Turning

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Chapter 798

Even after their intimacy subsided, the heat did not fade. And thanks to that warmth, Yuder finally managed to smoothly articulate the thoughts that had been brewing inside him.

"I met Hosanna earlier, as he wished to see me. He requested Nahan's salvation. I thought it wise to use this opportunity to learn about their past from him, and finally uncovered the brainwashing Nahan had been subjected to by the sage."

"What kind of brainwashing was it?"

"To dedicate oneself completely to the Star of Nagran."

Kishiar did not seem surprised.

"The loyalty to a group and to a person might seem similar, but are ultimately different stories. It appears the sage of that time either failed to understand this distinction, or was so desperate that he thought it was the best course of action, even knowing the difference."

"Yes. The sage had Nahan name the group before making this request, with Kanna suggesting that the act of naming played a key role in the effectiveness of the brainwashing," Yuder said, pausing briefly.

"That's possible. Have you never named anything?"

"No."

Kanna had said that the name carries the hopes and intentions of the one who bestows it. That a simple name could embody more than just responsibility, but deeper emotions.

Perhaps it was this revelation that had so profoundly shaken Yuder, to the point of haunting him through nightmares.

Yuder, feeling Kishiar's breath tickle his neck, slowly began to speak again.

"When I heard that, I thought of the name I was given."

Now, he remembered not his birth name, Yuder, but rather the second name, Yudrain, that first came to mind.

"I wondered if there were also hopes placed in that name. It's strange. I've never been curious about it before."

He had never even sought to understand the full meaning of his name, let alone the intention behind it, until the moment of his death.

This seemingly trivial and unanswerable thought had quietly yet profoundly shaken Yuder. He couldn't explain why he had reacted so strongly, but it was the truth.

"I think that thought might have been the reason I suddenly felt so exhausted and had that nightmare. But I don't think it will happen again."

The one who had named him Yudrain in a previous life was Kishiar in the previous life. Ordinarily, Yuder would have chosen not to speak of this matter to Kishiar.

However, Yuder now understood how much concern Kishiar felt when he was acting strangely, having learned from past experiences. Yuder knew that Kishiar's desperation to connect with his dreams was indicative of a much greater concern than what was apparent. Therefore, he wanted to share this much for the one who had rescued him from that dream.

Indeed, Kishiar's caressing touch ceased momentarily, and a slightly different silence ensued.

Then, the man spoke softly.

"I see."

"Yes."

"And now that you're awake, do you still not wish to know the answer? Are you still not curious?"

Yuder, gazing at the burning fireplace, replied.

"That's something whose answer will always remain unknown. I think it's pointless to dwell on it further."

"So, you still wish to know," he deduced, picking up on the subtle meaning hidden in Yuder's silence. The man chuckled as he kissed Yuder's shoulder, his laughter subsiding into a low voice.

"Believing that mere thought will prevent anything from happening is more a hope than a realistic solution. Sometimes, it's better to seek even an unclear answer than to suppress and ignore a nagging issue."

"An unclear answer, you say..."

"Like my thoughts, for example."

Yuder's intended response halted abruptly at the man's unobstructed flow of words.

The man continued, gently stroking Yuder's stiffened body, "I haven't named many things in my life, but I always put a lot of thought into it. I agree that naming involves responsibility, various emotions, and wishes."

Yuder remained speechless. The man who had named him Yudrain was not him, but he was, in essence, Kishiar.

"When I named Nathan, I hoped his future would literally be a blessing. I chose the name from a southern proverb, wishing him to love his roots. And the surname Zuckerman was selected from an extinct knightly family known for producing the bravest knight."

Kishiar went on with an unasked explanation, citing legends of a knight from that family who single-handedly slew over a hundred monsters.

Then he spoke of the Cavalry.

"Naming the Cavalry was quite a struggle. We had to borrow from existing terms as there was no single word that could instantly describe our powers. I named it to imply a power that was sometimes magical and sometimes like a weapon. Did you know that?"

"I think I've heard it every time I introduced the Cavalry to outsiders."

Kishiar, being the first Commander and founder, obviously named them, but this was the first time Yuder heard him personally mention it.

"But if I were to share a deeper thought, I initially wanted it to mean that the Awakeners are no less than mages or swordmasters and possess a power as great as the combination of both."

Kishiar revealed that this second meaning was his original intention when naming the Cavalry. However, fearing it would easily provoke opposition due to its audacious spirit, the Emperor suggested softening it to the first meaning. It was an unexpected backstory.

