Skyrim: A Sorcerer's Tale

Chapter 467 - LXXXV: A Rowdy Evening

The house lauds Zethios.1o for their most enlightened decision to ascend into the ranks of the upper management.

Unfortunately this announcement will not be followed by extra soup rations as we find ourselves short on ingredients.

-----

'Ah, bliss' I sigh contentedly as we walk away from the docks on the Waterfront District of the Imperial City, the many sailors crowding the evening shift moving around us unconsciously.

Minthara, already having experienced this once, contented herself with simply enjoying the walk, at least for a time "So, what now?" She finally asked.

Munching down on my fifth stick of roast horker I shrugged "We could do pretty much anything. Ideas?"

"Hmmm" She frowned in thought "Don't you have to meet your subordinates soon?"

"Fuck 'em" I wave my hand dismissively "I've been dealing with them for months now, and I deserve a bit of time off."

"They did not look too happy with each other back when we arrived..."

"And?" I ask bluntly "I trust them not to murder each other if I look away for a second, besides Akulakhan is with them, they know not to fuck around."

She gives me a doubt filled look but accepts it easily enough "As long as you are certain."

"Say" I speak up after a few quiet moments "We haven't been to a proper tavern in a while."

She blanches "These Cyrodiilic places have no idea how to have a good time anyway."

I give her a flat look "You only visited the expensive places, didn't you?"

She looks away "Nooo..." And trails off rather unconvincingly.

Holding back a snicker I redirect the two of us to the side "No time like the present then!"

---

It took us a few minutes but we finally managed to find a proper sailor's watering hole, where a bunch of them were already gathering after a long day of hard work, and where in a normal tavern one might find things loud this place was a veritable wall of noise, slamming into us as we entered but also serving as a perfect cover to any kind of attention.

In addition to the illusion making us look like a completely ordinary pair of Dunmer and Nord, of course.

Just as I began searching for a place we could sit down, I saw a mug sailing through the place right into the back of the head of an unfortunate sailor trying to enjoy his drink, the thing hit him with a loud thwack and the man immediately stood up and rounded on his assailant.

Leaving the table perfectly empty.

"Well, this place is certainly..." Minthara trails off as we take a seat.

Smirking teasingly I ask "Like home?"

She offers a small grin, looking relaxed already "Exactly."

Our talk is interrupted as what the uncouth might call a tavern wench walks over to us "Never seen you two here before" She 'accuses' with her arms on her hips "Not here to bring trouble, are you?"

"Do I look like I have money for trouble?" I ask 'gruffly'.

She rolls her eyes at my familiar behavior "What will it be then?"

"Nordic if you have it" Minthara interjects lazily "Or some local swill if you don't."

"I will show you swill" The woman scoffs without heat "You have coin for that?"

It is now my turn to roll my eyes as I tap an illusory coin pouch on my belt.

"No need to get prickly with me" She tuts and walks away.

"I am not sure how to feel about missing that kind of thing" Minthara shakes her head in amusement "Too bad we can't get drunk off of it."

My emotions must have shown on my face because she immediately perked up "You found something, didn't you?"

"Nerevar used to have the same problem" I say after making sure no one could hear us "He practically threw this thing at me when I complained." And lo and behold on the table now stood a small bottle of orange liquid that only we could see "One drop per drink."

She looked down at it for a moment before slowly meeting my eyes, our expressions perfectly mirroring.

We did not stop at one drop.

-

"And I keeps tellin them" Minthara swirled her mug "They shldk... shouh... shouldhk-"

I raise a swaying finger "Shouldhn't"

"That!" She slaps the table "Anyway, they shouldhn't keep peshtering me all the thime but they jhust won't stahp!"

"Have you tried whack?" I ask with utter seriousness.

"Whack?" She stills as if she had just received a revelation.

"Whack." I nod.

Her eyes clear up for a moment "You may have a point the-"

We both pause as we feel the effects wear off and I sigh "Another?"

She begins rapidly nodding.

-

"Oi, elf!" A Nord man shouts to my side "That's me table!"

"Find yer own!" I fire back without looking.

A hand lands on my shoulder "You lookin down on me knife ear?!" He shouts into my ear.

And before any onlooker can react, Minthara and I grab him by an arm each and toss him over the table, straight into the crowd across us.

They all pause, slowly turning to face us.

"What?" I growl drunkenly.

A tense moment passes before the man we had thrown gets up and mutters "Damn, which fuckin' horse hit me?!"

The crowd breaks into cheers and before long we are dragged into them.

-

"Come on then elf!" The man we had thrown earlier slapped my shoulder "Show us yer throwin' arm!"

Grinning like a loon I pick up the obviously blunt dagger, throwing it into the target without a care in the world and making it strike with a dull thud.

"Good gods..." He mutters.

"Did I kill it?" I ask as I pick up another knife.

Minthara's hand slowly lowers my own "You murdered it, I think."

And there it was, my dagger, dead center in the target, buried completely handle first.

"Stronger than you look, eh?" A wench nearby flutters her eyelashes at me.

"Oi!" The currently auburn-haired Dragonborn rounds on her "Find your own man!"

The woman titters and walks away while swaying her hips.

I feel two hands grab me by the shoulders and soon I am facing the man again "Teach me your ways!" He begs with tears in his eyes.

