Chapter 812: Why I am the man [1/2]
One of the saddest things that could happen in war or combat was friendly fire. Although with the advent of better technology that has been lessened by a large degree. With the introduction of artillery and heavy munitions it was something we needed to plan for.
With Exa and the Bella's Wizards issues such as suddenly shelling our allies should be impossible. Intercepting or giving out false orders would be impossible unless the enemy had the means to hack the Hellsend Networks.
It would be great if that was all I had to think about. With the addition of soul and {fates} what normally was fiction now turned into real concerns. Fighting against Bifrons and the Vampires gave me a glimpse of how dangerous such mind control could become in battle.
Jo in particular was quite adept at using illusions and suggestions maliciously. Many would argue that she was a complete Psycho. It took a special kind of bastard to attack the mind. But even I felt the effects from the Vampires powers. I needed to prepare not just my family but the rest of my forces to resist such effects.
As the weapons Hellsend has evolves keeping a tight leash on our people was a must. But rather than choke the dog before it bit you. It would be far better that the dog never would choose to do so in the first place.
[{Mind Shield} is the upgrade of {Illusion Resistance} with the evolutions to {Dampen} and {Digest}, and the addition of {Insight}. Any and all attempts to manipulate the mind and sense of anyone connected to me would be neutralized.]
'Does it work on stuff that goes through drugs? Like hallucinogenics and Narcotics?'
[Yest. {Digests} upgrades allow the control of metabolism. It would burn any foreign substance that deviates from what the body considers as harmful. This includes all attack vectors including fluid, air, and viral forms of transmission.]
'Hmm. That is good. Then that means we can no longer get sick?'
[The possibility is not 100% but Lady Aki's {fate} will guarantee that anyone who has {Eat} will become extremely health even without trying.]
If you considered that Aki was around Haru most of the time, it made sense why her desires and regrets would revolve around it. To me personally, I'm just glad {Eat} practically gave my family and I increased immunity for diseases and poisons.
[My lord, there are a bunch of other upgrades but there is no rush to learn them all. For now, I believe you had a bigger issue at hand. One that would need your immediate attention.]
Much like how Pixie taught me in the beginning, although the soul avatars all were me, my attention span was not on them all the time. When I was having all of them act separately, I call forth a lot of brain power, this was why I needed [Commander] at the beginning.
But with {Calculate} it got easier. When not in combat, sex or talks, the Soul Avatars themselves were idle. Meaning, I only retained minimum focus on them. It was like how sit through a class or meeting but remember nothing of what you heard. I was "there" but I also wasn't.
'AH fuck. I forgot about them. Exa, what did they do when I was reforming my {Kismet}.'
[As your soul avatars are no longer connected to your body in any manner after summoning, they were fine. But as they shared your mind, they all showed signs of stress and discomfort.]
'Didn't I have them all sleep?'
The Soul Avatars that I was using to cuddle and rest with the Sirens were in what I call "Idle" mode. My bodies could see, hear and feel, but when nothing happened, they just existed. Majority of my focus was on Sunday who was burning the entire time. Discover stories with My Virtual Library Empire
[You technically did. But as they are still you, they were like echoes. They said the exact same things as you were undergoing reconstruction.]
'Hmm, that doesn't sound so bad… I should…fuck…'
When my brain woke the soul avatars all of them were being nursed by the Sirens. My girls were wiping their bodies down. That wasn't the problem. It was the fact that I only saw six of the girls on the bed.
I had my avatars search for Lilly, only to see her by the entrance to the bathroom. When the girls noticed that I was now "here", all of them smiled at me. But unlike their normal smiles I felt blood lust and malice radiating from their bodies.
"Beloved. Does hurting yourself count as a sport among southerners…"
"If there was Possum would be the fucking best!!!"
"Yep, Darling forgets everything and just does it for shit and giggles…"
"I mean fuck all the people that love you, right Honey? Fuck our feelings! Fuck our worries? As If any of them crap matters!"
"Husband…Why? Am I a burden?"
"Anata…I know you would have a good reason, but did you have to do it alone?"
Their words made me lower my head in shame. They knew and understood why I had to regularly temper myself. I only saw them do it once and I was a wreak. The girls must have felt anxious as well. And true to Bella's words I disregarded them in my haste to reforming my kismet.
I suddenly felt the soul cage I created break apart. Lilly appeared before me with a sad expression.
"Dearest, are we merely just a tool for satisfying your lust? Are we nothing more than a means for you to gain power? For all your grand promises how could you just so selfishly carry the burden?"
Her words cut deep. The reason why most marriages fall apart was primarily there were both men and women who did not see their partners as human. They were merely a means to an end. A cum dumpster, a trophy, a conquest or a womb to birth a successor.
Unknowingly despite loving my girls so much, I treated them as tools. Once I got their {fates}, I acted on my own to create new powers. I remember the words Lilly told me before when I recreated {Limitless} when they were present.
"Idiot. Cherish yourself a bit more. We just told you we love you and you do something like this. I hate you. I'm glad you are okay."
I myself acted like a pussy when I saw them suffer so much. Yet I unknowingly did the same to them. And what's worse this was not the first time I did it. How could I be so selfish. Lilly was right, I was trash. And this was after the girls offered their everything to me.
Shame and anger began to fill me. I said I would never hurt my girls. I said I would never make them cry. Yet here I was doing what I swore I would never do. I clenched my jaw so much I heard my teeth grind together. I was fucking trash.
Before I could compose the thoughts, I wanted to say, my American princess walked forward and kneeled beside me. Her eyes watched me like a hawk. But there was an indescribable kindness in her gaze.
"…Lilly…I"
I then felt a gentle hand touch and cradle my cheek. The blue haired goddess made a deep sigh as she spoke.
"I know Dearest. Did you forget? I am your Kindred. I knew it was unfair, and I knew that it would hurt you, but I needed you to understand. The self-loathing you have is not normal. I needed to use your broken sense of values to make you see our point."
"No. You girls are right. I am fucking scum… I know I do not deserve you all. But I just…I wanted to get stronger…I didn't mea…"
All of a sudden, I found myself in Lilly's embrace. Her hands pulled me closer as she began to speak in an exhausted voice.
"I know Dearest. We all do. For the heights you desire, the climb required is both daunting and merciless. The higher you go the further you see. And it terrifies you of what may come our way. We feel your fear.
Your worry. Even that you wish to hide."
"…"
"Dearest. You are not the first man to be a devoted husband. But you are the only man that matters to me. I know you wish to do this alone to protect me and my sisters. But by doing so you rob us of the opportunity to love you."
I then heard the rest of girls speak to me. But it wasn't from bathroom. It was from the Soul Avatars all sweating up a storm on the harem bed.
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