The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

Join the discord! Here

* * *

〈 Chapter 2 〉 Chapter 2. Prologue(2）

* * *

**

Crrruuunnnch.

Without consciously intending to, my mouth screams automatically.

My job is to control that scream, making it more horrific, more desperate.

Pain, so intense it's hard to even process in my mind, surges through my nerves. It feels like my brain is being fried.

I know that pain is a signal that your body is in danger. If that's the case, then my body must be in irreversible danger.

I want to lose consciousness.

I want to be at ease.

But endure.

It's time to harvest the fruits of your journey so far.

If I let my guard down even a little here, I'll die.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah—!!!!!"

""Ispa!!!""

I've lost feeling below my waist. The crushed cross-section feels like it's on fire.

The children, still in a state of panic, unable to face reality, call my name.

The 5 stages of accepting death, they say. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. If you don't know, look up the Simpsons meme circulating on Google. (TL Note: So outdated author)

These children probably still find it hard to accept the situation I'm in.

Denial, is that it?

"Gah, gah—, kuh, ha, ha, haaack—"

"I-Ispa? You're, you're joking, right? This isn't funny, come out quickly, hurry!!"

I writhe and thrash as much as I can.

My hands pound on the floor.

Every time they do, a murky, unidentifiable liquid leaks from my mouth and nose.

I act out my dying self as ridiculously and pathetically as possible.

Seeing me like this, Helena collapses to the floor. I see a face paler than I've ever seen before, eyes that seem to have lost their life, and a mouth hanging open in a daze.

"Ispa!! Th-This isn't funny, come out!! Come out!!!"

Yuta still seems to think I'm joking. He thinks I'm just messing around and delaying my escape.

Yuta pulls on my arms.

With all his might.

Believing I'm playing a prank, he uses all his strength.

Riip, I hear a sound that shouldn't be coming from my body.

"Kuaa, ha, huh, ha—St-Stop, St-Stop, Yuta stop—aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!"

Ugh, this is going to really hurt.

Can I endure it?

—Crrraack.

With an incredibly angry voice, yet a face filled with terror, Yuta, still not fully grasping the situation, pulls at my body.

My lower body, crushed under the heavy stone ceiling, is now shaped like chewing gum. The skin that was still somehow connecting it to my upper body tears with his force, and my body is dragged out.

My body, completely split in half.

Split in half and die!

"Ah......?"

Like a tangled rope unraveling, my internal organs stretch out, following my pulled body.

Seeing this, Yuta finally seems to realize the reality and collapses to the floor just like Helena.

Realizing what he has done.

"Ah....ah.....? I-Ispa?"

" Kuheo...uh...uah...."

What expression is on my face? A face contorted in pain? Or a face filled with rage towards Yuta, who caused this? Or perhaps a blank, vacant expression?

Whatever it is, I hope my true emotions aren't showing.

I bite my lip. I dig my nails into the stone floor, trying to regain my senses. Crack, my nails break and pierce my skin, bringing my fleeting consciousness back.

As I come to, a laugh escapes me. A smile forms on my face. No, hold it in.

I lift my head.

I see the children looking at me with expressions that seem like they're about to cry. Mistakes, or whatever you call them. All of them seem to be weighing heavily on them.

Lost children, drowning in a thick swamp of guilt.

Seeing them unable to escape that swamp, I wanted to embrace them right away.

Yuta, Helena, the children who were my family in this life.

Their previous expressions are gone, and Yuta is crying. Screaming and crying, just like the scream I had let out.

Ah.

So good.

That face.

Lost eyes, a heart pounding relentlessly, a trembling body, all of them were proof that this life of mine wasn't in vain.

Seeing the two children flinch and react to every single one of my groans, echoing in the small space as I writhe, I feel like I could die right now without any regrets.

Well, I'll be dying soon anyway.

14 years. I've spent 14 years living with them like family.

Even though I look like this, if we're just talking about mental age, I could be their great-great-grandmother, so taking care of them was entirely my responsibility.

Well, it wasn't just those two, I was a bit busy taking care of the other orphans too, but it was still worthwhile.

And so, we, who had been living like that, decided to become adventurers, which was Yuta's dream, and left home.

And our long-awaited, anticipated first expedition…

—Ended up like this.

Caught in a trap due to a hasty decision, driven by greed, the damage only worsened, and the result was this ending.

It's a shame.

I also wanted to spend more time with them, in my own way.

