The Simulacrum

And here it was. Our time in the Elysium came to an end.

Not the spring break though, at least not yet, but many of us had work and official obligations to attend to, so we all agreed to return home today. It was for the better; a vacation was special because it was a novel experience that didn't overstay its welcome.

It was in the early afternoon that we all gathered at the Portalport (name still pending, but the one Judy gave it was already being used in common parlay, so it'll probably stick), luggage and all. The adults also packed a bunch of souvenirs. I could see some local wines in Dad-in-law's bag, the mother-group wore the laurel crowns we got during the spring fair on their heads, while Sahi had an entire backpack full of everything from bottles of olive oil to small Celestial magitech doodahs. And of course, we can't forget all the magic cards Penny and Ammy collected, because TCGs are serious business.

Overall, we made some lasting memories here and had the keepsakes to remember them by, so it was all good.

"Man…" Josh muttered by my side, clearly angling for my attention. When I gave it to him, he dramatically slouched his shoulders. "You know, if you told me that I would be missing Elysium when we first ended up here, I would've called you crazy."

"Hehe. It's good that you're starting to like it here!" Angie chimed in and unceremoniously nuzzled up to his side. "We're going to live here after we graduate."

"Do we have to?" Angie was puzzled by the question, so he clarified, "I mean, I like it here better than before, but that doesn't mean I want to permanently live here."

"I don't think we have a choice. I mean, I'm Deus, you know? I kinda have to be here to govern and stuff, once I know how to do that."

"Yeah, but Leo is Polemos, and he's still running the show from back home."

"But Leo's different. He has the Draconians and the Knights to take care of too."

"True, but…"

"Just do whatever you'd like," I interjected with an implied shrug. "We'll work it out somehow. Also, it's not like 'graduating' will happen tomorrow. Angie's talking about uni."

"Ah, right…"

Josh sounded like he just realized that, much to his childhood friend's amusement.

"I'll also miss the beach," Elly spoke up on my other side. She and Judy were engrossed in conversation until now, but she was clearly listening in. "It's the first time I could relax and just play at the shore without having to worry about Knights attacking us. Oh, and we could fly too, whenever we wanted! It was so nice while it lasted…"

"Don't be down, princess." I stepped up to her and pulled her into a hug. "Nothing's stopping us from making Elysium vacations into a regular thing. We can come here again next year."

"Unless the world ends by then," Judy commented on the side, and the childhood friend couple's ears perked up at once.

"The world ends?"/"What do you mean by that?"

"Judy's just being hyperbolic," I told them before it could lead to a misunderstanding.

My dear assistant extended a hand, with her thumb and index fingers a few centimeters apart.

"A little hyperbolic."

"That's still not very reassuring," Josh grumbled, but then the conversation thankfully moved on when Penny and Snowy joined our group.

"Look, Brother! We've got a rare Black Typhoon card!"

She showed off her bounty with a toothy grin, featuring some abstract artwork and a whole lot of text. I never realized, but for some reason all card descriptions were written using both normal letters and Celestial Script. How thoughtful of whoever made these.

Anyhow, I had absolutely no idea why that card was impressive, from where she 'got' it, or why it was 'rare', but I wasn't going to rain on my sister's parade.

"Congrats, Kiddo."

"He-he! Now, if only I could convince Amelia to trade her Blazing Prometheus with me, my deck will be complete!"

"Good for you."

"When are we heading out?" Snowy inquired as soon as there was a lull in the conversation.

That was a good question, so I glanced over at the nearby field where a portal technician was already hard at work musicing the means of our trip back home into existence. It was only a swirling mass of indeterminate shape right now, but if I had to spitball it based on the gut feeling I had whenever I looked at one of these portals-in-the-making, I would've said it was about ten minutes away from opening.

It was best to err on the side of caution, so I told her, "About a quarter of an hour. Why?"

"I need to use the restroom…" she admitted, sounding a touch sheepish.

Judy pointed at the large building at the side of the construction zone.

"Use the ones in the cultural exchange center."

"I'll come with you!" Penny proposed, and my sisters soon skipped away, once again making me wonder why girls always went to the bathroom in pairs. It probably had a practical reason for it, but for the love of me, I couldn't think of one.

Musings about the great mysteries of life, the universe, and everything aside, since the portal would open soon, I glanced around to make sure everyone was ready. On one side, Mensah was animatedly discussing something with the Assembly group. Lord Barnabas and Pascal were listening carefully to whatever new business venture he was trying to sell them, while Ammy and Mike were hugging and whispering sweet nothings to each other a bit further away, acting like the one of them was about to join the army and get shipped overseas or something.

