Turning

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Chapter 787

‘What is this?’

That voice, what did it mean?

‘Have I ever had such a thought? I don't recall…’

Yuder, amidst his confusion, furrowed his brow and shook his head. Every attempt to grasp the fleeting sensation resulted in a headache that throbbed like an illusion, accompanied by a faint dizziness that came and went.

Pressing his temples, Yuder tried to hold onto its end, but then,

"Why so troubled?"

Startled back to reality by Enon's worried voice gripping his shoulder, the strange sensation he was feeling plunged into the depths like a stone in water, disappearing.

"What was that?"

Yuder bit his lip tightly and removed his hand from his head, where the headache had vanished.

The strange sensation had surged up naturally the moment he heard Enon's question.

The question about why he had strived so hard when no one had asked him to save the world.

Yes. There was no such person. Obviously not, but... What was that odd thought that had naturally seeped out of his subconscious?

"Did something unspeakable come to your mind? What was it?"

"...No, it wasn't that."

Seeing Yuder's silence as both frustrating and worrying, Enon asked earnestly.

Yuder shook his head and began to describe the strange experience he had just felt. His explanation was rough, given the briefness of the experience and his own difficulty in articulating it, but Enon listened seriously.

"Hmm... Have you felt this before?"

"Not exactly the same, but I've had similar experiences occasionally since I returned."

"What kind of experiences?"

Yuder hesitated before speaking.

"Sometimes, things I didn't remember... or rather, didn't even realize I had forgotten, suddenly resurfaced. It felt like... filling a hole I didn't know was empty."

"...A hole?"

Yuder had many such holes within him, unknown even to himself. They would sometimes unexpectedly fill, bringing with them forgotten memories and fragments of emotions.

The holes were not just a metaphor. Mick Shuden, who claimed to see the essence of a person's inner self, once told Yuder, "You have many holes. So many empty spaces that they're uncountable." ℟𝘼Ν𝔬ＢЁš

The frequency of these sensations had decreased recently, but the fact that it happened again while talking to Enon meant it hadn't completely gone away.

Enon's brows deepened with concern as he listened to Yuder. This seemed to trouble him more than the stories of the past life. He looked into Yuder's eyes, scrutinizing him for a long while before finally speaking.

"I can't fully grasp this 'hole' concept. But I have a theory. Your soul was a mess but began to heal, and that seems related to it."

After saying this, Enon elaborated in a way he had never done before.

"A messed-up soul means two things. One, having suffered wounds or shocks so severe that they damage your very essence. And the other, a weak bond between the body and soul."

"..."

"Elpkins and others I've seen were the former. But you, you're both. That's why you're in worse shape. Understand? I thought things had improved a lot recently, but when I looked again, I saw that the bond was loose again. I don't know what you did, but..."

"...The bond has loosened?"

"Yes! In your natural state, maintaining sanity and walking straight would be difficult!"@@novelbin@@

Enon had mostly spoken of Yuder's soul improving when he had deep connections and contact with Kishiar. Since leaving the capital and arriving here, their relationship had deepened, not lessened, yet Yuder's condition seemed to have worsened.

'Why is that?'

Yuder, letting Enon's ongoing nagging go in one ear and out the other, opened his mouth to speak.

"I understand the first part. But what's the downside of having a weak bond?"

At this, Enon finally calmed down. Pondering for a moment, he then provided an explanation.

"Hmm... To my non-human eyes, every living being appears as a combination of a physical existence and the energy that forms their essence, their soul. If the bond between these two weakens, it wouldn't be strange for one of them to scatter at any moment. And if it completely breaks?"

"...Death?"

"Yes."

His lemon-colored eyes became cold and emotionless.

"A very painful death."

"But I never felt particularly bad."

"That's because you're an anomaly!"

Yelling out, Enon then sighed.

"From what I've observed, you inherently feel less pain than others, and your ability to feel pain seems broken beyond repair. When pain becomes too overwhelming, the mind can erase that part entirely. With soul damage that severe, it's possible."

Enon kindly explained that many of the back-alley lives he had seen were like this. Those accustomed to extreme pain from a young age might later perceive that pain as pleasure, or become emotionally castrated, unable to feel it at all.

Yuder felt uneasy considering he might be one of them, but reflecting on his experiences, it didn't seem surprising.

'Still, it's unsettling. If soul damage is such a serious issue, it could suddenly hinder future endeavors...'

As Yuder silently gazed down at himself, Enon ruffled his hair roughly.

"It's hard to notice since it's not a visible pain. I don't expect you to suddenly become cautious and convalesce. But as long as you don't forget about it, you'll be fine. Anyway, I'm here with you now, and so is the Commander."

His voice was brusque, his touch rough, but the warmth felt from them was more comforting than anything. It was so like Enon.

