Martial King's Retired Life

Ming Feizhen was bizarrely summoned to the palace when he had his head buried underneath hundreds of plates and his mind in dreamland, where he saw himself, Sage Ming, armoured up and squared off against Nezha, visited The Crystal Palace, accompanied Prime Minister Tortoise, danced with the Dragon King of the Seas’ troops and drank with Dragon King of the Seas, before visiting the Jade Emperor to eat braised pork shoulders the next day. When he suddenly heard someone calling him by his full name, he woke up and furiously yelled, “What are you calling Daddy for?!”

When he wondered who the innovative musician was who played a sound akin to cutlery shattering on the ground, which actually happened, in the morning, Ming Feizhen heard the waiter calculating costs on his abacus.

“Duke Ming, wake up. His Majesty has summoned you.”

“Huh?” Ming Feizhen rubbed his eyes. Once he identified Eunuch Wang Tushui, he scrubbed the back of his head. “His Majesty wants to treat me to braised pork shoulders, too? I have yet to finish my meal with the Jade Emperor.”

After he stomped, Eunuch Wang dragged Ming Feizhen out from the mountain of plates, tidied Ming Feizhen up and warned, “Duke Ming, His Majesty summoned you; he did not invite you. I do not know if there will be pork shoulders or not for you, but I do know there will be a caning for you if you delay any longer.”

“Is the cane… tasty?” Ming Feizhen burped a breath of alcohol that had Eunuch Wang scuttle away from. Wagging his hand, Ming Feizhen clarified, “I am not the only one who drank.”

Upon looking around, Eunuch Wang found Tang Ye, Ling Jialan and Feng Qizhi sound asleep despite the ruckus. For all he knew, there could have been more people buried underneath the stack of plates.

“How much did you drink?” Eunuch Wang waved the stench away from his nose with a frown. Sad for the appalling lack of regard for health in the young generation, he sighed and then ordered, “Men, assist Duke Ming to the imperial palace.”

Ming Feizhen continued snoring and finishing his meal with the Jade Emperor once he was in the litter. When they arrived at their destination, six armoured guards had to carry him to the palace doors before he regained some sense of self-awareness.

Ming Feizhen thumped his skull in hopes of sobering up a little. The chances of His Majesty summoning him at this hour for good news were slim. Considering he met with Ye Yun yesterday, Elise’s appearance was probably reported to His Majesty. Watching Eunuch Wang’s hunched posture instigated an incredibly uncomfortable feeling that was tough to describe.

“Your Majesty, Ming Feizhen has arrived.”

“Enter.” It was tough to determine His Majesty’s mood based on his tone, but it was not good for sure.

Emperor Yuansheng was known to be a monarch who saw schemes and ambitions as scriptures that would have one frowning from the first line. When he tried them himself, they were virtually knockoffs of what they were meant to be. Therefore, it was no difficult to read his thoughts. Of course, reading his thoughts and serving him were not one and the same things. With that said, it was a trait that the imperial court’s employees liked. While he wore his emotions on his sleeves unlike his father, he was more domineering than his father. Nevertheless, having all of his emotions worn as a coat was not always a good thing, either.

Not even after Ming Feizhen hit him with a shuttle did his Majesty look so mad. The atmosphere in the palace was comparable to a thunder bolt waiting to strike from behind dark clouds.

“Ming Feizhen, do you know what your error is?”

Following a shudder, Ming Feizhen froze on his feet.

His Majesty pointed a finger at Ming Feizhen. “What do you have left to say?”

Since he did not hear Ming Feizhen’s utterance, His Majesty instructed, “Step forward and respond.”

After taking a few steps forward, Ming Feizhen uttered a few incomplete sentences, which His Majesty was relieved to see. It was rare to find someone so lazy, easy to trigger and laugh at in the imperial court.

“Cut the muttering and speak clearly.”

Ming Feizhen assumed Emperor’s Entourage had reported back about Elise, which he was going to have a hard time explaining. It was fair for His Majesty to be angry and upset. He knew Emperor Yuansheng was a decent Emperor and someone worth befriending, so he did not want to let the ruler down. As such, he straightened his torso, held his hands in salute and, with dilated pupils, voiced, “Your Majesty, Your Subject… Blegh!”

“Fark! Ming Feizhen! Ming Feizhen! My antique vase!”

*Cue a graceful melody*

Ming Feizhen tightly held onto the shoulders that felt as though they would separate from the fatigued ruler’s shoulders. In order to calm His Majesty down, as he patted His Majesty on the back, Ming Feizhen assured, “Burp, who angered you, Your Majesty?! Your subject shall destroy him!”

The sincerity quelled some of His Majesty’s anger. He looked to Ming Feizhen and expressed, “Duke Ming, I am touched to hear that. However, could you not project your voice in that direction? I’m standing behind you.”

“Huh?” Ming Feizhen narrowed his eyes for a closer look. “What is this, then?”

“A potty.”

Ming Feizhen hastily set the potty down. “Sorry, sorry, you are just so similar.”

“What?”

“Y-your subject meant that, uh… your potty is a potty. Your subject could not mix you two up, right?”

His Majesty shook his head. “How much did you drink?”

“Uh…” Ming Feizhen quickly ran out of fingers to count with, so he started counting both hands. “Over six hundred drinks last night.”

“Your sure hold your liquor well.’

“Another eight-hundred-plus at daybreak.”

“…”

“In the morning…”

“Stay far, far away from my furniture. Wang Tushui, get him a basin and some water.”

After he and the vomit mess he made was cleaned up, Ming Feizhen refreshed himself with a drink of water. Getting drunk was never a concern for someone with his calibre of internal energy, but what would be the point of drinking if one could not get drunk? To ensure he was maximally entertained, he scoured Mount Daluo’s manuals until he found a fragmented book that taught a method of inhibiting internal energy whilst drinking, which he decided to name “So Sound an Emperor Can’t Wake Me”. One he utilised his internal energy again, he was able to counteract the effects of alcohol in no time at all.

Ming Feizhen exhaled and then finally smiled. “Your Majesty, did you summon your subject for something urgent?”

“… Can you get off my table first?”

“Oh, apologies.”

While he was in his drunken stupor, Ming Feizhen did not know where to rest, so he somehow chose to lie down on the table.

“It was an accident.”

His Majesty maintained a straight face throughout, but it was obvious that he was angry. “You must have had a lot of fun last night, Duke Ming.”

Wearing a small smile, Ming Feizhen lowered his head. “You speak in jest, Your Majesty. Your subject was merely lucky to have survived, so he was happy and stepped out of line.”

His Majesty pulled his brows together. “Happy? Hiding Demon Sect’s holy maiden by your side is something to be happy about? How about I tell you what’s even more worth celebrating. I shall pass down an edict stating that anyone who shelters affiliates of Demon Sect will be severely punished. How is the decorated Yan Shisan doing now? It seems your recent successes have gotten to your head. Happy, are you? I shall demote you seven ranks, and you can go tend to the fields in the countryside. When you’re no longer happy, we can talk.”

Seeing Ming Feizhen smile, His Majesty continued, “You think it’s funny? You must be really happy. How about you just g-”

“It is but only a minor matter, Your Majesty… Your Majesty, Orange Prince has passed away.”

Ming Feizhen saw despair in His Majesty’s eyes. The latter’s anger was but a cover for his immense sorrow. What could have hurt someone more than losing their child?

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