When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Story 11 - How to Save a Sect in Six Simple Steps (3)

We returned to Noxious Fangstrike’s alchemy room.

I crossed my arms and studied his face. “So, how fucked are we?”

“How about you and your band go on a long trip? Maybe even try to get back to your sect?”

“I’d love to kidnap them like that. But they should make their own decisions. And I’m not forcing Dread Lotus into anything.”

I doubted that she’d go if it meant leaving him behind.

I slammed my hand against his alchemy prep table. “Now answer the question. How bad is it?”

He grimaced. “I doubt that the arrogant snake can transcend his tribulation since he hasn’t been through our treatment... But if he can, he’ll definitely kill me.”

Which would leave Dread Lotus devastated.

“What grudge does he have with you, anyway?”

Holy shit?! That was a lot to unpack.

Either his master was a cannibal, something not entirely unexpected in this fucked up Xianxia universe, or... “Was his concubine a spirit beast that could transform into a human shape?”

He nodded. “My master was a... complicated woman. She died before he could get his revenge, so he transferred his hatred to me. The only reason I’m still alive is because he could never beat me.”

“But that will change if he reaches Immortal Bone Creation.”

“Yes.”

I started taking out the ingredients to make the Nascent Soul version of the bath treatment. “Well, the answer is simple.”

“No.” He glared.

I grinned. “You simply need to transcend your tribulation before him. Easy.”

“Even if you finish my treatment, it’s not possible for me to reach Immortal Bone Creation. Not in that short amount of time. I don’t even have access to a manual that tells me how to condense an immortal bone!”

Well, considering that there were only nine Immortal Bone Creation experts on the continent, I wasn’t surprised they’d limited that information so extremely. “Then how is Senior Resentful Shadow Snake going to condense his bone?”

He grimaced and began helping me sort the fifty ingredients that made up the bath. “That Snake has his senior brother’s technique. He likely spent those 70 years in closed door cultivation practicing just for this moment. He’d never teach me the method. And even if he did, I wouldn’t have the time to memorize it.”

This meant that if I wanted to get this asshole into Immortal Bone Creation, I’d have to give him an Immortal Bone Creation manual and walk him through the process using everything I’d learned in my past life.

Since I’d been an alchemist for a thousand years, I certainly had more than one or two manuals memorized. The issue was that they were orthodox techniques I learned from the Indomitable Will sect. They were something I couldn’t give him. Not unless... No. Not that.

I guessed there was no way. I mean, even if he had a cultivation method, I’d have to walk him through the process of creating an immortal bone. This fucker would then owe me for his next seven lifetimes. That was certainly more than he could afford. It would absolutely fuck up his karma which would make going through his tribulation impossible until he paid me back. The only way to avoid that would be if I... goddamn it.

I’d already said I wasn’t going to fucking take him in as a disciple!

Fuck that! No. I refused to have a disciple. Watching that creep Verdant Bamboo marry that donkey-brained Bloodsword like the disgusting scum bucket she was made me never want one.

Seriously, what was the original author thinking?! Master-disciple relationships in Xianxia may not be uncommon, but they reeked of grooming. Especially their relationship. It gave me the ick.

Even if I wanted to make him my disciple, he would never agree. It was impossible!

I’d have to find some other way since the mere thought of taking in a disciple made my skin crawl. But that could be left for later. I had too much to do first, like making sure everything went well with his second-to-last bath.

That said... “Whether you go through your tribulation or just prepare for war, gather every high-ranked defensive tool you can once we’re done here.”

He scowled. “I plan to.”

***

After we prepared the bath and I gave him his acupuncture treatment, I looked over his body using my divine sense and cataloged the changes. Everything was as I expected... At least until I reached the blockages near his eyes. While they weren’t as bad as they’d been when I left yesterday, the current bath wasn’t doing anything to loosen them at all.

Damn it! This asshole lied to me, thinking he could stretch the truth because he received an epiphany yesterday. ‘I can control my side effects now’ my ass!@@novelbin@@

It was my fault for not checking that he meant all of his beast parts, even the ones that weren’t annoying. He could already change the musky nose-attacking scent glands, dull his too-heightened senses, and shift his hair color which were the only things that frustrated him. I’d just assumed he could change his eyes back, too. Unfortunately, he still had these blockages, which meant he couldn’t!

