When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Story 11 - How to Save a Sect in Six Simple Steps (7)

While Little Spring and Daoist No One In Particular had a short conversation, I scanned the area with my divine sense, searching for someone who looked suspicious. I couldn’t find anyone. There wasn’t even a single individual who seemed like they might be a spy for the orthodox sects other than the kid and me.

The two exchanged bags, then the woman spoke for a while. Little Spring clenched his fists and then relaxed them.

The merchant bowed apologetically before they parted.

While paying close attention to his environment, he weaved through several alleys before meeting back up with me.

The brat had the smuggest ‘I told you so’ look on his face.

“We could meet them on our way back.”

“So, will you admit I won if we get home safely?”

I nodded grudgingly.

He grinned.

When we neared the tournament grounds where our first concert took place, I braced myself to handle any oncoming attacks. But we simply passed by it with no issue.

Then we entered through the gates peacefully, in complete silence.

I thought that maybe they were already in the sect, waiting in ambush. I glared at a few demonic musicians and dread painters I didn’t recognize, but they just walked by.

Little Spring rolled his eyes and kept going.

We made it all the way back to my immortal cave. I hesitantly entered it, expecting to be attacked at any second.

The kid sighed and activated my obfuscation formation before grabbing my sleeve and bringing me into the space.

No one had come after us.

Impossible! How could I possibly not be right? I was always right...

“Sister Lin, why do you look so stunned?”

Wait, did it not happen because I made a bet with his brat and gone against rule number 4 of Transmigrated into a Novel Club? Was that it? I’d broken my rules, and the laws of the narrative worked in the protagonist’s favor?

There had to be a way to abuse this somehow. Well, I could figure that out later.

“Sister Lin. I think you’ve become overly paranoid recently.”

I scowled. “So what! Being aware and on edge keeps me alive. How else could I have lived for a thousand years?” I straightened my spine. “Now, tell me what you two talked about.”

“She just described the island from the rumors she collected around the port she buys her merchandise from. Apparently, the place is possibly massive, closer to a small continent that travels throughout the world than an island. There are mountains, forests, secret realms, and everything else you could think of.”

So it wasn’t like the small Alchemy Island turtle. Either it was on a much larger beast or it was a spiritual device made by an immortal ascension genius. I’d make sure to come along with the kid when it was time to get his revenge so I could study it.

“She also learned that they were searching for someone, but it definitely wasn’t me they were looking for. They might not even know I’m alive, but they probably know my mother has passed since they aren’t looking for someone who matches her description.”

I nodded. Seriously, how could I have been so wrong about this? Maybe the assassins would come later, now that he’s already won?

The kid hesitated. A variety of emotions crossed his face, ending in resignation. ”Um, Sister Lin, since the war is about to start, I was thinking about what we’d need. When she told me about this, I couldn’t resist.” He pulled out a gold ring and handed it to me. “It’s a set of high-quality sky-rank armor that you can equip at will. It’s almost heaven rank. But—“

He cut off when I slid it onto my right hand ring finger. I scratched the back of my arm to draw blood. Once a small drop formed, I pressed the ring to it. A connection formed between me and it when my blood disappeared into the gold.

I used my divine sense to activate it, and a set of golden armor expanded from the ring and hovered above my robes.

Little Spring studied it with wide eyes.

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It wasn’t better than what I could make, given enough hours and materials, but it was still nice. Since I could use this instead of improving my old armor, I would save an incredible amount of time.

With a thought, the armor disappeared back into the ring.

“It’s perfect, but I’m not happy.” I patted his fluffy head. “Because you need this more than I do.”

I saw that hesitation earlier. He probably wanted to keep it for himself, and he should have.

He shook his head. “No, even if you still have the hairpin I gave you, I used it more than you did. This will be me making up for that.”

Aww. This thoughtful brat.

“Besides,” he pulled out a second thicker ring, “It came in a set of two.”

He copied my previous actions. When he activated his armor, it matched mine, but was designed for a man.

He grinned.

Wait. Then why the fuck had he hesitated? And also… “I know you’ve been selling pills and instruments over the past couple of years, but did you really make enough to afford both of these?”

“Ah. That.” He looked sheepish. “I think I may have been scammed.”

The protagonist was scammed? “What? Did you pay too much for them?” The armor looked high quality to me, and after scanning it with my divine sense, I couldn’t pick up any abnormalities.

He nodded and frowned down at the ring. “The merchant told me that she’d give me a big discount if I agreed to not return them, no matter what. I wanted to get you a protective gift before the war, so I agreed without thinking too much.”

