The Red Hand

Bluedog:

"Ya know it's been... *knocks on wood* reeeeeeal quiet lately.

Blackbox:

Too quiet.... Guys, I'm scared....

Bluedog:

Hold me!

Hishya:

The lack of impending doom is both nice and unsettling, I agree... Its not natural for things to be... peaceful.

Bluedog:

Did you finally slay Akagi? Is THAT why everything is so NORMAL?!? TELL US!

Hishya:

You and about ten billion other people wish that was the case... (Disclaimer for when Akagi reads this: I don't wish you dead! I love the kitty! Please don't kill me)

Bluedog:

Yeah! I never said I wish that. Nopers! I do not wish for the Demon Kitty Overlord to be defeated! I for one welcome our kitty overlord! Please don't kill me when you read this conversation Akagi.

Eris:

Lucky for you the cat is a bit busy at the moment, so I think your meager life will be spared.

Ayame:

For now.

Hishya:

Meh, it's not like she'd waste her time on an idiot like him anyway. The kitty wants to eat something more substantial.

Bluedog:

Hurray for being too insignificant to kill!

Blackbox:

@Bluedog Congrats.

Bluedog:

Mom always said I wasn't important, and HAH! Look how well that paid off, Mom! Who's laughing now?!? Not me I'm so lonely please someone love me.

Eris:

And this is why we disable DMs.

Hishya:

Literally, the first thing I did when I got back.

Bluedog:

But how can I slide into them when they're disabled?!? This isn't fair!

Eris:

Screenshot captured, sending to his girlfriend now.

Hishya:

Maybe she'll finally dump him this time?

Bluedog:

Good luck with that! I'm like a bad itch! You can never be rid of me! Muahahhaha!

Eris:

Can Mr. Bad Itch survive fire hot enough to melt tungsten?

Bluedog:

Probably not, please don't set me on fire, my Queen.

Eris:

I'm tempted to burn you for calling me Queen but I'll ignore that.

Ayame:

What's wrong Queen? Don't like being called that Queeny?

Eris:

You do recall that I'm right next to you, right?

Ayame:

I regret nothing!

Eris:

Brb, have to go commit domestic violence really quickly.

Ayame:

Help!

Bluedog:

They do say that same-sex couples have higher rates of that stuff. So sad to see that's really that case.

Hishya:

Is that even actually true? Then again, Kana abuses me all the time so maybe it is?

Mixu:

Hey, you're the one who fell in love with the Demon Lord's little sister, so you just gotta take them lumps as they come.

Hishya:

Yeah, because fuck me am I right? I attracted all kinds of problems and even fell in love with one.

Minazawa:

Poor baby. You're free to leave at any time if it's too much.

Hishya:

You and I both know that's not even an option if I wanted it. Looks at ankle monitor attached to me.

Minazawa:

Snickers

Blackbox:

@Hishya, where has Akagi even been these like uhh god has it been like two months? It feels like it.

Hishya:

Bringing this stupid story to a close.

Blackbox:

That literally gives me no insight...

Mixu:

She followed those Heroes back to their little Isekai world and has been stomping it to dust.

Bluedog:

WAIT A REAL FUCKING ISEKAI WORLD?!?

Hishya:

She literally explained that after they showed up and she beat them...

Bluedog:

Okay so not gonna lie I was fucking drunk when she made that little announcement and I thought it was something I dreamed up tbh.

Blackbox:

Is Akagi... Is she going all genocidal over there? Like no joke, is she actually just going nuts on that world?

Hishya:

Fuck if I know. She cackled when I talked to her about her plans. All I know is that she's cracking down on it hard and so far many have died and many more still will. Note I condemn all acts of mass slaughter even where warranted.

Mixu:

I think her lawyer told her to say that last part.

Bluedog:

RIP that fucking Isekai world, and RIP my dreams of becoming an Isekai protag.

Mixu:

We already have one of those, and Akagi already made the man spiral into massive depression, likely suicidal thoughts and probably self-hatred.

Bluedog:

Meh, he's got a harem so he'll get over it.

Hishya:

On one hand, I feel bad for him for being manipulated and then on the other, I remember he helped genocide an entire people, so...

Blackbox:

I can imagine it's cathartic for the Spirits to hear about this.

Hishya:

Mizumi is not exactly giddy about things but I know it does put a smile on her face to hear about the karma being inflicted on that world and the Heroes.

Kaori:

I know Mimi and the others who are still at the estate find it amusing if nothing else.

