Just Twilight

His heart was racing. He felt like he should say something, but no words came out. The feelings he had been suppressing all this time suddenly bubbled to the surface.

In that instant, when Junyoung slowly twisted her wrist, he panicked and loosened his grip. But instead of pulling away, her hand slid down and grasped the tips of his fingers.

Now, his heart was pounding in his fingertips. In his blurred vision, Junyoung’s mischievous smile, her bright face, seemed to etch itself into his mind. No matter how badly he was hit by anything, he knew he couldn’t feel anything like this.

“If you leave out the strawberry jam, I won’t let you off the hook.”

Junyoung whispered and let go of his hand, brushing past him. Beomjin turned his stiff neck to follow her movements. Her steps were light, almost like a butterfly fluttering away.

He lowered his head and glanced at his hand, and only then did a laugh escape him. It was an odd sensation, like his entire body was ticklish.

How can someone be this cute? That’s cheating, Yoon Junyoung. You need to give me a break.

Unable to stop the smile from spreading, Beomjin lifted his gaze, but his expression quickly faltered. Seungwoon was standing by the door, watching him.

As their eyes met, Seungwoon turned away, his face expressionless, and disappeared.

Did he see everything? Should I catch him and ask? I might just be making things worse.

As Beomjin quickly tried to think it over, he stroked his chin.

But was he the kind of guy to make that kind of face? I thought his default expression was more like the clueless one he had when he said he would teach me how to write a reflection letter.

Beomjin gathered his bag and looked back at the door once more. There was no one there.

...He couldn’t have seen my hand, right?

Even if he had, he wasn’t the type to blabber about it. Since he clearly likes Junyoung, maybe it’s a good thing.

With these thoughts, Beomjin’s lips curved again. He couldn’t shake the memory of Junyoung’s pouting voice echoing in his ears.

“You can’t even act like you know each other in front of people, and you still think you can have a relationship?”

A relationship.

A relationship...

Beomjin slung his bag over his shoulder and left the classroom, finally letting out a short laugh. It seemed like, for a while, his lips were going to be uncontrollable.

***

The strange feeling first hit him on his way to grab the money.

His wallet had money in it. But today, for some reason, he felt like it was going to be a special day. Since she liked sweets, he thought it wouldn’t hurt to buy a cake or something.

Technically speaking, he was supposed to get an answer after the grades were finalized. But after Junyoung’s attitude earlier, the answer was almost already given. To be more precise, after his unspoken confession, Junyoung had already answered by focusing even more on her studies than ever before.

He bought sandwich ingredients and went home, reminding himself not to forget to take out the gift first. He had placed the hairpin in the cupboard where he kept the ramen, as he was worried he might lose it if he carried it around.

Would she accept it with a smile? Or would she throw it back in his face, saying it was a useless gift?

It was a little cheesy, but it was sincere. Though, considering her picky personality, that was certainly a possibility.

These strange thoughts felt unfamiliar, but he didn’t mind them. Trying to suppress the shy expression, Beomjin suddenly squinted his eyes.

There was an unfamiliar car parked in front of his grandparents’ house.

It was a black, old sedan. The dents and the vibe it gave off were enough to tell that it wasn’t an ordinary car.

Ordinary cars didn’t usually have multiple marks that looked like they were struck by a baseball bat.

His body went tense in an instant. Beomjin narrowed his focus and took a few steps back, never taking his eyes off the car.

Holding his breath, he lowered his body slightly when someone came out of the house. It was a big, dark man.

They locked eyes almost simultaneously.

“Uncle?”@@novelbin@@

“Beomjin!”

The man’s face had a wide jaw and a thick beard. His muscular body was still stubbornly clad in a black suit. In the time it took Beomjin to blink, his uncle had reached him and quickly scanned him up and down.

“Are you alright? No problems?”

“What problems would there be...”

Beomjin had reflexively started to answer, but then stopped. His uncle gave a brief nod and grabbed his shoulder.

“Let’s go.”

Beomjin didn’t ask “Where to?” He had already anticipated this situation the moment he saw his uncle. It was just that he hadn’t fully processed it yet.

“Now, right now?”

When he finally managed to speak, his uncle tightened his grip on his shoulder and silently looked at him.

“There’s no time to gather things. We need to head straight to the docks.”

Had he grown to be the same height as his giant uncle? Just moments ago, standing here felt like a reality, but now, it seemed as distant as a dream. Beomjin felt the ringing in his ears as his uncle’s gruff voice broke through.

