The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 23 〉 Chapter 23. Those Left Behind.

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**

Blessed are those who mourn,

Blessed are those who mourn,

Blessed are those who mourn,

Blessed are those who mourn,

Blessed are those who mourn,

Blessed are those who mourn,

Blessed are those who mourn,

For they shall mourn forever

『Eight Blessings』by Yun Dong-ju.

Sorrow is the most universal emotion.

It lies at the root of all growth.

"—That's… my favorite poem."

**

The day my sister pushed Aris off the cliff.

My world lost its color.

Nothing could make me smile.

No one could bring me joy.

The smell of well-cooked meat was like a pungent stench that pierced my nose, and buttered bread was so greasy it made me nauseous.

In my dreams, Aris appeared, dripping with blood from head to toe.

She could have expressed her anger, her resentment towards my incompetence, my inability to save her. Yet, she just smiled with all her might, just like the kind and precious little sister she was. When I came to my senses, I was always crying alone in an empty room.

It was cold.

The bed, which had always felt too small, felt surprisingly spacious.

That realization was so heartbreaking.

A month had passed since then.

Rain doesn't last forever.

And neither does a clear sky.

The dark clouds that had loomed over the royal palace gradually dissipated, and people started returning to their daily lives.

All the things that big sis Anna had done were swept under the rug, and the blame for the incident was placed entirely on Duke Aquitaine, who had cursed Anna with shamanistic tool.

Aris's written records, the cursed earring found at the scene, the maid's testimony, the suspect's escape.

There was no need for a trial.

The harshest possible punishment was handed down.

The reason for such a severe punishment was that there was no crueler punishment available.

Naturally, our parents forgave Anna.

Even though she had killed her sister, she was still a member of our family, and she had been under mental attack due to the curse. She was deeply remorseful and regretful, and most importantly, it could cause great turmoil in the kingdom—

So, the truth was buried.

Only fabricated lies remained, destined to be recorded in history.

I couldn't bear it. It felt like it was an insult to Aris's death, how she had struggled to hold on despite Anna's attack.

Yes.

I know.

I know.

I'm not so foolish as to deny that.

My head forgave Anna.

I thought that she was a victim too, a pitiful person, and that Aris, who hadn't even resisted properly, would also want me to forgive her.

But.

But my heart couldn't fully forgive her.

Disappointment, betrayal, frustration, malice, disillusionment, annoyance, unease, rage.

Every time I saw Anna, now obsessively devoted to her studies, my heart burned with rage.

There were things to pity about her, but a handful of water couldn't extinguish the raging fire.

That kind child.

The little sister so precious it would hurt to even touch her eyes

Who was kinder than anyone and always thought of others.

—To think that she was killed because of a mere inferiority complex.

I didn't know everything about shamanism, but I knew the basics.

The cursed earring wasn't imbued with a powerful curse.

In fact, the results of the secret investigation concluded that the earring only had the effect of amplifying emotions and manipulating anxiety, nothing more.

—The reason why Anna decided to kill Aris was her own will.

You killed her.

You, killed Aris.

You trampled on her, tormented her, and enjoyed watching her writhe in pain.

You mercilessly stabbed her with a sword, and in the end, you killed her, leaving her body to be lost forever.

How could you do that?

How could you do that to the child who cherished you more than anyone, how could you?

I went and grabbed her collar, demanding answers.

Was she that envious of Aris's talent?

Because of that one thing, you, who would ascend to the throne and have everything—

Did you kill the selfless child who always looked after her older sister more than anyone else?

Knowing that cruel truth, I couldn't forgive her.

Anna didn't say anything.

I will never forgive her, not in this lifetime.

Not her, not our parents who forgave her, not anyone associated with her.

All of them.

For the rest of my life.

Forever.

A month had passed.

Even news that seemed to carry an immeasurable amount of sorrow eventually fades with time.

You can't be sad forever, can you?

The bard who had praised Aris's wisdom, the maid who secretly helped me change Aris's clothes after kidnapping her, the knights who had watched Aris train—all of them returned to their duties.