As for Sahi, she stuck out of the group like a sore thumb. She had been evidently playing way too hard over the past couple of days, because at the moment she was floating in the air, held up by two of her oversized summoned hands acting as a makeshift lounge chair and taking a nap like it was the most natural thing in the world. Or was she? It was hard to tell from here, but if she was sleeping for real, then how was she maintaining her magic hands? Maybe they were autonomous. I never asked her about them, and to be honest, I didn't care enough to do it now either.

Moving on, the parent group was currently in the company of Tsephanyah.

"… and this is a speciality product from the southern lands of Elysium, made of fragrant local wood and…"

Or rather, he was in the process of bribing them under the guise of 'farewell gifts'. The menfolk already had a whole set of fishing gear and accessories given to them, and now it was the women's turn to receive their souvenirs, traditional beauty products, and other assorted baubles. He was clearly doing his best to solidify the good impression he made on the group, and as much as I found his constant flattery annoying, I had to respect his hustle.

"On a ten-point scale, I give this vacation a nine," Judy stated out of the blue, making my other girlfriend look at her funny.

"Only nine?"

"I'm deducing one point for Savir," she stated blandly, and Elly let out a soft 'Oh' in response.

"Yeah, that makes sense." For a while, it seemed like this was the end of the topic, but then she abruptly raised her brows and glanced around, as if just realizing something. "Now that you mention it, I thought she would also be here."

"Maybe she's occupied elsewhere," I mused aloud, trying to keep my facial muscles in check.

"Maybe, but… both you and Angie are going home, right? Wouldn't it be important for her to say goodbye, like the others?"

"Must be very busy," Judy insisted with a firm nod, but Elly wasn't buying it.

"Now that I think about it… I haven't seen her since last morning either. Just where did she go?"

"Probably some kind of emergency."

"The type where only she's needed," Judy backed me up.

"A religious kind of emergency?" I jested.

"Definitely," she agreed with her poker face fully intact.

Despite our perfect acting, the princess was getting more suspicious by the second.

"You two know something. What did you do to her?" When neither of us responded, she thought long and hard about it, and then blurted out, "Don't tell me… Is she still buried in the sand on the shore?"

"Maaaybe?" I cooed, but she remained completely flabbergasted. A bit outraged, even.

"Leo! That's mean!"

"She deserved it," Judy stated emphatically, but my other girlfriend had none of it.

"But she's been there since last morning! She must be so thirsty, and hungry, and… she probably needs to go to the toilet too!"

Judy and I shared a glance, and after a long beat, she said, "In retrospect, maybe it was a little mean."

"Oh, fine," I grumbled and glanced around. "I'll go tell someone to dig her out after we've left, and… Ah, perfect! Jaakobah!"

I raised a hand over my head to signal to the phlegmatic man standing at the edge of the site, stoically discussing something with the building crew there. While the Portalport made some visible progress during the time we'd been here, it was still very much a work in progress, and so the Celestials in charge of the construction were waiting on the sidelines for us to leave so that they could resume their jobs.

Seeing my signal, he dismissed the group and made his way over to my side. To my surprise, I found that he was shadowed by two familiar faces.

"Lord Archon?" Jaakobah looked at me expectantly, waiting for my order, so for the moment I prioritized that.

"After we leave the Elysium, go back to the beach and grab the shovels. About twenty meters in front of the leftmost bungalow, look for Savir and dig her up. If the disguise Sigils around her still haven't run out of juice and you can't find her, just sweep the ground carefully until you hit something the size of a watermelon. That's her."

"W-Wow… You even had Snowy put Sigils around her…" Elly muttered in shock. "That's… super mean. Remind me not to get on your bad sides."

"Don't be silly," Judy soothed her by tapping on her back. "We only bury people we don't like, right, Chief?"

"Right, Dormouse."

To his credit, the man didn't even bat an eye at my weird request and just saluted. I had to admit, recruiting Jaakobah was one of the better ad-hoc decisions I'd ever made. His combination of earnestness, dependability, and flexibility was a rare find in the Elysium. Now, moving on to the other thing…

"And what about you two?" I asked looking at the Celestial children behind him, and the two of them tried their best to imitate his salute.

