Eighteen’s Bed

After that, someone came to our house every night. In the early morning, at irregular times, they would quietly linger by the front gate before leaving, and the housekeeper discovered them. There was no doorbell, so I asked how she knew, and she said she watched the CCTV. But I didn’t bother to check the CCTV myself. It was obvious who it was.

“I’m never going out. Do you think I’m crazy enough to go out and end up being messed with?”

To explain my situation: it’s running away. No, maybe it’s exile. Or is it more like locking the gates and holding out until the end? If you ask whether this is because I’m afraid of Go Yohan, the answer is ‘yes.’ But I knew this siege was the wisest choice. Go Yohan doesn’t respond to direct confrontation.

“Face-to-face, I’ll be the one looking foolish. Why would I bother meeting him?”

However, this siege has a big flaw. There’s nothing to do, so eventually, I end up thinking about Go Yohan.

The expression on Go Yohan’s face that I couldn’t see that day, only the part of him beneath the neck that I saw. That image kept haunting me like a ghost. I regretted not lifting my head back then. I should have looked. I should have forced myself to look, even if I had to be stubborn. My imagination bound me tighter with every passing moment.

What kind of expression did Go Yohan have at that time?

My emotions couldn’t be simply dismissed with one word. The many complex feelings, situations, and realities swirled around, like colored clay, each piece stuck to itself and not mixing. It would’ve been better if it had all merged into gray. But before the colors mixed, Go Yohan always managed to do something that disrupted it all. When the gray clay is covered with color, swirling, twisting lines are formed. Like paint, poorly mixed and sucked into a drain.

Every morning, the housekeeper would silently watch me, and after a week, she finally asked:

“Are you really okay not going to school?”

The question stung. It felt like I was being scolded, and I hurried to come up with an excuse.

“I’m sick. I have a really bad cold lately.”

The housekeeper, who shared the same space with me, must have quickly noticed my lie. But she didn’t seem to mind much. She just nodded once and didn’t ask again.

Actually, I did go to school a few days ago. The boredom and the hellish imaginations that constantly haunted me were suffocating.

I had put on my uniform, which had a strange smell since it had been sitting unused for so long, and made my way to the school gate. But the sound of the bell and the raucous noise of teenagers weighed heavily on me, pushing me away. In the end, I couldn’t even go back home, wandering aimlessly around the neighborhood, caught in the housekeeper’s watchful eye. I didn’t return home until 12:30 PM.

With nothing to do, whenever I lay down on the bed, that scene would always come to mind like a nightmare following me. Go Yohan, below the neck. In my dreams, I tried to lift my head to see, but I just couldn’t.

When I woke up from the sleep I had drifted into, I found myself drenched in sweat, like it had been raining. My room wasn’t even hot. My body was burning. I wondered if I was actually coming down with a fever, so I quickly washed off the sticky feeling. As I walked out of my room in my shower robe, I ran into the housekeeper, who casually said:

“She asked about your phone.”

Am I the only one embarrassed? Feeling awkward, I quickly untied the robe.

“It’s broken. I’ll buy a new one soon, please tell her.”

“Okay.”

After drinking some water and changing, I noticed the lingering smell of Go Yohan on me. I shouldn’t have borrowed that body wash. I should have just told myself to wash with water. So frustrating. To vent, I threw the robe on the floor. The sound of it falling was the only release for my anger.

“……”

Why does that bastard keep showing up, getting under my skin? Everything had calmed down. Things were going well. Or no, not in the past tense, it’s still going well. Yes, it is.

So, as I thought deeply, I filled the sink with water. When it was deep enough to cover my hands, I dunked my head in. Then, my thoughts began to quiet down.

I held out until graduation day. Somehow, I managed to hold out.

****

The day before graduation, I finally turned my phone on. To my surprise, no one had contacted me. I was speechless for a moment at the quiet screen. I guess this is what my social circle really looks like. Considering all the sneaky things I did, it’s no wonder people would dislike me.

