Second Try Idol

Chapter 441: What Should We Do From Now On (5)

At one point, I felt as though I had gotten rid of a tension in my body I hadn’t even realized was there. Perhaps this was because of the mental strain I had been under recently? My emotions seemed to detach themselves, leaving anxiety and fear behind before a numbness started settling in.

“That is exactly why I’m asking you what and how much you know.” Goh Yoo-Joon’s words hung in the air, and I couldn’t help but let out a wry smile of resignation.

‘He definitely is aware of what’s going on.’ Every one of Goh Yoo-Joon’s thoughts and guesses were spot-on. There wasn’t a flaw to pick at. This time, the situation was so starkly serious that it wasn’t something I could just muddle through with vague explanations like I had done so far.

No, the mere thought of trying to find an escape exhausted me. The thought of having to explain myself repeatedly was also unbearable...

‘Maybe I should just spill the beans?’

The courage to speak up surged at the peak of my frustration and helplessness. Before I knew it, words just spilled out without being filtered. It was stupid of me, but I couldn’t help it. “I came from the future.”

“...What?”

After the words escaped my lips, I felt nothing. Catching Goh Yoo-Joon’s dumbfounded look made me question my impulse, but what was done was done.

“I said, I came from the future. If it’s hard to believe, just think of it as a dream.”

Once I started, the words cascaded out unrestrained as if they had been waiting to be released. I boldly laid out everything to Goh Yoo-Joon about how I didn't debut with them due to an accident, worked as a trainer, died in a plane crash, and woke up in the past.

‘Yeah, keep listening if you can bear it!’

I didn’t care if Goh Yoo-Joon believed me or not. If he didn't, I figured he might as well pretend it never happened.

I revealed secrets that had been burdening me, but strangely, I didn't feel worried. Instead, I felt a sense of relief as I was offloading my secrets onto someone else. Given the bizarre nature of my life, it would be a miracle if I wouldn’t be deemed insane. Maybe the overload of recent stress had dulled my usual caution.

At that moment, I couldn’t care less about the consequences.

‘I’m sorry, Goh Yoo-Joon.’

His words were meant to be a thoughtful remark, but he might feel like he had become an unintentional outlet for my frustrations.

“...This is the truth."

How would Goh Yoo-Joon react after hearing everything? I had lowered my eyes to avoid eye contact, but I finally raised them to meet his gaze.

“..."

Goh Yoo-Joon’s mouth was agape, his face a picture of utter bewilderment. I had anticipated as much. Ignoring his reaction, I stared at him. Given my intense scrutiny, he felt compelled to respond somehow to this revelation.

“So..." Goh Yoo-Joon stuttered after a long pause as he struggled to find words. “My memories were weird because..."

I nodded, acknowledging his statement. It seemed he had grasped the gist of the story, regardless of whether he accepted it or not.

Goh Yoo-Joon frowned. He didn’t look ready to outright reject my claim, but it was clear he needed some time alone to sort through his thoughts. “You wouldn’t joke about this, would you?"

Perhaps it was best to leave him alone for now. I gestured subtly that I was going to slip back to my room. “It’s not a joke, but if that’s what you want to think, fine. Let's agree never to bring up this topic again."

“..."

Typically, he would have insisted on discussing such a statement further, but Goh Yoo-Joon was now deeply troubled. He didn’t even try to stop me, and remained lost in his thoughts.

'I should have thought this through.'

Why had I chosen to reveal everything now after keeping it hidden for so long, and in such an incomprehensible manner?

While heading back to my room, I did feel some regret. But honestly, and selfishly speaking, relief was the predominant emotion at the moment.

“...Phew. Well, it’s done now."

But I was concerned that if I saw Goh Yoo-Joon again, the relief might turn into even deeper regret.

***

After a long time, I found myself immersed in a computer game again. I hadn’t played at all for a while as I had filmed game-related broadcasts to the point of saturation and because my schedule hadn’t allowed me any time to glue myself in front of a computer.

It wasn’t the MMORPG I used to play alone, but rather the balloon game I often played with Goh Yoo-Joon just to pass the time mindlessly.

I didn’t know how many hours I spent playing. Since I was deeply engrossed in the game, the room had darkened without me noticing. The moment I turned on the light, Joo-Han rushed in and smacked my back hard while berating me.

