The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 8 〉 Chapter 8. Madness.

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**

A quiet and peaceful day in the middle of winter, the exact date escapes my memory, only the falling snow remains vivid.

Remi held Aris in her small embrace. It was a posture that seemed uncomfortable for both Remi and Aris, but they just smiled at each other, content.

Mother was sitting in a rocking chair, knitting.

And Father was sitting at a round table, having a pleasant conversation with me.

It was a rare day when the whole family was gathered together.

"Anna, what do you think is the most important quality for a king to have?"

Father suddenly posed a question to me.

It was a vague question, and I asked Father again to confirm if I understood correctly.

"Are you asking about the most important virtue a king should possess?"

"Well, you could say that."

Ability, virtue.

I racked my brain to understand the intent of his question.

Tap, tap, I tapped on the table. But the table couldn't tell me anything. It's not like there's writing on it. Even I know that there's no such thing as a magic mirror from fairy tales that answers when you ask it questions.

I looked at Father's face, hoping for some kind of hint, but he just smiled gently and looked back at me.

What could it be?

Many answers came to mind.

From diplomacy to networking, social skills, intelligence that encompassed them all, and so on. I narrowed down the candidates for a suitable answer.

But none of them came out of my mouth. They all could be the correct answer, for different reasons.

At the same time, none of them could be the right answer.

I just remained silent, fidgeting restlessly.

Was I afraid of getting it wrong, or did I not want to voice my crude opinion to Father?

Silence fell upon the room. It wasn't a cold, chilling silence, but a warm, comfortable silence filled with the crackling of firewood in the fireplace. Not a silence of reprimand, but a silence of patient anticipation, like parents waiting for a late child.

And the one who broke the silence—

Was none other than Remi.

"Me! Me! I know!"

"Oh, is that so? Our Remi, do you know the answer?"

"Yes!"

Remi stretched out one arm, shouting that she knew the answer. Aris, nestled in her arms, saw that and mimicked her, raising her arm as well.

Mother laughed, saying they were both so adorable.

"It's strength!"

"Oh...?"

"Yes! You just need to be super strong and boom! Defeat everyone!"

Strength. Individual physical power.

It was one of the candidates I had considered, but I ruled it out, thinking that individual strength wouldn't be of much help in ruling a kingdom.

Making strange sound effects with her mouth, Remi excitedly waved her hand as if she had gotten the answer right. Aris, seeing that, imitated her again.

Don't imitate such bad things... Aris... It's bad, bad.

Bad?

Yes, that's right. Bad. You shouldn't copy Remi.

Is Remi, bad?

Yes.

I ignored Remi's glare at me. I desperately prayed to the heavens that Aris wouldn't grow up to be as much of a troublemaker as Remi.

Hearing her answer, Father just smiled without saying a word.

Was it... not the right answer?

One candidate was eliminated. But I still didn't know anything. It felt like playing a game of twenty questions where I could only ask one question. There was no way I could get it right.

I couldn't glean anything from Father's enigmatic expression.

Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, I chose the candidate that I thought was most likely the correct answer.

"I think it's intelligence."

"Oh, that's not a bad answer."

Intelligence. This was also a vague answer. It was a word that encompassed a vast range of meanings.

I nervously looked at Father, but he just spread his arms wide and said there was no right answer to my question~.

He just wanted to know how we thought and why.

There was no right answer?

I felt a little foolish for being so nervous.

"Ah! Remi, you got it right too."

"Heehee~ As expected, I'm amazing! Right, Aris!"

"Yes!"

Remi leaned her head down and received a pat from Aris.

Good job, Big sis~ You're cool~

Yes, yes! I worked hard! Heehee~

Every time I saw that scene, I felt a strange emotion.

From the day Aris was born, Remi hadn't thought about leaving her side. They ate together, bathed together, and she cherished Aris as if she was her own child.

Aris, who grew up by the side of the carefree Remi, was strangely mature. Remi is four years older than Aris, but why does it feel like Aris is taking care of Remi?

It's an unsolved mystery in my heart.

"So Aris, what do you think?"

"Hmm~?"

Suddenly, Father posed the question to Aris, who was nestled in Remi's arms. Aris just tilted her head and stared at Father.

Seeing that, Mother scolded him.

It was too difficult a question for a four-year-old child.

"Honey, how could Aris know that?"

"Haha... I was just asking."

"Uhhh..."

Aris held her head in her hands and started groaning in thought.

She looked so cute, I seriously wondered if the most important ability for a king was to have a child like Aris.

My precious little sister, who warms my heart.

My little sister, who I am so proud of.

"—It's kindness!"

"...?!"

Aris raised her hands high and declared. Father's eyes widened in surprise. Mother stopped knitting and looked at Aris.

Remi... well, as usual, she just laughed cheerfully while holding Aris.

"Why do you think so?"

Father asked for the reason.

Was it just my imagination?

Father's voice seemed to have lowered slightly.

The reason. He hadn't asked for a reason when I or Remi answered.

The smile Father had given us, as if he could guess the reason without us saying anything.

That smile was gone.

As if he truly wanted to know the reason, Father looked at Aris with a serious expression.

In this unfamiliar atmosphere, I just watched them silently.

