My Desertion Would Be Faster Than Heros’ Obsession

“As soon as I’m assigned to a new unit, it’s the Crown Prince… My energy is completely spent. I won’t do a thing for the next two years…”

Elliot, sitting next to Taro, muttered the same as he collapsed beside him.

“To think we’d have the Crown Prince just six months before our discharge, damn it! I’m going to spend the remaining half-year living the easiest life possible…”

“All unit training for this month is canceled... No, even next month is canceled...”

“The border post construction scheduled for this week... I don’t know, we’ll do it sometime…”

The company commander and platoon leader were also saying things that were hard to believe, and it reminded me once again that they, too, were just low-ranking soldiers.

After hearing them, it seemed like everyone finally exhaled a sigh of relief, as if a heavy burden had been lifted.

“Hey, no training today... just take it easy... No cleaning, no laundry... Let’s just live in filth for today.”

Plato said, lazily waving his hand with a tired expression.

“Hey, what was that earlier? I know you don’t have any flexibility, but you should know the right time and place.”

“My comrade Winter, were you out of your mind?”

Meanwhile, Altair and Yuri began to scold Winter.

“You almost got us all killed.”

“Come on, snap out of it, alright?”

It seemed like, at least among the Cool Mint Trio, the comrades were still comfortable with each other.

Then, Winter, who had silently listened to their criticism, suddenly raised his head. His expression seemed to signal that he had sensed something.

“…They’re coming.”

“What?”

“I can hear the sound of hooves. They’re definitely coming back. They’re getting closer.”

“What? What’s coming back...?! Aaaah!”@@novelbin@@

At Winter’s words, Altair turned toward the entrance of the unit and let out a short scream, his mouth wide open.

“Ugh! Aah!”

“…What, what is it? Ouch, that hurts!”

“No, no...”

Yuri followed Altair’s lead, screaming, and Taro, who had been sitting on the ground, rubbed his eyes with his sandy hands, then, like an idiot, grabbed his eyes in pain. Ishina, resembling a sickly heroine, clutched her temples and stumbled.

Yes, the unit members were that far gone. Because at the entrance of the unit stood...

‘Why is the Crown Prince over there, damn it?’

It was definitely the Crown Prince and his soldiers standing there!

‘What, what the hell…?’

The Crown Prince stood with such calm and composed posture that I almost doubted my own memory. Had the Crown Prince really left, or was I just imagining it because I wanted him gone so badly?

“What, what, what, what, what is this?”

But seeing Taro, who was repeating “what” so many times that he almost turned it into a beat, it didn’t seem like I was mistaken. He looked like he was beatboxing.

As we stared blankly at him with bewildered faces, the Crown Prince frowned and spoke.

“…What are you all doing sitting on the ground?”

“Your Highness… Weren’t you already gone?”

The company commander, who had at least regained some sense, asked with a stammering voice. I had never seen him so familiar with anyone before.

“I was on my way down when a big tree fell and blocked the path.”

“E-Excuse me?”

“Not only that, there were large holes dug along the way, and the path became completely impassable. I suspect it’s the work of monsters…”

“Yes, Your Highness is right. It could be the work of underground monsters.”

One of the guards standing next to the Crown Prince helped explain.

“It seems you all will need to deal with those monsters. However, it will take time to clear the path, so we’ll need to stay here tonight…”

“We can do it!”

The company commander shouted more desperately than I had ever heard him, even when hunting dangerous monsters. His voice was filled with a kind of determination I had never heard before.

“We can have the path cleared in a few hours! We’ll go down and take care of it right now!”

“No, there’s no need to rush…”

“It’s not a problem at all! Clearing the path is something we do often, it’s an easy task for us! Right, everyone?”

As the company commander looked around at us, we all shouted in unison. I never imagined something like this would happen—soldiers and their commanders working as one.

“Yes, that’s right!”

“We can handle a fallen tree by ourselves!”

“We can fill in those holes in five minutes!”

Of course, I had never cleared a path in the year since I joined the army, damn it. But did that really matter? We needed to get the Crown Prince down the mountain as quickly as possible.

Everyone’s heads were spinning fast, and determination began to burn in their eyes.

“Our unit, let’s go.”

The company commander and platoon leader stood side by side, staring at us with fiery eyes.

“To clear the path.”

***

“Fill it in! Fill it in, no matter what! Fill it in!”

“Fill the earth! Ugh! Cough, cough! We can do this! We have to do this!”

Every time Elliot shouted while pulling at his hair, a handful of it fell out. Taro couldn’t handle his own voice and yelled out, but kept coughing, though he didn’t stop shouting.

While the Crown Prince waited safely inside the unit, we scrambled to work on the ruined path.

‘Damn it, what kind of hellish labor is this...’

I picked up a shovel and began filling in the pit that had been torn apart. Every time I lifted the shovel, dirt scattered through the air, splattering everyone, but no one seemed to care.

“Damn these mole creatures, get rid of them all!”

Taro, upon spotting the giant mole infestation that had ruined the mountain, yelled with more enthusiasm than I had ever heard from him.

“Just like Winter! Our unit’s elite soldier!”

“That’s Winter for you! He’s back!”

Everyone cheered as they watched Winter, with his sword coated in ice aura, take down ten moles at once. If I hadn’t had a shovel in my hand, I would’ve applauded as well.

‘Yeah, that’s the male lead’s power!’

“Aquila! Amazing! You’re doing great!”

“Yeah, just like Aquila!”

Aquila, holding a sword wrapped in fire aura, melted the frozen ground that Winter had iced over, smoothing out the bumpy terrain. The unit members showered him with praise as well.

