Merchant Crab

Adventurers. Both the bane of Balthazar’s existence and the main source of his beloved gold coins. The crab in him didn’t want to deal with them, the merchant in him needed to deal with them.

A crustacean conundrum.

They were usually loud, messy, annoying, and for the most part not the brightest candle in the chandelier. Living a life of chasing treasure and experience all across the world, the average adventurer would often meet a sudden end by the claw of an angry beast or at the bottom of a chasm in some dungeon. Sometimes they’d also perish outside a crab’s home, for whatever reason. That one happened way more frequently than one would expect.

Their poor judgment and lack of common sense meant they’d constantly risk their safety for both priceless artifacts and useless junk alike. All while also having terrible money management skills, meaning they’d sell a unique relic they nearly died to acquire for peanuts, just to then turn around and spend half of their savings purchasing a useless trinket.

They were a necessary nuisance.

Balthazar just wished they would learn to at least clean up their boots before walking into his bazaar. It’s just basic manners.

“Hail, crab!” a tall and muscular man in a sleeveless leather vest exclaimed as he walked into the trading post through the front door with three other adventurers close behind.

Balthazar made his way from the back of the bazaar to his counter while rolling his eyestalks at the muddy wooden floorboards behind the humans.

And then they say I’m the wild animal.

“Hello there. I see you guys had an early start today.”

The crab reached for his golden monocle and equipped it on his left eye as usual. Above the heads of the four humans he saw a range of levels between 14 and 20, their classes a standard mix of physical fighter, damage tank, a ranged specialist, and a magical user of some sort. Just the typical party of young adventurers Balthazar had gotten used to seeing coming out of Ardville countless times before.

“That we did,” the muscular fighter and apparent party leader replied, a beaming smile spreading across his face. “It’s an exciting day, and we wanted to have a good shot at being the first ones to make it down here to enter the new dungeon. Looks like we did it!”

“Well, feel free to browse!” said the merchant.

Henrietta hopped up onto the counter and nodded a greeting at the clients before turning to the crab.

“You just came back home. Do you want me to handle the clients for now or do you want to take charge yourself?”

“It’s all good, Henrietta,” Balthazar said with a grin. “I got this, thanks. I’m eager to get back to doing business in my bazaar!”

Madeleine and Rye joined in from the back too, and upon seeing the slightly mischievous expression on the crab’s face as he eyed the adventurers who were conversing by the entrance, the baker approached him.

“I know that expression,” she said quietly so only those behind the counter would hear. “It’s the same one you make when I’m about to carve a slice of fresh pie for you. What are you thinking, Balthazar?”

The delighted crustacean turned his gaze to the girl.

“Why, isn’t it obvious, Madeleine?” he said. “I’m thinking of all the coin I’ll be making from the toll I’ll be charging these guys!”

“The toll?” the baker said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yes,” said Balthazar, his grin still wide. “I got the idea from a troll I met on a bridge while we were traveling.”

“Oh no…” Rye said with a slow roll of his eyes. “You’re not thinking what I think you are thinking, are you?”

“I don’t know, Rye. What do you think I’m thinking?”

The archer sighed.

“I did a quick scouting of the area around the mountain while you went into the dungeon. As far as I can tell, there are no other entrances into the dungeon, at least none as obvious as the one here. You’re going to take advantage of that fact, aren’t you?”

“You got that right!” the grinning crab replied. “If the only entrance into this new dungeon is right behind my land, I’m going to take a lesson from that troll guarding the only bridge over that river we needed to cross that one time, and charge a toll for passage!”

Rye pinched the space between his eyes and winced slightly.

“I didn’t think that was the lesson you had taken from that encounter, you know?”

Balthazar shrugged. “It was one of them.”

Standing between the adventurer and the merchant, the baker crossed her arms and furrowed her brow.

“So wait,” she said. “You’re planning to charge money from every adventurer for going into a dungeon you don’t really own? How does that work?”

The merchant chuckled and raised a pincer.

“Not quite, my dear baker,” he explained. “I’m not going to charge a fee for entering the dungeon. I’m going to charge a toll for crossing my property in order to reach the entrance, as is my right since this is my territory, as even the good mayor of Ardville recognized. Those adventurers are free to not pay and find some other way inside that doesn’t involve trekking their muddy boots through my beautiful land.”

“But I just told you that there is no other entrance into the dungeon,” said Rye.

“Well, that’s too bad for them!” the sly crab said. “And really good for me!”

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The archer shrugged and sighed again. “I guess you’re the businesscrab here. You’d know better.”

“Thank you,” Balthazar said, puffing himself up and adjusting his monocle with a smug expression. “Now I just need to figure out how high of a fee I can get away with charging these fools. I’m thinking I’ll start with 50 gold and scale up from there. If they can’t afford it, no shiny new dungeon for them.”

Madeleine whipped her braid of strawberry blonde hair behind her back with one hand before assuming a thoughtful expression, rubbing her chin softly as her gaze fixed on the countertop surface and her brow knitted in consideration.

“I think you’re wrong,” she finally said after a few seconds.

Both the archer and the merchant turned to her with raised eyebrows of surprise. Or rather, one with raised eyebrows, the other with raised eyestalks.

“You do?!” Balthazar said.

“Don’t misunderstand me,” the baker hurriedly said, raising both hands in a placating motion. “I’m not trying to tell you how to run your business. I just think you’re going about it the wrong way on this. But… that’s just my opinion, you don’t have to pay it any mind.”

Rye pulled one of the stools tucked behind the counter and sat on it. “Well, I know I’d love to hear your take on this now, Madeleine. And I’m sure Balthazar would too, right, big guy?”

The crab shook his eyestalks, snapping out of his surprised state.

