SSS-Class Revival Hunter

Chapter 133: (1)

The director of the orphanage where I had grown up was indifferent. This was both good and bad. The children at the orphanage had complained about it before.

“It’s all just a lick and a promise. All our birthdays are on January 1st.”

“He doesn’t want to have multiple birthday parties.”

“And what is wrong with my name? Seriously. Kim Maeng-Ja[1]?”

“Hey, your names at least sound natural, even with the surname Kim. But I’m Kim Hanbija[2]... He could have just named me Han Bi-Ja.”

That was also what I had always thought ever since I entered the Tower. But now that I had met the Guardian, Teacher, Raviel, and many others, I realized something. This might sound strange, but the director seemed to have always been wary of loving me and the other orphanage children too much.

I recalled the conversation I had with the director on the day I received my middle school uniform.

“Director, why are you like this? Do you not love us?”

When the director was asked a question, he became serious and asked me to give him a day. That was always his go-to response to a serious question.

“You asked me yesterday why I don’t love you a little more,” the director mentioned.

“Yes...”

After a day, I felt a bit sorry for even asking such a question. However, the director went on and gave me the answer he had put together over the day, as if he didn’t care how sorry I was.

“Gong-Ja, it’s easy for people to pretend to be something significant. That’s actually the easiest thing to do in the world. Pretending to be smart, strong, kind, or wise... You do that to your friends too, right? The same goes for me. I gave you all the names of wise scholars. Adults do that too.”

The director ran a hand down his face.

“Everyone wears a mask. There is no need to destroy that mask, but if you get too used to it, you forget at some point that you’re wearing it.”

He looked at my face, carefully observing me to see if I was following what he was saying.

“Just imagine this. If I show that I’m annoyed in front of you, what will you think?”

“Uh, that you’re stressed today... ?”

The director smiled bitterly. “That’s right. Sorry. I do that sometimes.”

He did that about once a month.

“Anyway, the important thing is that sometimes I get annoyed in front of you guys. And you know that very well. You know what kind of person I am. You realize that, right? But what would happen if I always loved you? What would it be like if I always said ‘I love all of you’ and ‘You are the joy of my life?’ What if I even hug you and say, ‘There’s nothing I care more about than you?’ What would happen if I were that kind of person and only got annoyed in front of you about once a year?”

The director shook his head.

“Then you guys would not understand why I’m mad at you when that would inevitably happen. I’m supposed to be the person who loves you the most, so why would I be mad?”

“...”

“You are still young, so you can only think of the easiest answers. Something like ‘Ah, I must have done something wrong.’”

The director shuddered slightly.

“Gong-Ja, even if I only get annoyed once a year, that would be about ten times in ten years. Even if you only remember half of those moments, that’s still five times. It’s more than enough to shape a child’s personality.”

The director was silent for a while.

“Don’t pretend I’m someone I’m not,” the director said quietly. “Remember me as an easily stressed and irritable guy. Think of me as someone who doesn’t even bother to throw you a separate birthday party. That’s the truth. Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t let a guy like me affect your life.”

“...”

“You can become strong, so become as strong as possible.”

In the director’s office, an A4 paper from a printer was hanging on the wall right across from his desk. It was just another one of those papers plastered on walls, so I never really paid too much attention to it. That time, however, it happened to catch my eye during the conversation.

The paper stated the following:

I work together with individuals, families, organizations, regional communities, and society because I believe in human dignity and social justice. Everyone should enjoy a humane life.

I always stand on the side of those who are alienated and suffering in order to protect their human rights and interests. I reject social injustice and put public interests ahead of my personal interests.

I hereby solemnly swear upon my honor and of my own free will that I will dedicate myself as a social welfare worker with morality and responsibility by complying with the social welfare workers’ code of ethics.

I looked at the director, who was lost in thought as he stared at nothing in particular without saying another word. His eyes were black.

Those eyes were still engraved in my mind.

***

“I’m sorry, Raviel. I can’t go out with you today,” I said after arriving at the school gate.

