Stranger Danger

The Red Powder was nigh invincible except for one major flaw: it was water averse. It would never go into a body of water unless they had no other choice. Naturally, the hunted duo plunged head first into the pond as soon as they stumbled upon it. That was when they discovered that it was not what it seemed.

After that, they always hid in the pond if they were hunted by a Nine Nethers Demon they couldn’t handle. In fact, they even exploited its unique ability to invert size and power to hunt down the hunters instead.

They would have pulled the same trick to elude the ghost bride, but at the time, they were way, way too far away from the pond. As a result, they ran out of energy and were trapped long before they managed to make it back. Otherwise, there was a not insignificant chance that they could have eluded the ghost bride’s pursuit without any external intervention.

Of course, the duo had carefully inspected every inch of this pond considering how special it was. Alas, they found nothing.

“Say, do you think this pond’s power will work on a Sage?” Ye Qing asked suddenly.

“Naturally.” Yi Pin nodded before realizing the nature of Ye Qing’s question and watched him warily. “What are you planning?”@@novelbin@@

“Tell me, brother: what are the chances we could lure the two Sages into this pond and use its unique characteristic to kill them?” Ye Qing asked while rubbing his chin.

“Cough! Cough! Cough!” Yi Pin’s eyes bulged like saucers as he coughed uncontrollably.

Uncertain Monk was watching Ye Qing with a disbelieving look as well. Such was his shock that the Buddhist beads in his hand were cracked a little.

“You’re serious, brother?” Yi Pin asked after waiting for a moment and did not receive the “It’s just a joke!” response he was expecting.

“I am thinking about it, yes.” Ye Qing nodded.

“In that case, stop thinking about it this instant.”

Yi Pin hurriedly stopped him. “Sages are not cabbages! One does not simply kill them like nothing!”

“How hard is it to kill them, exactly?” Ye Qing asked curiously. “No matter how powerful they are, they’re still a head on a pair of shoulders, aren’t they?”

“Amitabha, you seem to have quite the misunderstanding, benefactor. A Sage is someone whose Way has become one with the world. Empowered and blessed by the Heavenly Way itself, they are powerful enough to rival celestials or gods. They are impervious to mortals and unkillable by anyone but Sages.”

“That is how the saying goes, but the reality is that even a Sage must overcome immense difficulties to kill another Sage.”

Yi Pin pointed a finger at Uncertain Monk. “Dude, you really should listen to the monk. Back when he betrayed Lanke Temple and escaped, this guy somehow managed to survive being attacked by three Buddhas and six chiefs. He is as resilient as an earthworm.”

“Amitabha, I am but a disciple before you, the master.”

Uncertain said slowly, “Back then, you faced off against the Twelve Sword Celestials of the Great Emperor of Six Ways and—”

“Ababababa! Why are you dredging up ancient history when I’m talking about the present?” Yi Pin interrupted him hurriedly before looking at Ye Qing. “Anyway, my point is, you may be a Great Grandmaster right now—quite the extraordinary Great Grandmaster, in fact—brother, but not even ten of you is a match for one Sage, understand?”

“So please, listen to me this once and stay here quietly, okay? Let’s not cause any more trouble, okay?”

Does he have an aversion toward living or something? Why does he always poke death on the forehead like he has a death wish?!

“Fine, fine. You’re too high strung, brother. I was just making a suggestion!” Ye Qing replied while rubbing his nose. He supposed he had gotten a little arrogant after toying not one, but multiple Half-Sages and Sages like puppets on strings. That was why he thought he got the audacious, unrealistic idea to kill a Sage.

That said, he was always open to sound advice. He did not hesitate to bin the idea off after both Yi Pin and Uncertain told him in no uncertain terms that it was impossible.

“I suppose I am. Good. good.” Yi Pin let out an audible sigh of relief and wiped away the non-existent sweat on his forehead.

Uncertain also chanted “Amitabha” quietly under his breath. When Yi Pin had told him about Ye Qing, his main remarks were, “The guy’s stupidly fortunate” and “He’s one of, if not the biggest troublemaker I’ve ever met”. Now he understood exactly what he meant by that. With balls like these, what trouble he couldn’t get up to?

“That said… the plan can’t be to hide here forever, right?” Ye Qing spoke up again after a moment of silence.

“Brother! What are you planning now?” Yi Pin’s voice gained a note of hysteria. He had no idea what Ye Qing was plotting, and the idea positively terrified him. ř₳ＮȯꞖƐ𝐬

Uncertain accidentally crushed a Buddhist bead as well.