I had blocked Go Yohan, so I didn’t know if he had tried to contact me or not. Either way, I didn’t care. He had been sneaking around our house like a thief all night, so I wasn’t interested. Or rather, I pretended not to be interested.

At that moment, a delayed message came through. It was from my homeroom teacher.

“Jun, I’m sorry.”

It was from my teacher. I could feel a wave of misplaced hope in those few short words. For a moment, I actually felt sorry. Had the days I spent hiding from them been like those of a stranded person, walking through the desert without water?

I looked at the clock. 9 PM. It was a terribly inconvenient time. If only I had found the message five minutes earlier. I hesitated for a moment before deciding to send a short reply.

“I’m fine, and don’t worry about me.”

After sending the message, I turned to get some water, but right then, my phone rang. As expected, it was my homeroom teacher. I hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath and answered the phone.

-Jun, why haven’t you been answering? I’ve been so worried!

“I’ve been really sick.”

-Oh, goodness...

“I’m sorry. Were you really worried?”

-Jun, I’m really sorry. I... I thought... Well, I really shouldn’t have assumed things.

“It’s fine.”

The teacher seemed so apologetic, I couldn’t help but feel even more guilty. I wanted to tell them about the acceptance news to ease the awkwardness, but I feared Go Yohan would hear about it, so I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I just kept repeating that it was fine, like a parrot.

And then, the day from hell came.

This time, I had another nightmare about the headless figure and woke up, only to realize I was still in the nightmare. I barely got up, washed myself, tugged at my school tie, and sighed. I could feel my lower lip quivering from the breath I exhaled.

“Don’t go to college, become a civil servant.”

“......”

“You’re good at studying. Study more and join as a civil servant through the high school special recruitment. That’s your way. You must’ve already spent all the money for your grandmother’s treatment anyway.”

It was an unnecessary intrusion. I knew that, yet I said it anyway. Ugh, if I hadn’t wiped my face with the back of my hand to hide my expression, I would’ve probably shown my disgust openly.

“Ah, uh… thank you.”

“I'm going now.”

Before I did something even stupider, I took my leave. Uh… From a distance, I could feel Han Taesan still wanting to talk, but I left without looking back. And as I felt his annoying presence fade, I thought to myself that this would probably be the last time I’d see him.

When I reached the entrance of the auditorium, it was already packed with people. The path was blocked by parents in their fancy clothes. Even if I fought my way through, I was sure I’d only see things I didn’t want to. The thought of it sickened me, and I quickly gave up. All I needed was to take a picture of the graduation ceremony with my phone camera.

I turned around, positioned myself so the graduation banner would be in the shot, and turned on the camera. Click. The photo was taken with a brief flash. When I checked the screen, it turned out quite well.

“…The speech from Class 2-3’s An Ji-Soo, who earned the highest marks this year, will now begin as part of the successful celebration of graduating from high school…”

Ah, I’m glad I didn’t go in. I glared into the auditorium with a thoroughly disgusted face. And at that moment, of all times, why, why, did I end up locking eyes with Go Yohan, who had turned around? I should’ve remembered that Go Yohan was the tallest in the school. Of course, he would be standing in the back.

“……”

I felt my pupils widen. The faint sunlight in the air pierced into my eyes. The sharp light blurred my vision, and I squinted. Run away. My survival instincts screamed through electric signals. I covered one eye with my palm. Run away. When our eyes met, Go Yohan turned his body completely. Reflexively, I lowered my head to avoid looking at his face. His feet came into view as he pushed through the crowd, drawing closer.

Run away!

The moment I saw the tips of his shoes, my feet finally left the ground.

I ran. I just ran, blindly.

But my body instinctively found its way to a familiar place and direction. The hallway I knew well, the stairs I knew well. I grabbed the railing, gasping for air as I climbed. I heard the sound of footsteps pounding fiercely behind me. Rapid, urgent footsteps.

“Ha, ha…”

In extreme situations, the body works miracles. I swallowed my exhausted breath and ran again. The sound of my running and the footsteps chasing me didn’t quite match, as they rapidly closed the distance. I couldn’t see, so I didn’t know how far he was. Terrified, my eyes searched for an empty classroom.