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“Go on.”

“The thing is… they’re cursed.”

Was this brat serious? I tried to pull the ring off, but he grabbed my hand.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “This is why you don’t trust merchants! Are you sure she wasn’t told to sell you this to put you in danger?”

“It’s not that bad… probably.”

I stared at him. His cheeks turned pink.

“Tell me what this curse is about.”

“Well, after I bought it, she explained that it was originally ordered by a rich Golden Core cultivator who ended up wearing a green hat.”

I frowned. “How is that relevant to the curse?”

“I’m getting to that.” He sighed. “The original customer canceled the order. Unfortunately for the creator, it was already completed, and he’d used a lot of rare ingredients.”

Ooof. “This is why you should demand payment upfront.”

“I think so, too.” His armor vanished back into his ring. “Anyway, the smith felt so bad for the poor man that he even returned his down payment. He thought he’d easily be able to sell it to someone else, but...”

“What?”

He looked sheepish. “A pair of old Dao companions tried it on and broke up immediately after.”

“…” I furrowed my brow. “That’s it?”

“And the next couple after that who tried it on were forcefully torn apart. Apparently, the girl’s father suddenly returned and moved her to a sect halfway across the continent, forever parting the two. And after that, the merchant purchased it. Only a few days later, her husband left her for some demonic dancer.”

Oh shit!

“After that, she believed in the rumors that the armor set was unlucky for couples. She wanted to get rid of it as fast as possible and sold it to me. I guess she felt bad about not giving me a heads up before I bought it, so she told me about it after the fact.”

I rested my hand on Little Spring’s shoulder. “This might seem bad, but correlation does not equal causation. That sounds more like a superstition developed after a series of unfortunate events rather than a real curse. And even if it was real, it wouldn’t work on us since we’re not in any relationships. Unless there's something you want to tell me?”

He shook his head.

I smiled.

When I looked at the ring, I couldn’t help but think it was actually very pretty. “All those couples breaking up just shows why it would be best to wait until after you’ve become immortal to even think about romance.”

He nodded.

“Especially the cheaters. Remember, anyone can cheat: man, woman, fish, whatever. Then things become far too time-consuming.”

He took a step back as if I’d made some kind of scary face. ”Ah, Sister Lin… what exactly is time-consuming?”

”Oh, that? After your trusted partner betrays you, you absolutely have to get revenge.”

“So most people don’t just go their separate ways? I thought that was what adults did.”

“Well, maybe some people do that. But that doesn’t make any sense to me. If someone you trusted betrays you like that, it’s unforgivable. The only way to make things right is to spend hundreds of years making their life miserable.”

“Ah… How?”

“Just off the top of my head? Spreading rumors about the things they’ve done that would disgust their friends, family, and colleagues.” It was only slander if it wasn’t true. “Buy up all the medicinal herbs they need and not sell them any.” I’d learned that one from Violet. “Get into the same business as them and completely outshine them so they feel everlasting despair.” Muahahaha!

“Also, planting a Stinking Gas Vine in front of their immortal cave while they’re in closed door cultivation, will make them smell like a burning asshole for a hundred days.”

His mouth opened. “Wouldn’t killing them be easier?”

Who taught this brat that?! Oh… it was probably me, wasn’t it? Shit.

I cleared my throat. “That option isn’t entirely wrong. But once they’re dead, you can’t make them suffer anymore. So you should only take out those who really deserve to die.”

He nodded as if that made a lot of sense.

“Anyway, after slowly hurting them with small things like I mentioned, the best part is the massive finale where you utterly ruin their life and force all their loved ones and business partners to turn their backs on them. Hiring a higher realmed cultivator to destroy their cultivation, at that point, is the perfect way to reduce their inevitable retaliation.”

The kid’s eyes were so wide they looked like they’d popped out of his head.

I cleared my throat. “It’s far less time-consuming to just remain single.”

”Sister Lin… have you done that before?”

”What? No. I’ve been romance-free since before I even came to this world. Who would I have exacted revenge on?” I knew what kind of petty person I was, and that was just another reason to stay away from relationships.

”Oh.”

”But I did have a student once who I helped plan a revenge similar to this after her Dao companion of three centuries cheated on her with his own inheriting disciple.” Which only supported my decision to never take one in. “Apparently, the revenge was very cathartic. She even gifted me a powerful parasol defensive tool that saved my ass a couple times before I time traveled.” Though I rarely took it out since it had a ridiculous-looking cartoon panda painted on it.