“Is there anything you’re leaving behind at home? Bring just that.”

Leaving something behind.

His mind went blank. The only thing that came to mind was one thing.

At the place I call home, there’s Yoon Junyoung.

Before he could think further, his lips moved involuntarily.

“How much time do we have?”

“Five minutes. The longer we wait, the more dangerous it gets.”

His uncle glanced at his watch, speaking hurriedly. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. He hadn’t planned for this. He had thought about it, but now wasn’t the time.

At least, he needed just one moment to say something.

Even if that word meant nothing at all.

“Just a minute, I’ll go somewhere... Are you hurt?”

As Beomjin clenched his fist and was about to run, he saw something—dried blood on his uncle’s knuckles. His uncle shook his head.

“It’s nothing. Beomjin, there’s no time. We need to go now.”

The urgency in his uncle’s worn face finally struck Beomjin. His uncle’s eyes, sunken and weary, told a story of someone who had been closer to death than life.

Though Beomjin didn’t know all the details, he could tell his uncle had come from a place where death was far more familiar than life. For a moment, Beomjin remembered his own situation wasn’t too different.

Now wasn’t the time for hesitation. His decisions no longer only affected him. Once he remembered that, the strength drained from his clenched fist. His gaze turned automatically toward the mountain.

She would be waiting.

She would think I’ll be there by nightfall, but how will she get down alone when it gets dark?

“Beomjin.”

His uncle’s voice called out in a more frantic tone as the phone rang. Beomjin nodded briefly and grabbed the car door.

“Let’s go.”

His uncle climbed into the driver’s seat, and the engine roared to life. The car sped off, kicking up dust.

Beomjin stared out the window. His heart felt as though it had sunk into cold water. The car rumbled over uneven ground, but his eyes remained fixed on the mountain, never straying for even a moment. His voice came out softly.

“Can we come back here?”

His uncle glanced at him briefly before letting out a long sigh. As he turned the steering wheel, his uncle replied in a calm voice.

“We might, someday. If we’re alive, that is.”

While it sounded like a positive response, it didn’t offer any comfort. It meant that returning wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

At least not before Junyoung forgets about me.

Familiar scenery passed by. The road where he had wandered aimlessly when he first came to the town. The familiar tractor in the field. The church where people gathered every weekend.

Beomjin’s eyes widened as he looked at the Faith Church.

“Uncle, wait. Just for a moment.”

With a loud screech, the car suddenly slowed down. Before it could come to a full stop, Beomjin opened the door and jumped out. He immediately ran toward someone riding a bicycle.

“Na Seungwoon!”

Seungwoon stopped his bicycle and turned around at the deep, heavy voice. His eyes widened when he saw Beomjin. He looked back and forth between Beomjin and the black sedan, his shoulders instinctively shrinking.

“Kwon... Kwon Beomjin?”

There was no other way. But he had to leave something behind, even if it was just for Seungwoon.

“Tell Junyoung I’m sorry.”

Seungwoon blinked slowly at the sudden words. His once soft eyes now looked strangely twisted.

“…What?”

“I’m sorry for leaving her alone.”

There was so much more he could say, but there wasn’t time. Beomjin looked directly at Seungwoon’s now pale face and lowered his head.

“I’m asking you, please.”

With one last glance, he turned and ran back to the car. He slammed the door shut and climbed in quickly.

Seungwoon might never pass on the message, but Beomjin felt he needed to hold on to this small possibility before he left.

As the car picked up speed, passing Seungwoon’s confused and hostile gaze, Beomjin swallowed a heavy sigh.

He wanted to say, "Let’s meet again."

Someday, for sure, let’s meet again.

But what would those words even mean to Junyoung? Would he ever be able to meet her again?

And if they did meet again, would it really be a good thing for her?

He knew he was the one who was lost. Junyoung, walking proudly down her own straight path with her abilities, would probably never cross paths with him again.

He should have spent more money, should have splurged.

He should have never let the eggs break.

If only he’d known she liked sweets a little earlier. Just a little earlier...

If only he’d said he liked her.

He stared at his fingers, where Junyoung had once held his hand. It felt like the events of just an hour ago were already fading into the distant past.

Her warmth, which he thought would stay with him, seemed to vanish too quickly. Beomjin clenched his fist so tightly that it hurt, and closed his eyes. A low, painful sound slipped from his sealed lips.