Raviel looked at me. Her gaze slowly traveled down, where my hand was interlocked with the Constellation Murderer’s. I had dragged him here. He didn’t ask why I was holding his hand or where I was taking him. He just quietly walked next to me with his head lowered.

“You sometimes show an incredible level of ability to take action, my dear. It’s a mystery, but I think this side of you is amazing,” Raviel said in a quiet voice. “Follow your heart. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not yet. But I’ll tell you right away if something happens.”

“I will always believe in you.” Raviel kissed my forehead. Immediately after that, she turned back and got into the limousine.

A butler who resembled the imperial chief steward drove the limousine away across the road.

“Okay then.” I looked back at the Constellation Murderer. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“To your house.”

It was the first time I saw the Constellation Murderer hesitate. At first glance, he looked like he was fed up with me, but I wasn’t going to change my mind. I planned to visit his parents first and give them an apology.

Though I don’t even know where to start unraveling the thread.

I knew apologizing wouldn’t solve this trauma. There was no way it could solve everything.

It seemed like the trauma itself had become a stage that had to be cleared because the intensity level was so high.

For now, let’s do what I can. I’ll take it step by step, like I always do.

However, my attempt to resolve the trauma was thwarted from the start.

“Here.”

I was speechless when I saw the place the Constellation Murderer guided me to. It was a garbage dump.

At the foot of the mountain, there was an empty lot surrounded by pine trees. That vacant lot was the city’s small trash can. Plastic bottles, dirty Styrofoam, and wads of paper the citizens had discarded were piled up messily. There was a shack in the middle of it.

—■■ lives in a garbage dump. All his school uniforms and indoor shoes are recycled.

I felt a headache creeping in when I remembered the text. I thought the sender had simply sent a mean text.

Bastards.

“What about your parents? Do they work?”

The shack wasn’t a home. It was simply a place to take refuge. The walls were too short to reach the roof, so there was a huge gap between them. The roof was covered with gray vinyl.

“My father collects and sells junk.”

Plastic waste surrounded the shack like moats. Unlike the other trash scattered in the lot, the plastic moats were clean and had torn labels.

Because of these moats, the shack seemed to be floating on the white plastic desert.

“What about your mother?”

“I don’t have one.”

“...”

After waiting for two hours, the Constellation Murderer’s father returned home. He was a poor man. However, life weighed him down more than poverty did. I could tell as soon as I saw him. When I used to live in a small studio, I sometimes looked in the mirror. I remember looking like him.

“Is this your friend, ■■?”

“No, I’m not his friend,” I answered.

“Hmm...?”

The old man narrowed his eyes. He looked very old for someone who had a high schooler son. He resembled the old boatman whose trauma I glimpsed while I had been in the Heavenly Demon Chronicle.

“I only hurt and bully him.”

The old man blinked at me, no emotion behind his eyes.

It had only been a minute since I started the conversation, but I realized it was too late to try to solve things. The old man in front of me was already too worn out and had nothing left in his heart to care about, unlike me when I used to live in a studio.

That was the difference between me and this man, but it was unclear where the difference came from. The one certain thing right now was that this man didn’t have the power to protect the Constellation Murderer.

“Here is the proof. If you look at the phone, you’ll see texts. If you look at this...” I showed everything I could.

The old man blinked at the sight of the hell that his child had been enduring. He stared at me. “I see...”

That was it. As soon as I finished talking, the old man stopped replying. It was as if the entire conversation came to an end. He just waited to see if I had anything more to say, and if not, he still did nothing. He seemed to have nothing to say to me.

I looked at the Constellation Murderer. He wasn’t looking at his father. He didn’t seem shocked or insulted by the conversation just now. Looking expressionless, he was just sitting quietly on the floor, as if everything happening right now was natural.

Yes, this was natural to him.

I stood up and bowed toward the old man. “I’m sorry for barging into your home like this. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to invite your son to stay at my house for a while. Would that be okay?”

“Sure...”

It was clear that the old man didn’t understand what I had just said. He was helpless. However, I explained it several times, for the sake of the Constellation Murderer.

“It may be a long stay. A week, a month. Maybe it will be longer than that. I will visit you every Saturday evening to tell you how your son is doing. Would that be okay, sir?”