"We are here to learn how to be good soldiers, O Lord Archon!" Kóre, the girl, declared enthusiastically.

"Y-Yes! We're following the Prefect's example!" Pais added, sounding a little less sure.

Seeing them trying their best, Jaakobah exhaled a shallow breath and told me, "Since I promised the Lord Archon that I would ensure that they would be ready and able to fulfil their duties as your heralds…" He paused and corrected himself. "Chief Reminders. I have already contacted the orphanage and arranged for their transfer as trainees in the Praetorian Guard."

"So… you're looking after them," I concluded, and he nodded along without an ounce of hesitation.

I was just about to smile and wish them good luck, but I was beaten to the punch by a certain Knightly sister of mine rushing in and nearly tackling the two kids off their feet.

"Kóre! Pais! You made it!"

"Big Sis Penny!" the girl exclaimed and hugged her back, while the boy was trying his best not to get sandwiched between the two of them.

"I'll miss you sooo much!"

"W-We too!" Pais sniffled, and before long, they were all on the verge of bawling their eyes out.

"You see, Chief? I told you we should've adopted them."

"Still no," I said flatly, and seeing that Snowy also returned in the wake of my other sister's rush, I raised my voice to get everyone's attention. "Heads up! Grab your bags and say your farewells, because the portal is opening right abooout…" I drew out the last syllable for a few seconds, and as soon as I saw a change in the amorphous magical disk, I called out, "Now!"

On cue, a small hole appeared in front of the portal technician with a soft crackling sound and it rapidly expanded until it was big enough that we could comfortably walk through side-by-side.

"I still don't understand how you can tell when these things are opening so precisely." Glancing over, I found a slightly grumpy Ammy still holding hands with Mike. "How do you do it?"

"It's hard to explain. Think of it as a talent."

She left it at that. My sisters said their goodbyes to the kids, the adults accepted the last of the 'gifts', and we all gathered around the portal to march right through. I purposefully lagged behind with the girls, and I turned around to behold the blue sky of the Elysium one last time. While I didn't voice it at the time, I was actually on the same page with Josh; this short vacation had me develop a soft spot for this place in a way that my extended stay in the past couldn't manage. Heading home now felt… strangely bittersweet.

As if waiting for this opportunity, the two ex-directors sidled up to us, looking as solemn and dignified as I'd ever seen them. That is to say, they were extremely suspicious.

"Is there something we forgot about?"

I tried not to sound too defensive when addressing them. Tsephanyah appeared blissfully unaware of my suspicions and cracked a smile.

"Nothing of the sort, Lord Polemos. It's just that, before you leave, we would be honored if you accepted the paltry gifts we prepared for the occasion."

"… You're overdoing it," I stated flatly, but he took no offence and made a gesture with his hand. It was obviously a signal, because a moment later a pair of Celestials descended from the sky, carrying two boxes.

"I have been informed that you showed profound interest in the craft of the entertainers at the kheimónthéra, so I took the initiative to prepare some souvenirs to remember the occasion."

The ex-director wriggled his finger, and the first man stepped forth, fell to one knee, and presented the box. He fluffed the lid open, and… Seriously?

"Oh? Wasn't this what the jugglers used during the fair?" Elly exclaimed with glee as she studied the various balls, pins, rings, and other juggling tools embedded in the velvet padding of the box.

"It's a very… thoughtful gift…" I muttered, my mouth operating on autopilot while my mind was already racing.

I had paid attention to the jugglers back at the fair in the village because it reminded me that Bel, aka future-me, was juggling the Grimoire Key boxes. Because of that, I got lost in thought, once again wondering if I would need to learn the technique to maintain the space-time continuum. However, it seemed like someone picked up on that and misunderstood my actions, reported them to Tsephanyah, and he prepared this gift for me, but… Does that mean that future-me learned how to juggle because of this?

But if I didn't see future-me do it, I wouldn't have been stumped at the fair, and Tsephanyah wouldn't have misunderstood, so… was this another infinitely regressing time-loop paradox? Or I would've learned juggling for a completely unrelated reason in that theoretical bootstrap timeline? Or maybe I'm just overthinking this, and in the future, I will purposefully set myself up for this through the retcon just so that I would be able to juggle the Keys as Bel? That last bit sounded like something I would do, but…

"More importantly!" Mensah cut in with a harrumph and gestured for the other box-holder to step forth. "Instead of relying on second-hand information and guesswork, I have meticulously analyzed the Lord Archon's interests and preferences during his stay in Migdál Glaukós, and after collating all the data, I have prepared a fitting memento!"

