Middle-aged Love Patch

Returning to her room in the game, Xu Youyuan received a system email. Opening it, she found a "Clearance Treasure Chest" waiting to be claimed.

Xu Youyuan selected "Claim," and after a brief loading screen, the treasure chest appeared with a loud "bang" in her otherwise empty room, leaving a temporary crater on the floor before it quickly restored itself.

Getting rewards for clearing a stage was standard, but Xu Youyuan couldn’t help feeling a little excited when the chest appeared.

After all, wasn’t this the moment ordinary—or even impoverished—players like her worked so hard for?

She swiftly tore it open, and a crisp female voice echoed in the room:

"Dear player 'Nothing,' thank you for participating in the 2035 Season Adventure Theme’s second stage. Congratulations on clearing it and earning this treasure chest! Please check your rewards promptly and enjoy the fruits of your victory."

Inside the chest were 100,000 in-game gold coins, a common item, a common vehicle, and a "Glorious Epic Gift Box."

Xu Youyuan’s attention was immediately drawn to those six words: "Glorious Epic Gift Box." As she touched the box, the voice continued:

"This is the spoils of conquering the second stage of this season’s adventure scenario. Upon opening, you may obtain: a massive amount of in-game currency, special skins, epic-tier equipment, or a diamond-tier summoning card."

Xu Youyuan took a deep breath, logged out, and performed a ritual cleansing—bathing and burning incense to purify herself—before logging back in to open the chest.

"Where did you go? You were offline for so long—"

Just as she was about to open the chest, Shi Yue sent a voice message, inviting her to her room for a "date."

Xu Youyuan readily clicked "Accept," but out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a white figure. Turning her head, she startled: "Who are you?!"

Standing in her room was none other than the white serpent from the "Flooding Jinshan" scenario.

"What, you don’t recognize me just because I changed outfits?" The serpent’s appearance was unmistakable, but the voice was unmistakably Shi Yue’s.

"How did you get the white serpent skin?"

"Opened it from the epic gift box in my clearance chest. Got a special skin called 'White Serpent: Flooding Jinshan,' plus a ton of gold—one million." Shi Yue glanced at the unopened gift box in front of Xu Youyuan and eagerly stepped forward. "Let me open it for you."

"Hands off!" Xu Youyuan immediately blocked her. "This is a sacred moment—I have to do it myself!"

"But your luck’s been terrible lately. Aren’t you afraid you’ll just pull trash?"

"Trash is my specialty! Even if it’s garbage, I want to be the one to pick it up! Don’t touch it!"

"Fine." Shi Yue obediently sat down nearby. "Can I at least watch you open it?"

Xu Youyuan patted her head, taking a closer look at the white serpent skin. It was surprisingly detailed. The facial features were still Shi Yue’s custom avatar, but the makeup was far more alluring—her lips a vivid red, as if she’d just feasted on a child, radiating an aura of untouchable menace, as though she might unleash another "Flooding Jinshan" at any moment.

Now, though, Shi Yue had been scolded into sitting on the floor, her posture clashing hilariously with her fierce, bewitching appearance. She propped her head in her hands, looking utterly dejected.

Xu Youyuan glanced at her. "Why are you sitting on the floor?"

"Nowhere else to sit." Shi Yue looked around. "You haven’t added any furniture to this room, have you? It’s still in its default state."

"Can’t compare to your room, full of 'little thoughtful touches.'"

"Little thoughtful touches?" Shi Yue perked up. "You noticed something?"

"Noticed that you’re a hardworking, studious, book-loving good girl."

Shi Yue’s raised eyebrows drooped, unimpressed. "Well, yeah. The title 'Queen of Grinding' isn’t just for show."

"What kind of outdated title is that?" Xu Youyuan opened the in-game store and selected a 5,888-coin beanbag chair, asking Shi Yue what color she preferred.

"Anything’s fine. Red looks nice."

Xu Youyuan: "...Just say you like red."

"Why ask me?"

"Because I’m buying it for you. I’m not the one sitting in it."

After selecting red and completing the purchase, a red beanbag chair spun into existence behind Shi Yue, lifting her into the air before dropping her onto its plush surface with a bounce.

"Comfy!"

The chair had looked small in the preview, but once placed in the room, it was clear—this wasn’t a single-seater. Two people could easily lounge on it.

"It’s really soft, Xu Youyuan. Come try it!" Shi Yue rolled around on it enthusiastically.

"You—be careful." Xu Youyuan glanced over before quickly turning back to the treasure chest. "You’re wearing a skirt."

"Oh..." Shi Yue pressed down on her skirt and sat up properly.

Xu Youyuan examined the two rare skins she’d obtained: one was "Bronze Saint Shun," which added 600 defense points, and the other was "Wu Zetian," granting 1,890 majesty points.

"What does 'majesty' do?" Xu Youyuan asked Shi Yue.

"No idea." Shi Yue shrugged. "Try it out when we enter the next stage."

"How do you not know? Didn’t you clear both the horror and romance themes already?"

Xu Youyuan smirked, half-expecting Shi Ye to call at that exact moment.