All the patients in this world were fucking liars!

Shit. I had to do something about these if I wanted to save face after telling him he’d be fully cured after tomorrow’s treatment. Since this bath wasn’t fixing this blockage the way it should, I had to find a way to remove it quickly.

I glanced down at the silver needle in my hand. Could I get away with stabbing him near the eye? Yeah, No. Even if it were for treatment, he absolutely would not let me.

Then what about taking a Heavenly Skies Meridian Clearing pill? Fuck. We didn’t have the ingredients for that on this damned backwater continent. And even if we did, it might not work against the beast blood contract bath’s effects.

“...”

Noxious frowned. “Why are you glaring at me like that?”

As if he didn’t know. Then again, the bath’s itching and intense smell were likely getting to him, so it was possible he didn’t realize I’d figured out his minor deception. Whatever.

Making him suffer through the bath wasn’t enough of a revenge for lying to me about his body’s physical state during our damned testing phase! No. I wanted to see him cry.

Wait. That wasn’t a bad idea!

I loomed above him.

“What?”

“Uncomfortable?”

“Very.”

I smiled evilly. “You’re good at not showing your discomfort… But I bet I can make you cry.”

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He straightened his back. The corners of his lips turned up with all the confidence of a man two realms higher than me. “I’d like to see you try.”

“A bet isn’t a bet without stakes.”

He tapped the rim of his cauldron. “Then when you lose, teach me those advanced hand seals you’ve been hiding.”

It figured this fucker would see through my tricks after working with me for so long.

“If that’s how you want to play, then give up the recipes for those Nascent-Soul-affecting poisons you’ve been keeping from me when you lose.”

He looked smug like he’d already won. “Fine.”

I pulled out my acoustic guitar and strummed a few chords while hitting my thumb against the wood to create a percussion effect. “You’re about to hear a rock ballad of a young man who lost his beloved father figure.”

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I was so glad I had a captive audience.

“Wait! Hold on.”

He looked like he forgot that I was the mother of the Dao of Rock. Muahahaha!

Lukas Graham’s You’re Not There inspired my junior, Deep Scream, to write this song after losing his father. It had a truly beautiful effect on those who had experienced loss. It also made everyone who heard it cry. I imagined it would be especially potent against this old jerk who doted on his only blood-related niece.

I raised my eyebrows at him, daring him to stop me. When he didn’t, I sang sweetly and with a soul-wrenching feeling in my voice.

Within the ballad’s lyrics, the only things the man had left of his father were stories he kept in his heart and told others whenever he could.

He worked hard and won a prestigious tournament, but when he looked toward the audience, he couldn’t see the proud face he expected. The one who’d always been there before.

There had been footsteps once left in the sand. But the young man had to walk past where they’d stopped into the unknown. He was scared but kept going by himself, not knowing if the path he would tread was the right one. He had to be strong without the pillar he relied on.

I glanced at Noxious. He glared at me. His forehead had turned red, and a vein bulged near his temple. He really exerted himself... which was exactly what I wanted. That intense pressure focused on his eyes as he used his spiritual energy to stop his tears until...

The young man looked up from buying something from a stall. He thought he saw his father in the crowd. It was just a stranger.

He struggled to recall his voice and the expressions he made.

It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t there.

The effect of this song was magical. It helped those who had experienced loss, to hear a friend or family member’s voice and remember their face if they chose to. All they had to do was try as they listened. Try and cry.

I knew Noxious couldn’t resist.

I hadn’t been able to either.

His eyes glistened with moisture. A few drops trailed down his cheeks and his eyes changed from golden and snake-like to blue and human. Illusory snakes, similar to Inky Air Corrupter, appeared behind him as he reached past the bottom of the peak to the very pinnacle of Nascent Soul, also called a half-step into Immortal Bone Creation.

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I played the last chord and looked into a glare similar to Dread Lotus’s. Huh. Apparently, my friend received her eye color from Noxious’ side of the family.

“I hate you.”