The royal palace slowly regained its vibrancy.

Everyone was going back to those harmonious days.

They would finish their daily tasks, relieve their fatigue, and prepare for tomorrow.

Smiling, they would return to their places of rest.

But.

But, I tell you.

Even now, Aris is still under that cold water, desperately calling out our names one by one.

Groaning in hunger, she's longing for someone to find her.

She's in pain, she's asking for help, she's lonely.

But, why, how can you?

In a world where Aris isn't happy

—How can you all smile?

Tick, the hands of the clock fell off.

While everyone else's clocks were ticking away perfectly, it felt like my time alone had fallen behind, stopping with a thud.

How can you forget about Aris and move on with your lives, looking towards tomorrow?

I can't forget, even if I want to.

My world has stopped.

Every day was suffocating.

Insanely, suffocating.

Rage would surged within me for no reason, and I wanted to destroy everything in sight.

This burning emotion, this emotion I wanted to unleash.

But I couldn't.

Because Aris wouldn't want that.

Because I, who failed to grab Aris's hand as she fell, who didn't notice Aris spending sleepless nights consumed by worry as she investigated the curse alone—don't deserve to.

So in the end, all those arrows were pointed at myself.

Incompetence, sorrow, regret, depression, misery, grief, loneliness.

And, murderous intent towards myself.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH—!!!!"

"...!!"

The emotions, lost and directionless, became a snowball, growing larger and larger.

I gathered them all—

".....?!"

"—Ha."

Swoosh, I swung my sword.

**

Swish.

"Princess Remi's progress is truly remarkable."

"........"

Swish.

"And next year, Princess Remi's enrollment to the academy has been confirmed."

"......."

Swish.

"Did you sleep well?"

"........"

In the quiet room, where only the sound of pages turning could be heard, it was an old man kneeling who broke the silence. He was reporting the day's events, one by one.

Fayne, the former knight captain.

The man who was once Aris' swordsmanship instructor.

And now, Remi's swordsmanship instructor.

The report continued, but Anna Akaia, who was turning the pages of a book, showed no sign of stopping.

No, she didn't even react at all.

She just silently turned the pages, focused on her own task.

Despite her cold, almost rude behavior, Fayne continued his report without any sign of concern.

Because he was used to it.

Most of his reports were observations of Princess Remi.

Severed ties.

Estrangement.

Who would have thought that the two princesses, whose close relationship no one doubted, would become like this?

No one could have predicted it.

Remi treated Anna as if she didn't exist, trying to hide her betrayal, anger, and murderous intent towards her.

Anna, consumed by guilt, couldn't bring herself to face her younger sister.

Fayne's reports were an attempt to bridge the gap between them, even if just a little.

But their relationship was no longer close enough to be mended by such efforts.

"—Fayne."

"Yes, Princess."

Thud, the book, which had been flipped through to the end, was closed. Anna's eyes, sharp enough to cut with a single glare, fixed on him.

In an even colder voice, she commanded,

"Leave."

"......"

"I have things to do, and I want to focus."

After Aris's death, Anna Akaia started devoting herself to her studies, sleeping no more than three hours a day.

Even during those short hours of sleep, she would often wake up in a cold sweat, mumbling something.

Everyone worried about her health and advised her to rest, but Anna never listened.

Perhaps the reason she was so obsessed with her studies was to escape from her dreams.

Because when she dreamed, the memories would resurface.

Her blood-stained hands, the screams that pierced through her ears even when she covered them, the pleas for mercy.

She feared tomorrow.

Because she had to sleep.

Seeing the rising sun was too painful.

Of course, Anna's academic achievements soared as a result, but Fayne couldn't bring himself to be happy about it.

A corpse, a doll.

Anyone who saw Anna Akaia now would describe her that way.

A living corpse.

A doll without a soul.

The only thing that kept her moving was her younger sister, who was no longer in this world.

"Are you going to stay any longer?"

".....I will obey your command."

What a tragic affair.

Creaaaak, Fayne thought as he closed the door, which hadn't been oiled.

So, so tragic.

***

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