“Relax, bro! I was just asking if either of you know how to leave the Kunlun Ruins. A virtuous man does not stand next to a wall about to collapse, and hiding here is not a long-term solution. Now that you’re safe, I too want to leave this place behind, you know?!”

Ye Qing barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes when he saw Yi Pin and Uncertain’s wary expressions. I’m not that stupid or desperate for action, okay?!

“Oh. Right, of course.”

Yi Pin let out a sigh of relief before declaring shamelessly, “Also, nope! If I knew, I would have left this heaven forsaken place already!”

“What about you, Zen Master?” Ye Qing looked at Uncertain.

“Alas, I do not know the way out either.”

Uncertain shook his head. “However, there is nothing to worry about, benefactor. It is simply a matter of effort. We will find the exit eventually.”

“It sounds like you have a plan, monk.” Yi Pin looked at Uncertain.

“Indeed. The plan is to wait and see what happens.”

Uncertain said calmly, “East and West Kunlun would not be able to find us. Eventually, they will switch targets and seek out the celestials of Kunlun Ruins instead. I am sure they will cause a great commotion. That will be our chance to make our escape.”

“You’re saying we should guard the tree stump and wait for the rabbit to show up[1]? That’s… not a bad idea!”

Yi Pin’s eyes slowly lit up as he continued, “Not only that, assuming that East Kunlun and West Kunlun went to war against the celestials, we could even play the fisherman and fish in troubled waters so to speak!”

Yi Pin gave Uncertain an excited slap on the shoulder. “Hahaha! You finally came up with a reliable idea for once, monk. Not bad!”

“All things in this world is fated. What is ours will be ours one way or another,” Uncertain declared calmly and confidently. “Amitabha…”

“...”

At the side, Ye Qing was glaring at the duo and barely resisting the urge to slap them in the face. Who were the duo who complained that he was far too brazen and incautious for his own good? Who were the duo who were plotting to pluck the tiger’s tooth from its mouth now? What, the officials can burn a prefecture, but the people can’t light a lamp[2]?”

Also! One of you is a Taoist, and the other a monk, and you’re both plotting to exploit another’s misery for your own advantage? How shameless! Taozu and Gautama will spit on your face if they know about you two! Ptooey!

Oh wait, I’m neither Taozu nor Gautama. Never mind then.

“Ahem… if we are all in agreement, then we gotta rest, recuperate, and prepare accordingly.”

Ye Qing interrupted, “Brother, Zen Master, you were seriously injured and exhausted after being trapped by the ghost bride. You should rest and recover your strength as much as possible. In the meantime, I will guard you both and keep an eye on our quarries.”

“Joyless is right. Your Buddhist treasure is damaged, and your Golden Body is barely better. If you don’t rest now, your injuries will grow even more severe than they already are.” Yi Pin looked at Uncertain seriously.

“In that case, I shall do just that. Thank you, benefactor.” Uncertain gave Ye Qing a bow.

“You’re welcome, Zen Master. It is my duty.”

Ye Qing returned the salute. “Do not hesitate to call upon me if you need anything.”

“I will. Thank you again.” Uncertain nodded, closed his eyes, and slowly sank to the bottom of the pond.

“And I am going to catch some sleep. Seriously, I barely had a good night’s rest since I got caught by that ghost bride. You can literally see the dark circles under my eyes.”

Yi Pin yawned loudly and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry to trouble you, brother. I’m going to bed now.”

Yi Pin let out another yawn, and a bubble appeared out of his mouth. It grew bigger and bigger until it wrapped around Yi Pin completely, isolating every drop of water in the process.

The next moment, the bubble carrying Yi Pin slipped into the swarm of water grass and disappeared.

1. To wait idly for opportunities. ☜

2. There is an interesting folktale behind this idiom. Basically, there was once an official who forbade the people from lighting lamps inside their houses because the Chinese word lamp sounds identical to his surname, and he took offense from it. However, the Lantern Festival is near, and according to past regulations, one must light the celebratory lamps for three days straight. As a result, the minor officials did not know how they should compose the upcoming public notice. In the end, they decided to make a minor amendment to the notice and say, “This prefecture will burn as normal for the next three days.”

The next day, the people saw the notices and became completely confused. The travelers in particular thought that the officials had gone mad and were planning to burn the city for three whole days. So, they hurried to pack their stuff and leave the place. The locals who had had to live under countless nonsensical regulations were even more pissed and complained, “The officials can burn a prefecture, but the people can’t even light a simple lamp? What kind of world is this?” ☜