He looked at me like he was fascinated and maybe even a bit horrified. Well, I rarely shared things about myself. Had this preteen finally developed a healthy fear of his older martial sister?

“It’s a good thing that you helped her. It sounds like that brought you good karma. And that helped keep you safe long enough for you to come back in time.”

Or maybe not.

He tugged at my sleeve. “By the way, Sister Lin. I won our bet.”

Goddamn it. “Yes, you won.”

He looked so happy and adorable. “I think you should cut back on gambling. It was too easy to win against you.”

This brat! I didn’t want to hear that from the universe’s goddamn main character! Every single Xianxia main character gambled, as if not doing so would make them lose face. They also always won. I should have realized that it wasn’t a typical plot setup that I had to worry about. It was his damn protagonist halo!

I grinned evilly at Little Spring. “Your prize is that you want me to help you develop a meal that’s an effective replacement, right?”

The ears on top of his head flattened as if he sensed danger. “Sister Lin, please also help me make it taste good, too. If it tastes terrible, I’d rather keep up with the bath treatments.”

”Alright, you gather all the ingredients you think you’ll need and more. I have to collect some herbs myself, then help Noxious and give him a short lecture. Once I’m done, we can work on this.” I smoothed his hair back. “Thanks to you getting me that armor, I have much more time than I thought I’d have. You did good.”

He beamed.

***

When I reached Noxious’s alchemy room, it was filled with dozens of disciples who were quickly coming and going.

Even Blaizing Lion, the girl who judged me during the Alchemy Convention, showed up once the crowd lightened. She came a little too close to him and called him ‘Senior’ sweetly.

I’d known that she’d liked him for a while but was just too respectful to approach him. Now that the war was coming, she had decided to shoot her shot. Unfortunately for her, that made him uncomfortable. He moved away from her and handed her a jade slip with a disapproving frown.

Her smile faltered, but she bowed and turned toward the door. When she saw me, her cheeks blushed, and then she glared at me before leaving.

I waited a few more minutes until all the disciples had their war preparation tasks delegated to them. When it was only the two of us, I crossed my arms. “Did you even have time to memorize all that in between taking care of your students?”

“I memorized it, but you were right. I didn’t understand it.”

I nodded. “That’s fine. By the time your last treatment is finished, you’ll be ready.”

He pulled out his cauldron, placed it on an earthen flame, and prepared his own bath while I sanitized the needles I’d use. I also set up the isolation and obfuscation formations.

When we were both ready, he stepped into his final bath, and I stabbed him on the necessary acupoints. Frankly, if I hadn’t gone through body cultivation and he hadn’t allowed me to, there was no possible way I could have actually pricked him. Not at my current realm, anyway.

I took control of the fire from him, set it to simmer, and let the Nascent Soul soup cook.

He didn’t look bothered at all, but I could tell that he had used his spiritual energy to deaden his sense of smell and touch so he wouldn’t be tempted to itch himself and lose face.

”Stop that. You know it won’t be as effective if you desensitize yourself like that.”

He scowled.

As soon as he looked uncomfortable, I grinned down at him. “Now that you’re trapped. You have no choice but to listen to me!”

”I was already planning on doing that.” Before I could respond, he continued. “Just one thing.”

”What?”

He handed me a jade slip. “I have a few things I need you to take care of for me, whether I make it or not.”

I put it in my spatial ring. ”I’ll look at it once the bath is finished, and you’re rushing to call down your tribulation.”

He scowled. ”I still don’t feel ready.”

”Even if you’re not, when an opportunity of a lifetime comes to your front gate, you take it. From there, you can either overcome any insecurities you have and pass through it to become an expert, or you can die.”

His expression changed from pensive to determined. “Thank you for your advice, master.”

I nodded. “And speaking of opportunities, do you know Little Teasing Mouse?”

”Doesn’t sound familiar.”

”She helped Dread Lotus and my band find me.”

”Right, right. I vaguely remember that thing.”

”I’m talking about the girl, not her pet.”

”Ah.”

I seriously questioned for a second if it was a good idea to accept this guy as my in-name disciple. Whatever. It was already done.

I pulled the spying orb and the secret manual from my desk in the space and showed them side by side to Noxious. “I’m 95% positive she’s a demonic dancer.”

He sighed. “Master… this is an unorthodox sect. The only reason we don’t have demonic dancers now is because they left. They weren’t kicked out.”

Goddamn it. Then how the fuck was I going to make this sect properly wary of this girl?