"That seems... more in line with His Majesty the Emperor's wisdom."

"Oh, I thought you would understand this spirit," Kishiar murmured playfully, fiddling with Yuder's hand. Yuder, letting him fiddle as he pleased, replied, "I agree that the Awakeners possess unmatched power, but if we had promoted the second meaning, we would have been subject to the existing powers' opposition for decades before accomplishing anything substantial."

Kishiar's hand paused for a moment.

"That's... from experience."

"Yes."

Indeed, in his previous life, the Cavalry, while reigning as the continent's supreme force, constantly faced opposition from swordmasters and mages. Had they known the name's original intent, the opposition would have been tenfold.

'Of course, things have changed a lot now. It wouldn't be the same as before.'

Back then, the attitudes of the mage organizations, which had been at odds like archenemies, had transformed remarkably after a series of events in the west. It was hard to believe they were the same groups when observing their current behavior towards the Cavalry. With Kishiar's revelation as a swordmaster, the response of the existing swordmasters was bound to change significantly and much more rapidly than before.

Realizing this, Yuder was surprised to find that he had regained his usual composure enough to contemplate such matters.

Kishiar's words, indeed an 'unclear answer' as he had put it, seemed to have been quite helpful to Yuder in many ways.

The intent behind the name Yudrain, given by the man in the past, remained a mystery. Even during the times when Yuder was trapped in a dream of eternal death, he had thought he would never want to know if such things were eternal.

However, the depth of thought, effort, and affection that Kishiar showed while talking about the names he had given were unmistakably sincere.

What, then, could the word 'eternity' mean to such a man?

Yuder took a deep breath and ventured to ask a question he had thought impossible just moments before.

"Previously, you mentioned that the name Yudrain could be interpreted as 'eternity.' Do you remember?"

"Of course."

Kishiar's response was slightly delayed, but Yuder did not notice.

"To me, 'eternity' feels like a word too far removed to be comprehensible. What are your thoughts on this word, Commander?"

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Read up to the latest chapter (1240) and more than 1000 chapters of BL novels here

[BL] Cloudless Sky

Jin Soram, the top-ranked hunter representing South Korea's Rift Phenomenon Management Headquarters, is stronger than anyone else and lazier than anyone else. As soon as he arrives at the office, he buries himself under a blanket and falls asleep. When he goes out on a mission, he causes accidents and returns to the office, often shirking his duties.

"Do you know how it feels to play a game that's already messed up? ...Anyway, the next round will come, so this time, I'm just going to play it recklessly."

In fact, his true identity is someone who has regressed through three lives, trying to save the world from the Great Rift but failing each time. After repeating a life where he couldn't sleep peacefully even for a day, he became completely exhausted before this life even began.

"I know. You worked hard, Jin Soram."

And then there's Han Tae-un, the man who saved Soram and died in all three previous lives. As he did in every life, he comes to Soram's side once again. The Great Rift is approaching soon. It's impossible to resolve it in this life without any preparation. Soram vows to save Tae-un in this life and die himself. At least, he won't let Tae-un save a failure like himself again.

"For now, until then, let's sleep..."

As Soram sluggishly lives his life waiting for that moment, a gradual change occurs in his heart.

'I thought this was a messed-up round... but I want to live a little longer here.'

[BL] Bermuda

Leonardo Blaine, the true war hero of the Raina Logia Empire and the commander of the Armsilver 11th Squad, is dishonorably discharged for disobeying orders during the final battle that could have led the Empire to victory in the territorial war. People criticize and point fingers at him, and after being released on parole from prison, he disappears without a trace.

Three years later, his name has been forgotten by the world. The Council has been persistently pursuing him, but he has proven difficult to capture. Frustrated by this, Hugo Agrizendro, the commander of the Council's army, decides to personally apprehend him.

"Since when have you been watching me?"

Leonardo was calculative and astute, so it wouldn't be surprising if he had been observing Hugo for some time now. However, Leonardo's answer was something that even Hugo had not anticipated.

"From the very beginning."

[BL] The Mist (Same author as Turning)

In the autumn of his 18th year, after winning the high school kendo championship finals, an unexpected accident occurred.

Due to that incident, Kang Mu-heon lost one of his legs, his closest friend, and his promising future. He closed off his heart and shut himself away alone.

A few years later, the world's first real virtual reality game <THE MIST> was announced, where even those with physical disabilities could play in healthy bodies.