As if on cue, the second placeholder Celestial also fell on one knee, mirroring his comrade, and presented a second box. Mensah flipped it open, and revealed a…

"Oh? That's curious," Judy blurted out in surprise, and I was right there with her.

In the box, embedded in the same kind of velvety material, was one of the small magitech roombas I'd seen in the tower, except its chassis was gilded with silver and gold and polished to a mirror finish. I mean, I said I would like to take one home during my early visits to Elysium, but after being 'revealed' as Polemos, I never paid much attention to them anymore, because I had so many other things to worry about. Just how in the nine layers of hell did Mensah connect the dots and…

"No, never mind. I don't care." I grabbed both boxes and put them under my arms. "Thank you for the thoughtful gifts, but since everyone else already left, it's high time I follow after them. Have a nice day, and I'll see you in the foreseeable future."

With that, I turned on my heels and waited until the girls also said their polite goodbyes. At last, we stepped through the portal and we were back in the main hall of the underground base. It was only then that I heaved a sigh of relief.

"I hate dealing with those guys."

Elly looked at me as if just said something strange. She never had a chance to voice her opinion on the matter, since we were greeted by familiar faces.

"Kihihi! Welcome home, boss! I have some—"

"Great timing!" I pushed past my in-laws, and before Fred could even finish his line, I handed one of the boxes to him, and the other to the androidess standing by his side. "Could you please give these a look and check for any magical tampering or surveillance? Just to be safe."

"Hello, Grandmaster. We're also happy to see you. Why, thank you for asking about our well-being, you're so nice," Galatea rattled off in a monotone voice, stopping me in my tracks.

"Right, sorry. I was a bit caught up in the moment. Hello Fred, Galatea. We're back. How have you been?"

"Eh, fine," the resident chief mad scientist shrugged and peeked into his box. "What's in these anywaaaay? Oooh?" His eyes gleamed with interest the moment he saw the small magitech cleaner inside. "What's that? Some kind of tiny robot? How peculiar!"

"What master is trying to say is that we'll inspect these items. Please come by later, after you unpacked, and we'll also share our progress report."

"That would be great, thank you."

Feeling a bit sheepish, I turned to the rest of the group. Some, like Barnabas, Sahi, and Pascal were ready to leave. Others, like Arnwald and Morgana, were already by the training grounds and discussing something with Agrawain and Brang. Everyone was busy, and on second thought, so was I, so I turned to my girlfriends next.

"All right, girls. I'll go home first and check if everything's fine. If there's something urgent, I'll call you. If not, see you both tomorrow."

"Okay!"

Elly hopped over to my side and presented her lips, so I gave her a peck on them. Judy received the same treatment, and with that, I headed for the teleport closet in the reception room. In retrospect, we parted ways quite casually, without any of the usual reluctance and extra hugs and kisses… but then on second thought, we've spent so much time together over the past week, maybe we were all welcoming some alone time to wind down.

I stepped into the small closet while pondering on the push-and-pull of relationships and then immediately Phased into another small closet, only to throw the door open.

"Hi, kids! I'm home!"

"Eeep!"

While my goal was to surprise the house-sitters, I didn't expect that Tajana would literally fall off the couch in fright. That was a new one.

"Leonard." Roland greeted me from the side of the window. He was clearly expecting us to return 'normally', and kept an eye on the driveway. After a brief pause, he walked over and nodded with a flat, "Welcome home."

On closer look, his hair seemed to be a bit damp, and his shirt and trousers both looked like they came right out of the wardrobe, creases and everything.

"Were there any noteworthy developments while we were away?"

"There have been some minor official blunders that may require your attention, but as for big developments…" Roland unsubtly glanced at the couch, and let out a soft breath. "There's something you might want to know about."

"Oh?" I looked at him, and then at the woman hiding behind the back-rest. "That's surprising. I thought you wanted to keep it a secret. I didn't think you would try to come clean the moment I came home."

"W-W-What do you mean?" the hapless spymaster stammered, flopping around like a fish on the chopping board. "T-T-There's nothing going on between us, right, Roland?"

Sir Roland promptly buried his face in his palm and muttered, "Please, give us a moment."

