The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 22 〉 Chapter 22. Mutual Affection.

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**

A time when the seasons have changed a thousand times over.

For that long, long time, I simply existed, wasting away the years.

Without achieving anything, without even the desire to change, as if I were a pebble rolling along the roadside, I remained stuck in one place.

Yes.

All I had done were things that anyone, even a random passerby, could have accomplished.

There was no value in someone like me.

"—It's time to wake up."

"...Mmm..."

But not anymore.

There was now something only I could do.

Perhaps because I had read to her from a book until late last night, the child seemed very sleepy today. She clung tightly to the blankets, curled up as if unwilling to leave the warmth of her bed.

I got up early in the morning, prepared breakfast, and sat down next to the child, who was still half asleep.

Swish, I ran my hand through her silky hair, enjoying the soft texture.

Tingle, tingle.

I felt a jolt, like an electric current, run through my fingertips.

The food would get cold, but that didn't matter. I could always reheat it.

This fleeting moment was far more important.

The old me, who cursed the unmoving sun and wished for tomorrow to come, was gone. Now, this time, flowing away like grains of sand slipping through my fingers, was unbearably precious.

I wished this moment would last forever.

I thought to myself, no one else but me should be here, sitting next to this child.

I can't allow anyone else to take my place.

One month had passed since I started calling the child Alice, a mere speck of time compared to my long existence.

But that speck of time was precisely what I had truly desired.

My value, my worth, was slowly being born.

Yes, this is what it means to live.

This is what life is all about.

A rough, cruel, and ferociously raging poison.

That poison was consuming me.

"—Alice, if you don't wake up, I'll have to tickle you, you know?"

"...Mmm… Just a little longer… a little longer…"

"Really… This won't do…"

I felt alive, right here, right now.

**

The day, Elli made up her mind and gave me a new name.

Even on that day, when the sun seemed to be shining brightly just for us, the sun rose high and then sank beyond the mountains in the distance. Time didn't care about us.

It was such a fun day.

Really, really good.

"Really... Big Sis Elli, you too...!!"

"Ha... Haha... I got caught up in the moment, I couldn't help myself."

"Hmph! I'm going to sulk!"

Swish, I dramatically pulled down the neckline of my clothes. The area where my neck met my shoulder must be red.

Of course, I couldn't see it to be sure, but even I felt a sharp pain, so it must have been quite a painful bite.

To think she would bite me because I didn't wake up.

You play too rough.

I pouted and showed her my wound. There, see! This mark! I protested.

"Are you going to be upset..? Big Sis, I'm…sulking.. you know?"

"...Sulking once in a while…doesn’t seem so bad."

"Huh? What did you say?"

"Ah, it's nothing."

Elli had changed drastically since that day, as if she were a different person.

I was quite surprised by her transformation, how she was now actively approaching me, unlike before when she had kept her distance as if there was an invisible wall between us.

I had never seen her playful side before, like this morning.

People often show unexpected sides of themselves when they become close, but this was a complete change of her exterior.

Just like the saying that 'once a monk tastes meat, there won't be a single bug left in the temple,' once she tasted love, she could never go back to her former life, where she didn't know love.

Well, I also liked how she had struggled so hard to keep me at a distance, to avoid getting attached.

It was so obvious that she would eventually sink deep into the mud.

She should have just given in and accepted it from the start.

Love is like a thorn, the more you try to pull it out, the deeper it goes.

Heehee.

It's a little disappointing that I can't see the cold and indifferent Elli from before anymore, but I'm also enjoying her current state, so it's not all bad.

It's a good change.

Yes, this is how humans should be, reaching out to others and forming bonds.

I simply taught her the right way to live.

Even a passing encounter is a connection.

But where there are meetings, there are also partings.

And where there is love, there is also heartbreak.

"So Alice, what can I do for you?"

"...Feed me."

"Excuse me?"

"...Feed me."

"......"

Ah, this is dangerous.

I instinctively knew.

With my words, the atmosphere around her froze. But then Big Sis Elli came to her senses. I sensed her resolve and felt the change in the atmosphere around her to something unknown, and I thought,

Oh no, I said the wrong thing.

For a moment, I thought about running away, and I quickly put that thought into action.

