An Unexpected Proposal

April 30, 2020

"Still, the fact that you drew it means you must have longed for it that much."

"……."

"May I ask what happened?"

"I just didn’t want to forget my mother’s face. When you draw, you keep picturing the person’s appearance, and it makes remembering their face easier. But when that happens, it leaves a trace."

Alicia fidgeted with her fingers. She never thought she would end up sharing something like this, but there was nothing left to hide from Cabelenus now.

"After my mother passed away, everyone became obsessed with erasing all traces of her. As if she had never existed in the first place, they burned everything of hers to get rid of it. And whenever my mother’s name came up, blood would be shed."

"Then, why are these paintings still here?"

"To be precise, they aren’t ‘still here.’ They’re just untouched."

Alicia weakly shook her head.

"Untouched?"

Cabelenus raised an eyebrow.

"It was the Queen of Neuschwein’s hobby."

"Hobby?"

"The Queen used to mock my mother’s portraits in front of me, saying it made her feel better to see my mother’s face twisted."

Alicia spoke flatly, but her body trembled slightly. The memories of helplessly watching her dead mother be mocked because of the portraits Alicia herself had drawn were truly horrifying.

"The Queen couldn’t win over the King, so instead, she found someone to pour her emotions onto."

Alicia let out a tired smile. The Queen wasn’t angry because of the King’s infidelity. It was because she had lost the power she once held.

"It wasn’t just the Queen. Everyone did that. My mother never loved the King, and even coming to Neuschwein Castle wasn’t her choice. Yet everyone was quick to blame my mother."

But no one ever spoke a word about the King of Neuschwein. Alicia’s face crumpled, as if it had been squeezed tightly. It was all in the past now. She knew telling Cabelenus wouldn’t change anything, but still, she wanted to say it at least once.

"My mother wasn’t a bad person. She was just a victim."

Alicia’s tearful gaze landed on the portrait. In the faded portrait, her mother was smiling happily. The very image Alicia had wanted to see.

"……Yeah. I think so too."

Cabelenus, who had been watching Alicia with a face that looked like it might crumble at any moment, carefully pulled her into his embrace. He had never thought of someone as pitiful in his life, but the frail face of this woman made him feel sorry. Her trembling shoulders, her thin body that didn’t fill his arms, and the voice that seemed to swallow tears as a habit, all of it broke his heart.@@novelbin@@

***

"Lady, are you alright?"

"Yes. I’m fine."

Alicia nodded with a faint smile. It was her first time riding in a carriage, so it felt unfamiliar, but it wasn’t unbearable.

"If anything feels uncomfortable, please let me know right away. The Schwarhan carriage has a heavy frame and doesn’t shake as much, but even so, it can be difficult for those not used to long-distance travel."

"I can bear it."

As soon as Alicia finished her sentence, Gajev took a small bottle of medicine out of his chest.

"Here you go."

"What is this?"

Alicia looked at Gajev and the bottle alternately, her eyes widening a little.

"It’s a sleeping pill."

"A sleeping pill?"

"If you’re feeling unwell, taking this and getting some rest should help."

"You're so thoughtful."

Alicia smiled softly.

"I may have prepared the sleeping pill, but His Highness ordered it. He said that if you said something was wrong, he would consider it serious and take measures."

"His Highness?"

"Yes. His Highness was very considerate."

"I see."

Alicia subconsciously ran her fingers along the smooth surface of the glass bottle. Just holding the bottle somehow gave her a sense of reassurance.

"It will take quite a while to reach the meeting point with His Highness. Please don’t worry about me, and you may rest as you wish. While you sleep, I will take care of my work."

Gajev smiled, showing off a stack of documents as if to prove a point.

"Are you busy?"

"No. I simply prefer to handle personal matters ahead of time."

"……."

"If you have something to say, feel free to speak. There’s no need to be concerned about my opinion. You don’t need to worry about me."

"That sounds just like His Highness."

