My Identity Is Becoming More and More Astonishing

In this world, things often don't go as one wishes, in eight or nine cases out of ten.

Squatting inside a hollow of a massive tree in the jungle, Chen Yu hugged his knees, looking regretfully at the large pile of dung outside the hole.

After being turned into pieces,

smashed,

cooked,

digested,

excreted...

and undergoing various other "refreshes,"

he still wasn't able to obtain the "gigantifying" ability of that civet cat.

"Sigh."

Heaving a deep sigh, Chen Yu fiddled with a stick in his hands, continuously poking at the pile of dung outside.

Although he had known that an ordinary "title change" was unlikely to "explode" with the desired skill in just two or three refreshes,

he still found it hard to accept.

Enlarge! It was about enlarging!

Which man wouldn't covet such a divine skill?

"..."

After a long silence, he threw the stick away and opened his backpack with a determined gaze, carefully placing all the dung inside an insulated pot that once contained "pig brains."

He sealed it well,

ensuring no leaks.

He refused to believe there was no way to further process it after it had become a corpse, turned into chunks, transformed into rotten flesh, and finally ended up as dung.

Weren't his previous titles things like "Expired Dung," "Trash," "Filthy Rubbish," "Worse than Rubbish," and so on?

Anyway, he was determined to replicate the "enlarging" ability of the civet's foreign lineage.

Because if he could pair it with the "Strength of the War Beast," his combat power would surely skyrocket!

The image of a Six-Armed War God towering over a thousand meters tall...

Just the thought alone made Chen Yu drool.

Wiping his mouth with the back of the hand that hadn't touched the stick, he treasured the "insulated pot" as he placed it back into his backpack and started organizing his next steps.

Firstly, digging up graves had offended the human elite, killing the cat had angered the foreign elite, and with his current abilities, he was no match for the potential retribution from either side.

Especially the unimaginable force of the latter meant an inevitable break with the entire myriad races of the world.

However, his family was still in the capital.

So, taking a risk, he chose to head back home.

"Troublesome."

Scratching his head, Chen Yu began to sort through his three gains for the day.

One was soul beads, 143 in total.

Another was Divine Artifacts, three pieces.

The last was an imperial edict.

Putting aside the soul beads and the imperial edict for now, Chen Yu directly took out three miniature, glowing objects from his bag and carefully examined them.

From what he knew, no matter how he looked at them, these three glowing objects were within the category of "Divine Artifacts."

However, due to his impoverished upbringing, Chen Yu was still unclear about how to use these things. Stay connected with My Virtual Library Empire

"Do I recite a spell?"

"Or infuse the source of my abilities?"

Muttering, he subconsciously activated the ability within his body, using the technique of "Ability Conduction" to channel energy into one of the glowing horns.

Immediately, dazzling brilliance erupted!

The originally palm-sized horn suddenly inflated.

And with a puff of black smoke, a creature wrapped in a scarf and wearing strange clothes emerged from the horn.

The gusts of forest wind made the creature's translucent body intermittently dissipate and then re-condense.

"Clang."

Chen Yu, startled, dropped the horn, staring in shock.

"Hello, my new master, is it you who has awakened me?" The ethereal creature twisted its body within the smoke, its face serene.

"What are you?!" Chen Yu stood up, alarmed.

"I am the genie of Aladdin's..."

"Aladdin's lamp!" Chen Yu's pupils dilated.

"Aladdin's horn." The ethereal creature corrected, "You can call me Horn God."

"Horn God..." Chen Yu looked bewildered.

"Yes, Horn God." The Horn God nodded with a smile, "By waking me, you have become my new master. I can..."

"Grant my wishes?!" Chen Yu interrupted, full of excitement.

The Horn God, "I can tell you stories."

Chen Yu, "..."

The Horn God, "Why do you have such an unrealistic notion as 'wishing'?"

"So, your only purpose is to tell stories?"

"Yes."

"Then what the hell use are you?!" Chen Yu roared.

"Don't be like that," the Horn God said sheepishly, "My stories aren't just any stories."

At these words, Chen Yu paused, then pondered, "Could your 'stories' have some kind of causal effect?"

"If you understand it that way, you are not wrong!" the Horn God declared proudly, puffing out its belly.

"Holy shit!" Chen Yu exclaimed, "That awesome?!"

"Yes!" The Horn God beamed with pride, "Because all of my stories are humorous, and once I tell one, you will laugh, master. They indeed have a causal effect."

Chen Yu, "..."

Chen Yu, "You're just farting around with me."

"Director, it seems you still don't understand. Let me tell you one right now," the Horn God crossed its arms behind its back, its ghostly shape swaying faintly. After a moment, it began clearly, "Once upon a time, there was a man named Confucius. One day, he saw two children shitting in the sun."

Chen Yu, "..."@@novelbin@@

The Horn God, "..."

Chen Yu, "..."

The Horn God hesitated, "Master, why aren't you laughing?"

Chen Yu, "Laugh your ass off."

"Ah... Well, maybe you didn't understand," the Horn God said nervously, explaining, "In ancient times, there was an allusion to Confucius seeing two children debating under the sun. The 'debating' in my story isn't about arguing, but about defecating."

Chen Yu, "And then?"

The Horn God, "...Isn't it funny?"

Standing in place, silent for a long while.

Chen Yu looked around for a convenient weapon, "Do you know how to destroy a Divine Artifact?"

"No! Master... Master, please, calm down!" The Horn God broke into a cold sweat.