I gestured for him to go ahead, mainly because this was just hilariously awkward. He walked over, grabbed Tajana's hand, and pulled her into the kitchen. After a few minutes of barely audible hushed arguments, on which I purposefully didn't listen in just so that I could have an authentic reaction to whatever they cooked up, the two of them returned to the living room. They looked noticeably flushed and maybe even a little haggard.

"I don't know what you know, but I want to be clear on this: What happened between us is something that only concerns us," Roland emphasized in a sombre voice.

"Right! It's our business!" Tajana backed him up, and this time she didn't even stammer.

"What we have is an adult relationship that's entirely physical in nature, and as such, I want to assure you that it won't affect my duties or allegiances."

"Yes! What happened last night won't affect anything!"

"Indeed. As such, I…"

"Wait, hold your horses!" I cut him off with an extended palm and raised a brow at the woman. "Last night? You did it again last night? What are you, teenagers in heat?" Tayana shrunk back, as if she wanted to disappear into the ground, while Roland was the exact opposite, standing tall and glaring at me. I didn't want to get into an argument over something so dumb, so I let my palm down and started massaging my temple instead. "You know what? Fine. Your relationship is your business and I won't get involved. Don't ask, don't tell."

"There's no relationship," Roland denied in a hurry.

"That's right! We're not in a relationship at all!"

"It was just a… moment of weakness."

"Four moments of weakness."

Roland rolled his eyes.@@novelbin@@

"Would you please stay silent? Leonard doesn't need to know about that!"

"I'm just trying to help and clear up the misunderstanding!" Tajana argued back, her voice sounding sulkier by the second. "It's your fault, anyway! You started it!"

"I started it? Nothing would've happened if you didn't throw yourself at me back then!"

"I didn't throw myself at you! Who would even want to do that to a… to a beast like you!"

"A crybaby who's afraid of the sound of thunder," Roland argued back with a profound lack of passion.

"How dare you! Are you implying I would've clung to anyone just because I was afraid?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"No! I have standards!"

"Then why did you—?"

"Okay, that's about enough!" I raised my voice and cut between the two of them. "Bloody hell! How do you possibly have this much UST after you've already…?" I sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled hard. "You know what? Never mind. I don't care. Sort it out between yourselves, preferably when I'm not in the vicinity." With that issue bottled up right then and there, I looked Roland in the eye. "So, if the important development wasn't about this totally just physicalnon-relationship you two have now, then what is it?"

Sir Griffon loudly cleared his throat and followed my lead, pretending that the previous conversation never happened.

"Yesterday afternoon, due to a recent request addressed to the Draconic Federation, I accompanied Tajana in town." I really, really wanted to ask if they seriously went on a date as well while I wasn't looking, but I stuffed the urge down and twirled my finger to have him continue. "We visited several Abyssals informants in Timaeus, as well as common drop-points for clandestine correspondence, and we've learned that one of the Abyssal houses was trying to reach out to you for the better part of the week."

"To me in particular?" I asked, and it was Tajana who nodded.

"Yes. The survivors of House Ashur want to offer money, intelligence, and political support in exchange for asylum." She sounded mildly perplexed and took a big gulp before continuing. "This is an… unprecedented situation. No Abyssal house has ever opened diplomatic channels with Celestials."

"They're also hedging their bets," Roland noted with a dissatisfied frown. "They simultaneously reached out to the Draconic Federation, though in much less concrete terms, but since your approval would be required either way, I believe they're just testing the waters."

"I-In any case, I advise caution!" the young spymaster said something reasonable for the first time in a while and crossed her arms defensively. "House Ashur was functionally destroyed by My Liege and the forces of House Inanna. They must be aided by someone in the shadows. My instincts tell me it's the Nergals, and if I'm right, accepting their deal would be as good as joining the civil war on their side!"

"Well, it wasn't like I was going to join it on Crowy's side," I joked, but nobody laughed. Shaking my head I thought about it for a moment and finally yielded to the inevitable. "Can you contact them?"

"Through the drop-points, yes," Tajana responded warily.

"Good. Tomorrow, go out and have another… tour around the city, and message them that I'm willing to hear them out."

"Is that wise?"

Roland sounded eminently skeptical of the idea, but I just shrugged.

"Wise or not, it doesn't matter. Bel's involved."

Hearing that, he soon put two and two together, and let out a groan that was simultaneously resigned and exasperated. I shared his feelings, and I would've really preferred if there was at least some buffer between our beach episode and the Abyssal civil war elbowing its way into our lives, but what could I say?

"Some things are simply unavoidable."