And I was quickly caught.

I didn't hear her pulling back her chair or walking towards me, but she caught me, my body trained from countless games of hide-and-seek, in a matter of seconds.

I-It's okay! I can eat by myself!

No. Didn't you ask me to feed you first?

I was just kidding! So it's okay!

If you play a prank, you must be punished. Now—

W-What?!

After that, I was messily fed like crazy.

Elli held me like a baby, blowing on each spoonful of food before feeding it to me.

Wah wah, I'm baby Alice.

Hmph.

By the way, the food was delicious.

Tch.

**

During that month, Elli had gone through many changes.

Well, you could say that everything had changed, from her tone of voice to her actions. It would be faster to list the things that hadn't changed. But let's try to give three major examples.

First, Elli started calling me 'Alice'.

I don't know where she got that name from. Although I could understand the emotions of others well, even I couldn't read their thoughts.

Elli must know my real name and identity, 'Aris'. She might have called me 'Alice', a name derived from that.

That theory was plausible, but…

—But, something felt off.

She wanted to avoid the scenario of me regaining my memories as much as possible. It didn't seem like Elli would give me a name with such hints or in hopes for me to remember.

And the deep emotion I felt when Elli called me Alice.

A storm of emotions, so jumbled and mixed that even I couldn't decipher them all. There must be a deep story behind it.

Ugh… I don't know.

There were no hints, and it wasn't like she would tell me even if I asked.

My name wasn't that important, so should I just not worry about it?

Well, I guess Elli must have had a friend with that name in the past.

Yes, that's it.

Next, the frequency of 'disinfecting' my wounds decreased.

The disinfection, which was done almost daily, was reduced to about once a week.

The intensity also decreased significantly. Her tongue merely grazed my wounds. It didn't hurt, nor was it particularly ticklish.

If it was like candied fruit(Tanghulu) before, now it's like a simple coating, something like that. (TL Note: Wtf are you saying, you’re insane)

It couldn't be that it decreased because my wounds were healing well, because the frequency didn't gradually decrease, but changed abruptly overnight, so there must be some other reason.

When I endured the disinfection with a composed expression, saying it didn’t tickle, so it was fine, Elli sighed as if disappointed. Why…?

Finally, the number of Elli's nighttime hunts increased.

I don't know the reason.

She could move around freely with me, holding my hand, even under the blazing sun, but why did she only hunt at night?

And why was the frequency so short now?

Being a good child of a new country, I pretended not to notice Elli's strange behavior, sticking to my routine of sleeping early and waking up early. As always, I'm a good girl.

From my observations over the past month, she seemed to go out every three days.

And, as always, she returned reeking of blood.

Hunting.

So the chunks of meat that had recently appeared in my diet were personally brought in by Elli. Mostly rabbits and deer.

Of course, even before Elli started calling me Alice, she hunted. But not as often, not once every three days.

Once a week, at most.

It wasn't a sufficient explanation to say it was because I had started eating meat. I barely ate anything, to begin with.

Was it because of that? That intense scent of blood I'd felt since we first met.

No matter how much she washed, that metallic scent that clung to her fingernails, the creases of her ankles and knees, and behind her ears couldn’t be washed away.

It had started again.

Even though so many things had changed, there was one thing that hadn’t changed.

The bandages on my eyes showed no sign of being removed, even though my wounds were almost completely healed.

I asked her a few times if I could take them off, but the answer was always "Not yet."

Huh?

Ah, I don't get it.

I’ve already given her everything.

And yet, she still has so many secrets from me.

If you keep doing this, it just makes me want to know more.

This is your fault, Big Sis.

The intuition that warned me of danger when I first thought about uncovering Elli's secrets…

"......"

My intuition was silent.

The fact that it wasn’t reacting made me so happy, because it meant Elli cherished me.

Big Sis Elli, we're close, right?

Friends, yes. We’re good friends.

So—

Friends don't keep secrets from each other, right?

"Heehee."

I grinned.

***

The End.

After a few side stories, the second part will be released.

The side stories will be based on the recommendations in the comments and, what I want to write. (TL Note: Author is talking about comments on the original work, don’t worry about it.)

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