Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead

"This is certainly one of the most shitty welcomes I’d ever seen in my life, man—"

I heard a voice ring inside my head as I continued puking on the brown, dry leaves scattered across the forest.

Large trees surrounded us, and the sun had already set, making it harder to see through the black haze.

"We need to find shelter as soon as possible, it’s almost night and we do not want to be roaming around with the beasts here… especially when you are puking your guts

out—

I get it.

This is something every individual goes through the first few times they travel space and—"

My Grandma’s voice faded into the background as a weird and strangely sentient mechanical voice rang inside my head once again.

"Awww man! Type shit- I’ve seen my great share of villains and tragic heroes.

But none of them had been willing to pull stars and rainbows out of their mouth to welcome me.

You’re quite a piece, huh?"

"What the actual fuck?" I cursed out loud, earning a glare from Ma.

’Am I hallucinating?’ I wondered for a second. It certainly was a possibility after all this space travelling and all.

"Wait a second-" I could almost hear the shock in the robotic voice’s tone as it continued talking inside my head.

If it had a face, I was sure it would be paling right about now.

"Fuck. Don’t tell me you are a mute. Ughhh. Did the higher beings make a mistake? I mean. I know I broke the so-called ’System Codes’ but isn’t this worm too much?"

"Like bro at least gimme a villain who likes sex so I can you know, explore~"

"Who is this batshit kiddo again?"

At this point, I was almost numb to the psychotic ramblings in my mind.

This certainly was not my hallucination.

I tried my best to keep my calm and questioned the voice in my head.

"Who is this?"

"Noah? Come on! We don’t have time to dilly-dally." At the same time, Ma nudged me to walk faster as she held my hand.

Ughh

I am one person for god’s sake.

On one side Ma was continuously making me walk faster while on the other side, a chirpy, mechanical voice kept talking inside my head.

My eyebrows twitched and a rare bead of sweat dropped down my forehead.

For the first time since I opened the Book of Sin, I felt fear.

This.. this was not supposed to happen.

I was in a totally uncharted territory.

First of all, my Grandma was no longer dead.

I hadn’t gone in rage and killed the assassin like in the book.

I was supposed to wander the whole continent as the world dynamics changed.

Yes.

I did not understand much since I was only able to read snippets into the future but a huge shift was going to happen in the power grid soon.

The monarchy was supposed to fall and everything was gonna be divided into something called countries and whatnot.

I did not understand most of it, but then again, the problem right now was even worse.

I mean I was prepared for the so-called ’butterfly effect’ thingy.

After all, I had changed the whole trajectory of how my ’character’ was supposed to go.

It seemed that I had grown more smarter or concious.

All these years, I had been living my life, feeling, experiencing things.

But I had never felt this perceptive of my surroundings and the things that were happening around me before.

It was like reading the book had opened the parts of me I did not even know existed.

The whole way I saw the world had changed, after all.

I was certain now.

The Book of Sin wasn’t a lie or a joke someone had pulled on me.

No.

It was real.

And the fact that this world was just a fantasy?

Maybe that was real as well—

"Yayy, at least my host can speak. Ay man, imma totally spoil you into the Villain you wanna be. I have all types of training programs here—

You can be a mass murderer

Or even a world leader who is manipulating from the sidelines.

I usually don’t offer this course but be happy.

Hmph*

Looking at you, I can easily tell that you are a big ass virgin and hey—

"Shut up," I hissed under my breath.

The voice paused.

Ma turned to me with a worried expression. "What?"

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"Are you sure? You seem—"

"I’m fine," I cut in quickly.

I needed to get a grip.

"Okay," Ma said, though she didn’t look convinced.

Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to calm down.

I wouldn’t say I had read the whole script of this "fantasy novel" I was living in, but I had seen enough to know that whatever this thing was, it wasn’t Supposed to be here. With me.

Someone, anyone, just tell me I hadn’t turned into one of those senile teenagers hallucinating a strange voice in their head teaching them how to—

[Hmph.]

[People call me the ’System’.]

I stopped in my tracks.

The voice—no, the thing inside my head—kept rambling in a way that made my skin crawl.

A system?

According to what I read in the Book of Sin…Wasn’t Azazel, the so-called hero supposed to have one?

Then what was this—

Were our roles reversed or was it that there were now 2 people in this world with these so called ’Systems’?

This didn’t make sense.

I had lived seventeen years of my life, and never once had I come across anything remotely similar.

It all seemed wrong.

"Oi, why are you stopping? You don’t like my grand entrance? Hmph, that’s fine, I suppose. You are my host now, so I’ll let it slide."

I sucked in a sharp breath. I was already lightheaded from the teleportation, and now this?

Calm down, Noah. Think logically.

If this thing—this "system"—was real, then it meant…

It wasn’t supposed to be here.

It wasn’t part of this world.

That single thought sent a chill down my spine.

"Noah!" Ma’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts as she pulled at my wrist, forcing me to move.

The forest around us had grown eerily quiet, the faint rustling of the wind the only sound accompanying our hurried steps.

"We need to find a shelter before the beasts start roaming. Keep up."

I forced myself to nod, trying to ignore the creeping sense of unease that was crawling around my gut.

My feet moved on instinct, following my grandmother as she led the way through the dark woods.

But the voice in my head refused to stay quiet.

"Oho? So you’re ignoring me now? That’s cold, man. Real cold. I didn’t even get to finish my grand introduction! Sheesh. Fine, I’ll make it quick."

I braced myself for another round of nonsense.

"[Welcome, Host! You have successfully been chosen to wield the System!

With me, you can ascend to greatness, reign as the supreme villain of this world, and bend fate itself to your will!]"

A pause.

Then, with a much lower, almost casual tone, it added—

"—or you can die like a dog in a ditch. Your choice, really."

I nearly tripped over my own feet.

"What…?"

***

A/N:

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