“You gotta eat something, kid!”

“Ow! Umm, eat?”

“How many times do I have to call out to you?”

It seemed I hadn’t heard Joo-Han calling my name because I was so absorbed in the game. I rubbed my stinging back and followed him to the kitchen. Tae-Seong and all the members were sitting at the dining table. When I glanced at Goh Yoo-Joon, he still seemed deep in thought as his eyes were downcast and serious.

‘It’d be easier if he just thought it was all a joke.’

And yet, he was diligently trying to sort through the information and accept it. I appreciated the effort, but part of me began to regret telling him the truth.

“What’s the occasion today? Hyun-Woo's here and Yoo-Joon is quiet.”

Joo-Han sighed deeply. “You guys fought, right?”

“What happened?” Jin-Sung asked with wide eyes.

“Earlier, Yoo-Joon called out to Hyun-Woo with such a scary expression when I was talking to Hyun-Woo!” Joo-Han said.

Jin-Sung treated us like a pitiful duo. “Huh? Did you guys fight again? What happened this time?”

Joo-Han spoke in our stead. “Yoo-Joon was like, ‘What do you mean you know nothing?’ and gestured at Hyun-Woo to come and talk to him.” He mimicked Goh Yoo-Joon’s earlier gesture, and shook his head as if this fight was hopeless and started eating.

“Huh?”

It seemed they assumed we had fought. We hadn’t fought at all... but seeing Goh Yoo-Joon’s expression, it seemed better to let them think we had. I didn’t deny the comments from Joo-Han and Jin-Sung. Instead, I just sat down.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Yoon-Chan asked worriedly from the seat next to me.

I nodded with a smile. “It’s okay. It's nothing important, so we will make up soon.”

Yoon-Chan looked skeptical but continued eating after nodding. It felt good to have someone who at least somewhat understood me. If Goh Yoo-Joon's state persisted like that, I might consider confiding in Yoon-Chan.

‘I wonder if Jin-Sung is alright?’

Three Chronos members had lent their bodies to the members of Elated for a while. I had noticed that both Joo-Han and Goh Yoo-Joon had fuzzy memories. But why was there no sign from Jin-Sung?

Given the atrocities that the creator god had committed up to now, it wasn’t likely that Jin-Sung had been miraculously spared from memory manipulation. Seeing him play and joke around as usual, he didn’t seem any different.

‘Not that I plan to ask.’

“Suh Hyun-Woo.” As we were finishing the meal, Goh Yoo-Joon called me. I had been worried about his silence throughout the dinner and looked at him, somewhat relieved. “Let's talk for a moment.”

“Ah, okay.”

As soon as we entered his room, Goh Yoo-Joon said, “Honestly, I don’t understand your situation.”

“Oh? Um...”

That was understandable. How could anyone believe a bandmate and friend who suddenly claimed, ‘I came from the future?’

“I can’t grasp the idea that you are from the future and returned to the past, nor do I understand the circumstances around you not debuting with us and how you died in an accident.”

“Ah, that...”

I chose to remain silent. It was better not to provide specific details about why I didn’t debut.

That would eliminate one reason for sending back Elated Goh Yoo-Joon. I didn’t want the members to dwell on that incident.

“There were reasons I couldn’t debut. I came here to prevent such things from happening.”

Goh Yoo-Joon didn’t argue with my explanation and simply nodded. Then he said, “I’ve been thinking half the day and still can’t fully accept it. But I don’t want to dismiss this as a joke.” He pulled a chair up to my desk. “It doesn’t seem right to dismiss it just like that. I’ve seen and thought too much while watching you.”

He had witnessed all my quirks directly. He had seen my sudden fear of lights, extreme nervousness on stage, difficulty being among people, and my intense fear of heights. More members from Chronos than Elated had directly witnessed my traumas.

Therefore, they couldn’t easily take my words as a joke or falsehood. They valued me even more than the Elated members.

A wave of relief calmed my anxious heart. Goh Yoo-Joon’s words gradually soothed me. The tension that had gripped my body slowly relaxed.

“So assuming I understand everything, let’s talk honestly from the beginning. I was too shocked earlier to actually listen to you.”

“...Thank you.”

Now I felt I could truly speak my mind comfortably.