The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 25 〉 Chapter 25. History Has No "What Ifs," but Here, We Do.

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***

The final side story.

Therefore, the "what if" story that will unfold is not history.

It's someone's dream, an illusion, a hope, or perhaps something else entirely.

Something ambiguous.

What if.

What if the protagonist were reborn not in the world of the original story, but in the world of the prologue.

This is the story of that "what if."

***

I believe that sorrow is the most fundamental emotion.

Those who can't empathize with the joy of others when witnessing their happiness are considered pitiful, but those who can't feel genuine sorrow when witnessing the pain or failure of others are not considered truly human.

That's because everyone's life is a tragedy, not a comedy.

Except for a very few exceptions, everyone carries their own sorrows and worries.

And those exceptions, too, are pitiful in their inability to experience sorrow and worry.

Because everyone is pitiful, they reject those who don't understand them.

That's why, among all emotions, I consider sorrow to be the most profound.

There is no ground to stand on built upon success.

Only failure can become the steps that lead one to a higher level.

Therefore.

I just wanted to be their stepping stone.

I don't want to be the one holding them back...!!

"—Ispa."

"...Yuta, sir"

Squeeze, my hand, gripped tightly, gradually turned white.

I tried my best to break free, but I, still in a child's body, couldn't overcome his grown-up strength.

It felt like my wrist was about to shatter from the pain, but I wasn't in a position to care about its condition.

I have to escape.

I have to get away from these children...

"Where are you going again?"

"....!!"

It was a long struggle.

In the end, I couldn't free my wrist.

**

Thud, I was thrown onto the bed, I had no time to register the slightly hard texture of the mattress before I started scanning my surroundings.

In the spacious room, large enough to accommodate several people, there wasn't a single window in sight.

The only exit was the door, blocked by the person who had dragged me here.

Click, something unknown was fastened to the door.

"....Yuta."

"Ispa, right? No, it can't be anyone else."

The windowless room was pitch black. The only source of light, a candle, flickered and died as Yuta strode towards me, the wind from his movement extinguishing the flame.

Without any other source of light, the room was enveloped in pure darkness, rendering everything invisible.

Determined to escape somehow, I tried to crawl across the bed, moving to his blind spot.

But his hand grabbed me first.

"Those eyes. That hair. That smile. I could never forget them, Ispa."

"....I'm—"

"—I won't hear any objections."

No matter how much I had trained and honed my skills over countless years, the one thing I had learned was that the logic of inherent strength could never be overturned, no matter what I did.

"At first, I thought I was seeing things."

"You're mistaken."

His left hand grabbed my right hand.

"But, after touching you, I could feel it for sure."

"I'm not, that, person, I'm, not."

His right hand grabbed my left hand.

"Ispa. You're alive."

"I don't know, that person."

"—You're lying."

His legs wrapped around my waist like a snake.

My body was completely immobilized, escape was impossible.

Was it a mistake to think that I could just watch them from afar, since having been reborn in the same world with the same appearances?

Or was it a mistake to assume that my presence in their lives wasn't that significant?

Hearing that they had become famous as the guild master and vice guild master, seeing their remarkable growth, I couldn't help but smile as they passed by. Was that a mistake?

I was caught by Yuta, who had recognized me.

"Ispa. Ispa. Ispa...."

"Ugh... Keuuk... Let me go. If it gets out that the vice guild master of the Silver Shadow Guild did this...!"

"—Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"Ah—!?"

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my shoulder.

His hands and legs bound me, and the pitch-black darkness completely obscured my vision, so I didn't know what had attacked me.

An unpleasant sensation, strength drained from my body, and rational thought became difficult.

What?

What just, happened?

His breathing echoed loudly in my ears.

"By the way, Ispa, you haven't changed at all."

"Ugh, haa, haaah, wh-what…!?"

"Your hair, your height, your chest, your eyes, your scent, everything is exactly the same as before."

Did he notice my weakened resistance?

He released his grip on my body and slowly started caressing my face.