I grinned. “I took care of that blockage for you. Be grateful, you damned liar.”

He pulled out a handkerchief and elegantly wiped his cheeks. He completely ignored my taunting.

“Can you change your eyes back?”

He easily did so and left them that way. He’d likely spent so long with spiritual snake vision that the normal kind was uncomfortable.

I grinned. “It’s a good song, right?”

He didn’t respond.

“Want me to play it again?”

“Of course I do!” He looked furious and tossed me a jade slip. I checked it over and it had the recipes I’d won.

Okay, I might have gone a little too far to win the bet. I decided to do the poison master a favor and sing it one last time.

I pulled out a spare recording device I originally planned to set up to spy on that rat girl later. After using a hand seal to make it record only the sound, I set it on the alchemy table.

He could have this recording for free since he paid me so promptly.

***

After I returned to my immortal cave, I activated my obfuscation formation. With a press of a nearby rock, a secret cavern opened revealing a massive stone wall that I ‘borrowed’ from the Alchemist’s Guild.

I used my spiritual energy to activate it and sent a request to talk to Junior Sect Leader Unyielding Firestorm.

It took a whole hour before he replied. “Great Aunt Lin! I apologize for keeping you waiting. This is outside of our normal communication time, so it took me longer to arrive.”

Was this brat subtly reprimanding me using the Dao of Paperwork’s passive-aggressive language obfuscation technique? The one that required a corporate translator to unravel?

Nah, he wouldn’t dare.

“I take it Little Peerless Resolve is still in closed door cultivation?”

“Of course. I’ll let you know immediately when he returns!”

Damn. I’d have more options if he were around.

“Please tell me what this is about, Great Aunt Lin.”

“I have a situation here. I need you to check with the other ancestors to make sure they didn’t go overboard by trying to wipe out the Irrepressible Beast Blood Sect.”

“Are you in danger?!”

“Not at the moment, but things aren’t looking good over here.”

“Alright, just give me some time.”

The messages on the wall vanished.

Since I had to wait anyway, I considered my options.

There were really only two: Leave to serve myself, or save this damned sect.

On the one hand, I had planned to take off soon. After all, my experiments were almost finished. I had studied enough poison arts that I was satisfied the whole practice wouldn’t disappear. Pearlescent Rose had already taught me the Real Illusion technique, though I had yet to master it.

Essentially, I’d learned what I could and was satisfied with my time here.

Also, thanks to Little Spring’s meals and my band’s music, I had healed so much that I could look forward to reaching Golden Core in the next three years.

But most importantly, this sect didn’t take part in the inter-sect tournament. That was something I had to participate in if I wanted to return home. If I didn’t, I would have to travel for decades or gather a fortune to teleport. Likely both.

Basically, I couldn’t stay here.

But, on the other hand... I’d already worked so fucking hard to save this sect from itself! If I didn’t help it one last time, all my hard work would go to waste!

It was fucking infuriating.

There was also the fact that this place was my friend’s home. Maybe I could convince her to run away like Noxious wanted, but if I couldn’t, then... what? I leave her to die two years after I cured her?

Was it possible the author’s influence on this world’s fate was impossible to fight against?

Yeah, fuck that.

I refused to allow something ephemeral as fate to decide the future! Besides, Junior Sect Leader Unyielding Firestorm was still alive and thriving! I knew I could change someone’s fate.

I’d long ago decided that in this life I would do what I could to save those who mattered to me! I’d even go against the will of the heavens and punch that damn disgusting author in his left eye.

But... was saving this damned sect worth breaking my resolution to never take in a disciple if I couldn’t find another way?

“Great Martial Aunt Lin! I spoke with the ancestors. They long ago asked their friends to not harm the Irrepressible Beast Blood Sect unless attacked first. However, a few of their contacts know that you’re hiding there. They sent messages to them and requested that they help you if they ever meet you.”

“Give me a list of the ones they trust with their lives.”

I just hoped they were reliable. Nothing would be worse than escaping a war only to end up refined into a human pill by some untrustworthy asshole. Considering that fucked in the head author, it wasn’t impossible. It was likely even.

