My Desertion Would Be Faster Than Heros’ Obsession

“What were you discussing?”

“Nothing much. Just talking about proper tactics,” Ishina replied nonchalantly.

…Even though I hadn’t heard the conversation clearly, I could tell that wasn’t what they’d been discussing.

“Did Aquila do something wrong?”

I asked again, my voice tinged with suspicion, but Ishina’s composed response didn’t waver.

“Hm? No, it’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“Yeah, it’s no big deal,” Aquila chimed in with an equally dismissive tone.

With both of them brushing me off, I sent a skeptical glance Ishina’s way but let the matter drop—for now. I’d get to the bottom of it when I was alone with Aquila later.

“So, Salvia, what brings you here?”

“Oh, nothing much. I just got sick of doing laundry and escaped,” I replied, shrugging.

“…You left the rest to the recruits, didn’t you?”

“It was only about ten minutes’ worth of work left.”

“Fair enough…” Ishina nodded knowingly, then glanced at Karon standing cheerfully behind me. Muttering to himself, he added, “You’re teaching him all the wrong things… Although, honestly, that kid seemed a little off to begin with… Sigh…”

‘Ishina’s been muttering to himself more often lately.’ It suited him, though—just the kind of quirk a proper novel character should have. Narrating their thoughts always made things easier for the audience.

Anyway, since their conversation seemed finished, I shifted to my usual banter with Aquila.

“Oh, right, Aquila. Who has the armory key this week?”

“Zara does,” Aquila replied, taking both of my chilled hands into one of his to warm them. The frostbite-inducing cold from the laundry began to fade, replaced by a comforting warmth.

…But along with it came the overpowering scent of toothpaste from my hands.

‘Now that I think about it, maybe the reason no one here ever smells like sweat isn’t some romance fantasy buff—it’s just that the toothpaste smell overpowers everything.’

Considering the scent had likely soaked into all our clothes, I might be onto something.

‘Male leads should smell like refreshing mint or woodsy scents reminiscent of the forest…’ I sighed, closing my eyes briefly. ‘Well, toothpaste is minty, I guess.’

As I mulled over this, the quintessential "cool mint" of the unit, Winter, came to mind.

“Winter, sir.”

I was jolted out of my thoughts by Ishina’s greeting. Turning around, I saw Winter approaching us. Aquila released my hands naturally, and we both nodded in acknowledgment.

“Hey, you lot.”

“What is it, sir?”

Winter’s abrupt appearance was followed by an equally unexpected question.

“Are you familiar with Chapter 15, Article 93 of the Military Code?”

We all stared at him, dumbfounded. Who memorized that kind of stuff?

Seeing our clueless expressions, Winter gestured toward Karon. “Karon, go fetch the military codebook from the unit dormitory.”

“Yes, sir!” Karon responded briskly before disappearing at a run.

The military codebook was a massive encyclopedia containing every regulation of the Border Defense Army, tucked away in the company’s library. But no one read it. In the military, you learned what not to do through experience, not by reading.

The soldiers here, myself included, were all action-first types. Even those who occasionally read books stuck to practical guides, like the monster manual shelved next to the codebook.

The only exception had been April, who once read the codebook with great interest. I’d thought she was insane. After her transfer to another unit, the codebook had been left untouched.

Soon, Karon returned, lugging a thick, green book.

“Here it is, sir!”

“Salvia, take it.”

I accepted the hefty tome from Karon, unsure of what Winter was planning.

“Turn to page 194.”

“Yes, sir.”

I flipped through the densely packed pages. The small, cramped text immediately made my eyes blur.

“Now, read Article 93 aloud.”

“Uh…”

Hesitant, I glanced up at Winter. Following his command wasn’t an option—not because I didn’t want to, but because…

“I can’t read.”

Winter’s eyes widened in shock, and even Ishina looked taken aback.

‘What’s the big deal? I’ve gotten by just fine without reading.’

Feeling like an idiot, I lowered my head. I’d survived over a year and a half here without ever needing to read.

‘This world doesn’t require brains.’

If I had to leave a review of the original NemiJip, I’d say:

• Is the heroine smart? No.
• Is the male lead smart? No.
• Are the villains smart? No.
• Intelligence isn’t required in this story.

The answer to everything in this world was “violence and fear.”

“Then how do you memorize monster information?” Winter asked, his usual composure returning.

“I memorize what my peers read aloud,” I admitted.

“…I see. Then I’ll read it for you.”