By chance, Kang Mu-heon encountered it and began a new life as the mage Kapros, facing unexpected meetings, reunions, and days of change....

***

"Why was someone like you born into this world to make me so miserable? Do you understand when I say it like this?! You were born with talent for the sword, a bright personality, everything - you must have been laughing at me always lagging behind! Did you even know how pathetic I felt because of your stupid hypocrisy? A genius? What does any of that matter!"

Seung-jo's cries stabbed at his heart, wailing as if he were crying even though he wasn't, but there was no time to think further. He quickly clutched my stomach, got up, and ran towards him.

He looked surprised for a moment, but he was desperate.

Just as the car was about to reach us, he shoved Seung-jo hard. Right after Seung-jo fell and rolled away with wide, startled eyes—

Screech!

Bang! With an impact that felt like his whole body was being shattered, he flew through the air.

And in that brief yet long moment of floating in space, he remembered his reflection in Seung-jo's eyes for the last time.......

***

[ Then in THE MIST, may you become the master of infinite possibilities. ]

Whoosh!

When his vision returned after everything went white, he was standing in the middle of a bustling town. Amidst the clamor, countless people were busily going about their business here and there.

He looked down at himself, standing dazed and wearing clothes of unknown origin. When he touched the sleeve, he felt the texture of fabric as real as reality. His hair felt the same, and even when he touched the wall of a nearby house, he could clearly feel the solid, cold surface.

Is this... VT?

It seemed like a joke. It truly felt as if he had come to another world and was touching everything.

As he stood there unable to think due to the shock, he suddenly remembered the biggest reason he had decided to play this game, and snapped back to attention. His two legs were still as they had been when he first stood.

'Can I really walk?'

He first stepped out with his left foot, then very slowly put strength into his heavy right foot. It felt like cold sweat was running down his spine.

And then,

He lifted it,

Moved it,

And took another step to touch the ground again.

So easily. As if there had never been any problem with this leg from the beginning.

"Ah..."

At that moment, something that was neither joy nor emotion shot up his spine. Suddenly feeling a lump in his throat, he lowered his head and leaned against the wall. His right foot, bearing his weight, was doing its job perfectly.

"..."

Holding back the tightness in his throat, he took another step.

It didn't hurt. It wasn't heavy. His leg was no longer a useless piece of wood that ached.

Damn it, to be able to walk so easily like this.

To be able to run so easily like this.

He had wished even in his dreams for the day to come when he could walk and run like this again.

And so he walked again, kept walking, slowly getting faster, until finally he started running like a madman through the entire town.

***

"Kap. ...There seems to be a misunderstanding. That's not what I meant."

Just as he was thinking he should throw a punch, Yu-wan sighed with a troubled look and said.

A misunderstanding? How could it be a misunderstanding when he said with his own mouth that he didn't think of me as a friend?

"I didn't expect to receive such a question suddenly, so my explanation was probably too brief. Let me rephrase."

Yu-wan reached out his hand, his face completely changed from before - intense yet resolute - as he stared at him. As he didn't reject the hand suddenly approaching his face and kept his gaze fixed, his cool large hand touched his cheek completely.

A shiver ran down his spine at that moment.

"I'm sorry to say this to you, but I don't see you only as a friend. ...This is the complete answer."

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[BL] Cloudless Sky

Jin Soram, the top-ranked hunter representing South Korea's Rift Phenomenon Management Headquarters, is stronger than anyone else and lazier than anyone else. As soon as he arrives at the office, he buries himself under a blanket and falls asleep. When he goes out on a mission, he causes accidents and returns to the office, often shirking his duties.

"Do you know how it feels to play a game that's already messed up? ...Anyway, the next round will come, so this time, I'm just going to play it recklessly."

In fact, his true identity is someone who has regressed through three lives, trying to save the world from the Great Rift but failing each time. After repeating a life where he couldn't sleep peacefully even for a day, he became completely exhausted before this life even began.

"I know. You worked hard, Jin Soram."

And then there's Han Tae-un, the man who saved Soram and died in all three previous lives. As he did in every life, he comes to Soram's side once again. The Great Rift is approaching soon. It's impossible to resolve it in this life without any preparation. Soram vows to save Tae-un in this life and die himself. At least, he won't let Tae-un save a failure like himself again.

"For now, until then, let's sleep..."

As Soram sluggishly lives his life waiting for that moment, a gradual change occurs in his heart.

'I thought this was a messed-up round... but I want to live a little longer here.'