Even though they're going through puberty, the shock must be immense, seeing me, their mental pillar, in such a disgraceful state.

Personally, I... yes, I hope they take this opportunity as a practice run and become renowned adventurers in the future.

These children are strong.

Well, they'll be able to overcome something like this someday.

Even if they can't overcome it, they can just learn from this mistake and do well in the future.

Yes, that's it.

"Guh.....ah......ah....."

"What should we…do in a situation like this...? Yuta...? Ispa...?"

"..........Ah...?"

That's right, I am a teacher.

A teacher who offers unforgettable lessons and teachings to brilliant people who only have one life, sacrificing my worthless life. What a blissful profession.

Their faces filled with despair, their grief, their sorrow, all of it proves that my life wasn't meaningless.

My own way of living, discovered after countless years, in that long curse.

Yes, reincarnation wasn't a curse, but a blessing.

"Ugh....."

My vision darkens.

This short moment of happiness will also soon come to an end.

I muster all my remaining strength. My blurred vision momentarily focuses. I slowly lift my hand, covered in blood from broken and scraped fingernails.

Reaching towards Helena.

"Ah.....ah....?"

The child who sits still, lost like a child without anyone to tell her what to do.

This is my final lesson, for the child who lacks decisiveness.

"....ill me..."

"Ispa?! What did you say?"

Helena's face brightens and she approaches me with a look of hope as I speak.

It's not that she has hope that I'll survive, but rather, she feels relieved to receive an order in a situation where she doesn't know what to do.

Oh dear.

You shouldn't be like that, Helena.

With trembling fingers, I point towards her waist.

Where the finely sharpened dagger is.

I said,

"—Kill, me."

"Huh....?"

As if she'd heard something wrong, a weak question escapes her lips reflexively.

But you know, don't you?

That I'm going to die soon.

That in this state, I'll writhe in pain, scream, and then meet my end in an unsightly manner.

You have to choose.

"Ah, it hurts."

"Ah....ah..!?"

You must feel wronged, frustrated. You must curse the world, wondering why such a cruel thing is happening to you, who did nothing wrong.

But Helena, that's just how life is. Haven't you seen a Crayon Shin-chan movie? The cliché story of a handsome prince appearing to save everyone should be getting old by now.

Ah, maybe you haven't seen it.

Now, stab it in.

Push that knife into my neck.

Helena.

I always told you that being indecisive, hating responsibility, and leaving decisions to others is a bad thing.

This time too, you didn't stop Yuta when he insisted on going inside recklessly.

Why? Because you didn't want to fight with him.

It was simply for that reason.

Having watched her life unfold by her side, I could easily understand why she takes that stance.

This will cause a huge problem later on.

Even if it wasn't me, it would have happened someday.

Even if a problem doesn't arise, the resentment will remain deep within Helena's heart and torment her.

"Huh..ah...ha..."

"I don't...want to.... I don't want to..!!"

Helena's expression is that of someone whose world has crumbled.

Every time I saw that face, my mind was filled with ecstasy, overwhelmed by a happiness that felt like it would melt me.

But, is this it?

Despite my strong desire to see them more, my body, already hurtling towards death, seemed unable to hold on any longer.

My vision completely fades to black, my vitality draining away.

I'm going to die now.

If the stories of the world are composed of a beginning, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution, my story always ends at the climax.

After that, my consciousness faded and I couldn't remember much.

I could only feel the cold sensation of steel against my neck, accompanied by a scream lamenting the world.

Hmm, you've made up your mind, Helena.

Well done.

Yes, live like this from now on.

I thought that if she did, she would be able to overcome anything that came her way.

Ah.

This was so good too.

100 out of 10.

In the approaching darkness, only then could I finally let go of everything and laugh to my heart's content.

**

A small but gentle kingdom, surrounded by mountains, where everyone cares for each other.

In the capital, located in the center of the kingdom, everyone held their breath, waiting one piece of news.

Even the clumsy king who spends sleepless nights feeling sorry for speaking harshly to others.

The second princess, who, excited about the imminent birth of her long-awaited sibling, insisted on naming the baby.

The first princess, sighing at the sight of the two, yet inwardly excited.

Everyone.

And amidst their blessings—

"—,ㅡㅡ!!"

"—The baby has been born!"

Starting with the baby's cry, cheers erupted throughout the royal palace.

The beginning (?), the story starts anew.

* * *