An Unexpected Proposal

June 29, 2020

"Lately, I’ve been craving something sweet and tangy."

Alicia smiled awkwardly.

"Then we should bring you more fruit."

"I already have plenty."

"Besides fruit, what else do you like?"

"In terms of food?"

"Anything."

Cabelenus nodded slightly. He had never been in a position where he needed to remember anyone’s preferences. But with Alicia, it was different. No, it wasn’t just about knowing what she liked—he didn’t want to be unaware of anything about her.

"Well…"

Under his persistent gaze, Alicia took a deep breath. The sudden question caught her off guard.

"I think… I like drawing."

If she liked it, she liked it. There was no reason to phrase it as if she were unsure. Alicia frowned slightly at her own vague wording, but Cabelenus didn’t seem to mind.

"And?"

"I like taking walks… and I enjoy lessons as well."

"Anything else?"

"Hmm…"

As Alicia mentally listed her favorite things, she hesitated. She realized that she knew just as little about him as he did about her.

"Why did you stop? Do you not want to say?"

"No."

She quickly shook her head.

"Then?"

"…What about you?"

Alicia looked at him with slight nervousness.

"Me?"

"What do you like, Your Highness?"

"I’ve never really thought about it. Why do you ask?"

"Why did you ask me?"

The woman who once trembled in fear now held her head high and questioned him in return. Cabelenus found that quite amusing, and a faint smile tugged at his lips.

"Because I want to know more about you."

"That’s exactly why I asked you."

"…"

Of course, that smile didn’t last long. Cabelenus barely resisted the urge to reach for her. She had always known how to provoke him—whether intentionally or not. If that was the case, he had no choice but to do the same.

A flicker of amusement danced in his golden eyes.

"I think it’s you."

"…M-Me?"

"I’ve never given much thought to what I like, but if I had to name the one thing I’ve been paying the most attention to lately, it would be you."

"…"

"If I had to describe something I like, it would also be you."

"…"

If Jerpeneus had seen this, he probably would have laughed in his face. The great Wolf of Schwarhan, carefully choosing his words while gauging the reaction of a woman much smaller than him—it was a ridiculous sight. And yet, Cabelenus couldn’t bring himself to care. He was too captivated by Alicia’s reaction.

Her face was like a lake disturbed by a single stone—his words rippling through her features. It was so blatantly obvious what she was thinking.

"And what about you?"

"W-What?"

"Do I count as something you like?"

"I…"

Alicia’s expression wavered. She told herself to be cautious, but when she met his gaze, she found she didn’t want to lie.

He liked honesty.

And she didn’t want to do something he disliked.

"So you don’t like me?"

"N-No! That’s not it…!"

"Then, which is it?"

The truth was, she wanted to say it. She wanted to see what expression he would make when she said it aloud.

"…I like you."

Her face flushed an impossibly deep red. Her eyes darted about, unable to focus, and her body stiffened with tension.

But she refused to lower her head.

Instead, she watched him closely, trying to commit every detail to memory. The slight furrow of his brows as if caught off guard. The faint redness tinging the edges of his ears—so subtle that she wouldn’t have noticed if she weren’t looking for it. The low, heated exhale escaping through his clenched jaw. And the corners of his lips, twitching upward despite himself.

Alicia’s fingers fidgeted instinctively.

She wanted to draw this moment.

She wanted to remember it forever.

"I like you."

"…"

"Truly, I like you."

The weight of her words, heavy with restrained emotion, made it difficult to even say them aloud.

But she had to.

The moment the words left her lips, it was as if they fired a signal—cracking the wall of patience she had carefully built.

"I still feel like I’m dreaming. I’m scared that I’ll wake up at any moment. But no matter how afraid I am… I still want more."

Because it was you.

Alicia smiled as she spoke, and Cabelenus’s expression twisted in response.

It was strange. He understood his emotions well, yet he couldn’t define what this was.

She had said it was ‘liking’ him. But his instincts told him it wasn’t just that.

A woman who looked like she was on the verge of collapsing, yet still smiled at him so shyly—she was certainly something precious to him. But just ‘liking’ her wasn’t enough.

He needed something more. Something deeper, more definitive.

But he didn’t have the words for it.

There was only one thing he could do.

Cabelenus pulled Alicia into his arms, holding her tightly.

And, over and over again, he let himself take in her warmth.

***

"How is your body? Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes. I’m fine."

Alicia nodded easily, but Lady Morco’s expression remained grim.

The list of foods Alicia could no longer eat was growing.

Now, the only thing she consumed consistently was fruit—but even that was becoming selective. At first, she had eaten all kinds of fruit without complaint, but now, she could only stomach those with an intensely sour taste.

"Would you like to try this?"

"What is it?"

"It’s lemon juice mixed with sparkling water. I thought you might enjoy it. Try it—if you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish it."

Lady Morco’s gentle tone reassured Alicia as she handed her the glass.

Alicia eyed it reluctantly but, not wanting to reject Lady Morco’s kindness, took a cautious sip.

"…Oh?"

Her eyes widened.

"Is it alright?"

"Yes. It’s delicious."

Alicia cradled the glass with both hands, smiling brightly.

Lady Morco smiled in return.

But inside, her heart was sinking.

No matter how she looked at it, she couldn’t be wrong.

