Chapter 246: B3: C36: Let Me Cook 1
Five weeks after that calamitous night of destruction, Princess Foodie Darkrun was listening to the crinkling of autumn leaves on the small game trail she walked along. She liked the feel of them under her feet. It was vastly different compared to the feel of mountain, stone, and rugged caverns.
It was for this reason she preferred going barefoot even though she could afford the nicest shoes now. Nobody would judge her for it, at least not with the company she kept for the past two months.
Looking up, she saw the fiery sunset in the gaps of the stone forest canopy. The western half of the sky looked like the dying embers of a furnace. The other half of the sky was a twinkling canvas that was darker than usual, much darker than it should be for Mid Autumn.
Looking eastward, Foodie’s ears rose, her bottom lip quivering. She still couldn’t stop from marveling at the sight of the oncoming night.
Cavern Hellion had lost half of its orange moon body while the other half was crushed into the side of the blue moon, Sea Strider. Orange and blue moon rocks the size of kingdoms or larger trailed behind the two conjoined moons.
She wasn’t the only one amazed or horrified by the sight. She was far from the most affected by the worldwide calamity, the one known as the Dark Quarrel of Mountains and Moons.
Foodie frowned. She disliked that name a lot.
It was hard not to take offense when her followers joked about the ‘quarrel’ between the Dark Lord and the Sky Bringer. They’d done so while thinking Foodie wouldn’t overhear them, but she had the highest Wonder stat among her army, boosting her perception more than any other stat.
Even when Foodie tried not to overhear things, Mother would make her aware anyway.
Breaking her line of thoughts, Foodie noticed some tiny movement on the darkening trail.She tightened her grip on her legendary giant cleaver as a spectral spider scurried out from between rows of yellow and red hedges while dodging around crimson grass stalks that were still prevalent on the border between the Blood Prairies and Ride-or-Die Village.
The little guy raised its hat and performed an interpretative dance. Other spectral spiders scuttled into appearance and gave their reports with their dances before bobbing down, kowtowing in front of the princess.
One spider held up a little blue pebble that shone with an icy aura. The tiny moon piece from Sea Strider had a potent elemental effect that coated the spectral spider in flakes of frost. The token gift wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last.
Foodie smiled. She summoned a mug of fruit juice from her pocket kitchen and lowered it down.
The spectral spider added the frigid moon pebble to her drink. Then the spiders danced as Foodie enjoyed another moon slushy along with the benefits of consuming something so unique. Her stats grew.
Even as a Level 70 Indomitable Cook, she was much, much stronger than before leaving Grimrock, which was saying something since she was already mythical.
To think, she had only consumed a fraction of the moon rocks that had fallen from the sky. It was thanks to her abilities that she could make pieces of the moon digestible. Or she would’ve died.
She knew from her journals there were other creatures who could do something similar.
She knew her mother’s toys, the corrupted, certainly could eat the moon rocks and grow stronger. Last week, she fought one that had ingested a large piece from Cavern Hellion, and that had turned out as an immensely interesting fight. ŔâℕÒ𝐛ÈⱾ
The orange moon rocks from Cavern Hellion could give new stats to Willpower or Strength. The blue moon rocks from Sea Strider could give new stats to Strength or Mysticism. They could also lead to unique mutations among monster populations by just being near the energy-intense moon rocks.
Foodie liked to eat anything related to the moons. Having consumed both types, Foodie’s Strength had grown the most. She was also taller and heavier.
She was now halfway between four feet and five feet, which she figured came about from her extraterrestrial diet. Too bad most of the moon rocks out there would’ve been collected, hoarded, or eaten by now.
Shaking her head, Foodie glanced back down at the growing number of spiders appearing to give their report and worship. Because of the distance with their true master, getting direct network impressions from the spectral spiders was slow.
Thankfully, Foodie still had an easier time understanding them because of her personal mind spider.
The spiders had seen the real enemy a dozen miles southwest of them. Ride-or-Die Village would be a little further down past the enemy’s entrenched position.
There would be heavy fighting ahead. More than anything Foodie and her army had seen before.
Thus, the spiders were quick to reunite with her. They also liked to dance for her amusement before things turned serious.
Foodie nodded, appreciative of their reports and their constant show of adoration. She tried not to show her enjoyment on her face, but she liked the status of being a princess.
She enjoyed being free. She enjoyed being the adoptive daughter of the Dark Lord and Shadowfell Goddess, despite all the trouble. She enjoyed adventuring, especially when she got to cook new enemies into tasty meals. And she liked to prove her mettle and the prowess of her unusual army.
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“Time to cook for freedom,” Foodie said, hefting her cleaver onto her shoulder. A mysterious bird cried out with pride somewhere in the stone forest behind her.
***
Foodie thrust her cleaver through the worn leather straps in the back of the kobold’s armor. She felt the tip of her weapon crack apart the ribcage before piercing the heart.
Since the kobold was Level 75, she knew her foe had enough vitality to survive the surprise backstab. The kobold, however, could not do much while surprised and critically injured.
Foodie had plenty of time to yank her cleaver back, step closer, and chop at the back of the kobold’s head.
The kobold’s helmet was only uncommon in quality. It might as well be paper against Foodie’s legendary cleaver, high stats, powerful abilities, and mythical nature as the Indomitable Cook.