Hishya:

Akagi's followers are fucking psychotic, so it's not shocking they enjoy this whole thing.

Eris:

They aren't that bad.

Hishya:

They worship the fucking kitty Demon Lord and would straight up put humanity to the sword if given the orders. So yes they are. Even if we might get along with them don't go forgetting that they'd kill you and everyone else in this chat if Akagi gave them the command.

Eris:

….

Kaori:

While I can't say you're wrong I think you're simplifying things too much. Mimi and the others put loyalty to Akagi above all else but they're not mindless robots who don't have feelings or morals. I know for a fact Mimi, Yuzu, and Suzu wouldn't take the lives of innocent people, even if Akagi demanded it.

Hishya:

I'm fucking pushing X to doubt. They're fanatic zealots and even Akagi herself admits this on the regular.

Kaori:

Each of them was saved or taken in by Akagi. Most under extraordinary circumstances. It's understandable that they'd feel a level of devotion to her, and while I'm sure some would do as you say I'd again disagree that all of them would.

Ayame:

I have no real insight into anything other than the fact that the Ninja are particularly down bad with Akagi.

Eris:

Oh fuck yeah. They straight-up kill anyone ordered to. I have no doubt they'd happily follow Akagi's kill orders.

Hishya:

Yeah, they're the worst offenders. I don't even want to imagine the hell they're inflicting on the people of Enoris.

Mixu:

Well, they killed off the entire Mitsuhide family including children, so yeah they're definitely the fucking SS of this story.

Bluedog:

But do they like sand?

Hishya:

Go away with your stupid jokes.

Bluedog:

Hold on, let me find that GIF of that one scene with the younglings.

Hishya:

You're fucked in the head, man.

Blackbox:

Is it a good idea to be saying these things in the chat that said Akagi can freely see?

Hishya:

She knows how I feel about things, and she won't care what we say.

Superbia:

My advice is to just not think about the above and it makes everything better.

Eris:

Should the guard be texting while on duty?

Superbia:

Ain't like I got much else to do down here. I just listened to about sixteen hours of audiobooks that were in my backlog.

Hishya:

Maybe you should be I don't know... guarding?

Superbia:

There is literally nobody coming down here and even if they do I'll notice them wayyy ahead of time.

Hishya:

Famous last words. You do realize that if something happens down there and Akagi gets stuck on Enoris for a while or the clansmen over there are trapped it's not going to end well for you?

Superbia:

Yes, Mom...

Munechika:

It's fine, I'm making sure to watch over things when she's not paying attention.

Bluedog:

HOLY FUCK A GHOST!

Hishya:

When did you get added?

Munechika:

Just now ;)

Blackbox:

Kind of crazy to be talking to someone that died...

Hishya:

Munechika is far less crazy than Misha the girl who died, was revived, and became the high priestess of the kitty religion.

Munechika:

Technically I never really died since part of my soul was placed within my sword.

Bluedog:

Hold up, I gotta call someone

Hishya:

I'm going to refrain from completing your joke for you.

Bluedog:

The number is out of order anyway...

Hishya:

Okay, now that is an obscure reference. I'm pretty sure only Akagi and I would get it.

Superbia:

Also, call my sister a ghost one more time and I'll make you into one.

Bluedog:

So what you're telling me is that you'll turn me into a ghost so I can date your sister?!? Hot damn Superbia you're the best! I take back all those bad things I said about you!

Superbia:

I...

Mixu:

We can have Akagi just eat his soul. No soul, no ghost.

Hishya:

Can we ban him from the chat?

Blackbox:

But if we do that then 99% of the funny goes away.

Eris:

Hmmmmm.... A hard choice.

Bluedog:

Hahahaha! Bring forth your ban hammer! It has no power over me! Quake in fear of me, mortals!

Mixu:

I still have his address. Nobody will question everything if he doesn't show up to work tomorrow.

Bluedog:

I've got a deadman's switch. Kill me and find out what happens!

Hishya:

Maybe I should just get Akagi to make him into a compliant little pet like she did Black Company.

Eris:

That... That's a fate I wouldn't wish on anyone, even those idiots.

Ayame:

Yeah, it gave me the willies seeing them act with such reverence toward Akagi. It was really unnatural.

Hishya:

Still not as fucked as what she did to that Hero girl.

Mixu:

Yeaaaah... Implanting a sub personality is definitely high on the list of fucked up things Akagi has done. I got to see it in action a few times and it made my entire body get chills.

Hishya:

Do not anger the kitty lest ye be forced to worship it happily.