All of Alicia’s symptoms mirrored those of a pregnant woman.

Even this drink—plain lemon water, with no added sugar—was something many expectant mothers craved.

Yet not a single physician had been able to confirm a pregnancy.

They all said the same thing.

Her symptoms were suspicious, but there was no evidence of a child.

'What exactly is the problem?'

Lady Morco’s eyes narrowed.

Alicia was growing thinner by the day. If she continued to eat so little, she would collapse sooner or later.

"Is there anything you’d like to eat?"

"Something I’d like to eat?"

"You have to eat something. If this continues, you’ll collapse."

The physician had given her a nutritional injection again today, but that couldn’t be a long-term solution. The longer Alicia struggled to eat, the more restless Cabelenus became. Everyone in Schwarhan Castle was on edge, watching for any sign of his temper. If Alicia were to collapse, something terrible was bound to happen.

"I shouldn’t tell His Highness that I barely ate, should I?"

"The news has probably already reached him by now."

Lady Morco let out a sigh, barely holding back her exasperation.

Even in the middle of managing his duties, Cabelenus kept a sharp eye on Alicia’s meals. He wasn’t just monitoring what she ate—if she showed the slightest preference for something, he would have it sent to her in excess. By this evening or tomorrow, the palace would undoubtedly be overflowing with lemons and sparkling water.

"…I’m sorry. It feels like I’m making things difficult for everyone."

"You’re not refusing food on purpose."

"Still, I feel bad for being such a burden."@@novelbin@@

"It’s alright. What matters is that you take care of yourself."

If it wasn’t pregnancy, then it was likely a psychological issue. Lady Morco softened her tone and gently took Alicia’s hand. It felt thinner than before, which made her heart ache.

"If there’s anything at all you’d like to eat, just let me know."

Alicia had never been picky with food. Normally, she ate whatever was served without complaint. But that very trait was making things difficult now. With no clear preferences, it was nearly impossible to find something she could eat.

"Actually…"

After a long pause, Alicia spoke hesitantly.

Lady Morco immediately seized the opportunity.

"Is there something you’d like?"

"There is… but you won’t be able to get it."

"If it’s something you want, I’ll find a way to get it—even if I have to cross a frozen wasteland."

Lady Morco was just as anxious as Cabelenus. She hadn’t scolded him for stockpiling useless fruit because, like him, she was desperate to get Alicia to eat even one more bite.

"…I want soup."

"Pardon?"

"A soup my mother used to make for me."

Alicia’s voice grew smaller, and she lowered her head.

It was impossible. Her mother was gone.

Yet, lately, she kept remembering that soup. The more she thought about how she could never taste it again, the more unbearable the craving became—until it brought tears to her eyes.

"I’ll find a way to make it, so please don’t cry."

"I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’m like this. I just…"

Alicia clamped her lips shut, unable to finish her sentence.

Tears slid down her cheeks, staining the fabric of her dress.

She had felt strange for a while now, yet she couldn’t control her emotions.

'I hate this. I really hate this.'

Alicia clenched her eyes shut.

She had told herself she would be fine, but every time her body changed, fear crept up on her.

"The physician will be coming again tomorrow."

"What about my painting lesson?"

"Your health comes first. I’m sure you understand."

"…Yeah."

She wanted to paint more than ever, but she had no choice.

Alicia fidgeted with her fingers, recalling the unfinished portrait of Cabelenus in her mind.

"And about the soup your mother made," Lady Morco continued, "do you remember what was in it?"

"Why?"

"I’d like to try making it."

"That’s impossible. My mother passed away a long time ago."

Alicia shook her head weakly.

"That doesn’t mean we can’t at least try."

"But…"

She was about to refuse out of habit, but Lady Morco’s determined gaze made her pause.

Wasn’t it better to try than to give up without making an effort?

That was something Lady Morco had always taught her.

"Giving up without trying would be a waste."

"I don’t know much about it… Would that be alright?"

"That’s fine. Anything you can remember will help."

"Then… I’ll try to recall as much as I can."

Alicia nodded slowly.

She still believed it was impossible.

But a small part of her wanted to try.

If nothing else, she knew she could eat it.

No matter how bad it tasted, she could eat as much of it as she wanted.

"Take your time. There’s no rush."

"I don’t remember much. It was so long ago… but a few things come to mind."

"Can you tell me what you remember?"

"My mother used to eat it often when she was pregnant with me."

Alicia’s gaze dropped to her lap.

She thought she had been doing well, but remembering her mother made her eyes sting.

"When she was carrying you?"

"My grandmother ate it often too… when she was pregnant with my mother."

"So it’s a family tradition?"

"I don’t know. My mother didn’t really have a family to pass things down."

"…"

"But she wasn’t… a bad person."

Alicia flinched, realizing how defensive she sounded.

She still remembered the whispers.

People had always called her mother a low-born woman.

No matter how refined she appeared, they sneered that she would never escape her savage blood.

But to Alicia, her mother was neither lowly nor unclean.

She was strong.

She had endured cruelty and scorn, standing tall and unwavering in her beliefs.

"…She only wanted to protect me. That’s all."

Everyone had mocked her mother.

But they had also feared her.

Her strength had made her a tool for power while simultaneously serving as a shield.

And in the end, the one who had shattered that shield…

Was none other than Alicia herself.