My Desertion Would Be Faster Than Heros’ Obsession

Wait a second. The more I think about it, the angrier I get. Why am I, in a romance fantasy world, using terms like “fellow recruits” and “squad leader”?

“Alright, listen up. I’ll be giving you a brief rundown of your life in the Border Defense Corps,” said the man who had ridden with us in the cart. He glared at us with a sharp, intimidating gaze.

Only now did I realize that he wasn’t just a senior soldier—he was our squad leader.

‘Seriously, why am I even calling him “squad leader” in a romance fantasy world?’

“Some of you probably weren’t ready when your contract magic activated and got dragged here against your will. But no amount of denial will change your reality.”

At his words, one of the recruits, who had been sniffling quietly, stopped crying.

“And as you all know, desertion is impossible because of the magic.”

My face grew darker.

“At least there’s one bit of good news for you: the Border Defense Corps pays well! The rewards and pensions you’ll earn are amounts you’d never even dream of seeing in any other job.”

‘So, they’re throwing money at us to keep us from revolting as a group, huh?’

But no amount of money would make fighting monsters an appealing job… and eight years? Who serves for eight years? At least shorten the service period, for heaven’s sake.

“If you complete your eight years of service, you’ll walk away with 3,000 markne!”

At that, everyone’s eyes widened. Mine included.

3,000 markne. That was a sum so absurdly high I couldn’t even comprehend it.

‘I’ve heard 1,000 markne is enough to buy a house in the capital.’

And 3,000 markne? That’s three houses in the capital. Who even pays that much?

If they were offering enough money to buy three houses in exchange for eight years of service… maybe I could grit my teeth and survive it.

“And the pension is more than enough to live comfortably on every month!”

‘Okay… even the pension is tempting.’

Back in my previous world, people chased public service jobs for the stable salaries and pensions. This… wasn’t so different.

‘And anyway, this is the military in a romance fantasy setting. It has to be different from the military I know… right?’

I began convincing myself. The original female lead did find love in this military, after all. That senior earlier? He probably just spoke harshly to scare us but didn’t mean it. Right? …Right?

The squad leader continued explaining the structure of our eight years of service.

“For the first two years, you’ll be trainees. That doesn’t mean you’ll avoid combat, but training will be your primary focus.”

Two years as a trainee? Are you kidding me? XX.

“After that, you’ll serve two years as privates, handling the bulk of the unit’s responsibilities.”

The more I listened, the more this system started to feel… oddly familiar.

“Then, you’ll be promoted to corporal for the next two years.”

I wasn’t a soldier in my previous life, but thanks to popular military reality shows, I knew the basics.

‘Isn’t this just private, corporal, and sergeant? Except stretched out over two years each?’

The only difference was that this fantasy military extended each rank for an unreasonably long time, but the structure itself seemed similar to the one I’d heard about back on Earth.

‘XX. This is a real military, isn’t it?’

The sinking feeling in my gut refused to go away.

‘But it’s still a romance fantasy military. The female lead had a love story here, didn’t she?’

As I tried to comfort myself with that thought, the squad leader moved on to the final rank.

“In your last two years, you’ll leave this unit and be assigned to different divisions as platoon officers.”

Now, that was different. Platoon officers? That sounded more like a leadership role than a regular soldier.

‘What’s the term for that? Squad leader? No, maybe non-commissioned officer?’

My dad used to drone on and on about his military days whenever he had a few drinks. If I’d known I’d end up living it, I might have paid more attention.

“Some of you might be wondering why we split you up into other units. You might even think it’s strange for so many soldiers to become platoon officers.”@@novelbin@@

The squad leader grinned, and the ominous gleam in his eyes made the air feel cold.

“But by the time you finish, not all of you will still be alive. Overstaffing won’t be an issue.”

With that, his explanation ended, leaving a deathly silence in its wake.

‘XX. Of course, they’re not just giving away 3,000 markne for free.’

Most soldiers wouldn’t live long enough to collect it. That’s how the empire kept its coffers full.

That’s probably how the original Salvia—the body I’d been reincarnated into—died, too. Fighting monsters.

XX. Someone give me my romance fantasy back.

***

Today Marks 2,920 Days Until My Discharge

No matter how I think about it, this whole situation is utterly ridiculous.

I used to be a devoted reader of Four Madmen Obsessed with Me. The novel wasn’t overly long, around 130 chapters, and the author had a concise style that made it easy to follow without straining your brain.

