On Hiatus: God's Personal Reasons

Chapter 168: #Gwaaah! Eat Me, God!

Swoosh! Bam! Swoosh! Bam!

-Crushing Forefinger of God!

God Yu Il-Shin destroyed the asteroids hurtling toward Il-Ho and the battleship. Still, things were far from over. They were in an asteroid field known as the Graveyard of Stars, infamous for thousands of years of crippling Great Cosmic Alliance battleships. Now, it was finally showing its true colors.

Ten, twenty, one hundred...

Asteroids, ranging from a meter to hundreds of meters in diameter, rained down at once.

Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh!

Nevertheless, God Yu Il-Shin neither feared for his life nor panicked.

-Yeah, this will be fun.

Instead, a faint smile played at the corners of his lips.

-Convicting Middle Finger of God!

A huge black flame that could melt steel lit up from his middle finger.

-Proliferating Thumb of God!

Crackle!

The mighty black flames multiplied into hundreds, then thousands. They engulfed the space as they soared toward the incoming asteroids.

God Yu Il-Shin readied his fingers.

Bang! Bang bang! Bang bang bang!

Like a skilled maestro, each snap of his fingers brought asteroids crashing down one by one.

Bang bang bang!

Countless asteroids filled the vast universe and flew toward him, filling the vast universe, in an effort to take him down.

Thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands... millions... and more!

Swoosh!

The overwhelming catastrophe descended upon God Yu Il-Shin and the battleship, leaving no chance of escape! In Beat Game, this would be the highest difficulty level, beyond the EX level—the GOD level!

-Impressive.

God Yu Il-Shin marveled at the asteroids scattered across the universe.

-But I’ll manage. I’m just that good.

God Yu Il-Shin reached out toward the incoming catastrophe. The hopeless sight could drain a player’s soul, reminiscent of the infamous Transcendental Études by Liszt.

-Take this! Beat-Game-trained eyes and fingers!

Bam! Bam bam! Baaaam! ♬

Thunk thunk! Thunk thunk! Thuuuunk! ♬

That day, beats from the mythical dirge echoed through the universe, announcing the end of the Graveyard of Stars.

***

[Congratulations! The Forty-Fourth Floor of the Tower of Warriors: Trial of Space and Time has been cleared.]

[The challenger has been rewarded with the Blessing of Survival.]

[Blessing of Survival: Grants the challenger the ability to survive in any adverse environment.]

Upon hearing the messages, Il-Ho opened his eyes only to discover that he was still in outer space.

“No way...”

He was in awe. Even though there was no air, he had no trouble breathing. However, that wasn’t what caught his attention.

Is this really the Graveyard of Stars?!

Il-Ho marveled at the cosmic landscape. Not a trace of the asteroid field that had plagued the universe for a millennium remained. What once seemed like a turbulent ocean was now as tranquil as a still lake.

-Perfect clear! Seems like my godly fingers haven’t gotten rusty!

Then, Il-Ho spotted God Yu Il-Shin cheering and punching the air.

As expected of Almighty God Yu Il-Shin—the god I serve.

“Lord Yu Il-Shin...”

-Oh, Il-Ho. You’re awake now, huh?

Il-Ho burst into tears and threw himself before his god’s feet.

“Lord Yu Il-Shin, please punish this sinful servant for standing in your way!”

God Yu Il-Shin glanced at Il-Ho. He then gave him a solemn reply.

-Il-Ho, how is love a sin? A married man—no, a prophet once told me that marriage was the grave of life, though. So don’t fucking do it!

Il-Ho wondered if he had heard him incorrectly. After all, God Yu Il Shin sounded bitter.

-But what’s done is done. I’m envio—no, I’m happy for you, Il-Ho!

Swoosh!

God Yu Il-Shin vanished, leaving behind such enigmatic words. Il-Ho was confused. However, since it was his god that had spoken, he believed that there was a deeper meaning to it. Hence, he engraved those words into his mind.

“Oh, right! Princess Esméralda!” Il-Ho rushed into the wrecked battleship. “Please be safe!”

Princess Esméralda was gravely wounded; she needed medical attention as soon as possible! The asteroid impact had cut the power of the battleship’s equipment had lost power and made them malfunction.

Creaaaak!

With his bare hands, Il-Ho tore open the metal door to where he assumed Princess Esméralda would be. “Your Highness! Please be safe! Il-Ho is...!”

The sight before him rendered him speechless.

Instead of a hideous tentacle monster, he saw the back of an unfamiliar, naked woman with long, flowing blonde hair; skin as white as pearl; and graceful curves. What masterpiece could ever compare to her? Despite the absence of a light source, her hair shone as brightly as the stars.

“I’ve been freed from the God of Destroyer’s curse!” She sobbed, her slender shoulders shaking. She turned around, and when her silver eyes met his, Il-Ho finally realized who she was.

“What do you think of my new look, Il-Ho? A-am I still ugly?” she asked anxiously.

Il-Ho smiled. “Your Highness Esméralda, you’ve always been beautiful. But now...”

