An Unexpected Proposal

June 25, 2020

"Why are you here?"

Alicia’s eyes widened at the sight of Cabelenus.

"I just stopped by for a moment. I have to leave again soon."@@novelbin@@

"If you're busy, you don’t have to come all this way…"

She trailed off, furrowing her brows. There was only one reason why Cabelenus would come at this hour.

"…Did you hear the news?"

"…Yes."

Cabelenus hesitated briefly before nodding. Watching him, Alicia fidgeted with her fingers. Looking back, it hadn’t only been her child. Just as Lady Morco had said, the child had belonged to both of them. Cabelenus, too, had the right to feel something for it, and what he felt might be completely different from what she did. That thought alone weighed on her. It had never even truly existed, yet she couldn't shake the feeling that she had wronged Cabelenus somehow.

"Are you alright?"

Cabelenus gently cupped her cheek. His gaze, filled with unmistakable concern, made it impossible for Alicia to tell him that she had never wanted the child in the first place.

"I'm sorry."

"There’s nothing for you to apologize for."

His grip on her face tightened slightly. Seeing the desolate expression on her face left a bitter taste in his mouth. He hadn't forgotten his lieutenant’s advice.

"We have time. There’s no need to rush."

"You don’t have to comfort me."

"If you take it as comfort, then at least that’s something. I’m not very good at this. I don’t know what to say in situations like this."

Cabelenus let out a short, self-deprecating chuckle. Alicia hesitated before forcing a small smile and pressing her cheek against his large hand.

"There’s nothing to be comforted about. It was just a misunderstanding."

"It wasn’t your fault. Like you said, it was just a mistake."

"But… you must have been disappointed."

Her murmured words made Cabelenus shut his mouth. He hadn’t expected anything, so there was no reason for disappointment. But he couldn’t tell her that.

"I wasn’t disappointed."

"Are you sure?"

"If anything, it would have been troublesome. The timing isn’t ideal."

"…"

"Of course, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want a child with you."

Cabelenus clicked his tongue internally. Since when had he become so good at lying? The words left his mouth effortlessly, and he felt like a fool. But he had no choice. He was finally getting closer to Alicia. He knew that much. And knowing that, he didn't want to ruin the relationship they were building. He wanted to hold onto what they had, even if it meant pretending to be the man she expected.

"…I just didn’t want you to be sad."

At least that much was true. Cabelenus let out a bitter smile.

"I'm not sad."

"You don’t have to pretend to be strong in front of me."

"Do you really think I’d be sad?"

"Most people would be."

Repeating Gajev’s words, Cabelenus averted his gaze slightly. He was just saying what was expected, but the truth was, he didn’t know what the standard for "most people" even was.

"…I suppose so."

Alicia smiled as she lifted her head. The moment his hand left her cheek, the warmth disappeared with it.

"For now, just focus on resting. You need time to sort through your thoughts."

"Alright, I will."

"You haven’t eaten yet, have you? I brought something you might like. I’m not sure if it’ll be to your taste, though."

Cabelenus gently took her hand.

"Something I might like?"

Alicia didn’t pull away as she looked up at him.

"Studying in a situation like this would be ridiculous, and the weather isn't great for a walk."

There was something else he had considered, but he deliberately left it unsaid. He had no intention of calling James over or bringing up painting. Alicia spent enough time with that man in their lessons. There was no need to remind her of him now.

"I thought about different ways to cheer you up, but I couldn't come up with much. I’m terrible at this sort of thing."

"…"

"So I figured I’d bring you something you enjoyed eating before."

As he spoke, he carefully watched her face for any changes. He couldn’t shake the thought that he was making a fool of himself by trying to impress her with something as trivial as food.

"You really didn’t have to. It’s enough that you’re thinking of me."

"…"

"But since you went through the trouble, I’ll make sure to enjoy it."

"…Alright."

Even so, food wouldn’t be enough. Watching Alicia force a smile, Cabelenus let out a silent sigh. He had tried pressing Gajev for more information, but it was useless. Alicia never showed much interest in anything, making it nearly impossible to pinpoint her preferences. The best he could do was rely on Lady Morco’s knowledge and bring the foods she had seen Alicia eat in the past.

"In that case, you should eat with me, Your Highness."

"Me?"

"You need to eat too, no matter how busy you are. If it’s not too much trouble, stay and have a meal with me."

Slowly, Alicia intertwined her fingers with his. The soft brush of skin between them sent a chill up Cabelenus’s spine, but he didn’t pull away. He wasn’t sure if this could truly be considered comfort, but at the very least, he wanted to offer it to him. Even if she had no idea what he was really thinking.

***

‘Is it because I’m full?’

Alicia hesitated before taking another bite, chewing slowly. Schwarhan’s people preferred meat-heavy meals, so there was always an abundance of hearty dishes on the table. Tonight’s main course was a T-bone steak, served with mashed potatoes. It wasn’t an unfamiliar meal. When she had first arrived in Schwarhan, she had been impressed by the flavors. Though simple and rustic, the dishes allowed the ingredients’ natural taste to shine.

But today, the steak didn’t taste as good.

Instead of savoring the juicy meat, she found herself overwhelmed by its gamey scent. If Cabelenus weren’t watching, she might have spit it out right then and there. Suppressing her discomfort, Alicia forced herself to swallow with a sip of water, sneaking a glance at Cabelenus. She had known for a while that her stomach had been feeling strange lately, but she had always managed to endure it.

This time, though, it was unbearable.

"Is something wrong? Does it taste off?"

"No, it’s… just really delicious."

"Eat as much as you want. There’s plenty."

"Alright, I will."

At Cabelenus’s urging, Alicia took another piece and put it in her mouth—only to regret it immediately.

