An Unexpected Proposal

July 27, 2020

“I wanted to tell him not to get engaged.”

Everything was painful.

But in the end, the thing that tormented Alicia the most was her own helplessness.

Even though the words had risen to her throat, she couldn’t say them.

Because, ultimately, she had nothing to offer Cabelenus in return.

“Would I have been able to speak if I had even a little power left?”

Her closed eyelids trembled, her lashes already damp.

She had chosen to be alone.

Yet, contradictorily, she desperately wished someone were here with her.

Being alone in a dark room, swallowing her pain in solitude, kept dragging up the memories of that hellish time she had tried to forget.

She curled into herself, as if to suppress the resurfacing past.

And then—

A sensation.

A faint movement deep within her belly.

Alicia stiffened completely.

Hesitantly, she reached down, pressing a hand over her abdomen.

The sensation was fleeting. It had already disappeared.

But something about it unsettled her.

“Could it be…?”

Her fingers remained pressed to her stomach as she swallowed dryly.

The physician had told her she wasn’t pregnant.

Yet, the symptoms she was experiencing could hardly be explained otherwise.

And most of all—

That fleeting energy she had just felt…

Alicia’s gaze slowly lowered.

It was only a possibility.

But the mere thought of it brought tears to her eyes.

She bit her lip hard.

It could have been nothing.

A mere figment of her imagination.

Yet, at this moment, she desperately longed for someone—someone who wouldn’t demand anything of her, who would simply love her and be loved in return.

She ran her hand over her stomach, searching for a response.

But nothing came.

"Why won’t you answer me? Is it because I said I didn’t want you? Or…"

Her hand, which had been gently exploring her abdomen, suddenly stopped.

If there was a child…

And if that child possessed the same power she once had…

Her mind went completely blank.

"…It’s because of me."

Alicia exhaled shakily, her face twisting.

Everything suddenly made sense.

The reason she couldn’t sense the presence of a child was because—

She had denied it.

The child had simply followed her will.

Realizing this, she couldn’t hold back her sobs any longer.

There was no way a child in the womb could be aware of such things.

Yet, just as naturally as breathing, the child had obeyed its mother’s unconscious wish.

A child, not even born, had already learned to be cautious.

"I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…"

Alicia shut her eyes, whispering apologies over and over.

And in that moment—

A fluttering sensation.

A movement.

"Ah…"

She gasped, clamping her hands over her mouth as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

This time, it was undeniable.

It was real.

A child.

A life.

Inside her.

Overwhelmed, Alicia pressed her hands to her face, sobbing uncontrollably.

She had thought she didn’t need a child.

But now—

That presence felt larger than anything else.

She wasn’t alone.

"Baby…"

Her voice trembled, filled with raw emotion.

And as if in answer—

Another soft movement.

"I want to see you. I need you. I truly do."

She wrapped her arms around her belly as if to embrace the life within.

And the tiny, responding flutter filled her with warmth.

***

Where is this…?

Alicia looked around, dazed.

She was certain she had fallen asleep in her chamber.

Yet now, all she could see was an endless expanse of white.

A snowfield.

No walls. No ceiling.

Just an infinite, pure white world.

She cautiously took a step forward.

With each footfall, the snow crunched beneath her.

Her breath, visible in the cold air, formed tiny clouds before dissipating.

Yet strangely, she felt no chill.

Why?

She stopped walking and turned her head—

And froze.

A shadowy figure stood in the distance, watching her.

She wasn’t sure when it had appeared.

But it had been there, quietly observing her.

Alicia hesitated before taking a slow step toward it.

It was an eerie figure—

Yet she wasn’t afraid.

Strangely, it felt… familiar.

"…Hello?"

Her voice came out awkwardly.

She didn’t know what else to say, so she laughed.

The shadow simply stared at her in silence.

"You’re… really small."

She crouched down carefully.

She hadn’t noticed from a distance, but now that she was closer—

The shadow was tiny.

It looked as though she could lift it with one hand.

"Do you want to come here?"

She wasn’t sure why she said it.

Maybe because this whole situation felt too unreal.

"Are you scared?"

The shadow shook its head.

"Then…?"

No response.

"Can you not speak?"

This time, the shadow nodded.

Alicia thought it was almost like a well-trained puppy.

Though its body was nothing but a pitch-black silhouette, it had the form of a four-legged beast.

A dog, perhaps?

If she had to categorize it, it seemed closest to a dog.

"But you can understand me, can’t you?"

She extended a cautious hand.

And immediately—

The shadow pressed its face into her palm.

Like a small creature seeking affection.

"Do you… like me?"

The shadow nodded.

"But we just met today."

The shadow shook its head.

"We haven’t?"

A nod.

Alicia furrowed her brows.

Even though they were communicating, the lack of words frustrated her.

"Who are you?"

The shadow simply gazed up at her.

As if waiting for her to realize something.

Alicia’s lips parted slightly.

And then, at last, she saw its eyes.

Gray.

The same gray passed down from her grandmother to her mother.

And from her mother… to her.

"It can’t be…"

Her voice trembled.

The shadow hesitated before placing its small front paws on her knee.

It was as if it wanted something from her.

Alicia hesitated, unsure of what to do.

Then, carefully—

She lifted the small shadow into her arms.