And Aris, the subject of this attention—

"—Because, Daddy isn't strong and isn't smart!"

"Cough, cough, uh, Aris..?"

She spoke those sharp words with a bright smile.

Father, the king of the nation, wore a flustered expression that didn't suit his position and asked Aris again.

"I feel sorry for Mommy who married Daddy... Mommy is too kind..."

"That's my girl! I love you!"

"I love you too, Mommy!"

Hearing that, Mother clenched her fists and cheered for Aris. She said she should have rejected him when he gave her flowers, that he's a deadbeat except for his face and personality, and that she doesn't know why she ever liked him.

Mother promised to give Aris a snack later. Remi was happy as if it were her own reward.

Well, Aris's snacks mostly end up in Remi's hands anyway.

By the way, Mother... You seem to have bottled up a lot...

Everyone burst into laughter and cheered. Except for Father.

Father just looked at Mother with sad eyes. His trademark, according to Mother, sad deer-like eyes. She says she wants to tease him even more whenever she sees them.

"—But, Daddy is definitely a su~per greaaat king!"

Aris continued speaking amidst the cheerful atmosphere.

Unlike me, who hesitated to answer, she spoke confidently, as if she was sure of her answer.

Unlike me.

"Daddy definitely isn't strong, isn't smart, and gets scolded by Mommy all the time..."

"C-Could you please stop? I-It feels worse than before? Honey, doesn’t it hurt?"

"Be quiet, dear. Before I hit you in front of the child."

A wise ruler.

In front of us, Father was under Mother's thumb, but objectively, Marco Akaia, my father, was undoubtedly worthy of being called the current king.

Although there would be those who disagreed, of course.

A king loved by many citizens, a king I aspire to be like.

Why couldn't I recognize the answer that was right in front of me?

"Soldiers fight wars. Lords and nobles govern. Bakers bake, and carpenters build!"

".......Ari..s?"

I looked at Aris.

A simple statement, perhaps obvious from a four-year-old child.

But I couldn't shake the feeling that wisdom and knowledge beyond my comprehension were embedded in her words.

"—Then what should the king do?"

Before I knew it, I was asking Aris a question.

What was my tone like?

Was it desperate, or perhaps—

I don't remember well.

It was the pathetic struggle of Anna Akaia, who was turning ten next month, six years older than the four-year-old Aris.

"What should a king doㅡ when all they do is leave governing, politics, war, and diplomacy to others?"

"...Big sis Anna—?"

Remi called my name, as if sensing something strange about me. But her words didn't reach my ears.

I just wanted to know.

Hearing my question, Aris looked at me and smiled faintly.

And then Aris—

"They should stay by their side and watch to see if they're doing well."

As if teaching me, she began to explain the reason in a soft voice.

"And if they make a mistake, scold them and receive the punishment together."

"Saying, 'I'm sorry I couldn't guide you properly.'"

"Punishment is difficult to bear alone, but it's not so hard when you bear it together, right?"

"To share the responsibility together."

"I think that's, —kindness."

"......"

When I came to my senses, Father had left for work, and Remi and Aris had gone outside to play.

Even Mother had left, and I was alone in the room.

I just stared blankly at the ceiling.

I didn't know if Aris's answer was what Father wanted.

He didn't tell us.

But I was convinced.

That Aris was—

More suited to be a king than I am—

**

"My head... Hurts..."

It felt like a giant needle was piercing my brain.

Conflicting emotions were swirling and clashing within my heart.

Self-loathing, depression, regret, emotions that were of no help in life were pulling me down.

Jealousy, envy, greed, ugly emotions that were harming my body were pushing me from behind.

Where was I heading, I wondered.

Hell?

Ah, yes, that must be it.

Outside, where a harsh wind was blowing, Aris was persistently knocking on the door, showing no signs of leaving.

Continuously.

—Knock, knock.

Continuously.

—Knock, knock.

—Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock

"—Big sis Anna... Let's play together...!"

"...noying..." (TL Note: Annoying)

"I'm sorry...!"

"Sorry..."

"So—"

"Again...!"

—Bang.

"—Shut up!!!!"

I slammed my hand on the desk. My hand turned red instantly. The pain subsided and a burning sensation began to spread.

As soon as I slammed my hand down, the knocking sound from outside the door stopped.

An empty room, devoid of any sound.

I thought it was finally quiet, but then a guard hurriedly opened the door and entered.

Why, are, you, all, bothering, me..!

What, did I do wrong!!

"Princess... What's going on in the middle of the night..."

"It's nothing... Get out."

"Princess..."

"—I said get out!! Are you ignoring me!!?"

The guard just stared at me for a few seconds and then left without a word, closing the door.

The cold night air that entered through the gap as the door opened and closed brushed past my body.

"...My head hurts."

Staggering.

I clutched my throbbing head, held onto the desk, stood up, and headed for the bed.

.

Outside the door the guard had opened, no one was standing there.

Neither Aris nor Remi, who was always by her side, nor anyone else.

Yes, that's only natural.

—It was the middle of the night, when no one was supposed to be wandering around.

"It hurts... Help me..."

It felt like I was gradually turning into something unknown.

It hurts.

It's suffocating.

I'm exhausted.

Someone... help me.

"...Aris—"

Aris...

**

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