Without even looking at the book, Winter recited Chapter 15, Article 93 from memory:

“First, if a relationship develops between soldiers, they will be transferred to different units.
Second, if a superior and subordinate engage in a relationship, they will face up to one year in prison.
Third, those who engage in sexually inappropriate behavior within the military will face up to two years in prison.”

…What the hell?

‘So, dating in the Border Defense Army gets you transferred or thrown in jail?’

“Make sure you don’t give anyone the wrong idea. A misunderstanding could lead to trouble,” Winter added, gesturing toward the hands Aquila and I had been holding moments earlier.

“Yes, sir…”

I answered meekly, glancing at Aquila, who wore an equally dumbfounded expression.

‘Seriously? I transmigrated into a romance fantasy, and now there’s a chance I might end up in military prison?’

Being falsely accused of treason or framed for attempted murder as a villainess would be better than this. The fact that the word "prison" even existed here proved this world was far removed from any typical romance fantasy.

And the most absurd part?

‘Didn’t the original heroine, Dalin, get to freely engage in romantic antics?’

Dalin had hugged the male leads, linked arms, and even been carried princess-style!

Winter had only warned her about the dangers of guns in the original story, but now he was lecturing me about military conduct? The double standards were infuriating.

“Winter, sir, have you memorized the entire codebook…?” Ishina asked, pointing at the hundreds-of-pages-thick tome.

“Of course. To enforce the rules, you must first know them thoroughly.”

‘Is he even human, or is he some kind of android?’

I stared at him, aghast. The fact that he had Chapter 15, Article 93 committed to memory was disturbing.

“Make sure to read the book thoroughly. It’ll be useful someday.”

‘Did he not hear me say I can’t read?’

Then Winter added, “Salvia, I’ll teach you to read. You need to learn.”

“…Excuse me?”

Was I seriously about to spend extra time with a senior officer for this?

Wait. Some might see this as the beginning of a “romance development.”

But to me, this wasn’t romance—it was…

‘Just another layer of military nonsense.’

Another task piled onto my plate. Fantastic.

Crossing my arms and leaning against the wall, I scowled as Winter walked away. Once he was out of sight, Ishina finally spoke.

“Aquila, how many times do I have to tell you? Your actions are a problem. Even Winter said so just now.”

“…I understand, but can we discuss this later, when we’re alone?”

Aquila shot me a glance, but I was too drained to care about their cryptic conversation.

‘Why am I the only one here who can’t read?’

It was infuriating. Winter had elite Arkon parents who’d educated him from a young age—that made sense.

I looked at Aquila hopelessly. “Why can you read?”

“…Should I stop?”

“No, where did you learn?”

“My parents taught me when I was young.”

‘Of course.’ Now I felt like I was just picking fights.

“What about you, Ishina?”

“Both my parents are Arkons. They made sure I was well-educated.”

Ah, so Ishina was another elite, just like Winter.

“…Karon, what about you?”

Despite losing all his memories in a fire, Karon could still read. Go figure.

“Uh, I’ve known how to read since I was very young. My biological parents probably taught me.”

“Your biological parents?”

“Yes, they were both officers in the Border Defense Army, but they passed away.”

“…I see.”

‘Damn it. I’m the only one here who grew up completely alone, without an Arkon guardian.’

Suddenly overwhelmed with anger, I made a spontaneous decision.

‘When I’m discharged, I’m starting my own Arkon family.’

Whatever it takes, I’ll build a family of my own. And I’ll make sure to marry an Arkon. That’s a promise.

***

"Alright, now let's try reading again."

“…One, never turn your back to the enemy and engage in comba… no, combat…”

“You’re improving. With a little more practice, you’ll do quite well,” Winter said, his voice calm and encouraging.

“Yes…” I replied with a bored expression, barely concealing my disinterest. Studying was never going to be fun.

Fortunately, learning the written language of this world wasn’t particularly difficult. Since I was already fluent in speaking it, all I needed to do was memorize which sounds corresponded to each letter of their alphabet. From there, it wasn’t too hard to pick up.

Of course, there were still plenty of confusing aspects, and learning the grammatical rules of a language I had been using unconsciously all this time turned out to be a bit tricky.

‘At least the structure isn’t too different from English.’@@novelbin@@

The basic shapes of the letters resembled the English alphabet, making them easier to remember.

For me, it seemed natural to pick up writing within just a few days, but Winter clearly didn’t see it that way. From his perspective, I was entirely illiterate.

“At this pace, you’re doing well. You’ve got a natural sense for language,” he remarked, his tone suggesting genuine praise.

‘Great. A pat on the head from the human encyclopedia himself.’

While his encouragement didn’t do much for my boredom, it was hard to ignore the subtle sense of pride in his voice.