"Hey, no need to be like that." Shi Yue waved a hand. "Alright, fine, I lied. I haven’t unlocked the other two themes either. Just wanted to trick a pro into carrying me. And look—it worked. Got you, didn’t I?"

Xu Youyuan laughed. "Yeah. Sure. Absolutely."

"Wow, three affirmatives dripping with sarcasm?"

"Don’t overthink it. You picked the right person. Just sit back and let me carry you."

"Carry me?"

"...Never mind. Just an old slang phrase. Forget it." Xu Youyuan turned back to the chest. "There’s still a common item and a common vehicle. A 'Universal Pack'—lets you carry five items or weapons. That’s useful."

Shi Yue grinned. "Guess what I got from mine?"

"With your luck? Probably something amazing."

Shi Yue smirked and pulled something out from behind her, cradling it in her palms.

A ​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​‍chubby pink piggy bank.

The plump little pig nearly filled Shi Yue’s entire hand, made of traditional ceramic with a narrow slot on its back for coins. It let out a few contented "oinks," rolled over in her palm, sniffed, and promptly fell asleep.

"It’s so cute!" Xu Youyuan reached over to poke it. "What does it do? Does it give interest on the money you save?"

"Actually, yes. Annual interest rate of 8%, crushing most financial products. A literal golden goose—well, pig."

Xu Youyuan checked the vehicle next. "A 2030-model commuter car. No modifications, so probably can’t fire missiles. And it’s liver-colored..."

Shi Yue: "What were you expecting, a tank? Come on, the main event’s here—open the epic gift box already! I can’t wait!"

Xu Youyuan took a deep breath and, with utmost solemnity, opened the "Glorious Epic Gift Box."

Two dazzling items burst forth. Ignoring the glare stinging her eyes, Xu Youyuan lunged forward.

Like Shi Yue, she’d gotten two rewards: a skin called "Xu Xian: Moment of Clarity," and a diamond-tier summoning card.

"Xu Xian’s skin?!" Xu Youyuan’s vision darkened in despair. "Who the hell wants to wear his outfit?!"

Shi Yue was thrilled: "Put it on, put it on! Not only did you unlock Xu Xian’s outfit, but you’re also surnamed Xu. I got the White Snake—it’s a matching couple’s set! How rare is that? Come on, let me see you in it."

Xu Youyuan frowned and closed her eyes. "No."

"Please? You’ve already unlocked it. It’s not like it’ll turn into something else if you don’t wear it."

"No."

Shi Yue didn’t argue further. Instead, she tugged at Xu Youyuan’s sleeve, giving her the most pitiful look imaginable.

Xu Youyuan sighed. "...You’re impossible. It’s just an outfit. What’s so special about it?"

Shi Yue continued staring at her with puppy-dog eyes.

Xu Youyuan relented. "...Fine. But if I put it on, you’re not allowed to laugh."

Shi Yue nodded eagerly, swearing up and down that she absolutely wouldn’t laugh!

Xu Youyuan felt like she was humoring a child by dressing up as a clown. Steeling herself, she grabbed the "Xu Xian – Sudden Realization" outfit and selected "Equip."

The moment the Xu Xian outfit materialized, she found herself clad in simple yet elegant robes, her posture straight and her features sharpened into a more masculine, chiseled appearance.

Standing in front of the mirror, Xu Youyuan noticed she was taller now, with thicker eyebrows, a squarer jaw, and thinner lips—though traces of her original face remained.

The "White Snake" sidled up beside her, their reflections appearing side by side in the mirror. Shi Yue grinned up at her. "You’re taller than me now. This angle is rare."

Xu Youyuan was about to fire back a retort, but the moment she turned and saw Shi Yue’s White Snake form, she suddenly dropped to her knees in a dramatic kowtow, clutching Shi Yue’s legs and wailing:

"My wife—I was wrong—please forgive me!"

Tears gushed from her eyes like twin fountains, spraying comically in opposite directions.

Shi Yue nearly died laughing. Xu Youyuan tried to stand up, but her body wouldn’t obey—now she understood what "Sudden Realization" meant. The moment she saw the White Snake, she was compelled to beg for forgiveness.

"You said you wouldn’t laugh! And now you’re cackling like a maniac!"

Shi Yue collapsed onto the floor, wheezing.

Once the cursed Xu Xian finally stopped crying and regained control, Xu Youyuan, dazed, immediately unequipped the outfit.

Shi Yue was still rolling around on the beanbag, laughing uncontrollably. Xu Youyuan pounced on her, pinching her waist. "Keep laughing, I dare you."

Shi Yue squirmed. "Stop! Xu Youyuan! Aren’t you too old for this?"

Xu Youyuan had discovered her weakness and wasn’t about to let go. "I’m childish? You’re the one who made me this way. Enjoy the wrath of your childish aunt."

Shi Yue couldn’t take it. Tears welled up as she let out a yelp, her dark eyes rolling back. With a flick of her sleeve, a deluge of water crashed down from above, drenching Xu Youyuan completely.

Xu Youyuan’s face was nearly washed off by the force, and she toppled backward. In seconds, the entire room was flooded...