Foreshadowing never lingered for more than three chapters, so you didn’t have to worry about forgetting key details. And the cliffhangers? Absolute masterpieces. You couldn’t help but click on the next chapter.

The male leads were also incredibly easy to remember, which was a huge bonus. Heavy readers of romance fantasy know how often you mix up the countless leads and side characters in other novels. But not here.

‘Ah, this one’s the fire element guy. Who’s next? Oh, the cool ice-type sub-lead. Then there’s the sweet but secretly scheming one, and finally the adorable puppy-like guy.’

Classic tropes, but effective. Each character left an immediate impression.

For these reasons, I binged the entire novel in one day.

While it was just a light read for me, the military setting and the unique mix of fantasy elements seemed to have drawn a dedicated fanbase. The novel’s portrayal of the army, however, was… a little different.

“Are you the new recruit?”

“Yes! Nice to meet you! I’m Dalin!”

“…Nice to meet you? Haven’t you been briefed?”

“Oh, right! Nice to meet you! I’m Dalin!”

“What?”

“Nice to meet you! This is how you’re supposed to say it, right?”

“…Pfft! Haha, it’s been a while since we’ve had a funny recruit!”

In the original, the female lead, Dalin, casually talked back to her seniors and somehow charmed them into laughter.

“Sniff, sniff…”

“Dalin, what’s wrong?”

“I… I lost my sword…”

“You’re crying because you lost standard issue equipment?”

“Sniff, yes… What do I do now…?”

“Here. Take mine.”

“What? Really?”

“I’ll say I lost it instead.”

“But—”

“Don’t say anything else.”

Whenever Dalin misplaced government-issued gear, the male leads would generously offer their own without a second thought.

“Um, what do I do about this?”

“Haven’t you learned how to channel energy into your weapon yet?”

“Oh, not really…”

“That’s fine. I’ll teach you. Put your hand on the sword.”

“Thank you! Hehe!”

“Now, grip it tightly… and swing!”

“Eek!”

“Feel like you’re getting the hang of it?”

“Yes! By the way, about that monster I failed to kill earlier—what happens now?”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it.”

Did Dalin ever actually slay any monsters? Not once. Thinking back, wasn’t the original female lead just an adorable disaster? Practically legendary in her incompetence.

Still, that’s how the military was portrayed in Four Madmen Obsessed with Me: a place where seniors and juniors joked around, male leads covered for the female lead’s mistakes, and instead of slaying monsters, she ended up slaying the hearts of her admirers.

‘So why has this turned into an exposé of military abuse?’

Those romance fantasy heroines who scream, “Oh my, the male lead is obsessed with me!” need to be reincarnated into this world. Only then will they realize how merciful an obsessive male lead truly is.

If one of the male leads were to start obsessively locking me up, I think I’d gladly let it happen. Being confined in a luxurious mansion sounds way better than being imprisoned in this military hellhole. XX.

‘Is this some kind of parallel world? Isn’t this supposed to be a romance fantasy? Because this doesn’t look anything like the military I read about.’

These thoughts swirled in my head as I endured something resembling a plank position for what felt like hours. My entire body trembled uncontrollably, and I was on the verge of collapsing when one of the other recruits finally gave out, prompting the seniors to make him roll on the ground.

“Look at that! You all have such incredible potential, and yet you were completely unaware of it,” one senior said, clearly satisfied as we struggled to endure.

“Only violence and fear can save us all.”

‘XX, is this even a line that should exist in a romance fantasy novel?’

Something’s definitely wrong with this world. I’ve probably thought that exact sentence fifty times today alone. And every time, I’ve meant it wholeheartedly.

“Alright, that’s enough.”

The sweet sound of salvation finally came, and we all collapsed to the ground like a row of dominoes.

“Who told you to lie down? Get up. Now.”

‘XX…’

Swearing seems to be the only way to get through this. XX.

As I staggered to my feet with a scowl, I accidentally made eye contact with one of my fellow recruits.

‘Oh.’

Jet-black hair brushed against his forehead, and his sharp orange eyes with upturned corners radiated an icy intensity. Although he still looked like a teenager, not quite an adult, his gaze carried a quiet, unreadable depth.

‘This must be…’

The male lead Aquila, the one who made me realize this world was Four Madmen Obsessed with Me.

Described in the original as reserved and endlessly patient, he currently wore the most desperate “I want to desert right now” expression I’d ever seen.

So, he’s human after all.

At this rate, forget obsessing over me—Aquila looks like he’s going to desert before I even get the chance.