreds of cycles finally proved its full use here. The magic circle moved in three-dimensional geometric patterns, creating an ominous atmosphere― and eventually exploded, converging into my body.

“Ugh?!”

Now was the time for my Academy Award-worthy acting skills to shine.

I clutched my head as if suffering from a severe headache.

“Where am I...?”

“T-Teacher! Are you awake?!”

“Yo-hwa...? What’s going on?”

“Teacher!” Yo-hwa hugged me tightly. “Waaah! Teacher, I-I thought you were dead! Y-you disappeared into the Void! They said you were missing! They said you were likely dead, and I...!”

“Ah... I see. I understand what happened.” I smiled warmly like a Buddha and patted her head. “You must have had a hard time while I was away. I’m sorry.”

“Waaah!”

Following Yo-hwa’s example, Ha-yul joined in, flooding my blanket with tears.

I ignored the prickling of my conscience and comforted my comrades. Ah-ryeon watched us with a giggle.

In the distance, Do-hwa was still sending me suspicious glances, but it seemed she couldn’t be sure of my crime.

[As expected of Mr. Undertaker.]

The Saintess sent a telepathic message.

[Even from my perspective, knowing the whole story, your acting was flawless.]

[Congratulations. You’ve achieved your goal and even avoided blame.]

Is that a compliment? I’ll take it as one.

Of course, now that I had returned, there was no reason for the Funeral faction and the Anti-Funeral faction to continue their conflict. The Korean Peninsula returned to its newly festive atmosphere as if it had never been engulfed in internal strife.

The only minor side effect was that Yo-hwa and Ha-yul clung to me like sticky rice cakes and wouldn’t let go, but it was a perfect ending otherwise.

Happy ending. Happy ending.

There’s a short epilogue.

“G-Guild Leader...”

“Oh, Ah-ryeon. What brings you here at this late hour? You must be tired from leading the Eastern Holy State lately, so get some rest.”

“Hehe. Yes. I-I’ll sleep soon. But before that, I have something to tell you, Guild Leader!”

“Oh? What is it?”

“It’s all a lie, isn’t it?”

Silence.

“Dear Ah-ryeon... Wh-what are you saying? Our Guild Leader doesn’t understand...”

“Oh, th-the story about you being kidnapped by an Outer God, suffering from amnesia, and recovering your memories by gathering the dolls. Um, so, basically everything!”

Silence: Second Gear.

“D-dear Ah-ryeon... H-h-how did you come to think that everything is a lie?”

“Um, well, I didn’t feel like you were lying, Guild Leader, but... Dok-seo unnie. She seemed too calm for someone who had just lost the guild leader... Hehe. Even though your acting was perfect, Guild Leader, you couldn’t control Dok-seo unnie’s expression. That was the flaw, wasn’t it?”

Silence: Third Gear.

“So.”

“Yes?”

“Dear Ah-ryeon, since you always cherish this Guild Leader so much, you wouldn’t spread this story outside, or try to expose it on SG Net for popularity, right? Such a mishap wouldn’t happen, would it?”

“Ahhh! O-of course not, Guild Leader! I wouldn’t run to Captain Noh or the Great Witch Dang Seo-rin and blabber about a secret that might very well get you killed...!”

Silence: Fourth Gear.

Eye contact.

A bright smile.

Kneeling.

“I’ll give you all the knowledge and legacy of a regressor. Please, just spare my life.”

“Okay!”

The result of wielding a time-honored cliché was, likewise, a time-honored tale of justice and retribution.