The moment she registered the flavor, her face contorted involuntarily.

"What is it? You don’t like it?"

She hadn’t thought it was that bad a moment ago. Now, she sat frozen, hand over her mouth, unable to react.

"If you can’t eat it, just spit it out."

Without hesitation, Cabelenus rose and pressed a napkin to her lips.

"A-Ah, no, I—"

"Spit it out."

Cabelenus’s grip tightened slightly. Alicia had intended to refuse, but his stubborn insistence left her no choice but to surrender. No, it wasn’t even that—she had been determined to swallow it, yet she simply couldn’t force herself to.

"Are you alright?"

Cabelenus only released her after she had spit out the food.

"Y-Yes."

Alicia squeezed her eyes shut, unable to look at him as he casually balled up the napkin and set it aside. As if it wasn’t humiliating enough that she couldn’t hold her composure, now she had to endure showing him this unsightly side of herself.

"Are you alright, my lady?"

Lady Morco, having assessed the situation, silently handed Alicia a glass of water. Alicia accepted it, nodding repeatedly as she held onto the cup.

"The food doesn't seem to be the issue."

Cabelenus had taken a piece of the remaining steak from her plate, chewing thoughtfully. It tasted no different from the ones he had eaten before.

"It’s just… my stomach isn’t feeling well."

Alicia lifted her head in response to his words. Rinsing her mouth with water helped slightly, but the lingering nausea refused to fade. The stench of meat clung stubbornly to her senses.

"Get rid of it. Now."

Cabelenus pushed the plate away with an irritated gesture. The servants, startled by his sharp command, hurried to clear the table.

Lady Morco, who had been quietly observing, noticed the subtle shift in Alicia’s expression once the food was removed. Without hesitation, she opened the window. A rush of icy air swept through the room, making Alicia instinctively shrink back. However, the sharp chill seemed to ease her expression.

Lady Morco’s face twisted in thought. The food wasn’t spoiled. The issue wasn’t the meal itself—Alicia simply couldn’t stomach it. Just like morning sickness.

"Open all the windows. Ventilate the room immediately."

Cabelenus had come to the same realization. The moment he issued the command, the servants flung open the remaining windows. Cold wind, mixed with flakes of snow, howled into the room.

"She’ll need something to cover herself," Lady Morco murmured.

Cabelenus responded by draping his own coat over Alicia’s shoulders. Only then, after what felt like an eternity, was she finally able to suppress the nausea and meet his gaze.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I’m fine."

"When did this start?"

"The physician said there was nothing wrong. It wasn’t this bad this morning."

Her voice was quick and urgent, as if she wanted to dispel his concerns. She didn’t want to worry him over something like this.

"You look like this, and you call that 'nothing wrong'?"

Cabelenus’s face twisted with barely restrained anger. Alicia hastily reached out and grasped the hem of his coat.

"It’s a peculiar reaction, but they assured me my health isn’t in danger."

The nausea had begun as a mild discomfort, but it had gradually worsened over the past few days. She wasn’t someone prone to food aversions, yet there were suddenly entire dishes she couldn’t bring herself to eat.

"Reaction? What kind of reaction?"

"Well…"

She didn’t want to bring up pregnancy again. Alicia hesitated, avoiding his gaze. But Cabelenus was nothing if not persistent.

"Lady Morco."

"Yes, Your Highness?"

"Explain."

Cabelenus’s jaw tightened as he gave the command. His darkened eyes gleamed with restrained fury.

"As the lady has said, we consulted the physician multiple times. Each time, the diagnosis remained unchanged—there are no health concerns."

"A physician who can’t even diagnose an illness is worthless."

His voice was laced with irritation, his patience wearing thin.

"They only noted that her symptoms resemble those of early pregnancy."

"She’s not pregnant."

"That was their conclusion as well, Your Highness."

Lady Morco’s voice was calm, but in truth, she found it just as perplexing. Alicia’s symptoms all pointed toward pregnancy, yet the tests and magical diagnostic tools showed no signs of it.

"Could the physician have misdiagnosed her?"

"It’s not impossible," she admitted. "But both the physician’s expertise and the magical diagnostic tools confirm the same result. The likelihood of an error is extremely low."

"Call another physician."

His narrowed eyes gleamed dangerously. Lady Morco immediately lowered her head in obedience.

"The one we’ve consulted is the best in Schwarhan."

"Do not make me repeat myself."

Cabelenus growled lowly, his voice carrying a thinly veiled threat. Lady Morco wisely chose not to argue further and simply nodded.

"I will summon our family’s physician."

"If they can’t find an answer, call someone else."

"Understood, Your Highness."

Lady Morco had no objections. She, too, wanted answers.

"I really am fine."

Alicia smiled faintly, as if to reassure him.

"I am not."

Cabelenus brushed his knuckles against her cheek, his jaw set tightly. Alicia was already pale by nature, but when her complexion lost even a hint of color, she looked utterly ghostly. Before he could stop himself, he pulled her into his arms.

"You’ll feel better soon."

"Of course. I have to. After all, you went through so much trouble to help me regain my health. It would be a shame if I wasted away again."

Cabelenus carefully smoothed her hair, his fingers moving with a practiced ease.

"For someone who 'can’t eat,' you certainly ate a lot today."

"You don’t even know how many oranges I had today."

Alicia chuckled sheepishly. She had meant to reassure him, and though her words were lighthearted, they weren’t untrue. She had never been a big eater, but for some reason, the oranges today had tasted especially good. She had eaten so many that the maids peeling them had struggled to keep up.

"I never knew you liked fruit."

Cabelenus studied her intently. The fact that there were still things about her he didn’t know left an unpleasant feeling in his chest.