Yuder, with his hair tousled, looked at Enon's unevenly pursed lips and slightly raised the corners of his own.

"…Understood. Thank you."

"Ugh, why do I bother with such a dark creature?"

Despite his words, Enon continued to stroke Yuder's hair a few more times before pulling away.

"But about those holes inside you, did you notice any commonality in what filled them?"

"A commonality?"

"Think about it. You might uncover something unexpected."

"Well..."

Yuder, lost in thought, suddenly spoke.

"…The Commander?"

"Huh?"

"Now that I think about it, most of them... seemed related to memories and emotions associated with the Commander."

The moment he spoke, Yuder's head began to throb slightly, and something he had unconsciously overlooked seemed to shed a thin veil, revealing itself layer by layer.

'It's like the dream. Initially, it was the memory of the day I killed Kishiar.'

Why hadn't he taken this seriously until now? He knew it intellectually, but he had been so focused on the newly surfaced memories and emotions that he had naturally glossed over the rest.

Yuder continued to rub his head in bewilderment, immersed in thought, then suddenly considered that the reason for the weakening of his soul's bond might be found in these very revelations.

'If everything I had forgotten is connected to Kishiar, then the most fundamentally shaking event since leaving the capital would be... that.'

"...White gloves."

Hearing the words slip through his lips, Enon blinked and asked in confusion.

"What gloves? What are you talking about all of a sudden?"

"I had a strange nightmare a few days ago. The Commander from my past life, or rather, just his hands, appeared and tried to touch me, attempting some unidentifiable communication."

"Only the hands appeared? Ew, what kind of bizarre dream is that?"

Enon recoiled as if the hand from the dream might materialize right there. Yuder briefly explained the dream's content and then turned his gaze toward the window.

It was precisely the spot where the strange crack had appeared before.

"At first, I thought it was just an unsettling dream. But after talking to the Commander, I realized that the day I had that dream was precisely when the crack appeared in this southern branch."

"So... that anomaly might be related to the dream?"

"That, and maybe the dream affected the state of my soul, making it worse."

The dream had been somewhat peculiar. Unlike before, it wasn't reviving forgotten memories, but it felt as if something real had visited in the dream. If a disembodied hand could manifest such clear intent, how was that different from a ghost?

Yuder, after explaining his observations, asked,

"...What do you think?"

"Well... It's hard to say for sure right now, but it seems possible."

Enon didn't dismiss the speculation outright.

"If I could see this crack with my own eyes, things might become clearer..."

"That... I hope not, but it might be possible soon."

"What?"

Enon furrowed his brow in confusion.

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Read up to the latest chapter (1225) and more than 1000 chapters of BL novels here

[BL] Cloudless Sky

Jin Soram, the top-ranked hunter representing South Korea's Rift Phenomenon Management Headquarters, is stronger than anyone else and lazier than anyone else. As soon as he arrives at the office, he buries himself under a blanket and falls asleep. When he goes out on a mission, he causes accidents and returns to the office, often shirking his duties.

"Do you know how it feels to play a game that's already messed up? ...Anyway, the next round will come, so this time, I'm just going to play it recklessly."

In fact, his true identity is someone who has regressed through three lives, trying to save the world from the Great Rift but failing each time. After repeating a life where he couldn't sleep peacefully even for a day, he became completely exhausted before this life even began.

"I know. You worked hard, Jin Soram."

And then there's Han Tae-un, the man who saved Soram and died in all three previous lives. As he did in every life, he comes to Soram's side once again. The Great Rift is approaching soon. It's impossible to resolve it in this life without any preparation. Soram vows to save Tae-un in this life and die himself. At least, he won't let Tae-un save a failure like himself again.

"For now, until then, let's sleep..."

As Soram sluggishly lives his life waiting for that moment, a gradual change occurs in his heart.

'I thought this was a messed-up round... but I want to live a little longer here.'

[BL] Bermuda

Leonardo Blaine, the true war hero of the Raina Logia Empire and the commander of the Armsilver 11th Squad, is dishonorably discharged for disobeying orders during the final battle that could have led the Empire to victory in the territorial war. People criticize and point fingers at him, and after being released on parole from prison, he disappears without a trace.

Three years later, his name has been forgotten by the world. The Council has been persistently pursuing him, but he has proven difficult to capture. Frustrated by this, Hugo Agrizendro, the commander of the Council's army, decides to personally apprehend him.

"Since when have you been watching me?"

Leonardo was calculative and astute, so it wouldn't be surprising if he had been observing Hugo for some time now. However, Leonardo's answer was something that even Hugo had not anticipated.

"From the very beginning."

[BL] The Mist (Same author as Turning)

In the autumn of his 18th year, after winning the high school kendo championship finals, an unexpected accident occurred.

