Chapter 98 98: Self-awareness
Returning to the tent to rest, Idan lay down, but could not immediately fall asleep.
His mind was preoccupied with finding a solution to the problem.: how to fully control his bloodline so that it wouldn't affect his emotions and pose a hidden threat that could explode at any moment.
He realized that the root of the problem lay in himself, not in others. He should have changed his views, accepted himself for who he is, and sought to become the best version of himself. It was important to stop looking for excuses and not shift responsibility onto others.
He began to recall the most important moments of his life, starting with those that were most vividly etched in his memory.
He thought of his dead father. Idan loved him the way he was. Unlike many other people, his father was an ordinary man who genuinely loved his wife and children.
He never raised a hand against Idan and his older sister. Idan clearly remembered how his older sister adored her father, and how he spoiled her.
There was harmony in their family. Idan had never felt jealous of his father's affection for his older sister and for his sister, who was also very close to his father.
Only one moment slightly overshadowed this idyll. It was a period when his father was framed at work, and he had to quit. He had been looking for a new job for a long time, but he was not discouraged and did not give up. And after a while, everything paid off: he found a decent job, a salary that could fully provide for their small family.
This incident was the reason that his older sister began to see the representatives of high society and rich families as her enemies. She instilled in him a dislike for these people, explaining that they were the cause of their father's suffering.
By doing this, Irene wanted to protect her younger brother from the same fate that befell their father. She did not want her brother to get involved with members of high society, who, in her opinion, were two-faced and selfish people.
The fact is that a close friend of their father, a representative of one of these families, betrayed and framed him, forcing him to quit his job. Irene was already old enough at that time and realized all the consequences of this betrayal. Although the father did not show his suffering to the children, she understood perfectly well how he suffered.
Therefore, she began to fiercely hate this man and everyone who was associated with him. Gradually, her hatred spread to the entire high society as a whole.
"Then there was a disaster," Idan said softly, remembering the day that turned not only his life, but the life of their entire world upside down.
The death of his father as a result of this disaster was a heavy blow to everyone. But their mother had the hardest time of all. After hearing this news, she couldn't accept it. And only the support of her older sister helped her survive the first days after the tragedy.
"Then a sudden event occurred that plunged everyone into sleep," is how Idan recalled that strange day when everyone suddenly lost consciousness, and some people received revelation and guidance.
"The introduction of the serum and the awakened" — these memories of a strange event that happened on one of the ordinary days haunted him.
That day, he took a serum that he later found out was the awakening serum.
Now that he thought about it, he couldn't understand how the government could find out about serums that help people awaken. As an awakened one, he knew that only the awakened ones could awaken the System. But how could a simple serum help people connect with the System or awaken it?
His mind was unable to comprehend all these mysteries.
This was followed by the realization that her sister had awakened, his jealousy, and his foolish, childish-like actions. When he thought about them, he wanted to forget about them.
However, he had to come to terms with it, because these actions were an integral part of himself, a valuable lesson that he had to learn in order not to repeat them over and over again.
He quickly recalled the first year after the disaster. He remembered his stupidest actions, for which his older sister beat him. He remembered how he disappointed his mother.
When he reached the moment when he encountered Arabel and awakened the System, everything else seemed to him to be the dream of an unhealthy and narrow-minded person. The System's tasks seemed crazy, and all the things he did seemed stupid.
However, as a result of all this, he found himself in this world with Arabel, a descendant of a superior family, with those whom his older sister Irene inspired him to hate.
The memories of further events in this wonderful world were still alive in his mind, and there was no need to return to them.
These were all the memories that defined his personality and made him who he is now.
But... there were other memories.
The memories he had taken over from his second personality, experienced during the ascension trial, seemed to him to be a part of himself. However, his mind and self-awareness did not accept these memories, as well as the memories themselves, which did not seem to want to become a part of his life.
No, it's not like that. They didn't want to accept him, but the world he lived in. These memories did not believe in what was happening in this world.
It is these memories that prevent him from fully mastering his bloodline and have a significant impact on his emotions.
Every time he accesses his Alpha Fire bloodline, these memories gain a connection with him, and all the emotions they hold, like a wave, flood his mind and excite him.
This time, he completely immersed himself in his mind, trying to remember what had happened to his other self during the trial. He wanted to understand the causes of those intense emotions and find a way to calm them down.
Idan realized that the key to full control over his bloodline lay precisely in these memories.
Reliving them, Idan finally caught the thread that led him to this key. And, as he suspected, this thread led him to his and Arabel's homeworld.
Idan sighed softly, realizing that only by returning to his homeworld would he be able to fully control his bloodline. There is no other way.
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