Unyielding wrote out the names, which included the organization the contacts were part of. I quickly memorized it. It had people from every large righteous-leaning clan and sect on the continent. Their cultivation levels ranged from Golden Core to Nascent Soul. It was an impressive list.

“Keep up the hard work,” I sent him.

“Great Aunt Lin, it never ends!”

My poor great grand martial nephew. “I take it you still haven’t gained insights into the Dao of Paperwork.”

“No, but thanks to you, I’ve realized how important the Dao of Delegation is and hired several more promising clerks just this last week. Also, Senior Early Rise Swift Brush seems ready to go through another tribulation, which means his skills will improve to an even greater degree!”

I would have killed to have someone as skilled as Little Swift Brush in my past life.

Wait... Fuck. Was he going to go reach Golden Core or Nascent Soul?! Either way, wasn’t this too fast? This was faster than me and I was doing this for the second time!

The heavens must really want a new clerk!

“Just give him plenty of defensive tools and talismans. The sect and you need him safe and healthy.”

“Yes, Great Aunt Lin!”

I paused for a moment. “Any news on Clear Eyes Mad Tongue?”

“I’m sorry. He, Red 3, and Red 7 still haven’t returned after they finished their mission. I’ll let you know as soon as they return.”

Damn. That kid better be safe! Apparently, as a thanks to the Reds for saving his team’s ass, he decided to help them with some personal request.

Hah! He should be thanking me for sending them after him by coming back alive and healthy.

If he died during this extra mission, I’d bring that fucker back to life just so I could kick his ass.

***

After helping Unyielding with a few more questions about management and his cultivation, he told me about the reason it took him so long to get to me earlier.

“Actually, Great Aunt Lin, I’m having some trouble. These two Immortal Ascension ancestors each thought this cute mundane cat was theirs. A not-so-bright sect servant brought it without permission and let it out. When Ancestor Alchemy Dragon found it, he named it Treasure Bun, while Ancestor North Winds called it Night Ghost. They both want it and are about to start a fight over it. I had to pause the conversation I was having with them to come here.”

Fuck. What was this kid thinking? He should have dealt with that first. “If they start throwing attacks at each other it could tear down Elder’s Peak, even with its defensive formations!”

“I know.”

I sighed. “I take it you’re trying to convince them to share the cat instead of fighting?”

“Yes.”

“What are you doing with the sect servant?”

“I haven’t decided his punishment yet, but he needs to be taught a lesson for bringing in Senior Treasure Bun Night Ghost without permission and letting it roam around in the inner sect. If it hadn’t been for that last part, it would never have wandered near both ancestor’s caves and caught their eye.”

He was calling the cat ‘senior’ so it must be fucking adorable.

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“First, I recommend you punish the servant by assigning him to care for Little Treasure Bun Night Ghost for the rest of the cat’s life. But make sure he’s compensated for his work so he isn’t too resentful.”

Considering that both of the Immortal Ascension stage masters would definitely feed it life-extension pills, it might outlive the poor man!

“That sounds like an amazing idea! This will teach that irritating guy how to take responsibility for his actions! But, Great Aunt… what I really need is advice on how to convince them to share without offending either ancestor.”

“Then tell them that we should allow the cat to keep roaming Elder’s Peak with its caretaker in tow. Essentially, have it decide when it will visit them. They’ll probably be cultivating most of the time, anyway.”

“But what if they argue with me?”

“If they have a problem with my solution, they can come over to this continent and talk to me about it in person.”

Sadly, it would still take them years to get over here even for an Immortal Ascension expert. Participating in the tournament would still be faster than waiting for them.

“Great Aunt! You’re a genius! Thank you!”

Of course, I was!

“I’ll go take care of that right now. Please, stay safe! The sect needs you!”

It was nice helping Unyielding Firestorm, even though it made me miss my home. Unfortunately, talking to him didn’t help me figure out what I wanted to do about the Irrepressible Beast Blood sect. Though I was grateful, Little Spring and I now had potential contacts we could turn to for help if I abandoned the sect to its fate.

Instead of a great martial grandnephew, maybe I needed the advice of a friend.

Fortunately, it was my band’s daily practice time.