Alicia felt like her thoughts had been exposed. She stammered, her face slightly flushed.

"Then I’m honored."

Gajev’s lips spread into a deep smile. Alicia, still holding the glass bottle, carefully removed her fingers and spoke hesitantly.

"Actually, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask."

"What is it?"

"Is it normal for Schwarhan to treat slaves like this?"

Everything Cabelenus did for Alicia wasn’t something you’d expect from a master to a slave. Even without fully understanding the concept of slavery, Alicia knew that much. But acknowledging that fact made it difficult to comprehend Cabelenus' actions.

"What do you mean by 'treating'?"

How could she express her thoughts clearly? Alicia paused for a moment to gather her words before speaking slowly.

"Like how I am being treated."

"To be honest, it's not common."

"Of course."

"There were never slaves in Schwarhan to begin with."

"There were no slaves in Schwarhan?"

"The Empire still has a system of slavery, and even in the capital, slave trade takes place fairly easily. But not in Schwarhan."

Gajev set the papers he was holding aside and calmly continued.

"In a poor land like Schwarhan, slaves were a luxury. In a land where you had to conserve food even by cutting down on one more mouth to feed, having slaves was as inefficient as it gets."

"But His Highness... he..."

Cabelenus had been very extravagant, and that wealth seemed to come from Schwarhan's riches. It didn’t make sense that Schwarhan was a poor land.

"Ah, of course, this is all from the past."

"The past?"

"Since His Highness became the lord of Schwarhan, everything has changed. The land that couldn’t even sprout a single seed has now become a land where all the lords bow their heads in respect."

Gajev’s eyes glowed with admiration as he looked at Cabelenus. He genuinely respected his superior.

"It seems like you really admire His Highness."

"Not just me, but most people in Schwarhan feel the same way. If it weren’t for His Highness, our lives wouldn’t have changed."

"I see."

"That’s why I like you."

Gajev gazed at Alicia with a kind look in his eyes.

“…Pardon?”

“You shall stay by His Highness’s side from now on.”

Objectively speaking, Alicia was not exactly a woman with great prospects. In fact, the secrets she held could even pose a threat to Cabelenus. Yet Gajev trusted Cabelenus’s choice. Regardless of what Alicia was, as long as Cabelenus had decided to make her the Duchess, he would simply accept that decision. He had no doubt that this timid young lady, who appeared so fragile now, would one day stand proudly by Cabelenus’s side as the Duchess.

“You should hold yourself more confidently, Miss.”

“But my status…”

“There are no slaves in Schwarhan. And even if there were, no one would ever consider you a slave.”

“That’s strange.”

“It’s not strange. I’m sorry, however, for the delay in matters.”

Gajev spoke firmly. Alicia was, after all, Cabelenus’s one and only wife, and the future mistress of Schwarhan. From Gajev’s point of view, it was a pity he could not yet show her the respect she deserved.

“…Will that really be alright? Won’t my existence be a burden to His Highness?”

“The Emperor’s order was initially to eradicate all of the Neuschwein royal family. However, His Highness spared your life and allowed you to survive as a slave.”

“See, from the beginning, I’ve already been a burden to His Highness.”

The Emperor’s commands were absolute. No matter how much Cabelenus was the Emperor’s half-brother, defying the Emperor’s will would lead to disgrace. The rumors that the Emperor had forced Cabelenus into the remote land of Schwarhan to control him, due to his rivalry with his younger brother, were enough to make Alicia uneasy.

“If His Highness does not see you as a burden, then you are not one.”

“….”

“Your words, Miss, would actually be a burden to His Highness.”

“I’m just anxious…”

Alicia hesitated, and Gajev narrowed his eyes. Though she had improved somewhat, it was clear that Alicia was still struggling to adjust. She needed something to boost her confidence.

“His Highness does not concern himself with things that have no value.”

“Things of no value?”