Due to that incident, Kang Mu-heon lost one of his legs, his closest friend, and his promising future. He closed off his heart and shut himself away alone.

A few years later, the world's first real virtual reality game <THE MIST> was announced, where even those with physical disabilities could play in healthy bodies.

By chance, Kang Mu-heon encountered it and began a new life as the mage Kapros, facing unexpected meetings, reunions, and days of change....

***

"Why was someone like you born into this world to make me so miserable? Do you understand when I say it like this?! You were born with talent for the sword, a bright personality, everything - you must have been laughing at me always lagging behind! Did you even know how pathetic I felt because of your stupid hypocrisy? A genius? What does any of that matter!"

Seung-jo's cries stabbed at his heart, wailing as if he were crying even though he wasn't, but there was no time to think further. He quickly clutched my stomach, got up, and ran towards him.

He looked surprised for a moment, but he was desperate.

Just as the car was about to reach us, he shoved Seung-jo hard. Right after Seung-jo fell and rolled away with wide, startled eyes—

Screech!

Bang! With an impact that felt like his whole body was being shattered, he flew through the air.

And in that brief yet long moment of floating in space, he remembered his reflection in Seung-jo's eyes for the last time.......

***

[ Then in THE MIST, may you become the master of infinite possibilities. ]

Whoosh!

When his vision returned after everything went white, he was standing in the middle of a bustling town. Amidst the clamor, countless people were busily going about their business here and there.

He looked down at himself, standing dazed and wearing clothes of unknown origin. When he touched the sleeve, he felt the texture of fabric as real as reality. His hair felt the same, and even when he touched the wall of a nearby house, he could clearly feel the solid, cold surface.

Is this... VT?

It seemed like a joke. It truly felt as if he had come to another world and was touching everything.

As he stood there unable to think due to the shock, he suddenly remembered the biggest reason he had decided to play this game, and snapped back to attention. His two legs were still as they had been when he first stood.

'Can I really walk?'

He first stepped out with his left foot, then very slowly put strength into his heavy right foot. It felt like cold sweat was running down his spine.

And then,

He lifted it,

Moved it,

And took another step to touch the ground again.

So easily. As if there had never been any problem with this leg from the beginning.

"Ah..."

At that moment, something that was neither joy nor emotion shot up his spine. Suddenly feeling a lump in his throat, he lowered his head and leaned against the wall. His right foot, bearing his weight, was doing its job perfectly.

"..."

Holding back the tightness in his throat, he took another step.

It didn't hurt. It wasn't heavy. His leg was no longer a useless piece of wood that ached.

Damn it, to be able to walk so easily like this.

To be able to run so easily like this.

He had wished even in his dreams for the day to come when he could walk and run like this again.

And so he walked again, kept walking, slowly getting faster, until finally he started running like a madman through the entire town.

***

"Kap. ...There seems to be a misunderstanding. That's not what I meant."

Just as he was thinking he should throw a punch, Yu-wan sighed with a troubled look and said.

A misunderstanding? How could it be a misunderstanding when he said with his own mouth that he didn't think of me as a friend?

"I didn't expect to receive such a question suddenly, so my explanation was probably too brief. Let me rephrase."

Yu-wan reached out his hand, his face completely changed from before - intense yet resolute - as he stared at him. As he didn't reject the hand suddenly approaching his face and kept his gaze fixed, his cool large hand touched his cheek completely.

A shiver ran down his spine at that moment.

"I'm sorry to say this to you, but I don't see you only as a friend. ...This is the complete answer."

Check out the new project 2:

[BL] Cloudless Sky

Jin Soram, the top-ranked hunter representing South Korea's Rift Phenomenon Management Headquarters, is stronger than anyone else and lazier than anyone else. As soon as he arrives at the office, he buries himself under a blanket and falls asleep. When he goes out on a mission, he causes accidents and returns to the office, often shirking his duties.

"Do you know how it feels to play a game that's already messed up? ...Anyway, the next round will come, so this time, I'm just going to play it recklessly."

In fact, his true identity is someone who has regressed through three lives, trying to save the world from the Great Rift but failing each time. After repeating a life where he couldn't sleep peacefully even for a day, he became completely exhausted before this life even began.

"I know. You worked hard, Jin Soram."

And then there's Han Tae-un, the man who saved Soram and died in all three previous lives. As he did in every life, he comes to Soram's side once again. The Great Rift is approaching soon. It's impossible to resolve it in this life without any preparation. Soram vows to save Tae-un in this life and die himself. At least, he won't let Tae-un save a failure like himself again.

"For now, until then, let's sleep..."

As Soram sluggishly lives his life waiting for that moment, a gradual change occurs in his heart.

'I thought this was a messed-up round... but I want to live a little longer here.'