It blinked slowly, as if taking in the sensation, before wagging its fluffy tail.

"You…"

What was she supposed to say?

Alicia swallowed nervously as the tiny black creature gazed at her with overwhelming fondness.

Yet, despite her uncertainty, it showed no hesitation—rubbing its small face against her like an affectionate pet, completely unconcerned by her awkwardness.

For a moment, Alicia just held it, unsure of what to do, before swallowing hard once more.

The creature was small—fragile even.

Yet, its warmth was undeniable.

And that realization gave her the courage to speak.

"…Honestly, I don’t know what to say to you right now. But I’ve wanted to apologize for a long time."

Its ears perked up at her words.

Alicia hesitated before gently pulling it closer, patting its back in an awkward attempt at comfort.

The first few strokes were hesitant, but as she continued, the motion became more natural.

"I’m sorry… for saying I didn’t want you."

And thank you… for being here with me.

A faint smile touched her lips.

The creature looked up at her, tilting its head as if trying to gauge her emotions.

Then, without warning, it buried itself into her embrace, its tail wagging furiously.

Alicia doubted it truly understood her words.

But it didn’t matter.

It was simply happy.

And that was enough.

She ran her hand over its head.

It wasn’t particularly cute.

A creature shrouded in black shadows, with an indistinct shape—it wasn’t something that should have drawn her affection.

Yet, watching it desperately try to please her, Alicia couldn’t help but feel drawn to it.

It wasn’t acting out of knowledge or power.

It was purely instinctual.

It simply wanted her approval.

Her touch traced along its face, hesitant at first, then firmer.

She knew now.

The familiar energy surrounding this small form—

This was no mysterious entity.

This was her child.

The realization struck her the moment the shadowy veil around the creature dissolved.

And at last, she saw it clearly.

A wolf pup.

With fluffy red fur and piercing gray eyes.

Alicia inhaled sharply.

"Is this… your true form?"

The pup blinked its round, inquisitive eyes before nodding hesitantly.

Her throat tightened.

Its tail, which had been lowered in uncertainty, twitched upward slightly, clearly gauging her reaction.

"You’re beautiful."

"…"

"You don’t have to be afraid. You’re more than beautiful enough."

At just those words, the hesitant tail lifted a little higher.

Alicia didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at how plainly its emotions showed.

This child—her child—was hiding its true form not because it wanted to, but because it thought that was what she wanted.

Just as it had hidden its existence before, trying to fulfill her unconscious wish.

It had wanted her to recognize it.

It had longed to be seen.

"…Even now, you’re watching me so carefully."

You shouldn’t have to do that.

Alicia’s fingers curled slightly.

"You don’t need to look at me like that. You don’t need to be afraid of my reaction."

She bit her lip.

This—this was what she hated most about herself.

The habit of constantly reading the moods of others.

And now, to see that same behavior in her child—

It made her chest ache.

"My baby… you don’t have to try so hard for me."

"…"

"You don’t need to use your power for my sake anymore."

Alicia’s voice wavered as she forced herself to meet the pup’s gaze.

Its power wasn’t infinite.

It would run out one day.

And the ending that would follow was too cruel to bear.

"I don’t need your power."

The pup let out a distressed whimper, nuzzling into her chest.

That was when Alicia realized—

It was scared.

"I’m not saying I don’t need you. I just…"

She trailed off.

Every time she looked into those innocent, all-consuming eyes, she saw herself.

"Kiiing…"

Its small body trembled as it let out another faint whimper.

Alicia panicked, fumbling for words.

"No, no, that’s not what I meant! I meant that just having you here is enough!"

The pup’s ears perked up slightly.

"You being by my side… that’s enough for me. So don’t push yourself for my sake."

It stared at her, silent and wide-eyed.

Alicia smiled, though her heart twisted at the sight.

It kept watching her carefully, the way she had always watched others.

It was desperate for reassurance.

Just like she had been.

"You don’t have to try so hard. I’ll love you no matter what. No matter what you do—or don’t do—I’ll never hate you."

"…"

"How could I, when you’re so precious?"

She pressed a soft kiss to its round forehead.

The pup blinked in surprise, then slowly wagged its tail, cautiously at first, then faster.

Even though it still had the form of a wolf, to Alicia, it was simply her child.

"I don’t need your power. I just need you. That’s all."

She could tell it didn’t fully understand.

It tilted its head, eyes filled with confusion.

Alicia considered explaining further—

But instead, she simply stroked its head.

Because no matter how powerful it was—

It was still just a child.

And explaining such things to a child who only acted on instinct…

It would be too difficult.

But—

Her eyes wavered.@@novelbin@@

She couldn’t let this continue.

Power like this wasn’t a gift.

It was a curse.

"If you don’t use your power, I’ll keep spoiling you forever. How about that? Can you do that for me?"

At last, understanding flickered in its gaze.

Hope.

Excitement.

It nodded eagerly.

Alicia let out a quiet, self-deprecating laugh.

She thought she was comforting her child.

But in truth, it was her child who was comforting her.

Its warmth was small, faint.

And yet, as she gazed into those innocent, trusting eyes, she knew—

This child would always be hers.

No matter what.

And no matter what happened, it would always, always be on her side.