He gave her a thumbs-up, imitating his god, Yu Il-Shin.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the universe.”

...

...

...

Ding!

[You have fulfilled the earnest wish of Esméralda, who belonged to a lesser god race, and successfully showed her the feat of god.]

[As per the contract, you have seized her divine power in exchange for the wish.]

[Esméralda, member of a lesser god race and first successor to the Great Cosmic Alliance, has become a follower of Yu Il-Shin.]

[Esméralda is a high-ranking follower equivalent to 10 S-rank Hunters.]

[Yu Il-Shinism and its god’s mythical feats have spread throughout the Great Cosmic Alliance.]

***

I sat on the toilet seat in the hospital restroom, basking in the victory from my Beat Game fight.

Wow, I saved the universe again today.

Of course, with my well-trained fingers, it was a piece of cake!

Gosh, Il-Ho is getting married, huh? With such a beautiful woman, at that!

What on earth was that transformation of hers?! It was even more unbelievable than Xu Zhu's!

Chills traveled down my spine. What was the secret to Il-Ho’s popularity? It had to be the muscles!

Alright, I’ll have to start hitting the gym from now on.

Still, before I could be reborn as a popular hunk, I had one more matter to resolve first: this creepy, disgusting, foul-smelling thing wriggling at my feet.

It’s not shit, okay.

-Eat... Me...

The monster sounded as if it was dying. I remember feeling unimaginable shock when I first saw this octopus-like creature.

Ding!

[As per the contract, you have seized her divine power in exchange for the wish.]

-Gwaaaah!

The monster sprang out of my phone. It then wrapped its tentacles around my face and clung onto me like a scene out of an alien movie!

-God! Eat me!

It pried my mouth open and tried to force itself into me.

The taste of a sewer rat filled my mouth.

“Blegh! Get away from me!”

I knew that some people in South Korea enjoyed eating live octopus, but I wasn't one of them. Also, I’d never be interested in eating such a horrible monster!

Reminded of a sleepover I had a decade ago, I became nauseous. Quickly using Il-Ho’s skill, I barely managed to get the monster off my face and slam it onto the floor.

“Die! Die!”

It tried to dive into my mouth once again, but I trampled it.

Shuik! Shuik!

Ugh, even the sounds it makes are disgusting...

-Ugh, eat...me...

Even though it was already dying, the monster wouldn’t stop begging. It even wrapped its tentacles around my feet.

I got goosebumps all over. This monster was so persistent!

“C-Crushing Forefinger of God!”

After being flattened like a piece of jerky, the octopus monster finally stopped moving.

“Haaa! Haaa! It’s dead! Finally!”

It was the first monster I killed after becoming an S-rank Hunter...

Reality was about to wash over me when someone knocked on the door to my cubicle.

Knock knock!

“Mr. Yu, are you okay?”

Wait, wasn’t this supposed to be the men’s toilet?! Why did I hear a girl’s voice just now?! Aside from the cleaning lady, women shouldn’t be in here!

Moreover, I recognized the voice. It was Xu Zhu’s, my student.

Did she hear my struggle with the octopus monster? Maybe she was just worried because it was taking me so long to return. Still, a high school girl shouldn’t be in the gents!

“I-I’m fine! I’m just constipated! I’ll be out in a bit, so wait outside!”

“Okay! Good luck finishing up!” Xu Zhu cheerfully replied.

Meanwhile, I stared at the octopus carcass at my feet. According to my theory, humans should be in a beautiful place. The next person to come into this stall would be shocked to see this monster. Hence, I flushed it down the toilet.

Goodbye, Octopus Monster. It’s unfortunate that I couldn’t accept your kind intentions, but may we meet again in your next life. I pray that you’ll be a delicious octopus stew.

Thankfully, it didn’t clog the toilet. I cleaned up the mess and headed out.

“Mr. Yu! Do you feel refreshed now?!” Xu Zhu greeted me. She’d been waiting outside this whole time.

You’re embarrassing me, Xu Zhu.

But wow, I still couldn’t get used to her new look. It wasn’t as extreme as Esmeralda’s transformation and was still within the realm of reason. Still, it felt strange to see the once dependable girl become so cute.

“Xu Zhu, what exactly happened to you? I didn’t even recognize you!”

Clenching her hands, Xu Zhu shouted, “I went on a diet famous in my hometown! How do I look, Mr. Yu? I’ve gotten a lot prettier, don’t you think?”

She spun in front of me, showing off her new look.

“Y-yeah. You’ve changed.”

Now, Xu Zhu. Tell me more about that diet of yours. I’m going to strike it rich!

-----

[Xu Zhu]

A female human. Around for 19 years.

Special note: Blessed by Infinite Abundance.

-----

Of course, I knew her special note played a bigger role in her transformation than her diet. It made me wonder, though: was this a side effect of the Secret Resurrection Medicine?

Abundance noonim, are you watching this now? Is it possible that her transformation was a side effect of the elixir?

However, no matter how long I waited, there was no response.

Abundance noonim? Can you not hear me?