“Yes, go ahead.”

Good. I looked back at the Constellation Murderer. “Let’s go.”

“...”

“Take what you need. Like I told your father, you’ll stay at my house for a while.”

“What are you doing?” The Constellation Murderer looked up at me. His voice was far from careful or polite. “Are you trying to get a clean slate now that you’re going to marry a rich girl? Because you’re scared that you’ll have problems later? You’re smart.”

My stomach churned.

“Or is this also a new game you’re playing with me? If that’s the case, just spit it out already. Tell me the rules. Don’t bother with all this charade. I’ll play your game. Shall I go to the schoolyard at night?”

The Constellation Murderer’s voice was monotonous. This was the voice of someone who was a day away from choosing to fall to his death.

“I’m sorry.”

“You are out of your mind.”

“Please give me one day. Please. I’ll do anything. Please bear one more day.”

For me, this was one of the many days of my life, but it was the last for the boy in front of me. I couldn’t help but wish, pray, and desperately ask him to stay strong for one more day.

“Do as you wish,” the Constellation Murderer muttered with fatigue.

Holding onto his wrist, I headed home. I had to go back to school because I didn’t know the way to go home from where I was. We arrived only after the sunset had set and the sky was dark.

“Please wait here for a moment.”

“...”

“I’ll be back within twenty minutes. Can you please wait for that long?”

“I told you to do whatever you want...”

I left the Constellation Murderer on the side of the road and headed inside the house.

The Guardian was out in the yard. It looked like he was watching the night sky with a glass of whiskey next to him.

“Hey, son. You’re a little late today. Haha. You aren’t late because you were enjoying your date too much, are you? I’m telling you just in case. Start dating seriously after you graduate from high school. Nothing good will come out from a relationship if you step on the accelerator pedal too hard.”

The Sword Emperor was my partner and the person who had taught me that the future was worth looking forward to. In this world, he was my...

“...Father.”

“Huh?” The Guardian blinked. “Oh, something feels off. But what...? It’s a little strange that you call me father. It’s not just strange. It’s very... awkward. It’s so awkward that I feel like I will die from goosebumps. Is it because I’m tipsy?”

I called out to him again. “Father, there is no way you raised me like this.”

“What?”

“The father I know is a great person. Scary, too. Although you are like a self-absorbed psychopath in some aspects, you don’t compromise on what you think is wrong.”

The Guardian frowned. “What are you talking about, son...?”

“If you were my father, I would never grow up to be a bully. I may go astray from time to time, but, before I go completely off the rails, you’ll drag me back on the right path even if it means beating me until I’m almost dead.”

That was who he was.

“I bullied a weaker kid and... drove him to commit suicide.”

“I heard a lot of people making a fuss about what happened, but don’t pay any attention to them. They don’t have the courage to say it to your face, so they’re just messing with you on the internet. Gosh, those guys should have all their fingers cut off.”

“There’s no way you would say something like that. You vowed to teach me how to be happy when I was suffering. You simply aren’t capable of talking like that. ”

“...”

“I’m the type of person you despise the most, so calling me your son that affectionately is impossible. This whole world is impossible.”

The night was silent. I couldn’t hear a single insect in the yard.

I looked straight at the Guardian and said, “You aren’t the Sword Emperor.”

“...”

“Get lost right now.”

After I said that, the Guardian collapsed.

—■■■■■.

His skin, bones... Everything that made up the Guardian melted and disappeared. When I closed my eyes and opened them again, an unrecognizable, limp shadow was standing there like a ghost.

—■■■■, ■■.......

I couldn’t understand what it was saying, nor could I recognize its face. However, I knew that was the bare face of my father in this world.

I passed by the Guardian and entered the house. Teacher was sitting on the living room sofa, smiling softly. I never thought I would see her like that.

“Welcome, Gong-Ja. How was school today, my son?”

1. The Korean name for Mencius. ☜

2. The Korean name for Han Fei. But the speaker also hates it because a three-syllable first name is considered old-fashioned nowadays ☜