She split the kobold in half with an easy-going power stroke. An explosion of gore heralded her arrival at the edges of a kobold camp made for auxiliaries or those resting after their time in the siege’s front.
Torch lights snuffed away, the spectral spiders dousing them with webbing and magic. The darkness of the night swallowed them all up.
Both kobolds and goblins had an acceptable dark vision, but it was Foodie who was more at home in the darkness. It was Foodie who had spectral spiders already sabotaging and terrorizing the enemy as the kobolds acted erratically.
It didn’t take Foodie long to realize she could take care of this camp herself. She went about doing so with a heartfelt prayer.
“In your honor, Dark Father, Shadow Mother, I slay, I cook, I feast, I grow.”
Purple spider webbing spun into complex arrays humming to life, the gravity traps catching dozens of kobolds, bringing them down to their knees. More spider traps lit up the darkened camp, the most prevalent being the green destruction traps, which disintegrated the flesh and armor off of screaming kobolds.
They could scream all they wanted, and they wouldn’t receive reinforcements. Foodie’s spiders had wrapped the entire camp in a sound trapping bubble.
No other camp within listening distance would hear them. The flashes of spell magic wouldn’t go far, either, with how the spectral spiders also draped the area in thick curtains of darkness.
The hardest part was catching runners.
Foodie was stomping a fallen kobold on the chest, making the creature pop in his armor, her ears shifting and turning. She caught the sound of a kobold fleeing at the camp’s edge. Spider webbing stretched like tripwire caught the kobold’s ankle and slowed him down for Foodie.
With a flick of her hand, Foodie pulled from her pocket kitchen a rare-quality knife. She slung it with cannon-like force, blowing a hole through the runner. It also caught two more kobolds who were stuck in a spider gravity trap.
Foodie grabbed more kitchen knives from her personal pocket kitchen and launched them hard. She slaughtered the strongest kobolds with little effort, one of them being Level 90, the leader of the camp. She then turned her focus to a messy squad of defenders who gathered at the center.
“We serve the wolf dragons! We serve The Dragon! Our power is the strongest!” A kobold declared at the front of the rabble.
“I wonder what you all will taste like.” Foodie drooled a little.
She’d never eaten kobold before. She was excited to have quite the meal tonight with her army.
“For the dragons!” The last capable camp defenders attacked.
A kobold with magical speed rushed around and stabbed at Foodie’s side.
She took the stabs, suffered some nicks, and grabbed the speedy kobold by the wrist. Her grip turned the kobold’s wrist into bone powder and fleshy pulp.
She yanked the crying kobold close and smashed his head to pieces with a headbutt, then she raised her cleaver to deflect a mighty hammer strike from a muscular kobold. Other kobolds attacked with elemental bolts, some dragon-based wizardry, and enchanted arrows.
None of it could stop Foodie from having her rampage.
A big gobbo smile appeared on her face. Her stoic nature shifted, becoming more like other goblins. She giggled and laughed, waving her cleaver, chopping kobolds left and right.
All they could do was damage her a little, maybe even slow her down with walls of rock or ice. She plowed through it all anyway.
More kobolds tried to run.
Foodie took out more kitchen knives. She stopped when something with too many arms, joints, and mismatched heads reached through the barrier of silence and darkness.
The kobolds ran into the grasping aberration as the creature wormed its way into camp. Specks of orange and blue moon rocks glowed while embedded into its chimeric centipede body.
The kobolds screamed in horror.
The princess screamed in delight.
“Thank you, Mother! I will cherish this gift as I eat it!”
Foodie’s heart raced as she made preparations for an intense fight. She let the aberration move and eat like a great serpentine creature with many arms and mouths, tearing apart the screaming kobolds while also merging with some.
Soon, it had two dozen kobolds added to its dark, twisted, elongated body, the kobold limbs and faces twitching and swaying with some remaining will. It was as if they still lived or had their souls kept by the aberration of Shadowfell, which forced the kobolds to take part in the amusement of an Evil Goddess, one who could be friend or foe to The Dragoness.
It’s still hard to believe the old dragon is gone, killed, eaten, and replaced by a much younger and stronger dragoness.
It didn’t matter now. The camp was empty of living kobolds. None had escaped the children of Shadowfell.
Foodie faced the strongest aberration she’d seen at the center of the camp. She wiped drool from her mouth with the back of her hand. She tried not to focus on the blue and orange moon rocks glowing in the flesh of her corrupted kin.
The creature spoke with many mouths. “You … are … unworthy.”
The creature reared back and stood to its tall, hulking height over Foodie. It had more to say with its many side mouths along with the big main mouth that peeled open at the head like a flower petal.
“You are not … a true child … of Shadowfell.”
Foodie blinked, her ears going up and down. She dropped her happy gobbo mood and became serious, deadly.
She scraped her claws along the spine of her cleaver, creating sparks that drizzled down and caught the grease she spread over the edge just prior.
Yellow flames covered her cleaver, the heat warping the cool night air, sending out vapor ripples. Then Foodie held up her cleaver like a yellow flaming flag as she looked up with defiance at the twisted creature.
“You are mere toys to Mother. Nothing but things for her to spend as she pleases. I am a true daughter of tragedy. I’ve surpassed the suffering there is in Mother’s shadow. I remain unbroken, untwisted. I am wholly myself, much greater than you. You are the false child.”
“I am not false! You … are … false!”
“I see. You won’t listen. Fine then. Let me cook.”@@novelbin@@
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