“The very fact that he spared your life speaks to that. You have enough value in His Highness’s eyes. You are absolutely not a burden to him. In fact, you are helping him.”

“Value…”

Alicia’s expression darkened further. Yet Gajev, unable to know what Alicia was thinking, remained silent.

“Do not think too deeply about it. Just accept it. Things will naturally fall into place, and you need not worry.”

“…Alright.”

Alicia lifted her head again, smiling. Gajev, not suspecting anything, smiled along with her.

“Thank you for understanding. Is there anything else you wish to know? Anything, really.”

“Anything else?”

Alicia tilted her head in curiosity.

“If you’re not planning to sleep yet, it would be good to pass the time with a conversation. Feel free to ask anything that piques your curiosity.”

“…Then, may I ask what Schwarhan is like?”

“Hmm, that’s quite a broad question, so it’s hard to give a simple answer. But when people refer to Schwarhan, they often call it a place where the blessings of the gods do not reach.”

Gajev nodded lightly.

“A place where the blessings of the gods do not reach. That’s quite an abstract expression.”

“Well, for better or worse, there’s no better way to describe Schwarhan.”

“Why is that?”

“Because the ground, frozen year-round by the endless winter, is not suitable for farming. Wild animals have adapted to the harsh environment, becoming stronger and more vicious, and even monsters appear from time to time. That’s why the saying about the blessings of the gods not reaching here exists.”

The mere thought of the past seemed to unsettle Gajev, as a deep wrinkle formed unconsciously on his smooth forehead.

“But now it’s one of the most prominent territories in the Empire.”

“That’s all thanks to His Highness. The people of Schwarhan don’t follow the Prime God out of nothing; they follow the Duke, His Highness, even more.”

“The Prime God, that would be…”

Alicia frowned, recalling the beautiful priestess Natalie. She had introduced herself as a priestess of the Prime God’s temple.

“It’s the state religion of the Blanche Empire. It’s an ancient religion, as old as the Empire itself. Personally, I don’t think it does anything remarkable, given its history, but…”

“You speak of the state religion so dismissively?”

“If I said that to the faithful in the capital, they’d probably call me a heretic. But now, it’s just us, so…”

“You don’t seem to like the Prime Religion much.”

“Their doctrine is one for the privileged.”

“The priestess I met before didn’t seem to be like that.”

Natalie, who had spoken of how all people were equal before the gods, had truly seemed the very epitome of a noble priestess. Alicia couldn’t imagine her ever discriminating against anyone based on their station.

“Natalie is a special person.”

“….”

“What about you, Miss?”

“Me?”

“Do you believe in the gods?”

Through the slits of his eyes, Gajev’s gaze flashed with curiosity. It wasn’t so much about Alicia’s character, but more about the secret she might hold regarding her powers that intrigued him.

“No.”

Alicia answered without even a moment’s pause.

“Such a quick answer.”

“If believing in the gods could make everything right, I would’ve believed long ago. But the gods only listen, they don’t act.”

“They listen?”

“That’s what my mother used to say. The gods are always watching us and listen to our prayers.”

“That’s an odd tale.”

Gajev quickly adjusted his glasses, the glint in his eyes now deeper with curiosity.

“It’s nothing more than a superstition, really. And even if the gods do exist, what’s the point if they only listen and do nothing? It only gives false hope, and then you despair when nothing happens.”

“You seem to resent the gods.”

“There’s no need to resent them. I simply think they were never there in the first place.”

Alicia gave a bitter smile. Her mother had believed in the gods until the moment she passed, but in the end, the gods never answered that faith. There was no reason to believe in them.

“…Did I sound too pessimistic?”

“No, not at all. I don’t believe in the gods either.”

Gajev shrugged lightly, then fiddled with some nearby paperwork. While his curiosity about Alicia’s secret remained, he knew it was not the time to press further. Given the vulnerable look on Alicia’s face, it seemed wrong to push her further. She was clearly carrying a great deal of emotion, and pressing too hard could lead her to break down.