Seeing Aquila and Winter finally act like male leads made me almost tear up…

Yeah, this is what a male lead should be!

I’m pretty sure “being a male lead” didn’t have this meaning back in the day, but it seems like the meaning has long since been warped inside me.

‘From now on, let’s say the more skilled an A-rank soldier is, the higher their male lead potential!’

“It’s almost done! Fill it in! Fill it all in!”

Of course, no matter how competent Aquila and Winter were, I couldn’t stop tears from flowing from my eyes as I filled in these holes…

In my past life, I heard that a two-star general could move mountains…

‘How many stars does a Crown Prince have, anyway…?’

While the Crown Prince didn’t move mountains, it was now proven that he could certainly fill one in.

‘This is happening, damn it...’

***

“…It’s really over.”

Finally, as we watched the Crown Prince make his way down the mountain along the perfectly flattened path we had made, we embraced each other inside the unit and celebrated our victory.

‘What on earth just happened?’

I looked up at the blue sky with vacant eyes. It felt like a whirlwind of events had rushed at me over the past few days, and I no longer had the energy to think...

“Haah…”

Karon let out a deep sigh, exhausted, and collapsed next to me.

“Karon, you really worked hard...”

“I... I was excited because I thought I’d get to see the Crown Prince, Your Highness...”

“Aha, did you think of him like some fairy tale prince? Well, he did look like a prince on a white horse, that’s for sure.”

I teased him with a chuckle, and Karon, embarrassed, blushed but tilted his head in confusion.

“A prince on a white horse... what do you mean?”

“Yeah, the prince on a white horse.”

But Karon seemed clueless, as if he didn’t even understand what I was talking about. It seemed like he’d forgotten all about fairy tales.

Looks like I’d have to revive his sense of childhood wonder.

“Prince on a white horse is a common figure in fairy tales... Usually, it’s a blond prince who rides a white horse and saves a princess kidnapped by a dragon. Then they get married.”

“Do dragons kidnap humans?”

“No, the dragons in fairy tales aren’t really dragons...”

Come to think of it, with all the brutal monsters in this Border Defense Army, I wasn’t sure if I could revive his sense of innocence after all...

“Anyway, dragons don’t attack people, they just kidnap princesses... Um, why do they kidnap them? Let me think…”

...Wait, why do dragons kidnap princesses? This makes no sense!

“So, they’re like... the Border Defense Army... In fairy tales, princesses always get kidnapped by dragons, for some reason. It just happens, so you go along with it.”

I guess, in our case, we serve in the Border Defense Army under forced service, like how princesses are forced to serve under the dragons. Honestly, my situation feels almost the same as being kidnapped.

“Aha, I understand!”

Eventually, Karon nodded in agreement to my questionable explanation.

“…Anyway, the important part is that in fairy tales, princes are handsome, skilled in sword fighting, and noble—just awesome people.”

“Hm…”

Karon looked slightly uncomfortable as he gazed at the entrance where the Crown Prince had left.

“But I didn’t think the Crown Prince was all that impressive…”

“Right, in reality, the Crown Prince just has a nice face. At the core, he’s just our superior... don’t let that face fool you.”

Sure, the shiny blonde hair that looked like it was made from melted gold, his aristocratic features, and his fair skin certainly made him look like a prince from a fairy tale, but still, I didn’t like him.

‘He even rode a white horse earlier… Isn’t that kind of playing into the concept?’

At that moment, Aquila, sounding somewhat disgruntled, interjected into our conversation.

“His face was fine?”

“Yeah. It was fine, right?”

“You like that kind of face?”

“Well, objectively speaking, he was handsome.”

After saying that, I lowered my voice so the senior members wouldn’t hear me and added:

“Of course, just because he’s handsome doesn’t mean I like him. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like the Crown Prince.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t.”

“And besides, in our unit, Winter or anyone really, is better looking than him.”

“…Winter?”

“Yeah, Winter’s super handsome.”

I’ve always thought that Winter’s face looked like it was carved with great care by a sculptor. It really was the face that best matched the word “perfect.”

“…Ha, so Winter’s face is your type?”

“Hmm, well, I prefer black hair to blonde. And whenever I see someone as well-groomed as the Crown Prince, I get kind of annoyed…”

“…Salvia, maybe you should just keep quiet for a bit?”

Ishina, who had been standing next to us all this time, spoke in a soft voice, smiling with his mouth but not his eyes.

Wait. A kind face, a kind voice, a raised corner of his mouth. But his eyes weren’t smiling. This is definitely...!

‘That’s the signature expression of a hidden villain!’

This is a face that hidden antagonists often make in romance fantasy stories, and now that it’s been turned into an image, there’s no way I wouldn’t recognize it!

‘Is he planning something?’

I gave Ishina a suspicious look and asked.

“What’s going on?”

“Phew, it’s just that Aquila…”

“Salvia, I had something to say.”

Aquila suddenly grabbed my arm and said, so I had no choice but to pay attention to Ishina. Ishina sighed heavily, looking frustrated, and gestured for me to go.

“Fine, just go...”

“So, what was it you wanted to say?”

“Don’t worry, you wouldn’t understand it anyway. Just go…”

‘Does this mean he thinks I won’t be able to understand it with my normal way of thinking?’

But before I could ask about the meaning of his words, I was being dragged away by Aquila, unable to speak any further.

“I want to desert, I want to desert...!”

I heard Ishina shout from behind me as he was dragged away by Aquila.

‘Hmm, looks like he’s planning to desert.’

Well, after all the suffering from the Crown Prince, it made sense that Ishina would be plotting something like that.

Just like every other day, another hellish day in the Border Defense Army came to an end.