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to unleash that. Must be an ability tied to the outfit. But it’s not my fault! If you hadn’t messed with me, I wouldn’t have transformed into the White Snake. Now we’re stuck bailing water."

After unequipping the White Snake outfit, Shi Yue rolled up her pants, her calves still submerged. She bought two wooden buckets from the in-game store—the kind Shaolin monks used for training—and started scooping water out with Xu Youyuan.

Xu Youyuan’s back was killing her. She glared at Shi Yue. "Shut up. If you hadn’t laughed at me, I wouldn’t have messed with you."

Shi Yue had almost forgotten about Xu Youyuan’s humiliating leg-clinging performance, but the reminder sent her into another fit of suppressed giggles.

"Try laughing one more time."

"I’m not—pfft—hahaha—"

"Goodbye." Xu Youyuan logged off.

After logging out, Shi Yue lay on her bed, laughing for a good while longer. Her AI dog sat beside her, observing.

"Shi Yue, your heart rate is elevated. Should I call an ambulance?"

Wiping away tears, Shi Yue sat up and shook her head. "I’m fine. Run me a bath."

The AI dog trotted off to the bathroom while Shi Yue went to her study and pulled out a box filled with scented bath bombs.

She used to think these were too girly, but today, she was in such a good mood that she couldn’t resist.

"Shi Yue, your bath is ready. Water temperature is 37°C. Adjustments needed?" The AI dog returned, its head slightly damp, tail wagging.

"No, good job." Shi Yue patted its head, brushing off the water, then undressed and headed to the bathroom.

"Bathroom" was an understatement—the entire floor below had been converted into a swimming pool.

The apartment was hers. Floors 27, 28, and 29—all purchased and merged, with a hidden elevator only she and the AI dog could access.

When she’d told her sister she was renting the 28th floor for 50,000 a month, that had been a lie.

Tossing the bath bomb into the pool, she watched as it fizzed and swirled, dyeing the water into a swirling galaxy. The steam rising from the surface bloomed into holographic flowers, their fragrance filling the air.

Turning off the lights, the bathroom became a starry cosmos.

Shi Yue sank into the hot water, letting it soothe her tired muscles.

At one end of the pool, floor-to-ceiling windows offered a panoramic view of the river. At this hour, the city was quiet, save for the occasional distant horn of a cruise ship.

Holding her breath, Shi Yue floated on her back. The artificial stars from the bath bomb blended seamlessly with the real night sky outside, making her feel as though she were adrift in space.

The warm water cradled her, easing her exhaustion.

Just as she’d imagined—this was like being in the "Remaking the Universe" simulation.

Floating peacefully in this familiar cosmos, the same universe where Shi Yue had once wandered countless galaxies, searching for traces of Xu Youyuan...

Meanwhile, Xu Youyuan’s world was pitch black.

She’d just tried to boil water for a bath, but the moment she plugged in the heater, sparks flew—the temperature controller had shorted again!

After resetting the circuit breaker outside, Xu Youyuan trudged back inside, defeated.

Secondhand appliances were so unreliable.

A gust of wind ripped open the window she’d just taped shut. Bracing against the cold, she hurried to seal it again.

Leaning against the window, she heard the sound of shattering bottles amid the howling wind—another brawl downstairs.

Impressive how people could still fight in this freezing weather.

After securing the window, Xu Youyuan propped a clothes hanger against it as a makeshift barricade. If anyone tried breaking in, at least it’d buy her time. Not that Shuang would be any help.

She scribbled a list of things to buy, planning to send her assistant to scout the secondhand market first. If they couldn’t find what she needed, she’d have to buy new.

She really wanted to move out of the western suburbs. If only she had the money...

Her pen suddenly stopped mid-stroke. After a moment’s thought, she logged back into the game to confirm something—the Xu Xian outfit could be gifted.

Her heart soared.

Perfect!

She logged onto the Caps website and entered the "Dark Box" section, only to find that the exclusive skins there were incredibly popular. Since it was the S1 season qualifiers, all the skins obtained from loot boxes weren’t available in the store, making them extremely rare.

The "Fahai: No Dog Food" skin was currently up for auction, already bid up to 4,988 RMB. A refresh later, it jumped to 5,188. Another refresh, and it hit 5,388...

Xu Youyuan kept her eyes glued to the Fahai skin auction. She had expected it to be pricey, but the final bid still took her by surprise—it sold for a staggering 13,988 RMB.

Who would’ve thought this ridiculous Fahai skin could fetch such a high price?

Then again, it made sense. Dark Box was the hottest app right now, and skins from the first season were bound to be rare. She wasn’t sure how many teams had made it to the third stage of the adventure theme, but judging by the frenzy in the auction, the "Xu Xian" skin still had room for higher bids.

Xu Youyuan quickly put hers up for auction, and the Xu Xian skin eventually sold for 19,888 RMB. The buyer even spammed the chat, offering to pay top dollar for the White Snake and Green Snake skins.

Seeing the extra 20,000 in her account, Xu Youyuan felt both thrilled and bittersweet. She immediately sent a WeChat message to Shi Yue: "Free after work tomorrow? Let me treat you to something delicious!"