Little by little, his hands moved from top to bottom, exploring every inch of my body. When he reached my legs, his touch became even more passionate, as if he was trying to fully comprehend their existence.

"....!!"

"Is this… a dream?"

His grown-up body, past twenty, embraced my still-childlike body with overwhelming force.

Suffocated by the tight embrace, I was helpless to resist.

This is… dangerous…!

"Even if it's a dream, it would be nice. Lately, you haven't been appearing in my dreams."

"Come to….your senses…!"

"I'm more sane than ever right now. Yes, so rational. Like this."

"—!!!!!"

The intense pain from before returned.

I'm not supposed to feel pain easily, so why wasn't this pain subsiding?

It hurts. Stop it. Let go.

"—KUh, haa… haa…"

"Ispa, why did you do that?"

Thud.

I mustered my last ounce of strength and broke free from his embrace, but I couldn't even take a few steps before my ankle was caught.

Dragged back to him, I saw his sapphire-blue eyes, shining brightly in the darkness.

The eyes I had praised, saying they were like jewels.

Now, they were shining in the darkness, staring at me.

"I'm... not... Ispa…!"

"......."

"I... don't understand… what the vice guild master… is talking about…!!"

"......"

Even though I was reborn, I didn't want to appear before them.

Who cares about the steps they've already climbed?

Stairs silently help others ascend.

They had already grown enough and left behind achievements more remarkable than anyone else's. I would be content if just one letter of my name was written at the end of that.

Stairs should be a tool for their users, not a burden.

"So—!"

So.

"—Are you done talking, Ispa?"

".....!!"

It seems my words never reached his ears from the beginning.

A sharp pain shot through my ankle, gripped tightly in his hand. It felt like a hot iron was searing my flesh.

"Hyaaaaaah—!!?"

"Why, you, why did you, die before my eyes because of my mistake, why are you here now, alive?"

In the darkness, I was dragged backwards with great force. My small hands couldn't even grip the floor to resist.

My body.

Gradually.

Backwards.

"Let…go…!"

"Everything is so confusing. This might be a dream. Maybe I've finally gone mad."

"Re…ally—!!?"

A sharp pain, as if my flesh was being ripped apart, shot through my other ankle.

All I could do was cover my mouth with both hands, praying that Yuta's reputation wouldn't be tarnished, that my screams wouldn't escape this room.

"But it's okay."

"Haa... Huhp…!"

"—Because, you're here."

The weight of his body pressed down on me.

He collapsed on top of me, engulfing me.

Ah, where did it all go wrong?

Because I wanted to see them grow up, to see their beautiful, mature selves?

Because I overlooked the fact that they still hadn't let go of me?

I don't know.

I heard his voice, close to my ear.

"So, until this dream ends."

"Haa... Haa..."

In the end, I had no choice but to accept it.

"—Stay with me."

That this life would have to be used to indulge his whims.

A gift for him, who had grown so well.

I have no choice but to do so.

**

Click, I heard the door closing softly.

Careful consideration to avoid waking me from my sleep.

But I had actually been awake for a while, only pretending to sleep because I had nothing else to do, so I quickly got up.

Well, his consideration was so heartwarming that I felt good.

As usual, I slowly crawled out of bed and went to greet the visitor.

The metal chains on my neck and legs clinked as I approached the homeowner.

"Welcome back, Yuta?"

"—Yes, Ispa."

Yuta looked at me with joy, then lifted me like a pet dog, placing his hand under my armpits.

I gave him a resigned look and nuzzled my face against his cheek.

I didn't know where it all went wrong.

But, this life is useless anyway.

I decided to use it for my childhood friend, who had done so well on his own.

That was all.

*** (Author’s Afterword)

This is the end of the side stories.

I might come up with more side stories when I start writing part 2.

This is Ispa's pet route, where she doesn't care much for her own life.

No one knows what happened to her in the darkness.

Eyes can only see because of light.

In a place devoid of light, no one knows what happened.

Not even the author.

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