I found a random classroom, opened the door, sighed in relief that it was open, and quickly closed it. I crouched down beneath the desk, holding onto its legs.

I sat quietly, focusing on my breathing, trying to be as still as possible.

The world outside was eerily quiet. After a few minutes of that stillness, I started to feel reassured. It was just my imagination. Go Yohan hadn’t followed me. It was just the phantom echo my delusions had created. I felt oddly comforted by that belief.

Still, cautious as always, I slowly lowered my body to sit on the floor without making a sound.

“Damn, that scared me…”

“……Jun.”

The reassurance I had given myself was instantly shattered. My whole body stiffened. The sound came from behind me. I moved only my neck, turning slowly.

There, panting, was Go Yohan.

“……”

He took a step closer. Another step. With each step, the ground beneath us seemed to vibrate. The vibrations traveled up my hand that was still pressed against the floor and shot into my brain. But my brain, already dead, didn’t react. Even before Go Yohan got right in front of me and lowered his body suddenly.

“……”

I only thought to myself, “It’s coming.”

Instinctively, I squeezed my eyes shut and raised my hands to protect my head. I shivered in the dark for what seemed like forever, but the pain never came. It was strange. My heart was pounding wildly. I couldn’t hold it in and finally opened my eyes slightly.

And what I saw was beyond belief.

“……Go, Go Yohan.”

“Thank you, thank you, really thank you…”

Go Yohan had buried his head beneath me, holding onto my legs. The leg he was holding had gone numb, the blood no longer flowing. I could tell by his voice that this wasn’t something Go Yohan had planned.

“Thank you…”

My dead brain couldn’t process his words of gratitude. I was too shocked. It was inevitable that all my thought processes had ceased. My brain had been tortured for so long.

“You bastard, no, I… I didn’t come here to see you!”

Still stunned, I shoved Go Yohan’s shoulder hard, who had buried his head beneath me. As he fell back, I saw his face lift up, and for the first time, I saw the face I had been searching for in my nightmares.

That face.

I couldn’t describe it with words, nor could I draw it. It was a face that could only be remembered with my eyes. The blackened brain turned to ash. It was such an overwhelming face that I couldn’t even store it in my memories. I stuttered, “Uh, uh…”

The pain in my eyes from the light started to fade, and the world became clearer.

It was like the world was trying to remind me to remember this moment.

I saw Go Yohan’s true form, the one above the neck, which I had been suffering over in my mind.

A nightmare, Go Yohan, pupils, a dead brain. Nothing was rational. Even I, who was part of it, wasn’t rational. Everything I had experienced and heard, all the emotions and words, tangled together.

“Well, maybe a kiss would fix things.”

The circuit breaker flipped up so easily. And so, I did what I did.

I approached Go Yohan while kneeling. And I kissed him on the face that I would never forget. Surprisingly, my first kiss didn’t taste like lemon or lime; it tasted salty.

“……”

“……”

Pushing Go Yohan’s shoulder away, I locked eyes with him. Our gazes met, changing like a spectrum of light, shifting in many directions. When the colors finally formed a rainbow, I finally came back to my senses.

Damn, crazy bastard.

My body sprang up like a spring. I wiped my lips with my rough, filthy palm. My flushed face quickly built up another defense mechanism. I supported my shaky body by placing my hands on the desk. Still kneeling, I looked at Go Yohan, who was looking up at me.

“This, this is enough, right? We’re done, right?”

“……”

“Then, it’s over.”

With that, I turned and fled. As I looked back one last time, I saw the classroom from my second-year class. Somehow, the inside of the classroom seemed familiar. It was the same classroom where Go Yohan and I had met.

If you are reading this translation anywhere other than Novelight.net or SilkRoadTL, it has been stolen.


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TL Notes: Hello my dears! Today we finished volume 5 of the book. I hope you like everything :) Tomorrow we start with volume 6.