“Yeah… Yes!” he said, gaze darting from one human to the other. “I mean, if you think I’m missing something, I wouldn’t mind hearing it. Go on, tell me more, Madeleine.”

The young woman smiled timidly, as if surprised by her own attitude.

“Well, I just think that you’d be better off letting the adventurers pass through to the dungeon for free.”

Balthazar rolled his eyestalks.

“I know you’re a nice girl, Madeleine,” he said, “but I’m running a business here. Leaving money on the table and passing on an opportunity for profit is not good for business.”

“Come on, Balthazar,” Rye interjected. “Let her finish.”

The baker nodded gently at the archer in gratitude before inhaling deeply and continuing.

“I’m not telling you to lose money, Balthazar,” Madeleine said, steadying her voice and straightening her back. “In fact, I’m considering how you could make more of it.”

The crab’s eyestalks stood to attention at the mention of more money.

“Wouldn’t it be in your best interest,” she continued, “to have as many adventurers as possible go into that dungeon? The more of them that go in, the more loot that will be brought out. And who will be right here, ready to trade with them as they exit, tired and encumbered, eager to sell their spoils so they can go get some rest? That’s right, you will.”

Balthazar stared at her with no small amount of surprise.

“I mean… you’re not wrong.”

“So you see how putting any kind of obstacles to them going in would be counterproductive and go against your best interests, right?” the baker added, her tone growing more confident with each sentence. “If I own a bakery, I’m not going to charge people to come in and do business with me. I want more clients, so I should facilitate that, not put up barriers to make it harder for them. I know you’re the merchant, Balthazar, and I’m just a baker, but I also do my share of trading and business with my craft, and… and I think this would be the smarter move in the long run.”

The crab stared at her with a blank expression. He now felt equal parts surprised and proud.

Rye grinned from ear to ear, looking at the young woman with gleaming eyes of admiration.

“Besides,” Madeleine added, “you want to find out what’s the deal with the sudden eruption of chocolate next to your pond, don’t you? Well, you already saw that you can’t just stroll in there and get answers. So it would be smart to let as many adventurers as possible get in there, explore the place, map it out, make it safer, and hopefully uncover its secrets. Everybody wins, right?”

Balthazar continued looking at her, perplexed, until Rye spoke up.

“That’s actually a great point, Madeleine! Not only do adventurers going in mean lots of loot and coin coming out, but it will also help figure out what caused the mountain to erupt faster.”

“Thanks,” the girl said, her cheeks turning slightly rosier than usual. “I thought it made sense, but I’m no expert either, so if Balthazar thinks I’m talking nonsense, he doesn’t have to listen to me!”

“No,” the crab finally said, breaking away from his state of bafflement at his friend’s smart argument. “You made good points, Madeleine. I… I actually think your approach might be better than mine.”

The words felt strange coming out of the merchant’s mouth, and yet completely right to say.

“Wow,” Rye said with a cheeky smile. “That’s high praise coming from him, haha.”

The baker’s gaze went to the floor as she smiled and her cheeks turned a few extra shades pinker.

“A toll would be small change compared to the riches those guys might plunder in there,” Balthazar said. “And with the privileged location I have here, I have a lot more to gain by being their sponsor instead of a gatekeeper.”

“Exactly!” Madeleine exclaimed, her sparkling eyes shooting up to meet the crab’s. “You just put into better words what I was trying to say! Make friends with them instead of becoming a roadblock in their path.”

The merchant crossed his arms and smiled at his friend.

“You know, I had no idea you had such good business instincts. I’m starting to think your time with that dragon might have done you some good. You seem to have learned a thing or two.”

Madeleine raised both eyebrows at him before letting out a short giggle.

“Beatrix? Oh, no, I don’t think I got these instincts from her. It’s way more likely that I’ve just picked up a thing or two from hanging out near you so much, mister!”

The three of them laughed loudly behind the counter as the leader of the party of adventurers approached.

“You guys seem to be in a good mood,” the smiling man said. “Anyway, we’ve double-checked our supplies and we think we’re ready to head into this new dungeon. We noticed the entrance is behind your bazaar, past your pond. You think it would be alright for us to cross through your place to get there?”

Balthazar turned on his stool and placed both pincers on the counter’s surface, his best merchant smile plastered across his face.

“Of course, friend!” he said. “You guys are more than welcome to go through my bazaar to go into the Semla Dungeon. Just remember us on your way back, when you come out full of riches! We will be waiting with the best deals!”

The sleeveless fighter grinned and gestured for his partners to come over.

“Thanks, crab! We knew you were an alright guy!”

“However!” the merchant said, raising up a claw as his expression turned serious. “I should warn you—great dangers await you inside.”

The party leader cocked an eyebrow at the crustacean. “How would you know?”

“Why, because I’ve been in there, of course!”

“You have?!” the muscular man exclaimed, his eyes, along with those of his party members, widening in a mix of disbelief and reverence.

“I was the very first to go in there once the entrance appeared,” the pleased crustacean said, swelling with pride. “All by myself.”

“No way! What can you tell us about what’s inside?!”

Balthazar let out a sly chuckle as he reached for a box on a shelf.

“First, I can tell you that no matter how many torches you guys brought, you will want to buy more. A lot more.”

***

While the crab sold an absurd amount of torches to a group of impressionable adventurers in his bazaar, some distance away, down the road and by the edge of the Black Forest, a figure appeared from the treeline.

An ominous and cold breeze blew through the leaves above and the grass below as more shadowy silhouettes emerged from the darkness of the forest behind their leader.

The mysterious figure’s keen eyes peered through a pair of tinted glasses at the snowy mountain above before looking down, at a delicate artifact spinning on itself—an astrolabe.