-

"Right, so like this?" The man grins at me as I see a dozen symbols circling his hand, no doubt a product of my drunkedness.

"Yeah, yeah, sure" I wave him off to placate him, because I did not just see a complete novice master strengthening oakflesh in ten minutes "Now go and challenge them all my apprentice!"

Even when drunk I failed to keep the Palpatine from my voice.

He bows his head with the utmost respect "I will not fail you dark one!" And eagerly and rushes off.

"Dark one?" I mutter and turn to Minthara who was on her fifth cycle of being drunk "The fuck did I tell him?"

"Whazzat?" She blinks and downs another mug of mead "Something, something, take over the world... I don' remember."

Tilting my head for a moment I shrug "I am sure it is nothing."

Minutes later the tavern was filled with the chant of "Ulf! Ulf! Ulf!"

Probably unrelated.

-

The bard I probably? tossed a few septims at was playing his lute like a madman as the whole tavern was on its feet, the lot of us dancing like the bunch of twice-left-legged drunks we were and making a mess of everything and anyone.

Though I am not quite sure why everyone is singing about Ulf and how no one does anything quite like he does.

And why does that song remind me of a cartoon of all things?

Probably not important.

-

"Welcome gentleman, and lady, welcome!" The totally not shady man waves for us to approach "I am always happy to have such thrifty guests at my table" He smiles oily while spreading his arms to show off the odd table in front of him "Would you care to join me for a game?"

Minthara and I share a look before both shrugging "Sure, what are the rules?"

His grin somehow gets even wider "I am glad you asked!"

Ten minutes later the man was rubbing his hands raw as we kept playing despite losing every round "Not to worry my friends, I am sure your luck will turn around! Would you care for another round?"

Oh that dice looks wrongly weighted, probably should fix that for him!

"Yes!" Minthara slams the table "Again!"

"I am to please, madam" The well mustached man grins once more.

Another ten minutes later.

"Impossible" I hear him hiss, before clearing his throat "That is to say see! Your luck has indeed turned at last!" His eyes take on a new intensity as he tosses the dice back into a bag and grabs a new handful, the man no doubt guarding him staring us down "Another?"

Oh my, so many badly made dice in one place!

Fixed!

Minthara, far too taken with the game, naturally accepts.

And promptly beats the man in the next six rounds.

His hands tremble as he places the septims on the table and slowly counts them out, he visibly keeps back from snarling at us as he speaks "Apologies, my friends, but I must away now."

"But I am still not done!" Minthara whines drunkenly.

The man says nothing and just grabs all of his belongings before running off.

"Rude." She huffs, totally ignoring the guard's glare.

"My great master and teacher!" The familiar Nord man's voice reaches us as he jogs up to us "Come and celebrate with us, for our conquest of the world begins tomorrow!"

The two of us share another quick glance and are once more dragged into the crowd.

-

The door slams behind us and the wall of noise disappears as we trudge out of the seaman's tavern, both of us slowly growing sober as our postures straightened and our steps became more certain.

We both sighed in contentment and Minthara even accepted my silent offer of roast horker "Haven't had something like that since Winterhold." I mutter happily "I swear if Nerevar wouldn't slap me for it I'd name him a lord or something."

"That man must live, at all costs." Minthara nods with utter certainty.

But before we could speak on, the sound of numerous footsteps drew our eyes, and the same man who tried cheating us at dice appeared around a corner, followed by a bunch of city guardsmen "There they are cousin! They robbed me blind and are tryin to escape!"

But the man leading the guards did not move, except beginning to violently shake in pants shitting terror.

"Cousin, are you not hearing me?" The gambler looked to the man, and his fellow guards who were also now just standing there, utterly terrified "Arrest these thieves or I swear I will-"

"Apologies for troubling you on this fine evening, leave this criminal to us!" The leader of the guards cuts him off with a voice that broke repeatedly as he spoke, and did not even wait for my response as he promptly kicked the man between the legs, shoved a wet rag in his mouth, and had him dragged off, leaving us both in silence.

I couldn't help it but my silent stare slowly turned into a snort and then into outright soul-deep laughter, inevitably ending up with me rolling in the dirt like a madman.

Minthara was not much better but at least she was still standing and only leaning while holding onto her stomach for dear life as she too laughed with tears in her eyes.

Illusions were quite fun from time to time.

-

We were woken up in the morning as loud knocking echoed through the master bedroom of my manor, the obvious concern radiating from the person outside serving as far more of a reason to wake than the knocking itself.

"My lord, dire news!" The voice of Vayrin Indoril echoed out "There is unrest at the docks and the Emperor has summoned you to aid them in calming them down!"

Grumbling to myself I sit up "Which dumbfucks are stirring shit up?"

"Mere sailors, or so I hear, but they are led by a powerful mage!"

For whatever reason I felt a sense of foreboding.

"He calls himself Dark Lord Ulf, and has declared his intention in conquering the world. Is this normal for Cyrodiil, my lord?"

I slowly turn to the now awake Minthara and we both promptly decide we are not dealing that shit and slip back under the covers.

"My lord?" Vayrin's concerned call comes again.

And I do not respond.

Fuck that.

-------

Your stones shall serve as a fine welcome for my return.

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